That sick feeling....

[NewMan]

Just got back from lunch...

Just before lunch I had an IM from the ex...

Her Grandmother has just dies and she IM'd me to let me know.... She then told me that she went away for her B'day - to see some guy she meet whilst at work (in a different city).....

That brought about that sick feeling you get in your stomach..... Like someone just punched you there....

Thoughts of her with someone else - having fun with some other guy....

And I was thinking why do I feel this way? is it because I want her back? No, not really - don't get me wrong - I'd love to bang her, but to be back in a relationship with her, it's not something I want...

So why the feeling???

Jealousy? Jealousy that she's found someone and has moved on - thats what I believe. That I could be replaced.....

I think that all of our pains over the ex is because of the unknown. Who is she with, what is she doing - where is she. How could she be happy when I'm not - that kind of thing....

But I think if I were to find someone else, someone that we are really into - this would no longer be an issue.


The only real way to move on is to cut contact completely - move away form anything and everything that reminds one of the ex. Start afresh. Cut off tie and move on.


Personal note...

I'm actually feeling the best I've felt in yrs. Even though I had an attack of longing for the ex - it went quickly away - as I relaize that the life I'm living now - is the one that I carved for myself - that I was not happy with the ex - so why do I care about what she's doing? I WILL find that woman that complements me someday - but I know that right now it's not her. It's this realisation that has moved me on....

 

[LouieVaton Don]

Yeah I know that feeling, its a gut instinct feeling. I usually feel that way when Im in a relationship thats about to go downhill. Anyway though you'll get over it(probably now).

 

[Dirtheart]

Yes, that old familiar feeling. I know it well.

I have come to believe that it comes whenever I expect it to; I can predict when it will happen, which tells me it has a lot to do with anticipation. I always get it before public speaking and, just like Louievaton, whenever a relationship takes a bad turn.

The best way to deal with it, I find, is to accept it as a chemical reaction in your body and nothing more. Don't try to explain it, determine the cause or supress it, just let it happen and let it pass.

 

[Walk this Way]

I know the feeling. Probably one of the worst when it comes to relationships. Like when I found out my ex had a new boyfriend, I literally made sure I could compete and BEAT him in every single thing he did. I got better grades, worked out harder, and just built an arsenal of academic, physical and social weapons that simply made me (in my mind) BETTER than he was in every way I could imagine. It was not for the girl I did this, but for myself. But I still wanted the girl to know very well that the guy she was with was INFERIOR to me in every way. That made me feel so much better. Like when I saw what he got her for her birthday, and I realized that the presents I had given her were better, it made me feel great. It made me feel like it was HER LOSS - that's exactly it. That even if she didn't like me, she would always know that no other guy could compete in terms of raw achievment, ability and intelligence.

But no avail. Everything he does is absolutely wonderful for her, even if she knows full well that I have done the same things and better.

 

[Dirtheart]

Walk this way: I did the same thing when I split with my ex last. Now, a year later, I'm more intelligent, in better shape, have an improved image, have achieved more and generally superior than I was back then. I've no regrets at all!

 

[dillin]

You know I'm wondering where this comes from aswell, it's really one of the worst feelings you can get.

 

[NewMan]

I think it's similar to anxiety....

 

[E-Z Rider]

I think I'm in a very similar position to you.

You can say with a straight face that you are over her. You don't think about her that much- in fact you probably ARE over her, in that you don't really want to get back w/ her. You don't think about her all that much, it doesn't pain you really to be apart from her.

But you still get that feeling when you hear about her or she contacts you, especially if you find out she has someone new.

But that's only for my last ex. The one before that, I don't get that feeling for at all, even though she is still a very desirable girl. But back before my last relationship, I would have felt similar to the way it is now, about my previous ex.

So I guess, if that made any sense, that says that moving on will sove these problems. Maybe not even as much as getting a new gf, but just having some good prospects to work on. And that's starting to happen, and I notice I'm caring less and less.

So, It's nothing I can't handle, but yeah the feeling does suck.

-E-Z

 

[jbbrain]

That feelings a given once you play the dating game. I've only felt that way once before in my life, but its something all of us will have to expect to encounter at least a few times in our lives...there's no real magic bullet against I don't think either...except for moving on with your life, not dwelling on hers and TIME.

 

[NewMan]

yeah it sucks...

I've been in a little funk all day.... But I still get back to the same realization - and that is that I'm in a better place now than I was then...

Fvck, I just spoke to my current squeeze - 8 yrs younger than me - and who's fvcking scorching hot....

What do I have to complain about???