The almost tragic truth about guys that end up being successful at cold approach.

[Jesse Pinkman]

Ever since getting into seriously daygaming more than a year ago and now looking to get back into it, I have noticed an almost tragic nature to cold approach and the people that usually get into it. After having winged with more than 10 different guys and seeing just how hopeless they were despite doing cold approach for a while, I realize that there is almost this tragic characteristic most of us do not notice about cold approach at first.

Why the vast majority of dudes who get into pickup and do "game sessions" are helpless.

I am ready to call out, most guys out there "sarging" are completely screwed and won't see serious success with women. The ones who go out every weekend to do "daygame sessions" are not going to see actual success (lays) from daygame for one reason. Most of them missed a critical step in their social development and it shows. It shows in how they come off to others, to the general public, and even to any socially adjusted guy. It does not matter what "game technique" they use or how many approaches they do, they are screwed and for them to continue to "cold approach" is to their detriment.

It is to a point right now where after going through more than 10 wings, I am officially done meeting wings on a pickup community. I could never introduce these guys to my normal friends because of how weird, strange, creepy, toxic, and low value they are. That is my point, you could not actually introduce these guys to someone who is cool with good social skills and especially not a hot girl and her friends because it would lower your value to do so!

Almost all of these guys have a major toxic trait to them that they are not even aware of. A lot of them, despite "taking action", come off in such a way that any socially adjusted person would want to run away from. These guys are a net drain to the people around them and almost all women instinctively pick this out. I can go more in-depth about some toxic traits I have noticed but it is safe to say that these men are toxic and missing key steps in their social development.

This applies to about 90% of dudes who get into PUA and go out "sarging".

This is why you have guys that do 100s of approaches but get no lays and have little to show for it, there are key things missing in their social development.

A socially adjusted guy won't have these issues but then again, socially adjusted guys rarely go into cold approach.

In most cases, a socially adjusted guy already made his friends in high school and college. Most of the times, socially adjusted guys are happy with an LTR and a loving girlfriend. Socially adjusted men end up meeting a girl through their friends or their circles and they end up with her long-term. Most of these men do not really have the need to get laid a lot because to them, an LTR is more satisfying.

So what guys actually end up being successful at cold approach?

If there is one thing I have found in guys that ended up being successful with cold approach to where they regularly got laid off of it, it is the fact that they were actually socially adjusted guys that happened to hit a rough patch at some point in life. Like these guys could have easily been the popular kid in school but some bizarre circumstance in their life happened which stopped them from even having a chance. Maybe they were home schooled, their parents were divorcing so their life took a hit, or they had a major thing happened that prevented them from happily socializing.

All the building blocks are already there. You can sit down, talk to these guys like normal people, and they can also relate to strangers in general in a way that most men that do cold approach cannot. Women pick up on this almost instinctively which is why these guys actually end up seeing lays from daygame and nightgame when they cold approach.

You can introduce these guys to your normal friends and hot girls you know and it will either be neutral to your status or elevate it. The only thing that was different for these guys compared to a Socially Adjusted guy is that they happened to fall into a tough time which stopped them from reaching their social potential but all the building blocks were there.

So what can the typical PUA student actually do?

I think most guys who get into Pickup should avoid cold approach at the start. These guys are better off learning how to socialize and connect with people. A lot of these guys can benefit from social hobbies that are more focused on social interactions but not necessarily getting laid. They are better off learning what is socially strange and off putting and what is desirable behavior.

Unfortunately, after a certain age, this becomes a lot tougher to learn. After 30 in most cases, men get so set in their ways that they cannot learn this.

If most guys spent a couple of years learning how to make small talk, socially connect with people, and how to make friends, they would have a better foundation for PUA and game actually not come off as weird, awkward, or strange when talking to women in public.

 

[NealIRC]

It's never happened in my life where a guy or girl, introduced me to a single girl.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

It's never happened in my life where a guy or girl, introduced me to a single girl.

It rarely does, which is the beauty of cold approach. At the same time, in order to truly do cold approach well, I think most guys need actually learn social skills.

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

It's never happened in my life where a guy or girl, introduced me to a single girl.

Oh it has happened. The major difference now is that they introduce me to the unfvckables that are 30+, set in their ways, damaged goods, have accomplished fock all in life and sit on their fat asses continuing to get chunkier while mouthing off more obnoxiously. Point and laugh.

You need to get that confidence down pat like Jesse P said thru that social calibration up front if you want to make the cold approaching easier on yourself. And everything for that matter. Or you can do the head-in-ass foundation method like I did and go headfirst into sarging binges blindly a longass time ago as part of some 'challenges' that were passed down to me. The point is, you do you, even if it is uncomfortable. Because both foundations will still make for uncomfortable cold approaches early on. Get outside of your own skin and your comfort zone. I got to the point where I didn't give a damn about the rejections...but I learned from them. I would just mentally tell myself after a rejection: "Thanks for playing." Breathe in, exhale through your nostrils, mouth closed, retain your composure and move along. Don't skip the part about learning from the social cues that are thrown at you verbally and non-verbally. That's why some post up those interactions for the feedback. If not, you'll be doing the shock & awe opener with serial killer vibes every approach wondering WTF went wrong--and no, you shouldn't always be using that particular opener LMFAO...just an example bruh---

Neal: Hey what's up? (wide-eyed stare, monotone voice, sweating ballz *indoors*)
4ThatThinksShe'sA9: oh just dying of heat today, its summer ya know?!
Neal: That's cool. What are you doing later? (wide-eyed stare, monotone voice, sweating ballz)
4ThatThinksShe'sA9: bumping a line of coke off GigaChad's ass.
Neal: Wanna come home with me? (wide-eyed stare, monotone voice, sweating ballz uncontrollably, likely physically trembling by now)
4ThatThinksShe'sA9: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (She then proceeds to mace you in the face and kick you in the ballz)

I started out with daygame as my preference bc I wasn't legally able to drink in bars and clubs yet. I didn't do it on weekends, but during weekdays---daytime and evenings. City and suburban streets, malls, shops, wherever I found me a "target rich" environment. The streets will teach. Best believe it.

And then one day I went to college, was introduced to nightgame thru off-campus partying w/different social groups I was a part of way back. It was like night & day, pun well intended. With or without alcohol in me or the hoes, pvssy was practically falling out the sky. One night stands (ONS) and LTR's bruh. IOIs at the parties and on campus whenever they ran into me in the daytime LMAO... All that prior daygaming in field experience made me Jonny on the SPOT. Then I turned 21...holy sh1t. I went out SOLO nightgaming at the bars downtown. HA. No hesitation, no give a damn. I was opening sets of 2, 3, 4 women at a time. Holding my own, building up the confidence yet again with a little added liquid courage. The shyt I never got to use daygaming. Did I go downtown with the boys? Yeah, but we would just drink, talk and fvckoff. We were there for a good time, not a long time.

Fast fwd, do I miss it? Not at all. I had a list of goals I made up as a kid that I kept chasing after. The 10 years after college were the ones that felt like I lived an entire lifetime. I can run cold approach day or night, no alcohol necessary. Same with starting up conversations with strangers--chicks or cool dudes I run into. I'm just more socially calibrated than ever. You have to keep challenging yourself and all this stuff becomes trivial. I remember the first time I successfully squatted 405 lbs., it takes guts, especially after failing it a few times the year leading up to it and being much scrawnier back then. Keep doing stuff like that and accomplishing your goals small, medium, large, short-term, mid-term, long-term and you'll have a healthier outlook on all. I have a new set of goals myself. Physically, financially, moving house, etc. keeping me focused AF. Don't be afraid to say NO and turn your back on some of these chickenheads out there, bc a lot of them are just taking simps who haven't learned a damn thing on a joyride and then pulling a 'Houdini' on them...

 

[NealIRC]

Oh it has happened. The major difference now is that they introduce me to the unfvckables that are 30+, set in their ways, damaged goods, have accomplished fock all in life and sit on their fat asses continuing to get chunkier while mouthing off more obnoxiously. Point and laugh.

You need to get that confidence down pat like Jesse P said thru that social calibration up front if you want to make the cold approaching easier on yourself. And everything for that matter. Or you can do the head-in-ass foundation method like I did and go headfirst into sarging binges blindly a longass time ago as part of some 'challenges' that were passed down to me. The point is, you do you, even if it is uncomfortable. Because both foundations will still make for uncomfortable cold approaches early on. Get outside of your own skin and your comfort zone. I got to the point where I didn't give a damn about the rejections...but I learned from them. I would just mentally tell myself after a rejection: "Thanks for playing." Breathe in, exhale through your nostrils, mouth closed, retain your composure and move along. Don't skip the part about learning from the social cues that are thrown at you verbally and non-verbally. That's why some post up those interactions for the feedback. If not, you'll be doing the shock & awe opener with serial killer vibes every approach wondering WTF went wrong--and no, you shouldn't always be using that particular opener LMFAO...just an example bruh---

Neal: Hey what's up? (wide-eyed stare, monotone voice, sweating ballz *indoors*)
4ThatThinksShe'sA9: oh just dying of heat today, its summer ya know?!
Neal: That's cool. What are you doing later? (wide-eyed stare, monotone voice, sweating ballz)
4ThatThinksShe'sA9: bumping a line of coke off GigaChad's ass.
Neal: Wanna come home with me? (wide-eyed stare, monotone voice, sweating ballz uncontrollably, likely physically trembling by now)
4ThatThinksShe'sA9: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (She then proceeds to mace you in the face and kick you in the ballz)

I started out with daygame as my preference bc I wasn't legally able to drink in bars and clubs yet. I didn't do it on weekends, but during weekdays---daytime and evenings. City and suburban streets, malls, shops, wherever I found me a "target rich" environment. The streets will teach. Best believe it.

And then one day I went to college, was introduced to nightgame thru off-campus partying w/different social groups I was a part of way back. It was like night & day, pun well intended. With or without alcohol in me or the hoes, pvssy was practically falling out the sky. One night stands (ONS) and LTR's bruh. IOIs at the parties and on campus whenever they ran into me in the daytime LMAO... All that prior daygaming in field experience made me Jonny on the SPOT. Then I turned 21...holy sh1t. I went out SOLO nightgaming at the bars downtown. HA. No hesitation, no give a damn. I was opening sets of 2, 3, 4 women at a time. Holding my own, building up the confidence yet again with a little added liquid courage. The shyt I never got to use daygaming. Did I go downtown with the boys? Yeah, but we would just drink, talk and fvckoff. We were there for a good time, not a long time.

Fast fwd, do I miss it? Not at all. I had a list of goals I made up as a kid that I kept chasing after. The 10 years after college were the ones that felt like I lived an entire lifetime. I can run cold approach day or night, no alcohol necessary. Same with starting up conversations with strangers--chicks or cool dudes I run into. I'm just more socially calibrated than ever. You have to keep challenging yourself and all this stuff becomes trivial. I remember the first time I successfully squatted 405 lbs., it takes guts, especially after failing it a few times the year leading up to it and being much scrawnier back then. Keep doing stuff like that and accomplishing your goals small, medium, large, short-term, mid-term, long-term and you'll have a healthier outlook on all. I have a new set of goals myself. Physically, financially, moving house, etc. keeping me focused AF. Don't be afraid to say NO and turn your back on some of these chickenheads out there, bc a lot of them are just taking simps who haven't learned a damn thing on a joyride and then pulling a 'Houdini' on them...

No. I approach girls. I'll use yesterday as an example, Chicago's gay parade. There was groups of women-only, I had to try to find a woman that was temporarily away from her group to try to hand her a pamphlet which they all denied. And not a single girl was solo. They all were in groups.

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

Chicago's gay.

Agreed.

There was groups of women-only
And not a single girl was solo. They all were in groups.

They were of the gay.

No. I approach girls. There was groups of women-only, I had to try to find a woman that was temporarily away from her group to try to hand her a pamphlet which they all denied.

This sounds like some possible serial K tactic. No more pamphlets for you. Go elsewhere and get some real YES/NO's under your belt by asking them directly with a number close at the end of the interaction. False time constraints, use a wing, come off as interesting and that you lead a solid ass life, even if you don't...yet. Fake it til you make it brah. Throw in a complement and don't go overboard with it, measure the reaction they give and work your charm. No more monotony. Be aggressive in life.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

If there is one thing I have found in guys that ended up being successful with cold approach to where they regularly got laid off of it, it is the fact that they were actually socially adjusted guys that happened to hit a rough patch at some point in life.

Yep this is key. A lot of guys who lean on "sarging" and day game still treat it like a math equation. 100 approaches = 20 numbers = 2 lays or whatever. They aren't using day to day interactions to calibrate their social skills, they're just going for a quota. If his social skills are off he won't see the nuance and variables and lack of logic in human behavior. The women they are approaching on balance socially adept, living moment to moment, and can sniff this stuff out in a heartbeat.

It's never happened in my life where a guy or girl, introduced me to a single girl.

That is too bad. Is something off? I don't mean that in a disparaging way.

 

[Gamisch]

I always say your best wing guy is a exact copy of yourself..a clone.

Most men are beta and bluepilled by heart. It takes a certain kind of men to;
- (spam) approach strangers
- reject a woman when she wants more than just sex
- spend time chasing women
-dgaf about rejection
- keep going until he catches a good fish



I agree that hardcore daygame is only for very few men. So by default these men will be "kinda odd " compared to other bluepilled men. Same feeling you get when dealing with criminals/hustlers.

As you know a good friend is rare. A good wingman is almost impossible to find ..so the chance that your good friend is also a good wingman is non existent somehow...

 

[IKO69]

It's never happened in my life where a guy or girl, introduced me to a single girl.

Did you have a tight circle? I have/had (many are married now) a close group of about 10 people (men & women) that would hang out 'n party at each others places. We would all introduce new people into the circle from time to time;this is how many of us hooked up.

 

[SW15]

Why the vast majority of dudes who get into pickup and do "game sessions" are helpless.

I am ready to call out, most guys out there "sarging" are completely screwed and won't see serious success with women. The ones who go out every weekend to do "daygame sessions" are not going to see actual success (lays) from daygame for one reason. Most of them missed a critical step in their social development and it shows. It shows in how they come off to others, to the general public, and even to any socially adjusted guy. It does not matter what "game technique" they use or how many approaches they do, they are screwed and for them to continue to "cold approach" is to their detriment.

This is why you have guys that do 100s of approaches but get no lays and have little to show for it, there are key things missing in their social development.

I agree with the main idea expressed here.

Many men who do "daygame sessions" are messed up in some way. With that said, randomly approaching women at malls, grocery stores, parks, or other typical daygame venues is a very challenging path. All of those approaches are low percentage plays, even for men who are socially well adjusted. There are good reasons why a man would end up doing approaches and some of that I'll detail below.

Approaching strangers randomly in non-bar venues is the romantic equivalent of cold calling for business development. Cold calling as a sales tactic has been discredited since the 1990s. Organizations that utilize cold calling in the 21st Century are often broken from both a sales and a marketing standpoint. With cold calling, there's no indication that the business is in the market for X product. At non-bar venues, there's no indication that any random woman is in the market for new penis. A lot of women at malls, grocery stores, and outdoors aren't open to fielding approaches for new penis because they already have a boyfriend or husband. A lot of these women give off body language so bad that they won't be approached by a man looking to do calibrated approaches (similar to how @Jesse Pinkman and I attempt to do non-bar approaches) but a spam daygamer would be more likely to approach them. There are spam daygamers out there, though they are rare because fewer men daygame now (a lot of men have saved their spamming for apps and social media DMs).

Approaching strangers in a bar venue is a little bit better of a play because in theory a woman is more likely to be seeking new penis at a bar than she would at the mall or grocery store. There's been discussion on this forum if that theory that women are more likely to be single at bars is valid in the real world. Even approaching strangers at bars is a difficult proposition.

A socially adjusted guy won't have these issues but then again, socially adjusted guys rarely go into cold approach.

In most cases, a socially adjusted guy already made his friends in high school and college. Most of the times, socially adjusted guys are happy with an LTR and a loving girlfriend. Socially adjusted men end up meeting a girl through their friends or their circles and they end up with her long-term. Most of these men do not really have the need to get laid a lot because to them, an LTR is more satisfying.

At any given time, the typical person is in some sort of relationship and not looking for new partners.

For the unattached men, the typical unattached guy isn't cold approaching as much anymore, if he is doing so at all.

Below of the typical ways unattached men have been meeting women 2013-present (since apps took off).

-Swipe apps
-Social media DMs
-Social circle
-Approaching at bars
-Co-ed sports leagues (typically for men 35 and under) or other activities

The typical unattached guy doesn't even try to approach on the general gym floor. The general gym floor is a daygame option, and a tough one at that due to earbuds. Typical unattached men aren't trying to approach at fitness classes, despite great ratios. Typical unattached men aren't trying to approach at indoor retail venues (malls, grocery stores, coffee shops, etc) or outdoors (high foot traffic streets, parks, walking/hiking paths).

So what guys actually end up being successful at cold approach?

If there is one thing I have found in guys that ended up being successful with cold approach to where they regularly got laid off of it, it is the fact that they were actually socially adjusted guys that happened to hit a rough patch at some point in life. Like these guys could have easily been the popular kid in school but some bizarre circumstance in their life happened which stopped them from even having a chance. Maybe they were home schooled, their parents were divorcing so their life took a hit, or they had a major thing happened that prevented them from happily socializing.

All the building blocks are already there. You can sit down, talk to these guys like normal people, and they can also relate to strangers in general in a way that most men that do cold approach cannot. Women pick up on this almost instinctively which is why these guys actually end up seeing lays from daygame and nightgame when they cold approach.

You can introduce these guys to your normal friends and hot girls you know and it will either be neutral to your status or elevate it. The only thing that was different for these guys compared to a Socially Adjusted guy is that they happened to fall into a tough time which stopped them from reaching their social potential but all the building blocks were there.

There are socially well adjusted men doing both non-bar approaches and bar approaches. These men typically have experienced at least one of the following.

-Relocation. Relocation weakens social circles. If they relocated as children, they likely didn't have a good social circle growing up. If they relocated to a new city as an adult, they will also have a weaker social circle. Some men have experienced both childhood and adulthood relocations. A lot of transplanted adults don't have the social circles needed to arrange dates from a social circle, nor are they capable of putting together such a social circle at the current time in their lives. In most larger cities, the swipe apps are filled with adult transplants with weak social circles. This also happens in nightlife venues to a lesser extent.

A man who relocates to a new city at age 30 as an unattached man is going to either end up relying on tech-based date arranging methods or he's going to have to approach strangers in-person for dates. While it's possible for a man to make friends in a new city at 30, he's not likely going to get into any meaningful social circle that would be capable of arranging first dates for him.

-Not being married or in a serious LTR after age 30: Men who find themselves unattached after their 30th birthdays find themselves in some challenging situations. Most social circles are filled with couples at this point. Both men who have married & divorced and men who have had multiple failed non-marital relationships will be oddities among people they know, especially if they are older and childless. This is changing a little bit with more 1980s born Millennials turning 40 without children, but it's still a different path in life. This older unattached man likely has no social circle options (possibly due to relocation) and has to rely upon either approaching strangers, sending DMs, or swiping on apps.

I must note that it is possible for both socially well adjusted men and not socially adjusted men to have experienced what I have described above. It is also possible for a man to have "normie" friends and just not have the social circle options, which is more likely if he's a 30+ childless single.

So what can the typical PUA student actually do?

I think most guys who get into Pickup should avoid cold approach at the start. These guys are better off learning how to socialize and connect with people. A lot of these guys can benefit from social hobbies that are more focused on social interactions but not necessarily getting laid. They are better off learning what is socially strange and off putting and what is desirable behavior.

Unfortunately, after a certain age, this becomes a lot tougher to learn. After 30 in most cases, men get so set in their ways that they cannot learn this.

If most guys spent a couple of years learning how to make small talk, socially connect with people, and how to make friends, they would have a better foundation for PUA and game actually not come off as weird, awkward, or strange when talking to women in public.

The typical unattached guy will not become a PUA student. The typical unattached guy going to the internet for advice will end up getting some blue pill advice. PUA is a red pill niche.

Most men can't afford to spend 2-3 years out of attraction-seduction to learn social skills. They have immediate sexual urgency. Learning social skills is something better done prior to puberty or maybe in the early stages of puberty in high school at the latest. By adulthood, sexual urgency is too high to try to learn social fundamentals without causing serious emotional pain.

 

[Solomon]

I've gone out in the past with a few guys from here and even met an RSD pick-up guy
The RSD guy was the best guy I saw infield regarding pull rate he was 5'5, 140 pounds
But was fearless
The problem? the guy would approach anything and everything
Even women he wasn't attracted too
I remember once him approaching a woman and she could tell off the bat, he wasn't attracted to her, and called him out
He was trying to lie that he was but it was obvious from his body language. Going out with him was fun at first but all he cared about was hitting up "Set after set after set" while at times I wanted to socialize. The guy only went out to approach women and when we "Burned a venue down" he wanted to go somewhere else. I realize at one point I was like that too (back in 2008-2010) but I grew out of it Thank God

I haven't gone out with a community guy in nearly 10 years and don't plan to unless you have a VIP connection or boat/yacht connection I can't be bothered at my old age to hit up "Set after set after set"

 

[SW15]

I agree that hardcore daygame is only for very few men. So by default these men will be "kinda odd " compared to other bluepilled men. Same feeling you get when dealing with criminals/hustlers.

Think about the 1970s-early 2000s. That's the era after the Sexual Revolution, mostly pre-internet, and the early days of the internet. In those days, few men were daygamers. Daygame as whole has fallen off a bit from even 20 years ago.

The tech-based methods of arranging dates have affected nightlife venue approaching in the last 20 years more so than it has affected daygame. That's because most men weren't daygaming in 1990-2003.

For men without social circles, the action has shifted more from nightlife approaching to tech-based approaching. Daygame was a niche in 2003 and it's an even smaller niche in 2023.

A lot of guys who lean on "sarging" and day game still treat it like a math equation. 100 approaches = 20 numbers = 2 lays or whatever. They aren't using day to day interactions to calibrate their social skills, they're just going for a quota. If his social skills are off he won't see the nuance and variables and lack of logic in human behavior. The women they are approaching on balance socially adept, living moment to moment, and can sniff this stuff out in a heartbeat.

True

 

[CornbreadFed]

Approaching strangers randomly in non-bar venues is the romantic equivalent of cold calling for business development. Cold calling as a sales tactic has been discredited since the 1990s. Organizations that utilize cold calling in the 21st Century are often broken from both a sales and a marketing standpoint. With cold calling, there's no indication that the business is in the market for X product. At non-bar venues, there's no indication that any random woman is in the market for new penis. A lot of women at malls, grocery stores, and outdoors aren't open to fielding approaches for new penis because they already have a boyfriend or husband. A lot of these women give off body language so bad that they won't be approached by a man looking to do calibrated approaches (similar to how @Jesse Pinkman and I attempt to do non-bar approaches) but a spam daygamer would be more likely to approach them. There are spam daygamers out there, though they are rare because fewer men daygame now (a lot of men have saved their spamming for apps and social media DMs).

90% of a time I think a hot girl is by herself, there's a guy that appears lol.

 

[Mike32ct]

90% of a time I think a hot girl is by herself, there's a guy that appears lol.

Before dating apps, there were some legit “lone wolf” women you could meet. Now, many are waiting for their dates to show up.

 

[SW15]

90% of a time I think a hot girl is by herself, there's a guy that appears lol.

That hasn't been my experience. There have been times I have seen a woman alone in a grocery store and then a guy appears (boyfriend or husband) prior to my approach. I end up not making the approach in that situation and breathe a sigh of relief.

Before dating apps, there were some legit “lone wolf” women you could meet. Now, many are waiting for their dates to show up.

"Lone wolf" women are rare in nightlife venues and were rare in nightlife venues from the 1970s-early 2000s. Women typically go out to bars with other women when they are on the prowl.

When you talk about waiting for dates to show up, that is a typically a bar or restaurant thing.

It's normal to find women isolated in a grocery store, bookstore, or even at a mall. The mall is more difficult because there are women who will go to the mall with 1-2 female friends as compared to the grocery store with 1-2 female friends. Fitness classes are often places where women show up alone and can be isolated in an approach easily. However, as I have mentioned before, women in general are not in a sociable mood before/after fitness classes despite the great ratios and lack of earbuds.

 

[NealIRC]

This sounds like some possible serial K tactic. No more pamphlets for you. Go elsewhere and get some real YES/NO's under your belt by asking them directly with a number close at the end of the interaction. False time constraints, use a wing, come off as interesting and that you lead a solid ass life, even if you don't...yet. Fake it til you make it brah. Throw in a complement and don't go overboard with it, measure the reaction they give and work your charm. No more monotony. Be aggressive in life.

Not if the timeframe is a few seconds, then you can only attempt to hand them a pamphlet to see if they'll accept or not.

Remember, a girl could step away from her group for a few seconds and you have to try to hand her a pamphlet when none of her group would notice.

 

[Gamisch]

That hasn't been my experience. There have been times I have seen a woman alone in a grocery store and then a guy appears (boyfriend or husband) prior to my approach. I end up not making the approach in that situation and breathe a sigh of relief.



"Lone wolf" women are rare in nightlife venues and were rare in nightlife venues from the 1970s-early 2000s. Women typically go out to bars with other women when they are on the prowl.

When you talk about waiting for dates to show up, that is a typically a bar or restaurant thing.

It's normal to find women isolated in a grocery store, bookstore, or even at a mall. The mall is more difficult because there are women who will go to the mall with 1-2 female friends as compared to the grocery store with 1-2 female friends. Fitness classes are often places where women show up alone and can be isolated in an approach easily. However, as I have mentioned before, women in general are not in a sociable mood before/after fitness classes despite the great ratios and lack of earbuds.

One huge step is not wearing earplugs yourself. Gives a signal that at least you are open for conversation. Plus the generic edm music simply belongs to a gym.

And yeah, lone wolf women are extremely rare haha. Why would any woman go out alone when she can make a prolife in the morning and have a date in the evening? Hb2-hb10 can pull this off.

I've gone out in the past with a few guys from here and even met an RSD pick-up guy
The RSD guy was the best guy I saw infield regarding pull rate he was 5'5, 140 pounds
But was fearless
The problem? the guy would approach anything and everything
Even women he wasn't attracted too
I remember once him approaching a woman and she could tell off the bat, he wasn't attracted to her, and called him out
He was trying to lie that he was but it was obvious from his body language. Going out with him was fun at first but all he cared about was hitting up "Set after set after set" while at times I wanted to socialize. The guy only went out to approach women and when we "Burned a venue down" he wanted to go somewhere else. I realize at one point I was like that too (back in 2008-2010) but I grew out of it Thank God

I haven't gone out with a community guy in nearly 10 years and don't plan to unless you have a VIP connection or boat/yacht connection I can't be bothered at my old age to hit up "Set after set after set"

This is what I mean. Its cool to chase like crazy and it's better to have an active person than having a passive man on side. But sometimes you wanna chill, you like the DJ, or you feel like waiting for some time to see if new people will enter the party.

Most wingmans are obnoxious because they're either too passive or too aggressive. He also gotta match your SMV perfectly, so the two of you look like a dope,inviting duo. That's why I said a clone of your self would be perfect.

 

[corrector]

Most men can't afford to spend 2-3 years out of attraction-seduction to learn social skills. They have immediate sexual urgency. Learning social skills is something better done prior to puberty or maybe in the early stages of puberty in high school at the latest. By adulthood, sexual urgency is too high to try to learn social fundamentals without causing serious emotional pain.

At that point it's better to just go to another country where you don't need to have great social skills to meet women. Many people are going to other countries because they just see everything is just a bad deal in NA. They go to Columbia, Phillipeans, or some other country, find a traditional lady and marry her and either continue to live there (especially if they can work from home, and by extension anywhere in the world) and never have to deal with all of that BS here.

 

[IKO69]

One huge step is not wearing earplugs yourself. Gives a signal that at least you are open for conversation. Plus the generic edm music simply belongs to a gym.

And yeah, lone wolf women are extremely rare haha. Why would any woman go out alone when she can make a prolife in the morning and have a date in the evening? Hb2-hb10 can pull this off.

Yes, that matters. You have to look approachable - I don't think guys realize that in most cases a woman that perceives a man as attractive might be initially intimidated by him. She will assume he does well with women (on her level - whatever she views herself to be. or higher) and why would he like her. Open body language, looking pleasant, good eye contact (she has to know you are looking at her) all help in bringing out her interest.

I was reading your exchange with SW and while I agreed with a good amount of what he said, let's be real, we sometimes pile on the women too much and say it is because of this and that (something about their behavior) while ignoring the average guy doesn't really help himself. The average guy lacks imagination, does what everyone else is doing/can't think for himself (in short has no personality or a bland one), is unsure of himself around women and thinks he's largely undeserving. You can put the average guy into all the different venues, events, fitness classes with favorable ratios and of course it doesn't matter. A lot of them simply blend in with the furniture and you hardly notice them (due to their lack of presence). Put the right guy in those environments and he slays. Many men simply believe that women, especially attractive one's, are doing them a favor by giving them a chance. They have a poor estimation of themselves and it is no surprise why things don't work out. Even if there is initial interest, it's not long before it dissipates because why would someone (the woman in this case) feel attraction for someone that views himself as beneath her? Someone who will slavishly be at her every beck and call?

Jesse's post was good I thought. Just like a job needs certain skills/tools in order to be a success, cold approaching requires certain traits to be fruitful. Yes, some men are better primed to be successful at it than others. Good looks, charisma, chatty nature and wit help. Good looks are essential - because when it is successful the woman had wanted the man to approach anyway. At this point it is being able to have a conversation with another person - try to have them do most of the talking, ask about themselves etc.

 

[CornbreadFed]

At that point it's better to just go to another country where you don't need to have great social skills to meet women. Many people are going to other countries because they just see everything is just a bad deal in NA. They go to Columbia, Phillipeans, or some other country, find a traditional lady and marry her and either continue to live there (especially if they can work from home, and by extension anywhere in the world) and never have to deal with all of that BS here.

so basically, be a slave to another government and a woman?