The actual ways of getting rid of approach anxiety

[Mahmudul Hasan]

I used to have approach anxiety in past and I had used several hypnotic stuffs to reduce my approach anxiety but all of them turned out to be garbages. There are many mindset courses giving you reasons as to why you should not be afraid of approaching women and how we should not put women on pedastal but all the reasons were thrown out of window when I actually tried to approach because I still froze. There are many courses out there promoted in the way as if their method will make you super confident and you will never feel anxiety again but it doesn't work at all. There is no "x many steps to be confident with women"
I am going to tell you what actually worked for me but firstly in honor of mystery, I think his 3 seconds rule work but only in night game because in daygame it would take more than at least 10 for a girl to reach you or for you to reach her after the first sight.
The method which worked for me was asking random girls on street for time,direction etc because I knew that girls won't eat me alive for asking these things and these are 2 seconds of interaction so I didn't need to think about what to say or how to continue a conversation. I still felt the anxiety but it was less and I managed to ask girls these things then over time I started gaining comfort around women so I tried have longer conversations. If you feel a lot of anxiety before asking these things then practice on unknown guys first then try it on unknown girls. Imagining the process in my mind vividly also works kinda because according to some researches brain doesn't understand the difference between real experience and vivid imagination with sound,smell,feeling etc

 

[Mahmudul Hasan]

Instructions unclear.

I approached a girl on the street and imagined having a conversation with her. Didn't work; confidence ruined, approach anxiety increased.

Need further instruction.

Not mere imagination. It's similar to what's being said in psycho cybernetic. Imagination with feelings,sound,smell etc while having your eyes closed

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

short version:

In order to overcome approach anxiety talking to desirable women, train your ability by approaching non-desirable people (women and men) to ease off the pressure and have normal conversations before you move on to chatting up models.

 

[The Duke]

Practice Practice Practice. Approach and talk to everyone.

 

[crowolf]

The main thing that cured my “approach anxiety” was NoFap. You would naturally feel the urge to find a partner, especially after 2-3 months of retention.

 

[Mahmudul Hasan]

short version:

In order to overcome approach anxiety talking to desirable women, train your ability by approaching non-desirable people (women and men) to ease off the pressure and have normal conversations before you move on to chatting up models.

That is literally not close to what I have said

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That is literally not close to what I have said

But it works better than whatever you were rambling about.

 

[BPH]

short version:

In order to overcome approach anxiety talking to desirable women, train your ability by approaching non-desirable people (women and men) to ease off the pressure and have normal conversations before you move on to chatting up models.

I disagree with this. I think you should practice on your target audience.

But yeah just approach girls until you stop being weird about it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I disagree with this. I think you should practice on your target audience.

But yeah just approach girls until you stop being weird about it.

Of course you should aim high, but you cannot start running when you can't even stand.

Stand on two legs without aid and start walking with running in mind. That's how you get to be running before you know it.

 

[BPH]

Of course you should aim high, but you cannot start running when you can't even stand.

Stand on two legs without aid and start walking with running in mind. That's how you get to be running before you know it.

True in theory, but if you hit a winner I'd rather it be someone hot than someone ugly that I didn't expect to get a "yes" from.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Situational opening is always a good one for me. Today I left the office around 1:30. It was a beautiful day in the city. I walked from the east side of midtown to the World Trade Center. Took me about 90 minutes. The amount of good looking people out today was wild. I stopped in a Whole Foods to get a green juice. I am on phone with my boy. I see this cute 23ish girl nose ring working ther. I don’t even think I say to her “juice bar? She goes no we don’t have one. I’m like what am I supposed to do. She goes we have juice in the back on the wall. I forget exactly. But the moral of the story was it was funny at the time and if you can capture her facial attention for about five seconds warmly you are highly likely to have laid significant progress in rapport and you can be funny. I showed her the geeen juice on the way out. I’ll stop in there next week and ask her out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I have done similar on elevator. So there is this cute blonde in office. Walking into elevator lobby I get in same one as her. I go I cheated I let you do it. We have never spoken prior. Immediately the smile and the hair comes down you know the way it works. But it wasn’t exactly like that. It’s enough to be cute enough and get the facial and body rapport. It 70% or more of the communication. Best part I thought she was someone else

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

True in theory, but if you hit a winner I'd rather it be someone hot than someone ugly that I didn't expect to get a "yes" from.

We're not talking about you. We're talking about guys trying to hit on attractive women without the ability to even have a normal conversation with a woman.

I'm sure you didn't start out hitting on supermodels. We have a saying in the Netherlands about learning to ride a bike on an 'old bike' (op een ouwe fiets moet je 't leren), because you will mistakes when you learn anything new and you're most likely to wreck your first bicycle.

And with regards to getting a 'yes' from an 'ugly girl' I get a lot of IOI from unattractive women, I'm sure you do to, and I basically do the same as women do when they get hit on by unattractive men. "I'm sorry, but I'm not available."

Plus we men have the advantage over attractive women that it's unlikely when we reject a woman that she might become violent. Ask any woman why she cannot directly reject guys...

 

[BPH]

We're not talking about you. We're talking about guys trying to hit on attractive women without the ability to even have a normal conversation with a woman.

I'm sure you didn't start out hitting on supermodels.

No, but only because I didn't SEE any super models. I cataloged this in my journal; I got my start by cold approaching girls on the boardwalk at the beach, and girls at the mall. I ONLY approached girls I found attractive because THOSE are the ones that made me nervous.

I believe you should practice for the field you're playing on. The dynamic of hitting on an ugly girl and HOPING she rejects you so you can move on to "practice" more is very different than hitting on somebody you're attracted to where you hope the answer is "yes".

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No, but only because I didn't SEE any super models. I cataloged this in my journal; I got my start by cold approaching girls on the boardwalk at the beach, and girls at the mall. I ONLY approached girls I found attractive because THOSE are the ones that made me nervous.

These guys get nervous when they have to talk to a waitress. Their social inadequacy is incomparable to you, Slick Rick.

 

[BPH]

These guys get nervous when they have to talk to a waitress. Their social inadequacy is incomparable to you, Slick Rick.

Sure, but the way to get over that is by talking to hot girls, not ugly ones.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The only solution is to approach them the second your gut tells you to, usually in a 3-5 second window. There is nothing to it, you just have to do it.

Evolutionarily, there's very good reason for your anxiety, it's natural, so don't fight it, just roll with it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Sure, but the way to get over that is by talking to hot girls, not ugly ones.

Okay, you win.

 

[ABC123]

The thing that helped me the most was talking to everyone. The old lady at the grocery store, the guy that does ur car oil change (ask how to improve ur car just to get used to conversation), the hot girl in the elevator who works for RXO HQ and was smiling when you were talking to her but u was too much of a ***** to ask out.

After time, approach anxiety will go away because you're used to talk to strangers.

 

[ParkBenchRomance]

I used to have approach anxiety in past and I had used several hypnotic stuffs to reduce my approach anxiety but all of them turned out to be garbages. There are many mindset courses giving you reasons as to why you should not be afraid of approaching women and how we should not put women on pedastal but all the reasons were thrown out of window when I actually tried to approach because I still froze. There are many courses out there promoted in the way as if their method will make you super confident and you will never feel anxiety again but it doesn't work at all. There is no "x many steps to be confident with women"
I am going to tell you what actually worked for me but firstly in honor of mystery, I think his 3 seconds rule work but only in night game because in daygame it would take more than at least 10 for a girl to reach you or for you to reach her after the first sight.
The method which worked for me was asking random girls on street for time,direction etc because I knew that girls won't eat me alive for asking these things and these are 2 seconds of interaction so I didn't need to think about what to say or how to continue a conversation. I still felt the anxiety but it was less and I managed to ask girls these things then over time I started gaining comfort around women so I tried have longer conversations. If you feel a lot of anxiety before asking these things then practice on unknown guys first then try it on unknown girls. Imagining the process in my mind vividly also works kinda because according to some researches brain doesn't understand the difference between real experience and vivid imagination with sound,smell,feeling etc

The trick is to talk to more women, and more often. Once you're comfortable it won't even become a question