Thats it. I've had enough.

[Secondtimeround]

I thought I was on the path of getting over my AFC'ness but after these last couple months I've come to realise I was only fooling myself. Sure I had a couple plates but my oneitis tendencies have gotten the better of me. The DJ Bible is opened and I have a note pad to make sure I take this seriously now rather than use some tips, get some plates then revert back to my AFC ways.

No more am I going to be walked over, no more am I going to take crap from no one. No more am I going to care if a HB doesn't reply to my messages, to a date, to anything. No more will I be afraid to strike a conversation with that HB10 and lastly but most important, no more will I fool myself.

 

[JohnChops]

There you go...when you write your goals down, it further reinforces your mindset.

You have the right attitude--and attitude is key.

It's a Marathon not a sprint...

The key is consistency. You'll get knocked down, but how will you react?

When you get knocked down i suggest looking at your goals to keep you motivated. Try not to procrastinate either.... its a killer

 

[PlayHer Man]

As long as you want/desire any type of serious relationship with a woman.. you will ALWAYS get oneitis.. Always, always, always.

To be a true DJ.. you must reach a point where the idea of dying alone doesn't scare you. As long as you keep dreaming of marriage, family and love.. you will be doomed to oneitis and forever an AFC slave to women.

That's what no one tells you. To spin plates properly.. you must internally STOP caring about anything with a woman beyond sex. Stop chasing love. Stop looking for a wife. This is key. In fact.. this is the ONLY way.

This is why even some of the richest and most successful men are still AFC's inside. People like Tiger Woods, Paul McCartney, Ted Danson, etc. Even with all their money and fame they still seek a mommy replacement to bond with. Then they get taken in divorce court. Mommy leaves them. George Clooney is a true DJ. No marriage, no commitment.. just spinning plates forever. That's how its done. No exceptions.

This doesn't mean avoiding relationships.. it means NOT CARING ABOUT HAVING THEM. Until you can do this.. you will be an AFC until the day you die.

 

[GTG]

As long as you want/desire any type of serious relationship with a woman.. you will ALWAYS get oneitis.. Always, always, always.

To be a true DJ.. you must reach a point where the idea of dying alone doesn't scare you. As long as you keep dreaming of marriage, family and love.. you will be doomed to oneitis and forever an AFC slave to women.

That's what no one tells you. To spin plates properly.. you must internally STOP caring about anything with a woman beyond sex. Stop chasing love. Stop looking for a wife. This is key. In fact.. this is the ONLY way.

This is why even some of the richest and most successful men are still AFC's inside. People like Tiger Woods, Paul McCartney, Ted Danson, etc. Even with all their money and fame they still seek a mommy replacement to bond with. Then they get taken in divorce court. Mommy leaves them. George Clooney is a true DJ. No marriage, no commitment.. just spinning plates forever. That's how its done. No exceptions.

This doesn't mean avoiding relationships.. it means NOT CARING ABOUT HAVING THEM. Until you can do this.. you will be an AFC until the day you die.

This is something I've wondered about as I've started exploring this world.

What's the end game? Life full of sex and then? Or do you allow yourself to eventually invest?

Just curious

 

[TonyBaloney]

C'mon bro, so you've been played.......so what, you know the game. Some you win, some you lose. It is the perpetual cycle that makes the Game what it is, and the Game would be boring without. A change of mindset is required to overcome this obstacle. Please be more philosophical - you will prevail!

 

[TonyBaloney]

The DJ is prepared and willing to color his life outside of Western society's paint-by-numbers system.

Ha ha - a great comment fom a wise man - rep to ESP

 

[BeDJ]

That's what no one tells you. To spin plates properly.. you must internally STOP caring about anything with a woman beyond sex. Stop chasing love. Stop looking for a wife. This is key. In fact.. this is the ONLY way.

This is the mentality I have adapted to the past couple of months. The moment you stop giving a sh!t about women, you will be successful in all aspects of your life.

Will I be spinning plates for the rest of my life? Probably. I reread my journal and the early encounters were ME trying to ATTRACT women. I was conceding to these women because I cared about them and withstood disrespect. It was borderline white knight-ism, taking the high road. If I don't feel attraction for a women, I would wait it out and exit gracefully. Now, I can be on a date for 10 minutes and end it with a bullsh!t excuse.

Does that make me an assho|e? Probably. Similarly, women will stop contacting you because they feel like it. Women will flake on you because they feel like it. Women will stop seeing you because they feel like it. Women will dump you because they feel like it. No second thought. Sure, you can say they found a better deal. That's quite possible, but not always the case. When you base your actions on emotions like women do, they can NEVER be understood. Just see them for who they are. Erratic and full of disregard. Commitment is lose-lose.

My vex conclusion is that women should be used for just sex. If it were easy enough, I would just bring drinks and fvck them at their place off the bat. Leave for work the next morning and fulfill every aspect of my life. Once I need my sex release again, I will get it. Nothing more.

I'm a fvcking vampire.

 

[zinc4]

This is the mentality I have adapted to the past couple of months. The moment you stop giving a sh!t about women, you will be successful in all aspects of your life.

Will I be spinning plates for the rest of my life? Probably. I reread my journal and the early encounters were ME trying to ATTRACT women. I was conceding to these women because I cared about them and withstood disrespect. It was borderline white knight-ism, taking the high road. If I don't feel attraction for a women, I would wait it out and exit gracefully. Now, I can be on a date for 10 minutes and end it with a bullsh!t excuse.

Does that make me an assho|e? Probably. Similarly, women will stop contacting you because they feel like it. Women will flake on you because they feel like it. Women will stop seeing you because they feel like it. Women will dump you because they feel like it. No second thought. Sure, you can say they found a better deal. That's quite possible, but not always the case. When you base your actions on emotions like women do, they can NEVER be understood. Just see them for who they are. Erratic and full of disregard. Commitment is lose-lose.

My vex conclusion is that women should be used for just sex. If it were easy enough, I would just bring drinks and fvck them at their place off the bat. Leave for work the next morning and fulfill every aspect of my life. Once I need my sex release again, I will get it. Nothing more.

I'm a fvcking vampire.

It is that easy a lot of times............

 

[Zion]

This is something I've wondered about as I've started exploring this world.

What's the end game? Life full of sex and then? Or do you allow yourself to eventually invest?

Just curious

The end-game is the power of choice.

If you want a lifetime of spinning plates , you can go for it.

If you wanna start a family , you will have the ability to chose your wife , instead of settling for a wife.

 

[PlayHer Man]

This is something I've wondered about as I've started exploring this world.

What's the end game? Life full of sex and then? Or do you allow yourself to eventually invest?

Just curious

There is no "end-game" with women.. just like there is no "end-game" with an amusement park. You enjoy yourself, then you move on to more important things.

Kids are nothing to worry about since many woman want them. As a man, you can have kids at any age. Steve Martin just had his first kid at 67. AFTER achieving all his goals.

As a man, you should commit to your own cause. The most expensive thing you can buy in this world is YOURSELF. Espi above explained this well. The DJ road is the road less traveled. You are like the fox that walks into the hen house. Everyone freaks out and wonders why you're breaking the rules. The hens swak and become upset (as many women do by men who avoid commitment). The farmer tries to chase you away (society discourages you). You are alone in your journey BUT you've never eaten so well.

 

[VladPatton]

The end game is to be so in tune with yourself and women that you choose the best one for you to start a family. Sure George Clooney is a bad ass and a DJ. But he also doesn't have a son. When he keels over, that's it, his name is dead forever. But hey, to each his own; whatever blows your hair back.

 

[JohnChops]

As long as you want/desire any type of serious relationship with a woman.. you will ALWAYS get oneitis.. Always, always, always.

To be a true DJ.. you must reach a point where the idea of dying alone doesn't scare you. As long as you keep dreaming of marriage, family and love.. you will be doomed to oneitis and forever an AFC slave to women.

That's what no one tells you. To spin plates properly.. you must internally STOP caring about anything with a woman beyond sex. Stop chasing love. Stop looking for a wife. This is key. In fact.. this is the ONLY way.

This is why even some of the richest and most successful men are still AFC's inside. People like Tiger Woods, Paul McCartney, Ted Danson, etc. Even with all their money and fame they still seek a mommy replacement to bond with. Then they get taken in divorce court. Mommy leaves them. George Clooney is a true DJ. No marriage, no commitment.. just spinning plates forever. That's how its done. No exceptions.

This doesn't mean avoiding relationships.. it means NOT CARING ABOUT HAVING THEM. Until you can do this.. you will be an AFC until the day you die.

Excellent post!

 

[Secondtimeround]

Thanks all, yes, it's definately a marathon and not a sprint. I'm now finally reading through the DJ bible properly and not just picking up bits to help me out. Have found that ironically the many new guys etc post so many questions on here that could have been easily solved via reading the bible (I'll admit I was one of them).

Funny how once you let it all out and commit yourself to something, everything starts to get that much easier. I starting to hit that road of simply just not caring no more as BDJ put it. Funnily enough, everything becomes more natural, have noticed girls definately see me differently now.

All the girls I use to orbit, I've dropped and just the ego boost as they are clambering around to figure out why feels so good; NC here we go. Took the really great tip from the bible and that was to get myself out there socially. Have hit a rut these last few months with study building up and work; sure my hobbys take a backseat but must say I'm feeling more relaxed.

Still not sure what to do with my plates and oneitis. Thing is they're still pretty new to the point that none of my AFC'ness have come out yet so interest is still high. The wonders it does though when you let your sexual inhibitions go and simply the change in how they see you is crazy! Even more I'm just approaching random girls and striking up conversation (when situation presents and not in a stalkerish way ). Still working on the number closing though.

Thank god I realised what was happening to me when I went AFC in my head after sending a text, waiting and not getting an instant reply and going chump crazy. It was the turning of tides I needed to get myself out there.

Thanks all again.

 

[floydb25]

Different strokes... It all depends on what you want. You can (and should) do all the things the OP listed, while still getting involved in relationships, companionship, etc. Actually, that's the best way to do it.

I think there's a fine line between caring too much, and not at all. You don't want to do all these things for women (ie, having game, being independent, putting yourself first), or making that your end-goal; your top priority. If you do everything for women - including not putting women first, as part of your "game", to attract women (oh, the irony) - then yea, you're still a chump... You'll still take rejection personally, allow others to determine your worth, have an approval-seeking mindset, etc. This is no good, and you'll slip right back into old patterns of being depressed when things don't work out, or this or that person doesn't like you...

I think a lot of people do these things as a result of their own issues and insecurities - which never really go away... they just take different forms. Like the nice guy who becomes a jerk solely to attract women. All of those core issues are still there, and running the whole show. And you (still) feel like ****, have no self-esteem, and end up attracting dysfunctional losers as a result.

You have to genuinely not care, seek other people's approval, try to win them over, tolerate disrespect, be a co-dependant, insecure, desperate, needy doormat, and so forth. This is the natural way you should be - with everyone. That doesn't mean you don't care about other people, view them as objects, or become a selfish prick... Quite the opposite. It's just respecting and being content with (and by) yourself. Which just so happens to attract other people in a healthy way. This is normal.

Too many extremes are being thrown around. You CAN not care about rejection, what others think, or focusing solely on appeasing to or attracting others - while still looking for relationships, falling in love, raising a family, having friendships, or whatever. It's not either or.

But again, it all depends on what you want. There is no right or wrong. Do what YOU want. Just go ABOUT it the right way.

I do find it ironic, though. All these people against society's rules, and the way it's forced upon others as the way to be - are doing the EXACT same thing with their "rules". This is the way you should be, a true DJ is this / that, you have to not do this / that... Same ****, opposite path. Kiss my ass. :cheer:

 

[Secondtimeround]

Thats the thing Floyd, I cared what other people thought in the past, bit my tongue incase I said something that offended. My morals still stand, I still act like a gentleman, open doors to woman, respect the elderly, happily do my volunteer work but rather now I don't allow myself to hold anything back in case I 'hurt someones feelings'. It is definately a small line to cross: I don't plan on being an a**h*** - heck I'm not after becoming the best PUA in SS and chasing after endless p*ssy, I'm just out to liberate myself from what society has turned me into and which I allowed myself to be. I still believe this site is more about enlightenment than it is about chasing tail but I could be wrong.

And cheers Brad for the thread, great read and definately hold true, it definately feels like unfamiliar turf that I am now standing on. The other day I even surprised myself having a conversation with a HB about places we'd like to have sex. Now the old me would have shy'd away from that and even the new me felt wierd talking about it. Results in the pudding though, could definately see the change in her pre-concieved notions that I was a chum to something different.

Friends are having trouble dealing with it though. You could almost say my friends are all AFC's (even the couple'd up ones). It works for them. But particularly the females don't like my 'change in outlook' as they say...