The bitterness toward women thing

[Colossus]

Lots of good replies here, but I agree that bitterness is loop of self-fulfilling negative feedback. Confirmation bias, at its worst. You had a sh!tty experience, which through your own processing and defensive mechanisms ferments into bitterness. You begin to ONLY see things that confirm your worldview of women---the cvnts, the feminists, the college clones, the tattoos, the promiscuity---and that only fosters more negative feelings about women.

Most of us have been there to some degree, and it can be a VERY difficult hole to dig yourself out of. And believe me, women can smell it a mile away. Even other men.

The best way to get out of the bitterness loop is to refresh your perspective with new women and new experiences. Your bitterness is primarily stemming from a sample size of 1. There is so much variation in personality, upbringing, and past experience out there that you haven't yet experienced.

The key is, you obviously cant make this change overnight. You have to start with one positive experience and build from there. A successful approach, a number close, a kiss, a lay...just remember that there are some real sweethearts out there. None of them are angels, but people just like you.

 

[Zarky]

OP you might want to consider seeing a psychologist. The responses here are actually pretty good ones but if you're seeing "evil" in all women because of something one of them did to you then I think it's time to get some deep professional counseling.

 

[logicallefty]

OP you might want to consider seeing a psychologist. The responses here are actually pretty good ones but if you're seeing "evil" in all women because of something one of them did to you then I think it's time to get some deep professional counseling.

Counseling is a crock of sh!t. I've yet to find a counsoler who did anymore for me than a giant rock could have done.

 

[Zarky]

Well, it's certainly better than "peer therapy" from randoms on teh interwebz.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Well, it's certainly better than "peer therapy" from randoms on teh interwebz.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. You walk into a therapist's office, and they are going to see you as an "income stream," whether they know it consciously or not.

On some level, they're going to want to find as many problems as possible, (especially some that most people learn to deal with through experience on their own) just to keep you coming back.

I wouldn't recommend going to therapy unless one was seriously considering harming oneself or harming others.

So long as you're not planning on doing any damage, the BEST therapy is to grab your balls and make a move over and over, and get plenty of experience to draw from, so you can behave more like you want to.

That being said, a COACH is a different animal altogether. If you've got the cash, having a "getting laid coach" to check in with once a week and formulate a game plan, and discus the previous week's activities can certainly be helpful.

If you walked into a therapist's office and said you wanted to get laid, they'd likely start digging for deeper issues, whether they were there or not.

 

[Malcontent]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Just went out for a night on the town for the first time in a couple years. It was nice to have some chicks to chat with. I think a couple would have banged if I went for it. Maybe I am reversing the negative feedback loop a little bit.

One of them, however, was showing me how she was toying with a guy via text messages and how she felt joy in "playing him like a fiddle" in her words.

 

[BeDJ]

Yeah, I just wonder what that "event" will be. I feel like life is passing me by and here I am scowling about it. I'm struggling with whether or not I just need to let the time pass naturally or shock myself into change.

I also feel that life is passing me by, it's a self-depreciating feeling. Maybe we might be on the same boat that the best years of our lives is slipping. For me, I know I have so much potential to be the best, making a dent in this world and unable to create opportunities to achieve them.

From my post, I completely have come to terms with women that wronged me in the past, also, women that I have wronged. It's very easy to become bitter, but forgiveness is one of best things you can do. The 'subconscious bitterness' is a self-fulfilling negative vibe. I took me a while to let it go. Once you do, it will allow you to live life the way you want. Happiness should be something every Don Juan should strive for.

 

[In2theGame]

Try focusing on women who are a bit lower on your standards. I'm not saying downright ugly but suppose you normally look for HB8's or HB9's, then focus on HB7's for a while now

I gave this a shot recently and i actually had a great time with this girl i met up with this weekend. I have hooked up with the really hot, short dress, all done up blondes in the hot bars/lounges but aside from the sex, they were a headache so big, not even a whole bag of Excedrin would help. The hottest girl i was seeing for a few months was pretty damn hot to the point that every single place we went, guys couldn't stop staring. I was banging the fvck out of her but once i was done... it was like the drama started soon after. I remember one night we had really good sex and right after we got into a huge fight lol and to no surprise, that dating relationship ended during a big argument. Did i look good walking into places with a beautiful Woman many men crave? Yea. Was the sex great? Yeah. Was the Emotional roller coaster worth it? No. It helped that im a good looking guy and women would hit on me in front of her so that kept her in check but it also flared up jealousy and argument that started with a phone call asking "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "How come i haven't heard from you!?" I did put up with it for a little bit because she was hot but i ended it when things just got too much. Before her i dated many other hot chicks but although their personalities varied... it came down to the same type of drama.

At first i went after girls who were below my "league" not necessarily below my standards but girls who weren't all flashy Hot and i struggled a little bit because my "game" was catered towards the flashy hot women and my aggressive ultra confident attitude put the "average" type girls a little on the defensive. They would find me attractive but i would mess up because i came off as a player so i toned it down a bit and Ive been doing very well.
Last night I met up with a girl some men may think is too much on the thick scale but as Ive mentioned before.. i like them thick even though im very lean and muscular. So i went with my friends to meet up with her and her friends. I get there and i see her from far hanging out in the group of her "all done up skinny" friends. I place my hand on her waist and she turns to give me a big hug while her friends looked a little shocked lol!! I kind of liked that, As if to say "How did she get him". Stupid jealous chicks, I had a great time with her and id like to see her again. Its not likes shes ugly or anything like that at all. Shes pretty just thick and usually girls think that the tall muscular guys want that skinny type but not me. Been there, done that. Her body is like that Brazilian big booty dancer http://i.imgur.com/upJhkzE.jpg Many would consider her "fat" but i like the thick big booty. Overall... I had a great time and watching her group of friends huddled up like an NFL team watching me make out with her was pretty funny. This is a video i found of her dancing... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LCjZehpdWM I dunno WTF shes saying and this show looks so fvcking pointless lol but the fact is... that azz would make for a great time in bed.

 

[pbsurf]

Lots of great replies to a great/difficult subject. This may be at the core of all of the threads on this site - the way we handle ourselves when confronted with the truth about women..

Anyway, not much for me to add that hasn't already been said, except my feeling that you should change your handle - Malcontent - i'm a big believer in the idea that what we actually say becomes reality, and if you see yourself as a malcontent, you will actually be/become that...

Pop psychology I know, but still

 

[Bible_Belt]

Counseling is a crock of sh!t. I've yet to find a counsoler who did anymore for me than a giant rock could have done.

My ex-wife is a counselor. She works with kids now, but has done marriage and family counseling before. Therapists are like any other human profession - a lot depends on who you get. If you're worried about getting fvcked out of your money, that's the insurance company's job. If your health insurance says you only get one counselor visit every two weeks, then it doesn't matter if you are about to jump off a tall building, that's all you get.

Most health care for any sort of mental problem is in the form of pills, not therapy, brought to you buy another group who will fvck you 100x more than therapists - the pharmaceutical industry. For all its shortcomings, therapy still beats the sh!t out of pills as a long-term solution. But there's a ton more money in pills, so that's the healthcare we have.

 

[Redwood]

Lots of great answers here. I would say try meditating or surround yourself with women that give off positive vibes. It's only up to you to take action.