The BIG Mistake of Nice Guys -- and How To Fix It

[Giovanni Casanova]

Think about the Nice Guy for a moment. What exactly MAKES him so "Nice"? I mean, he's nice, but to whom, exactly? The girl. He's normal to everyone else, not too nice, not too jerky, just normal. But the girl, or just all girls in general, he worships.

DJs should be super nice and friendly to everyone (unless there's a specific reason not to be). Not just her. You know, it seems like common courtesy but it's really not so very common. Be respectful to people. Say please, thank you, excuse me, et cetera. Smile at people for God's sake, and talk to people. Strike up conversations. With everyone. Not just women, guys too. Don't try to be some mack who tries to sweet talk and seduce the women and ignores the guys. Talk to guys AND girls, just be a friendly person. Just please, please, don't try to sweet talk or seduce the men.

I guarantee you that this will do a few things for you. First, you'll start to feel better about yourself, you'll feel like a friendlier person. Second, you will appear friendly and confident to women, and believe me, even if you're talking to a guy, women WILL be watching and even overhearing. If you can be witty and funny in your conversations, even better. Third, you'll be teaching yourself to be more outgoing.

Before long, you'll be one of the most popular guys around, with girls and guys.



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CASANOVA

"Always love thy enemies, just in case all your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards."

"Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers."
Leigh Hunt

"Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 

[Taz]

Hell yeah, nice post. That's exactly the attitude I've been trying to apply lately.

 

[Master of the Universe]

Words to live by. Believe me, girls do notice...

Master of the Universe

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"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"

 

[DJStudent]

I definately agree. I think sometimes we DJ's in training get so caught up in trying to get a girl that we forget just being a good friend to everyone else. Doesn't hurt to have a lot of friends. It's all about the connections.

 

[ScarFaceOI]

Great Post man!

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Don Juan
ScarFaceOI
ScarFaceOI@greatestgamers.com

The DJ Bible ~or~ The High School Don Juan Bible

“Low there do I see my Father. Low there do I see my Mother and my Sisters and my Brothers. Low there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning. They bid me, take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live, forever!”
–Norseman Prayer

 

[Aztec]

Girls I cared about, and wanna lay, used to call me a "nice guy." I felt the tingle in my spine. I thought to my self, "Yeah baby, I'm gonna get it now!"

Yup, then it was just limited to my thoughts all right...


What it really counts is how niceness is to general compared and contrasted to handling women.


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"Don't think you are, you know you are."

-Morpheus-

 

[Galactus]

Hell yeah. Being cool to everyone fits in with a lot of what is taught on this site. It conveys confidence, strength, charisma, and inner peace. It makes you appear to women as the Alpha Male, the one in charge, because you don't easily get your feathers ruffled. It puts you in control, and people see that. It also shows other people that you like them. The guy that can let his guard down and talk to anyone with a smile and a little power in his voice will be attractive to women, and respected by men.

It should be obvious, but still many of us can't figure out that this is what we should do. Think about people who are leaders. Do you think they got there by being meek and unfriendly? No, they get out there and they make friends with as many people as possible. And when they speak, they're strong and confident, and it's contagious. Politicians get elected (at least before our last presidential election) because they are liked, because through their charisma, they are able to sway people over to their way of thinking.

In the past, I wasn't really that friendly. I was shy, and pretty much kept to myself. A few days ago, on my day off, I stopped by my workplace to pick up my check. There was a guy and a woman sitting there. The woman is a good friend, the guy just started, and I barely know him. I began talking and joking, and in just a couple minutes there were two more girls and another guy standing around me. We were all laughing hysterically, and I was controlling most of the conversation. I feel great at times like that, partially because it's just so nice to be around other people who are enjoying my company. But also because it reinforces in my head that I have the power to control my relationships with other people. I can decide: talk or not talk, smile or not smile, be liked or disliked, be a winner or be a loser.

There's another woman I work with. She's not attractive to me, but I'm nice to her for two reasons: One, because she's a human being, and she's just as worthy of respect as anyone else. And two, simply because you always benefit in some way from being friendly. And I'm not talking about nice guy chump behaviour here. Anyway, yesterday she told me how she loved working with me. It made me feel good, mainly because I know I make her feel good. That's reason enough for me to be friendly. I don't want to die knowing that I was only nice to hot women because I wanted to get laid.

We live in a society. The first step in being part of it is making friends.

Thanks for reinforcing these thoughts in my head, Gio. I always enjoy reading your posts.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by galactus:
Politicians get elected (at least before our last presidential election) because they are liked, because through their charisma, they are able to sway people over to their way of thinking.

LOL! Gush and Bore were sure overflowing with charisma, weren't they?

BGMan

 

[stockholder]

Your name fits you Casanova.

 

[AlfredB18]

Originally posted by BGMan:
LOL! Gush and Bore were sure overflowing with charisma, weren't they?

BGMan

Last time I checked, Slick Willie and Gary Condom, errr, Condit lied there way into office (Well, if not lies, the closet was pakced anyway.). If people like them thru that crap, so be it.

A leader gets where he wants to go by doing anything he possibly can to get from point A to point B.

It's not about being meek, but they aren't angels, either.

 

[Galactus]

Originally posted by AlfredB18:
Last time I checked, Slick Willie and Gary Condom, errr, Condit lied there way into office (Well, if not lies, the closet was pakced anyway.). If people like them thru that crap, so be it.

A leader gets where he wants to go by doing anything he possibly can to get from point A to point B.

It's not about being meek, but they aren't angels, either.

Definitely not. But they got to point B by making friends. If you want help getting somewhere in life, you'd better smile and shake some hands. I never said you can't stab them in the back later.