Thanks everybody => My First num close (advice welcome)

[Pathetik]

Hey guys !!
Since I'm reading this board I feel stronger, more confident... I'm feeling like a new man. A better one...

Yesterday evening, I was with some friends of mine in a small and friendly bar.
We were joking laughing and drinking... Enjoying !
Héloise, my best friend's girlfriend was talking to a stranger girl (céline)
When I saw that I got up and move on talking to them.
Héloise introduced me and then another girl came (Julie; the better one... Let's say 6 maybe 7)
I first ignored her and kept talking to Céline and Héloise.
Then we went out to smoke.
There I talked more to Julie and started doing some shoulder kino.
When she responded to my kino, I escalated, touching her hand, her back and I move closer to her.

I did a lot of C&F, Neg hit, false takeaway. Furthermore I did a lot of social proof talking with the other "customers", with the bartender, the boss etc etc ... That was sooo ****ing great !

A guy came to sell us some flowers ... I took Julie by the waist and sayd to that guy: "Sorry I'm not gonna buy her a rose, We've already ****ed."
She starded laughing and then she went in my frame... That was great

[Fluff - Kino - C&F]

I asked her for her number and she told me something like :

Julie: "You know I don't want a ****friend, I want something serious. A real relationship ! So I give you my number but don't forget that"

Me: "Ok I don't want your number anymore! "
And I kept talking to her.
A few time later, I gave her my cell phone and she numclosed herself.

Well I'm writing it fast and short 'cause It's difficult to explain everything and it will probably be boring for you ^^

I had a lot of SOI. She was almost begging for the kiss close (she tried to isolate me in a dark place )
She's not bad looking... I have some interests for her but she's definitely not my "goal" if you know what I mean.

She told me she wants a real relationship. But if I do that I'm afraid of falling in love for her even if she's not my goal (I'm still AFC or maybe a rAFC).

I'd like to screw her but I'm afraid of hurting her...
So what do you think guys...
Should I call her back or not ?
Should I believe her when she told me "I want a real exclusive relationship, not a ****friend" ?

It's my first numclose... and I'm already lost

By the way, thanks everybody for this great board. It's the best I've ever red

 

[n00bPimp]

What she says is irrelevant to what she wants. She seems to be attracted to you and thats that, you can do what you want with it and she has no choice but to follow you.

 

[ARrocket]

First off....awesome job man!

Now, you go after what YOU want. Don't worry about what she wants....don't worry about "hurting" her, you will not hurt her if you don't act as if you are in a relationship. You're not masking your intentions, so you'll be fine

 

[SamePendo]

Change your nick

 

[Mr. Bojangles]

Change your nick

This. If you have such little respect for yourself how can you expect others to respect you?

Well done on the number close though! With every experience like this your confidence will grow. It's ultimately up to you whether or not you want to continue the relationship. Don't concern yourself with what she says she wants - she will make her own choices.

If you do choose to keep seeing her, just make sure you don't lose sight of your goals (to become more confident with women i'm assuming ). I found that when I had an FB i was a lot less motivated to make new approaches etc.

Keep up the good work!

 

[Pathetik]

What she says is irrelevant to what she wants. She seems to be attracted to you and thats that, you can do what you want with it and she has no choice but to follow you.

Yeah you're probably right... I just have to keep a strong "Frame" and never change my mind or make her think I changed my mind...
It's another step for me ^^

First off....awesome job man!

Now, you go after what YOU want. Don't worry about what she wants....don't worry about "hurting" her, you will not hurt her if you don't act as if you are in a relationship. You're not masking your intentions, so you'll be fine

Thanks !
Yeah I got it... Maybe I'm gonna try ... I have few days more to think about it anyway

Change your nick

Héhé thanks SamePendo.

This. If you have such little respect for yourself how can you expect others to respect you?

Actually my "real" nick is "ironik" but it was already taken.
furthermore since yesterday night I was pathetic... with girls. It's not a shame for me, I assume that and I just want to change.
I'm building up my self confidence. I know this will take a long time to fix but I think I'm following the good way

Well done on the number close though! With every experience like this your confidence will grow.

Thanks and yeah you're right ... I'm feeling powerfull and a lot more confident
That's a really great feeling !

It's ultimately up to you whether or not you want to continue the relationship. Don't concern yourself with what she says she wants - she will make her own choices.

Yeah I'm gonna try that... I think ...

If you do choose to keep seeing her, just make sure you don't lose sight of your goals (to become more confident with women i'm assuming ). I found that when I had an FB i was a lot less motivated to make new approaches etc.

Keep up the good work!

Yeah you're right one more time. My goal is defenitely to be more confident with me and then with girls. I want to be able to "have" any woman I want... and who will be good for me. Not a fvcking AW or narcissic woman :box:

Thanks for your feedback guys. I appreciate that !

 

[afrojiggles]

what the **** are you hiding from ? man, u got to man up and empty your testicles into her as whatever she says is just to convince herself that she isnt slutting around besides its you who got her into wetting her pants soo, ease her out of her misery and help her outa those tight pants and have ano HB into ur player list, if she is worth the relationship then go for it otherwise drop all these 'AFC' whines

 

[Pathetik]

what the **** are you hiding from ? man, u got to man up and empty your testicles into her as whatever she says is just to convince herself that she isnt slutting around besides its you who got her into wetting her pants soo, ease her out of her misery and help her outa those tight pants and have ano HB into ur player list, if she is worth the relationship then go for it otherwise drop all these 'AFC' whines

humm ... you're right ... I still have AFC mind and AFC self limitations...

I'm gonna call her back soon and have a try.

how should I play the phone game and the first date in your opinion ?
I think I'll have to do all the stuff again... I'm a bit afraid about the first date (if she answers me of course ^^)

 

[Yahooey]

Change your nick

You should also change your signature.

A DJ only apologizes for something he has done wrong and I've seen a lot worse from native speakers.

Time to lose the AFC mindframe

 

[drtk]

I agree with the guys above me, specially since you had such a good night. The only thing keeping your game from what it could be is that AFC mindframe. Take care.

-drtk

 

[Pathetik]

Thanks both of you guys.
I've just edited my signature.
You're right, I don't have to apologize for something I'm trying to do well.
I should have apologize for something I did wrong.
Trying to do things right is not wrong, is it ?

Everything is changing in my life since I've found this board.
I'm feeling a lot more confident. I see me in the mirror more handsome.
I'm not afraid to greet strangers anymore.

But yeah I still have some sticky points I should work on.
By the way I think that just going out and meet new people will help to increase my DJ's skills and mind ^^

Thanks everybody for the feedback.
I'll try to make a better and more detailed report next time

 

[Yahooey]

Props on the new sig

 

[Pathetik]

The "phone game"

I did it ^^

I called her five days after the num close.

I did this:

*ring*
She picked up the phone.

Me: "good afternoon, I'd like to talk to a cute shoes vendor please"
She's actually a cute shoes vendor ^^

Her: "Who is calling?"

Me: "It's *Pathetik*"

Her: "Oh ! Pathetik ! I was wondering if you will call me !"

Me: "What are you doing right now?"

Her: "I've just finished working... Now I'm smoking, relaxing"

Me: "Good... I've just finished my work too and I'm smoking too héhé.
When do you usually stop working ?"

Her:"Around 7pm"

Me: "Ok... So ... If I tell you tuesday, 8:30pm, is that ok ?

Her: "humm actually tuesday... [...]"
there I was thinking she was going to flake me ^^

[...] tuesday is my day off so it's ok !

Me: "Ok, I was thinking about a pool hall but I don't know if there is one next to your place...

Her:" You're the man you have to take charge of it"
Yeah ok... Got the hint ^^
Thanks for correcting my game ^^

Me: "Don't worry about it "

her:" So ... are we suposed to call in order to confirm the date?"

Me:"No, if I call you before tuesday it's for canceling it"

Her:"You will be there, I hope !"

Me:"Don't worry "

After that we had small talk, she laughed, I laughed... I was quite anxious thus my voice was shaking a little at the begining.
I had few ( like 2 ) hesitations but nothing terrible...

I said her goodbye.

It took me something like 3min

 

[Kid Style]

Good conversation on the phone. Short, to the point, and confident...couple of questions you could have avoided like the "what are you doing?" question.

<<her:" So ... are we suposed to call in order to confirm the date?"

Me:"No, if I call you before tuesday it's for canceling it">>

Pure genius!!

 

[Pathetik]

Good conversation on the phone. Short, to the point, and confident...couple of questions you could have avoided like the "what are you doing?" question.

<<her:" So ... are we suposed to call in order to confirm the date?"

Me:"No, if I call you before tuesday it's for canceling it">>

Pure genius!!

héhéhé thanks man

The point is that asking "what are you doing?" gave me the opportunity of asking her, in a natural way, at what time does she usually finish working and thus to propose her a date ^^
Thanks for your feed back by the way

I think she is very interested in me so setting up a date was easy ...