The bad walk home

nerozero

New Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2013
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Hi guys,

I am sure most of you have been here at one point walking home and thinking **** why didn't I do what i set out to do!?

I have been reading about pickup for near 5 years I am 25 years old and I consider my self above average looking but my self worth is 0 when I am out I literally feeze. Last year I slept with 4 girls which I was proud of but splitting with my girl about 3 months ago I can't find any motivation to go out, I am never in the mood. It's also worth mentioning I have pretty much never approached a girl sober and all my lays have been from social circle. I so want to be able to go to the club and be able to go talk to girls sober but I find it near impossible without getting drunk I have tried for a long time but I just can't get passed this.

Hopefully some of you guys have been in the same situation and have some tips as I am have just got back from the club dissapointed that I didnd't even approach a single a girl as I had set out to.

Thanks

L
 

MillionBillionaire

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2013
Messages
959
Reaction score
451
Age
39
Location
Minnesota
Just talk to the pretty girl at Subway making your sandwich about her day. See if you can get her to tell her other co-worker to take a hike and go on break.

I think there is a problem to ... "Alright I'mma find me a hot chick and score." mentality...
 

Tomo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2013
Messages
247
Reaction score
24
I have a different take. Firstly you consider your self worth to be 0 and that you can only score girls in clubs while I presume drunk? That is the first part we have to fix and coincedentally when you fix this, other areas in your life regarding woman improve too.

I am a firm believer in you now firstly, putting more and more effort into your career, study and fitness all the while picking up a hobby that requires human interaction. This will improve your drive (people will take notice compared to the laze about bum). The hobby will expand your social circle - this is essential if you want to meet and bang more woman due to being invited to more and more things. Funnily enough if you stop thinking ABOUT woman, woman seem to appear more often. Then it is about being prepared and risk yourself enough with all that improved self thought to actually use the skills you use here to land here.
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,783
Reaction score
404
First of all, don't focus just on conversations in the club. Grow a habit of making eye contact and starting little conversations with other people wherever you go. Not just with girls, also with some old man who's sitting next to you on the train, some guy who's standing next to you in the gym, some lady who's standing behind you at the supermarket etc. If you make a habit out of this, you will notice that it becomes easier to make eye contact and talk to girls in the club (and outside the club as well).


Now about your club game. You can't change yourself overnight and suddenly become the biggest player in the club, you must develop your skills step by step and accept that it takes time to grow. So set many smaller goals for yourself instead of setting one ENDGOAL for yourself. Each time you go out, instead of telling yourself: "I must score a chick tonight!", you come up with a smaller achievement. Gradually build up your skills by setting a different small achievement everytime you go out.

Here's a schedule I set up for myself in the past.

1. Say "hi"

Go out to the club and say "hi" to a girl and get a "hi" back from her. Actually, this is a bit too easy, so make that 10 girls! It's easy as hell, just stand at a spot where many people walk by and just say "hi" to every nice girl that walks by. If she doesn't respond, who cares. If she does respond, you now only have 9 to go :).

Just keep it at that. There is no need to get into a conversation with her after the "hi", she is allowed to walk further. You just want that "hi" from her and if you can do that with 10 girls a night, then you will go home happy and satisfied, coz you've succesfully achieved your first goal!!

2. Arm grabbing while saying "hi"

Next time you go out to the club, again get 10 girls to say "hi" back to you. Except this time, you add something to it. When she walks by, you grab her arm while you say "hi". Don't grab the upper part of her arm (above the elbow) but grab the lower part (between her hand and her elbow). Also, don't grab it with force, just put your hand on her arm and GENTLY stop her from walking, so you can say your "hi" and she can say it back.
Some girls may respond a bit hostile or just pull their arm away and walk on with an arrogant face. Who cares, you're not here to pick them up anyway. You're only here to reach your goal of the night, getting 10 girls to say "hi" back after you grab their arm and said "hi" to them.

Just like the first night, don't worry about what you have to do after saying "hi". You don't have to do sh!t, you don't have to talk to them or whatever. You can even tell them to walk on!! When you grab her arm and the two of you say "hi", she might stop and wait for you to continue the conversation. Then you just say: "Okay, walk on!" and she'll go her way. Yeah, she'll probably think you're weird, but who cares. You are there with a mission, you need to find another 9 girls to practise with, so this one must walk on.

3. Basic conversations

Go out to the club, grab their arm, say "hi" and start a basic conversation. Don't ask me how to start a basic conversation, you already know how to do that! You've been doing it since you were 2 years old, so no need to re-invent the wheel, lol...

Imagine you see one of your best pals in the club. You would walk up to him and start talking to him, right? But how do you do that, how do you come up with a topic to talk about, how do you know what to say to him? You just DO it, without thinking about it, it just comes to you naturally!
This shows that you already have plenty of conversational skills, man. But when you talk to a girl, those skills become blocked by your state of mind, because you feel uncomfortable/nervous.
So in order to have conversations with girls, you don't have to develop conversational skills, you already have those. You just need to make sure those skills don't get blocked by your state of mind! In other words, you need to feel comfortable while talking to girls, just like you're comfortable while talking to your pal.

That's what the first two nights were for. The first girl you say "hi" to probably makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps you'll feel like you just made a fool out of yourself... But after doing that to 10 girls, you'll probably feel a lot more comfortable! Then you add the arm grabbing with another 10 girls and after doing that you should feel pretty comfortable opening a girl in the club. If you don't, keep adding another 10 until you do feel comfortable with opening girls.

Once you feel comfortable opening them, the conversations will come naturally, trust me. From there on, it's your call. You can set new goals like asking her phone number, dancing with her, kiss closing her, whatever you prefer.


Good luck! :up:
 

gravityeyelids

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2013
Messages
918
Reaction score
192
Brack said:
Hey,I am here and i read out your post thoroughly about the bad walk home so i am agree with your
reviews.According to me that walking is the best source for keep good health and proper fitness of
the body.It is the best work for the lungs health.
Hello. I am abdul arique lafar. Prince of the small country of orwetin. You have been chosen to help us with a very inportant task. If you do this task you will be rewarded with 3 million in us dollars, wired straight to your bank account. All we ask of you is a $10,000 deposit to ensure this transaction goes through successfully and the money will be sent to you straight off. Please comnact me and I shall give you further instruction. God bless you and have many beautiful children and wifes.
 

Turuwal

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 17, 2012
Messages
240
Reaction score
18
It can be hard mate. But I can see that you have the correct attitude for self improvement. Just remember that everyone freezes up at times.

Here is my simple strategy that I used to bring myself back up to speed after the end of a five year relationship:
- eat well
- get plenty of sleep and rest
- exercise - weights and jogging outside
- say "hi" to everyone I meet while out jogging
- go out - alone or with friends
- try to get rejected

The point of saying "hi" to everyone is that each time you do it you are subconsciously and consciously improving your body language and mirroring to improve your response rate and quality. The point of trying to get rejected is to remove outcome dependence.

The immediate result of this strategy was sex with three girls within three months of the break up, one while I was still living in the same house as my ex!

The long-term result is that I now consider it a horrible failure if I b*tch out, and a massive success if I pull a totally stupid move and get rejected hard.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,417
Reaction score
288
Location
UK
There is no easy solution to this. You just have to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, step by step.

Set yourself a series of challenges. One night you must make and hold eye contact with women and exchange smiles. When this becomes comfortable and a habit, try a passing "hi" or "hey" and work from there.

This is what it all comes down to. The reason guys are afraid of interactions with women or get nervous is because they're not used to it. Once you build a familiarity with any habit, it becomes natural and makes the next step easier.

I've never been a fan of this idea of confronting your fears head on by rushing straight into cold approaches. If you're not comfortable with this, then your lack of confidence will show, you stand more chance of botching it and those experiences and rejections are only going to damage your confidence and make you more nervous in future.

Another thing that will help is creating your own self perception. Really spend time convincing yourself that you are a confident and charismatic man who women find irresistable. Step into the role and believe it and when you do, magical things start to happen.
 
Top