Get more leads.
I am sure this has been written before, and I am also very certain that those of us in the mature forum have faced the dilemma time and time again. Being mature (I am past my mid 30’s) makes it harder to meet people. Many of our friends are married, others are stuck in an ‘I am old dude’ frame of mind, and many of us have jobs that do not enable us to socialize as much as we want to (not to mention working late hours). Entering an LTR is fatal – we subconsciously know that it will be harder to get out and meet people so we do not dare our lifeline.
Up until about 1-2 weeks ago I was seeing 3 girls at the same time (no commitment whatsoever). I have been seeing all of them for over a year, let’s call them girls A,B and C. I managed to stay with most the entire time, was seeing A most of the time, B on and off and C once every two weeks. However, I knew deep down inside that neither of them was the right girl for me and due to lack of time and insane working hours I just kept it going that way.
Girl B started pushing towards an LTR – I did not agree, so about 3-4 months ago she started dating someone else. She still came to see me every now and then for a quickie, but she noticed that I refused to commit and ended up moving in with the other guy.
Girl A started expecting a commitment, and I refused so she ended up ‘breaking up’ with me. This was the 3rd time we ‘broke up’ – but this time it came from her. I walked away in the past when she tried to push towards commitment but I always ended up dating her again.
Girl C is the easiest one of all since I see her 1-3 times a month so there is hardly any ‘relationship’ there.
So eventually when Girl A left me, I realized that I have no choice but to start playing the field, meeting new girls and moving on. I made a decision that I will not get in touch with Girl A before I date at least 5 girls since I know that my only motive for going back to her is laziness, or what is better known as the ‘comfort zone’.
When you are older it’s harder to make new friends, or meet new people. But I made a decision started going out and talking to people. The result: 3 new leads, a new ‘going out’ buddy and a bunch of new friends.
Always have more leads than you can handle.
I have been on this forum for a while now and noticed that all of the problems have one thing in common: guys start overanalyzing situations with girls – should I call her, text her, on what day etc.
The solution is simple, and don’t get me wrong – I go through the same issues every time I get back in the field – you just have to accumulate enough leads so that your thoughts won't be fixated on one individual girl. Some people need 2, others 3 – I find that having 5 leads at any given time releases me from over-philosophizing or getting into a oneitis situations.
I can hear those of you out there who claim there are exceptions – you went out there, got some digits, but out of all of your leads there is one who is the hottest, cutest, has the nicest ass, legs, breasts etc. What do you do?
You go out there and find another girl that looks like her and get the #. Never let yourself focus on one girl or else you will start philosophizing and picking up oneitis.
So whenever you are wondering if you should call her, why is she not calling you etc. do one simple thing : dress up, and get out. Go to the library, the coffee shop, the mall, the local pub – who cares – just get out and get some digits. Now you have to worry about who you are going to call first.
I am sure this has been written before, and I am also very certain that those of us in the mature forum have faced the dilemma time and time again. Being mature (I am past my mid 30’s) makes it harder to meet people. Many of our friends are married, others are stuck in an ‘I am old dude’ frame of mind, and many of us have jobs that do not enable us to socialize as much as we want to (not to mention working late hours). Entering an LTR is fatal – we subconsciously know that it will be harder to get out and meet people so we do not dare our lifeline.
Up until about 1-2 weeks ago I was seeing 3 girls at the same time (no commitment whatsoever). I have been seeing all of them for over a year, let’s call them girls A,B and C. I managed to stay with most the entire time, was seeing A most of the time, B on and off and C once every two weeks. However, I knew deep down inside that neither of them was the right girl for me and due to lack of time and insane working hours I just kept it going that way.
Girl B started pushing towards an LTR – I did not agree, so about 3-4 months ago she started dating someone else. She still came to see me every now and then for a quickie, but she noticed that I refused to commit and ended up moving in with the other guy.
Girl A started expecting a commitment, and I refused so she ended up ‘breaking up’ with me. This was the 3rd time we ‘broke up’ – but this time it came from her. I walked away in the past when she tried to push towards commitment but I always ended up dating her again.
Girl C is the easiest one of all since I see her 1-3 times a month so there is hardly any ‘relationship’ there.
So eventually when Girl A left me, I realized that I have no choice but to start playing the field, meeting new girls and moving on. I made a decision that I will not get in touch with Girl A before I date at least 5 girls since I know that my only motive for going back to her is laziness, or what is better known as the ‘comfort zone’.
When you are older it’s harder to make new friends, or meet new people. But I made a decision started going out and talking to people. The result: 3 new leads, a new ‘going out’ buddy and a bunch of new friends.
Always have more leads than you can handle.
I have been on this forum for a while now and noticed that all of the problems have one thing in common: guys start overanalyzing situations with girls – should I call her, text her, on what day etc.
The solution is simple, and don’t get me wrong – I go through the same issues every time I get back in the field – you just have to accumulate enough leads so that your thoughts won't be fixated on one individual girl. Some people need 2, others 3 – I find that having 5 leads at any given time releases me from over-philosophizing or getting into a oneitis situations.
I can hear those of you out there who claim there are exceptions – you went out there, got some digits, but out of all of your leads there is one who is the hottest, cutest, has the nicest ass, legs, breasts etc. What do you do?
You go out there and find another girl that looks like her and get the #. Never let yourself focus on one girl or else you will start philosophizing and picking up oneitis.
So whenever you are wondering if you should call her, why is she not calling you etc. do one simple thing : dress up, and get out. Go to the library, the coffee shop, the mall, the local pub – who cares – just get out and get some digits. Now you have to worry about who you are going to call first.
