The 3-Month Guide to Getting a Girlfriend - What Question Would YOU Like Answered?

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey guys!

Okay, soooooo... those of you who have gone to my website recently know that I finally released a program on how to do online dating (and if you haven't, link is in my signature). The next thing I'm going to be putting out is a video course on how to make a woman your girlfriend in 3 months, from the time you meet her up until she becomes the girlfriend. I've used the same tactics successfully on quite a few different women, so I figured it would be of use to those of you struggling with keeping her interest beyond the first few dates.

I've already got the main parts of the program outlined, but I was curious to know what questions you guys may have as it pertains to dating a girl in the 1st 3 months and getting her to the point where she becomes the girlfriend. So, if you have any questions you'd like answered, please leave them on here or send me a private message. Yes, I will answer your question on here and will also include them as a bonus section in the video program. Thanks!

 

[JohnChops]

I don't understand the point of a built step by step program to dating, why can't it just be fun and unpredictable...

Man, some guys know how to suck the fun out of all things fun and make them dry.

 

[thunder_god]

Can you do a guide for flirting and building sexual attraction and tension? Perhaps a sexual innuendo guide of some sort?

 

[El Payaso]

It should happen organically. Not as a result of a well orchestrated master plan.

 

[Leif_Johnson]

A program for a relationship? This isn't a program to stop smoking or to learn a new language, this is about relationships that can't be used in a generic program. All men and women are different, it takes a different amount of time for a relationship to develop. If every relationship went by a step by step guide it would be totally boring. We are not all the same, your program will not work.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I don't understand the point of a built step by step program to dating, why can't it just be fun and unpredictable...

Man, some guys know how to suck the fun out of all things fun and make them dry.

It should happen organically. Not as a result of a well orchestrated master plan.

You guys ever watch Michael Jordon or Kobe Bryant or Lebron James play basketball? I'm not a sports fan myself but I do watch the finals, and these guys play like they've been playing since they were birthed out the womb. And no one would fault anyone for thinking this way about them - the way they move on the court is so effortless and smooth, and you can tell they're having a fun time playing a game they love.

BUT...

It's not like they picked up a ball one day and were just that good at it. In order to have it become "second nature" to them, they had to practice. Specifically: they had to get the fundamentals down. They had to first learn what a basketball was. Then, they had to have someone - either their fathers or their coaches (or both) - sit them down and go through the various steps of how the game is played: how to bounce the ball; how to move around the court; how to shoot the ball... and within each of these various things there were more intricacies to learn. For example, when learning to shoot the ball, you have to learn wrist movement, finger placement, the angle at which you need to launch the ball for higher probability of getting it into the hoop... the list of things goes on and on.

Once they had the knowledge of all these things, they then had to practice it over and over and over again, for YEARS, before they could finally get to a point in their basketball skill where it was "fun" and "organic."

And so it is with dating. Because the reality is, while most women are being bred since day 1 to be good at relationships, most guys don't even think about these things until we hit puberty - and by then, women have a 13+ year head start. And, as most guys on here can probably attest to, not being good with women is NOT fun. But part of being good at it is becoming comfortable with the various motions, verbal cues, and overall "language" of dating, and knowing what those things are.

Once a guy knows what things work, he can still benefit from a roadmap. Going back to the original analogy: having all these skill sets as a basketball player doesn't mean anything if you just go out on the court with your teammates and start playing. That's why you have coaches that put together various plays, i.e. step-by-step strategies, for the team to use: so they have the best chance at getting the ball into the net. Same goes with dating: you can know the skills of dating, but there ARE certain ways of doing things that are more successful than others. Something as simple as knowing why step 1 is to ask the girl out vs. thinking step 1 is to tell the girl you like her first (which usually won't get you the date) can be beneficial for a guy to know - and there are tons of other little steps that, when placed in the right order, can make HUGE differences in a guy's dating life.

And, once he's practiced these things enough, much like in the basketball example, it will go from feeling mechanical (because it's new) to feeling like second nature (because he's ingrained it in himself to where he no longer has to think about the moves, he just does them). So, that's the answer to the two questions above.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

A program for a relationship? This isn't a program to stop smoking or to learn a new language, this is about relationships that can't be used in a generic program. All men and women are different, it takes a different amount of time for a relationship to develop. If every relationship went by a step by step guide it would be totally boring. We are not all the same, your program will not work.

It's not a program for a relationship; it's a program to help men have the best chance at turning a girl they're asking out into a girlfriend within 3 months' time by doing the RIGHT things at the RIGHT times (along with other various). And, despite the fact that "all men and women are different," the reality is that we, as humans, respond to a HUGE amount of things similarly to one another. For example: loud noises tend to make most of us have a freaked out reaction; seeing someone with dilated pupils will make us either want to be more romantic with someone or care for them; when someone tells us not to do something most of us end up wanting to do that very same thing... and so on.

When it comes to women, despite each one being "different" - and I can't believe I have to explain this on these boards, where all we talk about is how they act the same - the reality is most women are easy to date because they are predicable in how they respond to things. Yes, I said "predictable" - once you've opened your eyes and start paying attention, it becomes really easy to figure out how to approach women, how to treat them, when to go at them hard and when to leave them alone, what their egos best respond to, why they say one thing but mean another... and this list is just a SMALL example of things that most women do.

As with any program, there will always be a small anomaly of women who may not act in the ways that I talk about; however, the stuff that will be in the program WILL work on the majority of women because most women respond to the same kinds of tactics. The procedures I'll be talking about in the program are the same ones I've used time and time again to score girlfriends - it's simple stuff, effective, and should have her asking YOU to be the girlfriend within 90 days - and a lot of it will be discussing the psychology of how and why this stuff works.

Lastly, I'm not completely surprised by the negativity of the suggestion of a program for getting a girlfriend on these boards. It's a shame that a person wants to put something out there to help guys out with their dating lives, and the response - without the program even being out - is "no, that won't work, how dare you put out a program about something that should just happen!" Like, do you guys even DO internet searches? There are guides about EVERYTHING out there. Some people are just naturals at whatever they're trying to do, but the majority of people have to LEARN a skill set to be good at it, thus needing a guide. So, there's no need for negativity - if you don't think it will work, don't buy it. The guide isn't for you. BUT, if you've heard my podcasts and read my various books and audio programs and have gotten positive dating results for it, you should know that (a) I don't put together junk, and (b) the knowledge you'll get from the program will be EXTREMELY valuable, and help you save time on trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.

ANYWAY... so, back to the original purpose of this post: if you have something you'd like discussed in the program I'm putting together, post it below or send me a message!

 

[salinechow]

Harry,
Thanks for trying man. I recently visted your website and listen to a few PodCasts at the suggestion of one of the members here. I appreciate your efforts. I especially like your post around here. Anyway...

My biggest stumbling block is texts. If a girl is texting rapidly for conversation I can manage ok. Quick on my feet, funny( although difficult in text messge especially with my personality) flirty etc.
However, first texts is a diffculty for me. Reopening after a hiatus is difficult for me. Editing so that I dont word puke is difficult for me. Things like that.

So in short. First text. Booking a date. Reopening old convos. (pssst. Thinking about texting my "oneitis" soon after almost 3 months NC.)

Thanks again.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Harry,
Thanks for trying man. I recently visted your website and listen to a few PodCasts at the suggestion of one of the members here. I appreciate your efforts. I especially like your post around here. Anyway...

My biggest stumbling block is texts. If a girl is texting rapidly for conversation I can manage ok. Quick on my feet, funny( although difficult in text messge especially with my personality) flirty etc.
However, first texts is a diffculty for me. Reopening after a hiatus is difficult for me. Editing so that I dont word puke is difficult for me. Things like that.

So in short. First text. Booking a date. Reopening old convos. (pssst. Thinking about texting my "oneitis" soon after almost 3 months NC.)

Thanks again.

Finally, some stuff I can answer!

First off, glad you checked out the podcasts! I really enjoy being able to dispense out advice 3 times a week about dating on things I wish I would have known back in the day when I was struggling with dating. (For the rest of you: they're FREE podcast, currently at #221 so lots of advice.)

In answer to your various information requests:

1. Don't know if you've heard my whole "Texting KILLS Relationships" mantra (that's a whole 'nother debate), but the main problem guys have with texting is that they think they need to actually be in text conversations with a woman at all times to keep her interest. You don't. In fact, you'd have better results with her if you weren't so easily available to message her at any given time a day. If you do decide to use texting, it should only be for one purpose: to set up a time to see her in person, be it for a date, hang out, hook up, whatever. If a girl is constantly hitting you up with text, you need to nip that in the bud very early in the relationship so it doesn't become a habit. Easiest way to do it: anytime she hits you up, hit her back with "hey, great hearing from you - I'm busy right now, but what are you doing later?" then schedule a meet up with her and say "great, see you then - okay, back to work!" and BOOM! She got contact from you, you got a date, and now you don't have to be stuck in text messaging Hell!

2. Booking a date should be done with a phone call or in-person. Texting is very impersonal, and her being able to hear/see how excited and confident you are when asking her out will definitely improve your chances at getting the date. I have a ton of info I'll be sharing about asking a girl out, but here's a tip that's golden for now: whatever you do, do NOT ask her where she wants to go. The girl wants YOU to plan the date; for best results, already have 3 to 5 places in town where you can take a girl on a first date so you won't have to think about it too hard when you ask her. Most girls don't actually care WHERE you take them; they are more interested in seeing what YOU come up with to try and impress them.

3. If your one-i-tis wasn't showing interest in you prior to NC, it's not worth it. After all, if she wanted something to pop off she would have hit you up by now. Heck, I have ex-girlfriends that continue to hit me up regularly just to say "hi" and see what's up. Chances are she probably didn't even notice, or just assumed you were busy. With that said: if you had expressed an interest in her before going NC, the best thing you could do (a) is wait for her to contact you, and (b) be actively going after other women.

As for re-opening old convos, I have found the best way to do it is indirectly. For example, you could either call them or send them a message and act like you meant to call/send it to someone else. When they pick up the phone, you'd say "hey, is this (name of person other than her);" when she says it's her, you'd be like "OOOH, my bad - I was trying to dial up so-and-so. Wow, it's been a while, how are you?" If you're sending a message, text something random like "so we're set for the game at 3, right?" when she responds back (probably with something like "what game?"), you'd respond with "...OOOH, my bad - meant to send this to so-and-so, how are you?"

Depending on how she responds to these "accidental" contacts will determine if the conversation continues afterward - but I've found it to be pretty effective when trying to re-establish contact with someone either you cut off or who cut you off. (Note: the direct route - calling/messaging them and saying "Hey I'd love to hear from you and/or catch up with you sometime" works also, but it works even better if YOU were the one that cut THEM off first.)

 

[Leif_Johnson]

It's not a program for a relationship; it's a program to help men have the best chance at turning a girl they're asking out into a girlfriend within 3 months' time by doing the RIGHT things at the RIGHT times (along with other various). And, despite the fact that "all men and women are different," the reality is that we, as humans, respond to a HUGE amount of things similarly to one another. For example: loud noises tend to make most of us have a freaked out reaction; seeing someone with dilated pupils will make us either want to be more romantic with someone or care for them; when someone tells us not to do something most of us end up wanting to do that very same thing... and so on.

When it comes to women, despite each one being "different" - and I can't believe I have to explain this on these boards, where all we talk about is how they act the same - the reality is most women are easy to date because they are predicable in how they respond to things. Yes, I said "predictable" - once you've opened your eyes and start paying attention, it becomes really easy to figure out how to approach women, how to treat them, when to go at them hard and when to leave them alone, what their egos best respond to, why they say one thing but mean another... and this list is just a SMALL example of things that most women do.

As with any program, there will always be a small anomaly of women who may not act in the ways that I talk about; however, the stuff that will be in the program WILL work on the majority of women because most women respond to the same kinds of tactics. The procedures I'll be talking about in the program are the same ones I've used time and time again to score girlfriends - it's simple stuff, effective, and should have her asking YOU to be the girlfriend within 90 days - and a lot of it will be discussing the psychology of how and why this stuff works.

Lastly, I'm not completely surprised by the negativity of the suggestion of a program for getting a girlfriend on these boards. It's a shame that a person wants to put something out there to help guys out with their dating lives, and the response - without the program even being out - is "no, that won't work, how dare you put out a program about something that should just happen!" Like, do you guys even DO internet searches? There are guides about EVERYTHING out there. Some people are just naturals at whatever they're trying to do, but the majority of people have to LEARN a skill set to be good at it, thus needing a guide. So, there's no need for negativity - if you don't think it will work, don't buy it. The guide isn't for you. BUT, if you've heard my podcasts and read my various books and audio programs and have gotten positive dating results for it, you should know that (a) I don't put together junk, and (b) the knowledge you'll get from the program will be EXTREMELY valuable, and help you save time on trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.

ANYWAY... so, back to the original purpose of this post: if you have something you'd like discussed in the program I'm putting together, post it below or send me a message!

Don't get hurt feelings about your program not being a big hit in this post. Who are you? I've never heard any of your podcats or read various books of yours.

What made you able to encounter relationships may not work for other men who have different personalities and are more or less successful than you are. Setting an X number of days to form a relationship is ridiculous when a relationship can form in any number of days. There is no time table on what number of days a relationship can form with a program.

I think this program can really mess with a guy's head if it doesn't work accordingly to your steps. Not every guy will have it running smoothly step by step like you expect. Relationships come naturally, not out of some program that you think will work for others.


Yes women are different and women are looking for different things. The women I've been meeting in the field recently are not looking for LTR's, they are looking for short term relationships or FWB's. Your program won't work on those women not looking for relationships.

What do you have to say about posters like Poon King who say relationships are not natural? What about men who are betas who are in LTR's? What about him saying women are unpredictable?

 

[Newby 15]

I had girlfriends before 3 months...to each his own I guess.

 

[El Payaso]

If you want to be of help to men, you should be teaching them various skills and help educate them about the true nature of women. You should be telling them things like pursuing their own educational, career or personal growth goals.

All this does is reinforce a pedestalization mindset in a lot of men that they need a girlfriend to feel complete.

 

[asa_don]

As with any program, there will always be a small anomaly of women who may not act in the ways that I talk about

are admitting your product might be a sham when all the men purchasing your program have women who may not act in the ways that you talk about?

what happens to the guys buying your program who have negative results with the women they are using it on?

Lastly, I'm not completely surprised by the negativity of the suggestion of a program for getting a girlfriend on these boards. It's a shame that a person wants to put something out there to help guys out with their dating lives, and the response - without the program even being out - is "no, that won't work, how dare you put out a program about something that should just happen!" Like, do you guys even DO internet searches? There are guides about EVERYTHING out there. Some people are just naturals at whatever they're trying to do, but the majority of people have to LEARN a skill set to be good at it, thus needing a guide. So, there's no need for negativity - if you don't think it will work, don't buy it.

harry, you always feign indignation when someone disagrees with your advice or criticizes one of your products, not everybody is going to want what you're trying to peddle in the forum, you're trying to make a buck off people, don't play the victim here, that's being a beta.

how come you only post here when you peddle a product or promote your podcasts?

let's say the program does work, if the dudes are relying on a guide to get a girlfriend, what are they going to do when they get in a relationship not knowing what to do? the relationship will fail, your guide will be a waste of time and money, what good is that?

 

[Bingo-Player]

When i first came here i found harrys posts quite intriguing and full of useful information

These days i feel he is like a pedantic salesman at my door, not so worried about offering quality advice but more making a hard sale

I cannot blame him for wanting to capitalize on his knowledge of women or wanting to create a stable income stream

However not everyone is as dumb as you would like to believe and sometimes a “one size fits all” approach to business doesn’t get the best results

 

[Soolaimon]

What a load of crap.

A video course is not going "make a woman your girlfriend".

There needs to be interest and attraction coming from the woman in order for that to happen.

If she isn't interested or attracted to the man she won't be the girlfriend no matter what you claim.

Getting men's hopes up for a girlfriend to make some money is not the way to go.

Just another guy with a gimmick looking for a few suckers.

Don't be one!

 

[December_in_NY_1978]

I don't believe anyone promising something in 90 days.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Considering that I've listened to many a pod cast without so much as saying "Thank you", it's time for me to chime in.

There's a lot of insight to Harry's theories. True, I don't necessarily agree with everything, but does a thinking person ever agree 100 % with all postings by any particular person?

The corner of the market that Harry covers better than any I've seen is his understanding of chick logic. This is delivered in "man speak" rather than in some feminized "male speak." Seems that most people that 'claim' to have a understanding, are usually the same ones that spend most of their time boasting - rather than offering true tips. In other words, he not only explains why certain actions by men backfire but also an understanding as to why and what goes in inside the woman's head.

I would not invest time or energy defending someone based on faith of their words. Truth is, many pitfalls he mentions are the very ones I experienced many years before he created his podcast's. I think it's great that his messages might prevent newbies from making similar mistakes.

Okay, just so it doesn't look like I'm kissing up, I gotta say that the woman that shares the podcast intro .... really does get on my nerves.

You also have to keep in mind that Harry seems to be appealing to a different crowd. Although I enjoy casual sex, I also like and (with the right woman) prefer a good relationship. Again, although I don't agree with everything, I can honestly say that I agree with over 95% of his material and have benefited as well.

When it comes to relationship material on line, it's usually slanted by woman mentality or through forums by passive and feminized persuaded men. So Suave is great for gaining confidence, understanding and stripping away a lot of the varnish. However, there's sometimes a bit of a herd (mob) opposing mentality by some members when it comes to those seeking relationship advice. There's great advice here, but sometimes we have to wade through the overused "your princess is in another mans castle" or "spin more plates" mentality.

 

[asa_don]

Okay, just so it doesn't look like I'm kissing up, I gotta say that the woman that shares the podcast intro .... really does get on my nerves.

well you certainly are doing a good job of it.

sometimes we have to wade through the overused "your princess is in another mans castle" or "spin more plates" mentality.

i've never seen you in this forum before.

The corner of the market that Harry covers better than any I've seen is his understanding of chick logic. This is delivered in "man speak" rather than in some feminized "male speak." Seems that most people that 'claim' to have a understanding, are usually the same ones that spend most of their time boasting - rather than offering true tips. In other words, he not only explains why certain actions by men backfire but also an understanding as to why and what goes in inside the woman's head.

is this you harry?

You also have to keep in mind that Harry seems to be appealing to a different crowd. Although I enjoy casual sex, I also like and (with the right woman) prefer a good relationship. Again, although I don't agree with everything, I can honestly say that I agree with over 95% of his material and have benefited as well.

is harry paying you for this wonderful review? usually yaboi or partizan goes around posting reviews or does his free advertising for him posting links to his site.

 

[Black Widow Void]

asa_don "i've never seen you in this forum before."

--- Your might do a search before alluding to certain claims (If you do a member search, you'll discover that I've been a member since 2010)


asa_don - "is this you harry?"

--- See my above response. No offense, but Your unfounded combativeness reminds me of conversations with women that are in need of a little drama. Unlike the typical man, your energy efforts offered nothing constructive, or beneficial. Hopefully your other postings prove otherwise.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Signing in just to plug Harry's podcast.

I have listed to a fair bit of it and while I may not agree with him on everything (no different than any other podcast) it is chock full of great stuff. To anybody who hasn't, check it out here