Women usually go for the dj over the afc, it's a fact of life. But what do names like dj and afc really mean. Is it that afc's have never read this site, or been told the "secret" of what women want? No, some people are just natural afc's, much like some people are natural dj's. Some people can read this site, take the message to heart, and they'll still be an afc.
The afc's real problem isn't lack of knowledge, it's the fact that he is dependent on others. An afc doesn't go out and make friends, he waits for them to just appear. What friends the afc has, male or female, he's constantly trying to please. He won't take risks because he fears being rejected. He'll measure himself by how many women he's slept with. He'll become infatuated with a woman, even one well below his standards, because deep down he needs her. He doesn't think he can do better. And if his friends are busy, the afc will stay home alone, never venturing out to discover new friends and experiences. The afc dreams of finding true love someday.
The dj, on the other hand, is independent. He can make his own friends, and he doesn't have to worry about pleasing them. The dj won't "fall in love" at the drop of a hat, or try to justify himself to others by telling them all the women he's slept with. The dj doesn't dream about true love, he dreams about personal goals, things he wants for himself, not things he wants to show to others. He doesn't need a true love to be happy, the dj is happy with himself.
Obviously, the dj is much more fun to hang out with. The poor afc tries so hard, but has little success. What is the real reason for the afc's dependance?
LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Every mistake the afc makes boils down to lack of confidence in himself. Have you ever seen a dj get bullied, physically or mentally? No. You know why? Because the dj has some self confidence. He may be overmatched at times, he may get beaten up and pushed down, but the dj will always fight back. (I don't neccesarily mean fight in the physical sense, but if it comes down to it, the dj will defend himself.) Nobody wins every fight, sometimes you can't control the outcome. But if you let people walk all over you, that is 100% your fault. Bullies won't pick on people who fight back.
Back to the afc, he is finally on a date. He remembers everything he's read on this site. Everything seems fine. Then, all of the sudden, the woman tries to challenge him. The afc still remembers all of his dj tactics. He knows he cannot let the woman push him around, but he is afraid that he just can't get another woman of her caliber. Better just go along with what she says.
The afc's lack of confidence has ruined things again. He obviously could attract women, he was out on a date wasn't he? But he chalks that up to luck. I was lucky to have the chance he thinks, I should have been nicer or funnier or something. Really, he should have stood up for himself.
Don't get me wrong, all the tips on this website are great, but it can be done different ways. The one characteristic a dj absolutely has to have is confidence. Stylish clothes, fancy haircuts, and huge muscles don't equal confidence. Having these things is great, but have them because you want them, not because you need them to convince yourself you're a dj.
GAINING CONFIDENCE
Confidence is trusting in your abilities. When you do that is doesn't matter what other people think. Getting money, women, or fame won't bring confidence. These things may seem to bring confidence with them, but they just improve other people's views of who you are. Real confidence doesn't require "getting things". Because you are confident that you can, you don't have to prove it. If you aren't confident until you achieve something, you had to prove your abilities to yourself. This isn't the way to gain self confidence. You don't have to constantly prove yourself. Remember:
You can never be perfect, but you can never be a complete failure, either.
Don't always be negative
Don't assume your opinions are true. Just because you think you are ugly doesn't mean you are. There are people who look better than you and there are people who look worse.
Think about your strengths. Everyone is good at something.
Don't be afraid to take risks. In some situations, by not taking risks you are walking into failure. So what if the woman doesn't give you her number? If you don't ask you won't get it anyway.
There is always something to improve. Don't think you'll be happy once you attain a goal, if you aren't happy now you probably won't be happy then.
The afc's real problem isn't lack of knowledge, it's the fact that he is dependent on others. An afc doesn't go out and make friends, he waits for them to just appear. What friends the afc has, male or female, he's constantly trying to please. He won't take risks because he fears being rejected. He'll measure himself by how many women he's slept with. He'll become infatuated with a woman, even one well below his standards, because deep down he needs her. He doesn't think he can do better. And if his friends are busy, the afc will stay home alone, never venturing out to discover new friends and experiences. The afc dreams of finding true love someday.
The dj, on the other hand, is independent. He can make his own friends, and he doesn't have to worry about pleasing them. The dj won't "fall in love" at the drop of a hat, or try to justify himself to others by telling them all the women he's slept with. The dj doesn't dream about true love, he dreams about personal goals, things he wants for himself, not things he wants to show to others. He doesn't need a true love to be happy, the dj is happy with himself.
Obviously, the dj is much more fun to hang out with. The poor afc tries so hard, but has little success. What is the real reason for the afc's dependance?
LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Every mistake the afc makes boils down to lack of confidence in himself. Have you ever seen a dj get bullied, physically or mentally? No. You know why? Because the dj has some self confidence. He may be overmatched at times, he may get beaten up and pushed down, but the dj will always fight back. (I don't neccesarily mean fight in the physical sense, but if it comes down to it, the dj will defend himself.) Nobody wins every fight, sometimes you can't control the outcome. But if you let people walk all over you, that is 100% your fault. Bullies won't pick on people who fight back.
Back to the afc, he is finally on a date. He remembers everything he's read on this site. Everything seems fine. Then, all of the sudden, the woman tries to challenge him. The afc still remembers all of his dj tactics. He knows he cannot let the woman push him around, but he is afraid that he just can't get another woman of her caliber. Better just go along with what she says.
The afc's lack of confidence has ruined things again. He obviously could attract women, he was out on a date wasn't he? But he chalks that up to luck. I was lucky to have the chance he thinks, I should have been nicer or funnier or something. Really, he should have stood up for himself.
Don't get me wrong, all the tips on this website are great, but it can be done different ways. The one characteristic a dj absolutely has to have is confidence. Stylish clothes, fancy haircuts, and huge muscles don't equal confidence. Having these things is great, but have them because you want them, not because you need them to convince yourself you're a dj.
GAINING CONFIDENCE
Confidence is trusting in your abilities. When you do that is doesn't matter what other people think. Getting money, women, or fame won't bring confidence. These things may seem to bring confidence with them, but they just improve other people's views of who you are. Real confidence doesn't require "getting things". Because you are confident that you can, you don't have to prove it. If you aren't confident until you achieve something, you had to prove your abilities to yourself. This isn't the way to gain self confidence. You don't have to constantly prove yourself. Remember:
You can never be perfect, but you can never be a complete failure, either.
Don't always be negative
Don't assume your opinions are true. Just because you think you are ugly doesn't mean you are. There are people who look better than you and there are people who look worse.
Think about your strengths. Everyone is good at something.
Don't be afraid to take risks. In some situations, by not taking risks you are walking into failure. So what if the woman doesn't give you her number? If you don't ask you won't get it anyway.
There is always something to improve. Don't think you'll be happy once you attain a goal, if you aren't happy now you probably won't be happy then.
