The better looking you are, the more you're expected to take the lead.

[lakeshore]

I really do think that the hotter a person is, guy or girl, the more they
need to step up and lead the hooking up process.

The person less good looking will always be more passive as they see themselves as in a more inferior position. They will look for you/her to come to them/you.

So from our perspective (men) here is my point:

Some of us are pretty good looking and forget the power we have. We think the slightest bit of perceived rejection is the end. Not true, a lot of the time its just the girl not believing you really like her and only want to use her. Shyness is also a big factor that we as men fail to see. Girls have soooo much more to lose in the sex game so they will always be apprehensive if they are worth being with.

If you're decent looking, be persistent. It pays.

 

[lakeshore]

So you can't be average looking and take the lead?

Sure, of course you can. But this thread is to remind some guys of the power they have and forget to use.

 

[(JJ)]

it's funny you mention this because i was just thinking the other day that if i wasnt as good looking as i am, then i'd have a hard time getting girls. i base my game around them trying to "get" me. ie, THEY have to initiate anything past the first or second conversation. if they don't i perceive them as not being interested enough to even attempt to hook up with. the thing is though, there's enough that find me attractive enough that they're willing to work like that for me that i don't have any problem staying occupied

i think you may just be over generalizing here...

 

[thecurtainfalls]

What is with these sh!t responses? lakeshore has an excellent point. San Jose, try using your brain before you post, nice slippery slope generalization in your first post.

Any guys in here that are considered nice looking (8+ no h0mo) are already aware of this by now due to their past dealings with women, and for them this point should not be overstated. It has been hard for me to grasp in the past that girls were actually intimidated by me because I came from a background of introversion/low confidence.

These days the crux of my game is being very assertive / masculine and taking the lead in my interactions with girls. It's a direct response to the fact that I have been way too passive in the past, and although it has worked a lot better overall, I do find sometimes that girls get a little shell shocked at first, especially the shyer ones. This is why it's important to base your game on inner confidence and NOT rely on minute or esoteric indicators of interest to determine your actions. Girls react in a million different ways to a million different things. A very wise poster (Victory Unlimited) once said that if you've spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what a girl's thinking, you've spent 4 minutes too long.

That's why in cases like the topic the OP is talking about, I use only very general IOI's like kino and proximity, and if those are in place, I could care less about trying to be 100% certain she's into me before escalating, because she could be acting shy, aloof, reserved, or anything else, but inside is screaming "please make a move".

Reps to OP.

 

[lakeshore]

A very wise poster (Victory Unlimited) once said that if you've spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what a girl's thinking, you've spent 4 minutes too long.

I like that, and too often forget to practice this simple rule.

That's why in cases like the topic the OP is talking about, I use only very general IOI's like kino and proximity, and if those are in place, I could care less about trying to be 100% certain she's into me before escalating, because she could be acting shy, aloof, reserved, or anything else, but inside is screaming "please make a move".

Reps to OP.

Thanks man, exactly. You said it right, sooo many times girls are SCREAMING inside make a move and get with me damn it!

 

[horaholic]

It has nothing to do with looks. This is a given for men in general, ugly OR hot. Less good looking guys need to take even MORE of an initiative. Post applies to every man. The looks part of this thread is totally irrelevant.

 

[cykeson]

I am one of the better looking men in my workplace. HOWEVER, i was humbled in an incident recently and can vouch that looks alone won't get you anywhere. Sure there's the initial liking, but in the long run you're just eye candy. Being good looking but not having the confidence to go with means SQUAT.

The key i realised is to believe and have confidence in your looks. Looks, are not the same as your face and body physique (although they are connected). It's the way you appear and carry yourself with it.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

People completely missing the point of the OP itt

 

[Dante420]

I am one of the better looking men in my workplace. HOWEVER, i was humbled in an incident recently and can vouch that looks alone won't get you anywhere. Sure there's the initial liking, but in the long run you're just eye candy. Being good looking but not having the confidence to go with means SQUAT.

The key i realised is to believe and have confidence in your looks. Looks, are not the same as your face and body physique (although they are connected). It's the way you appear and carry yourself with it.

this exactly.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Well, here we go again. Props to the OP for actually finding a somewhat new remark to make about looks, though.

I mean, it has of course been stated in the 85 page looks thread in the Archives section...but he makes an interesting point.

 

[Lexington]

I think it's the opposite. A friend of mine is really good looking....no homo. He ALWAYS gets approached. It's ridiculous. You won't believe some of the things that happen to this guy. His game is AWFUL, but he doesn't need it....he has a smile that makes all the girls' hearts just melt.

Anytime we're out, hot girls come up to him. He has no game whatsoever. He never pursues girls. He just allows them to pursue him. Sometimes, it's painfully obvious that a girl wants him and he does nothing. These practically tell him, "I want you to do do me!"

It's just ridiculous how easy it is for this guy to get laid. All he has to do is stand there and girls are just lining up to sleep with him. I've never seen hot girls be so aggressive in pursuing guys.

On the other hand, if you're average or less attractive, you simply have to work harder. It's like that in just about anything else in life. There are some folks who are more talented than others. Those of us that have less talent have to compensate by working harder.

If you're not very good looking, you're going to have to put in most of the work. You're going to have to initiate and you're the one who has to do most of the escalating too.

 

[Warrior74]

I think it's the opposite. A friend of mine is really good looking....no homo. He ALWAYS gets approached. It's ridiculous. You won't believe some of the things that happen to this guy. His game is AWFUL, but he doesn't need it....he has a smile that makes all the girls' hearts just melt.

Anytime we're out, hot girls come up to him. He has no game whatsoever. He never pursues girls. He just allows them to pursue him. Sometimes, it's painfully obvious that a girl wants him and he does nothing. These practically tell him, "I want you to do do me!"

It's just ridiculous how easy it is for this guy to get laid. All he has to do is stand there and girls are just lining up to sleep with him. I've never seen hot girls be so aggressive in pursuing guys.

On the other hand, if you're average or less attractive, you simply have to work harder. It's like that in just about anything else in life. There are some folks who are more talented than others. Those of us that have less talent have to compensate by working harder.

If you're not very good looking, you're going to have to put in most of the work. You're going to have to initiate and you're the one who has to do most of the escalating too.

I have a friend like that, we call him Kelso, to which he responds "WTF man, I don't look like Ashton Kutcher". No dumbass but you are about as dumb as Kelso. Dumb as rocks. He's got that glazed eye surfer boy look..but women line up to him like no tomorrow. He pulls hot ass, but it's also usually crazy hot ass. His life has more drama than Greek Tragedies.

 

[handle]

Interesting idea. As I made myself more attractive, got a better rep, etc, I was definitely more expected to take the lead.

I dunno though, I feel like we could extend this to "If they're even moderately attracted to you, you're expected to take the lead."