The bias of Sosuave and the self-sabotage that ensues...

[ThunderMaverick]

Many men are appaled at the female version of the board known as the book "the rules"

Well guess what for every ying there is a yang, and girls can play this Don Juan game too. But men get offended by it and say it is trickery and you will never get a good guy doing that stuff.



Though things can get tainted here, you know this has helped many guys get laid, relationship, etc and there's no proof or philosophy you can throw at anyone here that can disprove that. This site and other forms of guidance and advice are one of a few key reasons why I'm in a great relationship now.

This site, the DJ Bible, and the advice here from others has taught me the importance of self improvement and understanding what a woman looks for in a guy. A GOOD woman doesn't want an insecure guy. A woman doesn't want a weak man. A woman wants a guy who can take care of himself. A woman wants a guy who can make her laugh. A woman wants a guy to satisfy her sexually. If you're missing two or more of the above, then you're in store for a bumpy relationship, my friend. And you KNOW this.

Read the DJ bible again sometime.

It is your fault that she messed around, or flaked on you, or tried to lead you on.
How is it your fault, you might ask? Because you weren't (at the time, anyways) MAN enough to keep her. That's all it comes down to.

People can make the same mistakes over and over again. Just as bad as lighting a cigarette or drinking too much, people are comfortable with what destroys them. Failing with women over and over again can lead to major self destruction, and even give a negative view on women as a whole. You ask how it's our fault that women flake, lead us on, etc? Because we haven't a clue, dude. How do we learn?
Do we learn by watching David Schimmer from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.? John Cussak movies? Our mothers and only our mothers?!

....That's what this site is for. We're all her to break the cycle and become better people.


Any women who is truly invested in a relationship with you will not cheat. She will not flake. She will only love and respect you.

It's your job to be man enough to make sure she stays that way.

How do you do that? You just do it? WOW! IF THAT'S THE CASE I SHOULD HAVE E-MAILED YOU A LONG TIME AGO! o_o;

While you careen though a great sex life, other guys don't have such an easy time of "being a man". It's a luxury that was lost a long time ago.

I only say this to defend the real purpose of the board.

Sorry, but a woman doesn't love us if we're out of control. And if she does, she proably has bad taste.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Dah, BUMP!

 

[Wyldfire]

I've been saying the same thing for months and months now...and it's nice to see that others are beginning to notice it as well. As frivolous pointed out...the mature men's section is horrible in this respect. What was originally intended to be used for older, more mature men who were in relationships or wanted to discuss more advanced issues has become essentially a men's rights forum. Anti-feminists who are bitter, angry and anything but mature have taken root there and taken the forum into the toilet. There are plenty of men's rights forums out there...but this is a site specific to relating to and dealing with the opposite sex in a dating/relationship capacity.

 

[tseluca]

Wyldefire

I have visited the mature men's forum and I agree, I think it is just that they have been striking out longer or perhaps been burned more, therefore are a bit more jaded.

You sound like a woman are you?

It would be nice to have some other females on here

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by tseluca
Wyldefire

I have visited the mature men's forum and I agree, I think it is just that they have been striking out longer or perhaps been burned more, therefore are a bit more jaded.

You sound like a woman are you?

It would be nice to have some other females on here

It's not that they have been burned more or less than any of the other guys here. They just happened to get too embroiled in opposing feminism to the point where they sound just as damn bad as radical feminists. Same behavior...an extremist is an extremist and they all suck, regardless of their beliefs and causes.

Yes, I'm a woman...but that's really irrelevent.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I agree with BadAss,

PUA has become a "hobby" and women a "target." They're marketed as sex objects and guys respond in kind.

Guys are here because they lacked the Proper Perspective on women, particularly in these days. In earlier days, such as the 50's, marriage and the network that ensued was of necessity. Ying and Yang. Each gave to a relationship.

Now, what men gave is a bit watered down because we have the opportunity to generate an income stream sufficient to remain autonomous. So what happens now?

Marriage is no longer out of need (except in the instance of preg.), but out of DESIRE. A woman who comes into your life should build up WHAT ALREADY EXISTS. She is brought along on YOUR voyage. And if you choose, you go along on her's. If you don't, then fine, but the current climate of the world suffices in that people can choose freedom and casualness over a lifetime of marriage and survitude.

If you see where we're at on the hierarchy of needs, you'll see the US atop the pyramid seeker higher emotional needs and spiritual needs. No longer must any one person of means be tied to another for resources. And as such, you men own your lives, and must find women who can accept and integrate into them. See if she mixes. If she fits.

You want to be part of the pickup and lay? Go for it. It's a matter of numbers. It's easy. Really. Work on yourself. Be attractive. Focus on your personality. It's quite easy. The hard part is maintaining a relationship, the easy part is picking up girls @ clubs and bars and banging them, and then never talking again.

The harder, more intensive part requires you connecting or not. Staying focused on your life. The PUA-mindset is like that of a boy never grows up. If you're with a woman once a night, or only once, there's planning for the future. You never worry about ONE-itis, or your own life, or goals, because each pickup is a distraction from that.

How do you balance a GF and what you want? Your needs vs. her's? Can you create and keep a life? Are there ways to be successful NOW and lead the life you want with 1 person?

50% of ALL marriages that ever occur will end by the 22nd year of marriage. That's a lock. And it isn't because people can't make it, but they go IN WRONG, so inevitably they come out WRONG, and bam it's over.

Heck, the numbers to being rich and successful are far lower, like 5%, yet more people try, but they try foolishly. If those people who dump funny money into loto tickets and dumb stocks actually LEARNED how to use money and invest, they'd HAVe tons of it. Not to mention if they learned HOW to manage their budget and cut the crap spending out, life wouldn't be so tough on them. But it is, because WANTS vs ABILITY is WAY imbalanced. They want ALOT, but cannot generate (ability) the income to pay for such things.

Women, relationships, DJ ism, all that stuff is much the same. It isn't YOUR fault, totally. Ignorance is your fault, but at the time, you didn't know. It's alot like knowing you should invest and save and get educated on money, but don't. THEN you're just dumb. But if you weren't ever aware and your parents never made you aware, how would you know it existed if you could never know about its existence?

Ever see the Village? Their reality was the Village and that the outside world was bad. They never knew they were rich people or crazy people trying to run from the world that hurt them so bad. The kids never knew because they NEVER could know. At the time, the lot of you guys NEVER knew. You couldn't. You weren't aware. Your mind was asleep. But now it isn't.

AND NOW YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. You always were, but now you have the understanding of the existence of this "issue" and must do something with it. If you come to SoSuave.com and make no intent on figuring it out, you're just dumb. And if you have friends who don't know and are in pain, and don't make them aware, you're a bad friend. Don't push it on them, but be a good friend.

------------------------------

SoSuave is just a stepping stone. It's like Preschool compared to the level of maturity you should have. In Pre-school, you go to learn. Later on, in Graduate schools, YOU CONTRIBUTE. How many guys can do that? Come up with tested theories, philosophies, or books, ideas, seminars, thoughts, concepts on their own, on the spot?

Isn't that self-sufficiency and original thinking, the goal of such sites, that are FREE?

The mentality of chasing tail is simply childish. I've done and I can't believe I did. When I was 17, I wanted nothing more than to have hot chicks. But then I grew up and realized I had ALL I need. I had my friends, my interests, and my ability to MAKE MY LIFE HAPPY without the injection or input of ANYONE else. What could you possibly desire at that point? I could make happiness and productivity of NOTHING. A producer!

Women are just the dash of whipped cream on your sundae. They can be more, depending on who they are and what you want, but wrapping yourself in this mentality is warped and unhealthy.

It's the OVER-expectation of what they are, or the EXPECTED change most guys buy into. See them for WHAT they are the minute or dates you've met them. Observe. Watch. Relate. Question. Understand. Many guys go GAGA after 1 date, and yet, the relationship could end in heartbroken fashion by year 22. Put it in PERSPECTIVE. Sure, she's great. But you sweat it? Come on. You've got to be prepared for LOSS now, because it only gets worse if you attach yourself to it. Lots of guys lose themselves over a person. And it isn't the death, but the personal LOSS one experiences. Only, that's NATURAL.

---------------------------

Picture yourself looking out onto the world.

What do you see?

Is it a nasty place you want to turn away from...or do you see opportunity? The ability to challenge yourself?

The whole game is mental. Women being good or bad. Money. Riches. Social status. One big freaking game. It's laughable. The whole cherade. Like apes, trying to ACT like we're civilized. Where are we ACTUALLY trying to go?

We're trying to get off a planet when we can't even learn to live in peace and harmony. This isn't a bitter view. Because I try to live good 1 person at a time. Cross me, I cross you. But I try to be awake while living. Look through the LOOKING glass, Alice.

----------------------------

Anyways, I'm rambling...


A-Unit

 

[saki]

Re: Re:

Originally posted by A-Unit
I agree with BadAss,

PUA has become a "hobby" and women a "target." They're marketed as sex objects and guys respond in kind.

Guys are here because they lacked the Proper Perspective on women, particularly in these days. In earlier days, such as the 50's, marriage and the network that ensued was of necessity. Ying and Yang. Each gave to a relationship.

Now, what men gave is a bit watered down because we have the opportunity to generate an income stream sufficient to remain autonomous. So what happens now?

Marriage is no longer out of need (except in the instance of preg.), but out of DESIRE. A woman who comes into your life should build up WHAT ALREADY EXISTS. She is brought along on YOUR voyage. And if you choose, you go along on her's. If you don't, then fine, but the current climate of the world suffices in that people can choose freedom and casualness over a lifetime of marriage and survitude.

If you see where we're at on the hierarchy of needs, you'll see the US atop the pyramid seeker higher emotional needs and spiritual needs. No longer must any one person of means be tied to another for resources. And as such, you men own your lives, and must find women who can accept and integrate into them. See if she mixes. If she fits.

You want to be part of the pickup and lay? Go for it. It's a matter of numbers. It's easy. Really. Work on yourself. Be attractive. Focus on your personality. It's quite easy. The hard part is maintaining a relationship, the easy part is picking up girls @ clubs and bars and banging them, and then never talking again.

The harder, more intensive part requires you connecting or not. Staying focused on your life. The PUA-mindset is like that of a boy never grows up. If you're with a woman once a night, or only once, there's planning for the future. You never worry about ONE-itis, or your own life, or goals, because each pickup is a distraction from that.

How do you balance a GF and what you want? Your needs vs. her's? Can you create and keep a life? Are there ways to be successful NOW and lead the life you want with 1 person?

50% of ALL marriages that ever occur will end by the 22nd year of marriage. That's a lock. And it isn't because people can't make it, but they go IN WRONG, so inevitably they come out WRONG, and bam it's over.

Heck, the numbers to being rich and successful are far lower, like 5%, yet more people try, but they try foolishly. If those people who dump funny money into loto tickets and dumb stocks actually LEARNED how to use money and invest, they'd HAVe tons of it. Not to mention if they learned HOW to manage their budget and cut the crap spending out, life wouldn't be so tough on them. But it is, because WANTS vs ABILITY is WAY imbalanced. They want ALOT, but cannot generate (ability) the income to pay for such things.

Women, relationships, DJ ism, all that stuff is much the same. It isn't YOUR fault, totally. Ignorance is your fault, but at the time, you didn't know. It's alot like knowing you should invest and save and get educated on money, but don't. THEN you're just dumb. But if you weren't ever aware and your parents never made you aware, how would you know it existed if you could never know about its existence?

Ever see the Village? Their reality was the Village and that the outside world was bad. They never knew they were rich people or crazy people trying to run from the world that hurt them so bad. The kids never knew because they NEVER could know. At the time, the lot of you guys NEVER knew. You couldn't. You weren't aware. Your mind was asleep. But now it isn't.

AND NOW YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. You always were, but now you have the understanding of the existence of this "issue" and must do something with it. If you come to SoSuave.com and make no intent on figuring it out, you're just dumb. And if you have friends who don't know and are in pain, and don't make them aware, you're a bad friend. Don't push it on them, but be a good friend.

------------------------------

SoSuave is just a stepping stone. It's like Preschool compared to the level of maturity you should have. In Pre-school, you go to learn. Later on, in Graduate schools, YOU CONTRIBUTE. How many guys can do that? Come up with tested theories, philosophies, or books, ideas, seminars, thoughts, concepts on their own, on the spot?

Isn't that self-sufficiency and original thinking, the goal of such sites, that are FREE?

The mentality of chasing tail is simply childish. I've done and I can't believe I did. When I was 17, I wanted nothing more than to have hot chicks. But then I grew up and realized I had ALL I need. I had my friends, my interests, and my ability to MAKE MY LIFE HAPPY without the injection or input of ANYONE else. What could you possibly desire at that point? I could make happiness and productivity of NOTHING. A producer!

Women are just the dash of whipped cream on your sundae. They can be more, depending on who they are and what you want, but wrapping yourself in this mentality is warped and unhealthy.

It's the OVER-expectation of what they are, or the EXPECTED change most guys buy into. See them for WHAT they are the minute or dates you've met them. Observe. Watch. Relate. Question. Understand. Many guys go GAGA after 1 date, and yet, the relationship could end in heartbroken fashion by year 22. Put it in PERSPECTIVE. Sure, she's great. But you sweat it? Come on. You've got to be prepared for LOSS now, because it only gets worse if you attach yourself to it. Lots of guys lose themselves over a person. And it isn't the death, but the personal LOSS one experiences. Only, that's NATURAL.

---------------------------

Picture yourself looking out onto the world.

What do you see?

Is it a nasty place you want to turn away from...or do you see opportunity? The ability to challenge yourself?

The whole game is mental. Women being good or bad. Money. Riches. Social status. One big freaking game. It's laughable. The whole cherade. Like apes, trying to ACT like we're civilized. Where are we ACTUALLY trying to go?

We're trying to get off a planet when we can't even learn to live in peace and harmony. This isn't a bitter view. Because I try to live good 1 person at a time. Cross me, I cross you. But I try to be awake while living. Look through the LOOKING glass, Alice.

----------------------------

Anyways, I'm rambling...


A-Unit

Very well said A-unit. You have inspired a completely different train of thought for me now.

 

[Nighthawk]

I'm not here because I've been burned by a woman, nor do I hate them. I love women, especially hot ones, and came here to sharpen my game and share my wisdom with the virgins.

Yes, I call it a game because it is a game, at least outside of a LTR and often then too. I didn't make the rules, but I figured out long before I came here that there are some basic dos & don'ts regarding building attraction in women.

Do be the prize, don't be needy, do be good in bed, don't take any crap, etc. And that is basically what The DJ Bible teaches and what I thought this site was about.

Yet I am reading more and more posts about how it should all be taken with a pinch of salt and who needs women anyway.

If you don't agree with the basic tenets of SoSuave perhaps you could try www.buyhersomeflowerslikemothersuggests.com.

See that picture at the top of the page? It's a hot babe. That's why I'm here. Do you know why you are?

 

[Warlord]

I love how the AFCs in here claim "if you love her enough, she won't cheat on you" - god damn I love these "awe inspiring" posts where people claim they have "discovered the truth" when it really opens holes in their insecurities.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by Warlord
I love how the AFCs in here claim "if you love her enough, she won't cheat on you" - god damn I love these "awe inspiring" posts where people claim they have "discovered the truth" when it really opens holes in their insecurities.

I'm forced to ask you where i open holes in my insecurities, and how I am an AFC because of this post?

This in no way was an "inspiring post" but rather an observation i made in my development in becoming a better man. A plea, in a sense, to bring back some class to the sosuave boards and stop all the woman hating that has been running rampant.

i'd say the AFC is the one who is so bothered by my post that he feels he needs to take a stab at it... Maybe you saw a bit too much of yourself in what i said and you'd rather not be reminded?

I rarely see anything but negativity in your posts, Warlord.

 

[Jariel]

Well said Bad Ass! I really like your post and see a lot of truth to it.

I feel it applies especially to my current girlfriend. I've dated a lot of flakey, insecure women and b1tches who play games, made me feel insecure and bitter, but it all came down to my poor choice of women and being a fool to get so caught up in their games. Yet not all women are like that. Just learn to avoid those that are.

My girlfriend is so into me, so passionate and affectionate, and treats me with complete respect. It's too soon to say I love her, but I love every moment I'm with her and I do have feelings for her. Yet I feel so comfortable, confident and secure, and when we get together it's always good fun. How can that possibly be an AFC or generally negative thing?

Oneitis or love cause many guys to become insecure and they blow their chances as a result of this. Instead of accepting and enjoying their feelings, they become scared of losing her and defensive (like many guys on this site), and that in itself is a turn off. I mean, is it any fault of the woman if her man suddenly becomes a suplicating wuss, cold and frightened and stops being fun to be with and she loses her attraction for him?

If you care for a woman, stop being afraid of it and embrace it. It shows confidence to follow your desires, and confidence is more attractive than defensiveness.

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian


It is your fault that she messed around, or flaked on you, or tried to lead you on.
How is it your fault, you might ask? Because you weren't (at the time, anyways) MAN enough to keep her. That's all it comes down to.

I'm sorry, but I really have to take issue with this statement. Many women hide who they really are during the dating process. A lot of times, men have no clue what they're getting into.

For many women, it's just in their nature to behave that way. It's not the guys fault and it does a guy no good to beat himself up over a woman's basic flaws.

If you act like an idiot, that's one thing but that's not always the case. Plenty of good dudes get burned by the wives/girlfriends or just have bad results in general.

I personally will not beat myself up over a woman's bad behavior and I don't think anyone else here should either.

 

[ElChoclo]

"Love" is well explained as a phenomenon caused by neuro chemicals. The scientific texts suggest that it lasts maybe 2 years on average. Probably explains why the girl returned from college after 3 years and didn't hit it off with her BF for whom she had kept herself "pure". He hadn't "matured" apparently, whatever that means.

There are vast legions of AFC's. Their suffering is immense compared to the relatively minor suffering caused by incorrect application of DJ principles. Oneitis is to mental health what obesity is to physical health, a common and serious problem. Giving a few diet tips isn't going to cause it to be replaced by anorexia as a problem.

 

[MetalFortress]

If your girl has problems to begin with, then it is not your fault when she loses interest. It is your fault, however, if she is a well-adjusted girl with good self esteem and she loses interest in you.

This site tries to put the actions of men into an overly miniscule number of archetypes. There's the low self esteem nice guy who is always complimentary, affectionate, doesn't believe in himself and is always downing himself to make his girl look better. Then there is the cold, ****y, aloof Don Juan, who doesn't give compliments and who never gets attached. What about a guy who has high self esteem, is complimentary and affectionate, is ****y, funny and is the leader in the relationship? That would be me, of course, and even though I do some sh!t that would make some DJ rules-boys cringe, my girlfriend eats it all up and begs for more. I don't qualify what I do by "is this DJ or not" - I just do it. Being confident and having high self esteem is a prerequisite to doing almost anything right in a relationship - while nothing you do will work if you have low self esteem and no confidence.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
I've been doing alot of thinking, lately, and I've come to realise just how flawed our board is or has become. In regards to a recent thread that I posted about a girl I was still in love with, it became apparent that many on here are bitter and have no concept of what "love" is.

Wrong. Its only of recent times the board has been filled with an influx of "love" and what "love" is. When it first started the notion would have been laughed off the board. Self improvement and how to acquire snatch is where it was. "Love" was a meaningless byproduct of what any tool can "think" he has after hes mastered the first 2 goals (if he was so inclined) of what this board primarily is for. In short it has no place and is irrelevant.

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian

Everyone who is on this board is here because at some point they got burned really bad by a woman, or for many, burned by several women. A huge bias has formed concerning women and how they are all slvts and can't be trusted...etc...

I can honestly say I've never been burnt by a b!tch, even back in my AFC days, but being burnt and understanding the nature of b!tches has no connection and wouldnt make a lick of difference even if most guys here have been burnt. Read this and this . See? big difference to understanding chicks and confusing understanding them with being "bitter" There are 2 camps as I see it, You either see those 2 posts and think "bitter" (product of AFC brainwashing) or you see those 2 posts and think "these guys get it", thoughts of "woman hating" dont even enter his mind. Would you get angry at a cat for scratching your furniture? Only a retard would stay angry at the cat, someone who has a clue would simply understand its in its nature.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian


It is your fault that she messed around, or flaked on you, or tried to lead you on.

Absolutely agree.

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian

Let's stop with the woman-hating mysogony that runs rampant on these boards.

Lets stop confusing the nature of women and discussion about them with "woman hating mysogony", I very much doubt a true to life woman hater would even want to post here. By continually screaming "woman hater" your halting the process of guys truly understanding chicks.