The beta male won tonight...

[In2theGame]

Yes, I'm embarrassed and shocked by my actions tonight. I always promote and give advice to be straight up and approach Women and I do practice what I preach however, It's that ONE that has me on the ropes. Fvck! The tight young blonde at the gym. Putting my ego aside and reaching out to the SoSuave church group.

Back story, noticed this chick months ago and definitely my type, Young, probably 23-25, 5' 7" with long blonde hair and a dynamite azz, You can see that azz from another planet. Anyway, I would check her out but she was always with some guy and most likely a dude she was dating but then I didn't see them together for a while and I started wondering if she isn't seeing him anymore. One day I saw her alone doing stretches and the gym was going to close in 15 minutes so I went over there and said "excuse me, Whats your name?" she told me her name and i followed with "Are you seeing anyone here?" and she said "uhhh yea?" I was confused because it sounded like she said yeah as a question? like she was confused in a way and it seemed like she was shocked I approached her in the first place. I responded with "Ok, It was nice to meet you though", she smiled and nervously put her headphones on. I chalked that one up to a strike out but 2 days after that, I was hitting dumbell presses and in she comes with her hair all done n sh*t, she usually wears a low nike hat but her hair was all down and I was like "eh, too bad but she's not interested"... She gets on the stairmill behind me and I feel like shes looking at me but I kept telling myself that she rejected me in a way and stop thinking about it. Once I was done, I moved to the other side of the gym to do cable crosses and 10 minutes later I look in the mirror and shes right behind me on the treadmill this time where we can clearly see each other. again, I chalk it up to me over thinking it.... Finally I move away from the mirror and 20 minutes later... I look over and she starts working out next to me. at this point I'm like...... WTF is going on now but I didn't pursue it further.

A few weeks went by and I see her with that dude again but this time I could tell the tension between them, kinda like she's annoyed or something however she caught me checking her out and she looked down and away. Fast forward to recent, She's been coming alone for a while now and I see some other dude trying ti kick it to her by working out with her but I keep catching her look my way. Last week we happened to work out next to each other but i could feel that we are both trying to avoid looking at each other, however in my mind im like "What a fvckin ass on her" lol! Anyway finally... Tonight, Im flirting with some chick who works out a lot and we trained a bit together as she actually competes professionally and In comes the blonde, With an unbelievable outfit lol I asked God "Why tease me like this!?" but kept on with my routine.... She spots me through the mirror and here she comes.... Starts working out extremely close to me but again... I keep thinking that im overthinking things and at one point I thought of saying something to her but she was looking down and away a lot. Finally.... I got on the treadmill and she gets on a few treadmills down from me. As i packed my sh*t up from the locker and headed out, I wanted to talk to her again but the beta male won! I felt like I wasn't sure of myself. Once I left, I felt pissed at myself for being such a pvssy.

Am I over thinking the signs here? When it comes to nightlife, I can pick up Hot Women with the best of them but I froze up in this situation. I've had girls come up to me and introduce themselves to me in the gym but they were usually older 30+. Should I go and re-do the approach one more time? Thoughts?

 

[Mazer]

Next time you walk by her, just say hey, how are you casually but keep it moving. She will either stop you by asking you how you are doing. If she does, then run game on her. If she doesn’t, then hit the weights and ignore.

 

[Spaz]

She'll show covert signs when she's ready to monkey branch - guaranteed.

Just be observant.

 

[Trump]

What the hell bro. Instead of “are you seeing anyone here?” Get her alone and ask her out.

“Would you like to grab a coffee after?”
“Want to grab a bite after?”
“Want to go dancing after?”
“Want to come to my place after?”

I swear tv and movies and Disney has messed men up. Ask her out.

 

[R.U.G.]

He's in NYC, the beta capital of the world. In addition, he's in a city where the egos of some women are astronomical; usually unjustified though. Anyways, back to the situation at hand. OP, did you need a hand written invitation from her to ask her to do something? She acted like a puppy dog for Christ's sake...

 

[PeasantPlayer]

He's in NYC, the beta capital of the world. In addition, he's in a city where the egos of some women are astronomical; usually unjustified though. Anyways, back to the situation at hand. OP, did you need a hand written invitation from her to ask her to do something? She acted like a puppy dog for Christ's sake...

LOL why do you say NY is the beta capitol of the world?

 

[R.U.G.]

LOL why do you say NY is the beta capitol of the world?

In general, that's what a lot of them are. You have two schools here at the clubs and bars.. Well, three. 1) men afraid of their own shadow, so they huddle in a section with the rest of the guys. 2) Aggressive men, or I guess alphas acting macho and will approach. If they get shot down, many turn them around and call the woman a ***** or hoe, then move on. 3), the guys who just are drinking, on their phone reading or watching the game and enjoying some down time. Should a woman show interest, he may entertain her or not. That's the choice. It's the IDGAF type of attitude all men should learn and strive for. It's a work in progress for most. At least, in time they learn if they exert themselves and try. We've all been there.

Type 1 = 92%
Type 2 = 5%
Type 3 = 3%

 

[PeasantPlayer]

In general, that's what a lot of them are. You have two schools here at the clubs and bars.. Well, three. 1) men afraid of their own shadow, so they huddle in a section with the rest of the guys. 2) Aggressive men, or I guess alphas acting macho and will approach. If they get shot down, many turn them around and call the woman a ***** or hoe, then move on. 3), the guys who just are drinking, on their phone reading or watching the game and enjoying some down time. Should a woman show interest, he may entertain her or not. That's the choice. It's the IDGAF type of attitude all men should learn and strive for. It's a work in progress for most. At least, in time they learn if they exert themselves and try. We've all been there.

Type 1 = 92%
Type 2 = 5%
Type 3 = 3%

Sounds like almost everywhere you go TBH. I asked cause I'm from Chicago and I remember growing up lots of people here calling New York dudes soft and corny

 

[Desdinova]

I went over there and said "excuse me, Whats your name?" she told me her name and i followed with "Are you seeing anyone here?" and she said "uhhh yea?" I was confused because it sounded like she said yeah as a question? like she was confused in a way and it seemed like she was shocked I approached her in the first place. I responded with "Ok, It was nice to meet you though", she smiled and nervously put her headphones on.

This is a woman you see there on a regular basis. NEVER start your conversation about her relationship status. That should not deter you from opening her, flirting with her, making her laugh, and building up some rapport. The fact that you see her there on a regular basis gives you an excellent opportunity to build strong rapport regardless of her relationship status.

Flirt with every woman regardless of their age or appearance. You broaden your appeal even to those you have not yet spoken to.

 

[lizardking82]

It seems to me she's showing you covert signs of "I want attention". Depends on what she wants it for. I think she is trynna provoke you to see if the "Ok, it was nice to meet you, though" cool, composed attitude was robotic game or real IDGAF attitude from your side. Now, there is no telling for sure what her intentions are, but she keeps checking you out means she's interested, women don't check anyone out continuously without being interested in sex. Be more fluent about the situation, you catch her looking at you, smile and proceed with the workout. This goes on one or two more times, go over to her and ask her out for a drink. You might get this pretty azz in bed sooner and easier than you think.

 

[marmel75]

Perfect time to tease her with "Hey, I know I'm a great looking guy but I'd appreciate if you stopped stalking me like this...I mean I don't want the other women in here to get jealous"

 

[The_411]

Marmel hit it on the head.

Just a friendly reminder .... assume a woman is into you until she shows you she isn’t.

 

[In2theGame]

Thanks for the input guys. I'm going to open up on her when I see her again. Fvck it!

 

[In2theGame]

No excuses, but I was surprised by my own hesitation to go and talk. Like I've mentioned in many other posts, I've gone into groups of Women to open up on the one I liked and pulled many beautiful Women but for some reason with this chick, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe the fact that this is a gym setting and if things get awkward, I have to see this chick all the time? but again that's an excuse. We'll see how it goes.

 

[marmel75]

No excuses, but I was surprised by my own hesitation to go and talk. Like I've mentioned in many other posts, I've gone into groups of Women to open up on the one I liked and pulled many beautiful Women but for some reason with this chick, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe the fact that this is a gym setting and if things get awkward, I have to see this chick all the time? but again that's an excuse. We'll see how it goes.

Just dont worry about any of this. Why would you assume things would go awkward?

 

[In2theGame]

^ This...



^ And this.


Nightclub situations require a much more direct approach because you're not likely going to see them again. It's kind of a one-shot deal. Your initial approach wasn't horrible, but you're treating it all like a nightclub scenario. This is more like social circle game. You're going to see her plenty. Rather than see this as a detriment if things get awkward, look at it as an advantage that gives you the luxury of time.

Regardless of her relationship status or what happened on that first approach, you can continue to befriend, chat, joke and even tease/playfully flirt with her. You don't have to go straight for the throat to get the number or date every single time you talk to her like you're never going to see her again. That's the only way it will really become awkward.

Just chip away with personality/charisma, and continue to feel it all out. Eventually you can just throw out another soft offer to grab drinks sometime. Even if she passes on the offer again, put it away, continue with the socializing and somewhere down the road throw out another soft offer. Sooner or later she is going to find herself in a situation where she thinks, "You know what, fvck it. I'm going to go have a drink with this guy. Why not.".

I like this and I admit in struggling in this department. My approaches are always super direct but I can't treat it like a bar or nightlife venue, that's why I guess i was hesitant. I'll look to implement this.

 

[In2theGame]

Just dont worry about any of this. Why would you assume things would go awkward?

Because knowing how young Woman can be with gossip, It's the last thing I want in a place I go to work out but then again, I'm probably overthinking it. Knowing I can't just go and approach like I would in the nightlife kind of threw me off and super direct is what i'm used to. I guess I can go super direct but it will definitely be different when executed in a gym environment compared to a lounge or bar.

 

[AttackFormation]

Because knowing how young Woman can be with gossip, It's the last thing I want in a place I go to work out

I see why you care and have been there myself, but I really don't see the point in caring about this. What's gonna happen? they're gonna know you're a warm blooded male. Ok, so? if other girls wanted you, they'll giggle and start flirting with you when they hear this assuming you simply chat to girls to gauge their interest and don't force contrived stuff through. And if they already weren't interested, there's no change. It really doesn't matter. Don't live your life by your fears of what other people will think.

 

[VladPatton]

This is weird. You DID approach, and she DID say she was seeing someone, so why beat yourself over it now? She loves the attention, bro. She shot you down, but LOVES the fact that a dude thinks she's attractive. They NEED that attention, even if they're a supermodel making 25 million a year just on looks alone. She could of easily just chatted you up about anything, since you broke the ice already, works out next to you, and catches you looking at her, but she chooses not to. A chick that likes you, or is cool and friendly will talk to you. She'd rather just relish in the gaze of her #1 fan at the gym. Experiment, and she if she'll start talking second time around. My bet is that she'll still be distant, just like before, but....you never know. Good luck.

 

[R.U.G.]

Sounds like almost everywhere you go TBH. I asked cause I'm from Chicago and I remember growing up lots of people here calling New York dudes soft and corny

Depends on where in NY. With all the gentrification in NYC, the betas are all over the place. I like Chicago. Reminds me of NYC before all of the soy boys. I miss the 90's