thefonz
Master Don Juan
I found myself getting lost in the whole self-improvement maze and feeling a little down and empty. I kept asking myself, how can I get people to do this or that? How can I make TRUE friends and not aquantances. I tried alot of the dj tactics like focus on your goals or practice ganji games. They worked but I just wasn't getting the connection with others I was looking for. . Maybe take up zen philosphies or something, the person who cares the least has the most power right? Well I started finding out that sometimes when you try not to care the other person will try not to care MORE, like a sick and twisted battle of apathy. I didn't like it.
Well a few days ago I had an epiphany in my relationships and it was so ****ing obvious I can't believe I was ignoring it. I was thinking back to my dj bootcamp experience and how during week 2 when I was starting my convos I got the best results from a store clerk I started a convo with and how in just talking for 7 minutes he offered me a free drink and half price on my items simply because I took the time out of my day to focus on HIM for a second. I talked about his son going to college, how he was struggling with his business etc. I didn't smile and nod or give off the 'appropriate body language'......I wasn't using him for my own needs or even trying to get anything out of him. For those 7 minutes I brought myself into his world. He smiled a huge smile and said, "Please, come back soon!"
This was an important skill I was unconsicously neglecting cus I was ALWAYS so focused on ME. I noticed if I was busy doing something, out of the corner of my eye people I knew wouldn't stop to talk to me cus they saw it more as a chore than a delight. The most popular people I know are the ones who bring out the best in others, those are the people who are constantly flooded with cellphone calls or invitations to go out. They have people stopping them on the streets to say 'hi' and have there choice of who they want to hang out with. Hell, people pay hundreds of dollars for someone to listen to them talk so if you can develop this habit you'll see a drastic improvement in your social life. Stop thinking about how you look and what you're doing right or wrong and just LISTEN to them.
Field tested......and approved.
Well a few days ago I had an epiphany in my relationships and it was so ****ing obvious I can't believe I was ignoring it. I was thinking back to my dj bootcamp experience and how during week 2 when I was starting my convos I got the best results from a store clerk I started a convo with and how in just talking for 7 minutes he offered me a free drink and half price on my items simply because I took the time out of my day to focus on HIM for a second. I talked about his son going to college, how he was struggling with his business etc. I didn't smile and nod or give off the 'appropriate body language'......I wasn't using him for my own needs or even trying to get anything out of him. For those 7 minutes I brought myself into his world. He smiled a huge smile and said, "Please, come back soon!"
This was an important skill I was unconsicously neglecting cus I was ALWAYS so focused on ME. I noticed if I was busy doing something, out of the corner of my eye people I knew wouldn't stop to talk to me cus they saw it more as a chore than a delight. The most popular people I know are the ones who bring out the best in others, those are the people who are constantly flooded with cellphone calls or invitations to go out. They have people stopping them on the streets to say 'hi' and have there choice of who they want to hang out with. Hell, people pay hundreds of dollars for someone to listen to them talk so if you can develop this habit you'll see a drastic improvement in your social life. Stop thinking about how you look and what you're doing right or wrong and just LISTEN to them.
Field tested......and approved.