The boyfriend scenario

[NewMan]

There have been many post's recently with guy's saying something along the lines of....

"She's interested in me but has a boyfriend"

"She's given me her number but has a BF"

"She's a BF but she's telling me she is unhappy"

So the question is, with these women do you Go for them? do you tell them to dump their BF's first?

Do you ignore them?

Next them?

What are your thoughts on this subject?

 

[LilKid]

i have same problem right now

Only I know what to do. They are basically using us (and she is using me) as an emotional tampon. NEXT! (its easier said than done - i know, im having trouble nexting this chick now - oneitis sucks)

 

[E-Z Rider]

This is touchy. For a rookie, the generic advice is to stay away. Don't risk becoming attached.

But when you look at it in-depth, there is some gray area. It happens quite often...chick dumps guy, has great relationship with guy she knew before the dump. Probably more often though, that guy gets screwed.

Why does he get screwed? 1) He develops one-itis, and has no other options. 2) In the period before the break-up, he becomes her emotional tampon, and a "girlfriend with a penis". 3) The girl usually isn't completely over the guy.

If you can avoid those 3 major things, then you can have a chance of success. #1 goes without saying; you should always have option. #2 as well...don't become her counselor. Be the guy she can *forget* about her bf with, and just have fun with, with a little sexual tension. Then pull away when you get close to acting on that tension. #3 Don't artificially break them up. Don't tell her he's a lying cheating bastard and she should break up with him, even if that's what you believe. She's with him b/c she's still attracted to him. You can't "tell" to not be attracted to a guy, the best you can do is to make her become attracted to YOU (see #2). Wait a while after the break up to make a definitive move. Increase the tension very slowly and gradually. Follow DeAngelo's "two steps forward, one step back" philosophy.

This is a fairly difficult thing to pull off well. There is a high risk for rookies to get too attached. Then they fail at all 3 major things.
So it can be done, but isn't too easy, and should be approached with caution.

Hope this helps- E-Z

 

[CLOONEY]

2 answers.

#1, she an attention *****, solution: NEXT

#2, she is confused, solution: NEXT

Try if you want, but 99% chances are you will end up being fukced up.

Nuff said..........!

 

[Chrispy]

Let 'em know how much better you are for her, but don't go for her. She has a bf, but she's not married to him (unless she's living with him). Maybe when they break up, she'll have you in mind!

 

[Man2000]

I have same problem too...

My situation:

She flirted with me, and I didn't know she had a boyfriend until 2 weeks of emails back and forth.

She knows I'm interested, but she doesn't know I have 2 other girls in the works.

1. I'm getting out of one-itis (because of the other 2 girls)

2. I'm not going to be a counselor. She just tried to email me with a life problem. I just emailed her back, and didn't address the problem at all. I replied in one sentence, to make it look like I don't care.

3. I'm not going to try and break them up, all I said to her was, "When you break up, let me know."
If she breaks up, I'm going for it. I'm playing this safe, and I'm confident that it has possibilities for success. I'm not holding my breath though.

As for the other girls in the works? I went out with one so far. Made out with her, and had a great time, she's really into me. Now, I've got to ask the second one out.

I say play it safe with this girl, and I wish you good luck with her!! Be calm and don't lose your cool.

(P.S. I'm not an expert-but I'm working on it)

 

[Speed Demond]

Well Since your on this site you should be working to become a dj..Damnit work your magic and she'll fall into your hands...probly wont break up but youll get to **** the ****t out of her..i'v tryed offten if you keep presistance yshe will thio eventualy break up with him....tease her...make her want you..thats why theres tipes on the site...if you wanna kow more...Go into the search and theres The "Girlfriend Stealers Club" or something, Check it out

 

[DJ_Dork]

Originally posted by CLOONEY
2 answers.

#1, she an attention *****, solution: NEXT

#2, she is confused, solution: NEXT

Try if you want, but 99% chances are you will end up being fukced up.

Nuff said..........!

This dude got it..over and over..if a girl starts talking about putting you in the friends zone.. Think of these two things. She'll want to keep you around as "friends" for #1, she might still be flirty and maybe do some things here and there.. but it's always #1 or #2. Look if a girl is geniunely interested in being with you.. #2 will never come up - she will never go "Hmmm, me and you seem not to be compatible.. do yuou think it will work out"?"

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

if she is talking to u about hooking up when she has a current b/f then dont b surprsed when she does it to u with someone else when u r her b/f - dont get serious with a girl like this - just pimp her.

 

[Julian]

Man, fucc a boyfriend. If shes looking elsewhere then hes doing something wrong and that aint my problemo.

Ill jack a guys women at the drop of a hat. BOOYA!

 

[Man2000]

In regard to Man2000's situation

Thanks Speed Demond. That encouragement really helps. I appreciate it. And, yes, I do wanna ***** the ****t out of her. I'm sure she knows that, lol.

PuertoRican_Lover, I agree. If something happens between her and I before a break up with her boyfriend, then, I will know she is a cheater at heart. I'd rather wait until she breaks up.

I'm pretty strong emotionally, and I'm just going to string her along from a distance.

Right now, she's the one emailing me. I stopped contacting her the day she told me about her boyfriend. I've only responded to her emails just to keep her wondering. So far she's emailed me everyday for a week. Oh, she missed one day, cause I said something vaguely rude/sexual the day before. I cracked up to myself when she emailed me again a day later.

It's fun, and I'm going to keep this the way it is right now. She might stop the emails, and then that will probably be the end of the whole thing. Cause I won't contact her after that. (hopefully!!)

 

[Man2000]

Update:

I'll use these names to make things easy to explain.

3 prospects for dates I got:

1. "Email girl"-The girl I like. She emails me, and I told myself, I'd stop contacting her. Because she has a boyfriend.

2. "High interest girl"-We went out once and had a great date.

3. "Girl Number Three"-I have to ask her out still.

My AFC ending:

1. I emailed "Email girl". Got no answer. I really ruined this one. She wasn't into me, has a boyfriend, and I told myself I would stop emailing her. I blew it. If she would have told me from the beginning, she was taken, I would have never contacted her. I guess her flirting was just her way of getting some attention. Oh, well.

2. "High interest girl" just shot me down. I asked for a second date, and she countered with, "How about you and I, and my friend?". No Thanks. I didn't go for that counter offer. Cause it sucked as an offer.

3. "Girl Number Three"-I have to ask her out still. We have emailed each other, and she gave me her number. Yet, she says her phone is not working right. Not sure about this, so, I have low expectations. I suspect she just wants to be friends. I'm not going to go for that, if that's her angle.

Hey, I'm ok. I just want you guys to see how things are going. Even though it's not going good, I am still going to go and find new prospects. I just have to get out again, and meet new girls. In a way, getting shot down, is making me feel free. Like, I can go and look for new girls now.

I'm making this a learning experience.

But, my ego is bruised. I'll survive.

Stupid Ho's! LOL!

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by NewMan
There have been many post's recently with guy's saying something along the lines of....

"She's interested in me but has a boyfriend"

"She's given me her number but has a BF"

"She's a BF but she's telling me she is unhappy"

So the question is, with these women do you Go for them? do you tell them to dump their BF's first?

Do you ignore them?

Next them?

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Do YOU WANT to go for her? If so, do it. And no don't tell her a thing. Don't even think of mentioning the BF. If she wants you, she wants you to take her, not tell her, TAKE HER, trust me.

So the only question is what do YOU want?