Props for resurrecting this thread. I was reading through some of the stories and felt commraderie with the guys here. Sometimes I think it's only me who has been disgraceful with women.
But since the ball is rolling, I'll share one of my own; a little more recent than I'd like to admit.
I have (
was) seeing this girl for most of the time I have been at sosuave...about 2 and a half years. Over the course of our long, tumultuous, disfunctional relationship, we probably seriously split up about half a dozen times, varying from lengths of a week to a couple of months. We stopped talking to each other at least two dozen more times, often for days or weeks.
This girl had a lot of potential, but our relationship was
very emotional. She also had a slew of issues. Past abuse, disconnected and disfunctional parents, a psychotic sister, stalkers, psychiatric issues, hospitalizations for said issues (yes, this is all true). Clearly i was dating a woman with
significant baggage. I loved her very, very much, but she continued to treat me with disregard. At times she could be the greatest girl to me: loving, sweet, respectful, intelligent...basically everything I wanted in a girl. We had common interests, very similar personalities (minus the bipolarity), and great physical attraction.
Good went to bad, bad went to worse, then back to good, and back to worse. While i certainly have my own share of AFC behavior to own up to, when i look back on it our relationship was characterized by a marked lack of respect on her part, and my continued tolerance and forgiveness of her behavior.
What bites me about it the most is that i couldnt walk away for good--no turning back. If i did walk away, i would later rescind upon it and try to patch things up, sort of like reverse buyer's remorse.
I tell you, I f*cking tried man. So many times. I couldnt do it. There is something uncanny about the difficulty men have in walking away from a woman they have emotionally invested in.
In my gut i know it is over now. The time has come. We had been long distance (i know) for the past 8 months or so. Which, by the way, is the worst possible arrangement for a man...but i digress. She pulls what she had been doing since day one-- vanishing from contact with no explaination for days. I should have walked; never spoken to her again. But instead, i text her with my angry ultimatum, she turns off her phone. Like a fool, i later rescinded on my terms and tried to apologize and mend the fence, but the damage was done. She said nothing to me. No call, no text, no email...and i did all of the above.
It feels good now that it is over. I think being long distance makes it easier to move on. It was a heavy relationship. We had talked about marriage, kids, the whole nine.
So there you have it, Colossus' skeletons are out of the closet. I may have been a DJ in other areas of my life, but not always with her. This is of course the condensed version of the story; there were
some bright spots in there.
On the positive side, the lessons and personal growth that have come out of this mess are invaluable. I can only wait for the distance to bring more clarity. There is some good inspiration in this thread. Perfect timing.
