About 4 months ago I made my first post here. Before that I read some posts and some of the DJ Bible, but after the post I put a lot of effort into reading, studying, and trying to use the stuff I learned to meet women.
What I found out is that the advice on this site works very well for those who were already getting dates, but were blowing it by acting a certain way. My problems are not because I ever acted like an AFC - they are because for the past 8+ years (ever since i graduated high school) I've been doing cold approaches only. This is due to my major and my work experience, which is with all guys and just a handful of women.
The past 4 months were my last semester of grad school. I approached 12 women on campus, and about 25 or so at bars. That 12 sounds low, but then again my school wasn't that large. There were only a handful of opportunities I missed - for the most part I went for many more opportunities than I missed. It was a lot of fun, and I felt very much like I was making progress. Some of the situations where I went up to girls were pretty ballsy, and I surprised myself by being able to get the nerve to try it. I also felt like I was building momentum. Total, I got 3 phone numbers, and 1 date.
The girl I had the date with was incredibly good looking, one of the best looking girls I've seen in this city. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but she wasn't interested in going out again. It's been a few weeks since I got brushed off by her, and I'm still kicking myself over certain things (missed opportunities, etc.). Of course I should just forget about her, but with the really hot girls it takes time to forget them. I don't think you can replace a 9 with a 6 ... doesn't work that way. But, I did break a 2 year dateless spell, so that's pretty cool.
Reading some of the responses to other posts, I finally realized that so much of the advice on this site is based on insecurity. All this "nexting" nonsense just cause a girl doesn't give you a blow job in the first 5 minutes of talking to her ... it's ridiculous.
If you're just going for any old "HB5" then sure, "nexting" makes sense. I don't know about where you guys live, but I've lived in a few different cities in my life, and it is RARE to see very hot women all that often. Maybe 1 every couple of months, if you don't go to clubs and bars (you see a lot more there of course).
Also, this focus on younger women is pretty disturbing. I'm 26 and I already can't stand most girls in their early 20s ... I can't even imagine what you people in your late 30s find in common with young girls.
The best thing about this site is that it inspires you to go out there and TRY ANYTHING. You can only ever really learn through trial and error - no amount of reading posts on this site will ever make you anything more than a Keyboard DJ. The best post has been the Chancer post. Reading how some of those other guys changed their life around, along with the book recommendations, really helped me out.
So anyways, my days of hitting on girls on campus are over. Now its on to starting a career, working out, and back to bars and clubs, as well as trying to expand my social network by taking adult classes (cooking, stuff like that). I have a feeling it will work out better than school anyways (where a lot of the younger girls looked at me like I was an old man!)
Peace
What I found out is that the advice on this site works very well for those who were already getting dates, but were blowing it by acting a certain way. My problems are not because I ever acted like an AFC - they are because for the past 8+ years (ever since i graduated high school) I've been doing cold approaches only. This is due to my major and my work experience, which is with all guys and just a handful of women.
The past 4 months were my last semester of grad school. I approached 12 women on campus, and about 25 or so at bars. That 12 sounds low, but then again my school wasn't that large. There were only a handful of opportunities I missed - for the most part I went for many more opportunities than I missed. It was a lot of fun, and I felt very much like I was making progress. Some of the situations where I went up to girls were pretty ballsy, and I surprised myself by being able to get the nerve to try it. I also felt like I was building momentum. Total, I got 3 phone numbers, and 1 date.
The girl I had the date with was incredibly good looking, one of the best looking girls I've seen in this city. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but she wasn't interested in going out again. It's been a few weeks since I got brushed off by her, and I'm still kicking myself over certain things (missed opportunities, etc.). Of course I should just forget about her, but with the really hot girls it takes time to forget them. I don't think you can replace a 9 with a 6 ... doesn't work that way. But, I did break a 2 year dateless spell, so that's pretty cool.
Reading some of the responses to other posts, I finally realized that so much of the advice on this site is based on insecurity. All this "nexting" nonsense just cause a girl doesn't give you a blow job in the first 5 minutes of talking to her ... it's ridiculous.
If you're just going for any old "HB5" then sure, "nexting" makes sense. I don't know about where you guys live, but I've lived in a few different cities in my life, and it is RARE to see very hot women all that often. Maybe 1 every couple of months, if you don't go to clubs and bars (you see a lot more there of course).
Also, this focus on younger women is pretty disturbing. I'm 26 and I already can't stand most girls in their early 20s ... I can't even imagine what you people in your late 30s find in common with young girls.
The best thing about this site is that it inspires you to go out there and TRY ANYTHING. You can only ever really learn through trial and error - no amount of reading posts on this site will ever make you anything more than a Keyboard DJ. The best post has been the Chancer post. Reading how some of those other guys changed their life around, along with the book recommendations, really helped me out.
So anyways, my days of hitting on girls on campus are over. Now its on to starting a career, working out, and back to bars and clubs, as well as trying to expand my social network by taking adult classes (cooking, stuff like that). I have a feeling it will work out better than school anyways (where a lot of the younger girls looked at me like I was an old man!)
Peace
