Thank you red pill (my story)

[_Dream_]

First things first, I want to thank the manosphere for saving me my money, dignity and sane mind
Im first time posting here, I finished reading The Rational Male and i have over 15 more similar books waiting to be red. Reading blogs, forums and books about all of this is keeping me emotionally sane.

I got dumped, after 6 years long relationship, by i girl i was already picking wedding rings for. Its been a month since then.

The story:
I was freshman in college when I met her. She was a very shy girl that brought me a drawing of my face while i was in a bar with my friends, and told me she likes me.
She was depressed, shy and very christian when we met, but the cutest girl i could imagine.
We started dating, spending time together and soon i realized she even has the perfect body.
Things got a bit rought when it became a LDR because of college, but we saw each other every month for 5 days, and that was enough.

Sex life:
After i year i started to get angry because of her "no sex before marriage" mentality, plus it doesn't help that she has some traumas from her uncle touching her...
I thought thats where it would end, but she started being very horny and very imaginative.
I got best-in-the-world handjobs, *******s, grindjobs, deepthroats, titjobs ( anything other but sex with penetration) for 3-4 times a week.
But it was always very hard to get her to ***, it was a delicate process and her shyness didn't help a lot, but i had a fair amount of success there too.
After 5 years together she told me she wants to have sex, but it was always a irritating experience.
She could lose her wish while i was opening a condom
She could get super scared once the tip gets in and its OVER for that night.
I agreed we can take it slowly since you know, i was stil in the matrix and i thought a female could truly love a guy.

Myself:
Meanwhile i got my engineerings master degree. I got in great shape. I am very popular in my own town and good in social situations.
I had to say NO to a lot of girls while i was in my relationship, girls that wanted to **** me on the spot.
When i would ask my ex "How come there are radnom girls out there that want to **** me, but you, the person that loves me, arent even trying". I dont think you understand how long she would cry after i would say that, and then accuse me for "trying to emotionally blackmailing her into sex"

Good things
Evertying else with her was great. She got into my hobbies, she was my biggest source of happiness and always worked hard to make herself better for me. She spent almost every day at my place ( what i now know is a mistake) but i enjoyed that greatly

The crack on the wall
I was very busy my last 6 months of relationship, i had to finish my master thesis and immediately after that i had TWO jobs ( worked 12 hours a day)
That put some distance between us, coz i would go to sleep early, while she would spend late nights chatting with some skype group ( funny image-board skype comunity )
I found out she loved the attention of beta orbiters, she would post borderline sexy pics just to get praised from internet dweebs. It was weird seeing that side of her, side desperate for attention.
I am relatively very successful, in my grades, social standings, paycheck ( i earn 3 times as guys my age), but all of that only made her feel BAD.
She always felt like she wasn't good enough and that i will leave her.
So she turned to internet, and good all the praise in the world from people that spend 100% of their lives being depressed and on talking over the internet.That was a gold mine for her confidence.
I got mad at it, she stopped, by since i started working A LOT, she continued in secrecy.

The end
I went to work abroad for 6 months. I told her im planning to propose to her once i come back ( i see that was a mistake ) and that we will get a house together with the money i earn here.
One month after i went working, she went to Dublin to see her relatives and the town ( trip i paid for), but what she actually went is to see: will she kiss a guy she has been talking with on skype.
She actually asked me few time to go to Dublin with her, and meet that guy.. but i told her that was stupid since i can simply pay her to come where i work and we will have more privacy that way.
I didnt think much of it since guy is a skinny, shy, uneducated, low-paid internet dweeb.
But it happened, she kissed him and called me telling me she is breaking off with me, its over

I asked her "how could you tell me you miss me and love me until the very last day if it wasn't true", her response was "i wanted it to be true, so i kept on saying it.."
First week She cut our contacts after that. I did try desperately to fix things ( again, a mistake as i see it now ). I made her roomate give her my letter, i used all types of internet contacts, begging her not to do this
Second week After 14 days she sent me a message asking me how i am. And instead of being cold and friendly, i again tried my best to fix it. I wanted to buy her a plain ticket, finance her life her while we work on our relationship...Well it didnt go so well, i was emotionally ****ed, and she went away.
Third week I was thinking of flying back home, to her doorstep, thinking "maybe if she just looks at me in from close, all her memories will come back". But luckily my good friends showed me ways into the red pill, the game... and all other bitter medicine. What you are doing here on this forum, saved my dignity and self respect
Forth week I forced to ask a cute Norwegian girl out, and now she regularly comes to my place for some make out sessions. Im not over my ex, but im keeping my cool, and being with another girl (in a no-comitments way ) does help a lot.
I keep posting on forums where me and my ex used to hang around ( same place where that skype group came from ), and sometimes she even responds to my posts with some funny pics/coments.. But i think it would be for the best to distance myself from all of that..

--------------------------------------------------
Again thank you for keeping my sanity and respect. I now know how high my value is, and its only growing. I never had problems with getting girls, but i was saving myself for the true love ( hahaha ). I like to beilive after i read all those other books and educate myself that it will get even easier.
I no longer feel the need to chase her, go to her house, but i still do wish she would say sorry and come to me on her own...

...what i dont understand, and it goes agains everything i red so far is. Why did she leave me for a man that is in every way a downgrade from me.
A shy , out of shape guy, that never had a girl, with low paying job, no social skills ( exept online ones) and mild form of autism...
Only thing he has to offer to her is safety that no other girl will ever want him and she can't feel bad when comparing herself to him... But that goes against hypergamy in every way possible

Im not sure how much i ****ed it up by doing the worst thing possible ( spilling my guts infront of her after she contacted me post-break up ) but with my new knowledge i will continue ignoring her.. i must never be the first one to say "hie", and always stay friendly but cold

Sorry for the long post, i have a lot of things in me. I hope this is the right place to post this stuff.

 

[Young OG]

That was way to much to read. You messed up in the first place by continuing to date her without getting any. If a girl doesn't give it up by the 3rd date, then she needs to be nexted. Now you wasted 6 years of your life not getting laid.

You say you have a new chick coming over for make out sessions? If your not getting laid by her then why is she coming over? Find some women that will actually put out.

Women are only interested in what you can do for them. It doesn't have to be money. Maybe he makes her feel really good when she's with him, he's fun to be around, or he has a really unique sense of humor. It could be anything.

Stay off any forums and anything online she's going to be associated with. Delete her from social media, delete her number, and delete her from your life. Forget about her. Start reading the DJ Bible asap.

 

[_Dream_]

That was way to much to read. You messed up in the first place by continuing to date her without getting any. If a girl doesn't give it up by the 3rd date, then she needs to be nexted. Now you wasted 6 years of your life not getting laid.

You say you have a new chick coming over for make out sessions? If your not getting laid by her then why is she coming over? Find some women that will actually put out.

Women are only interested in what you do for them. It doesn't have to be money. Maybe he makes her feel really good when she's with him, he's fun to be around, or he has a really unique sense of humor. It could be anything.

Stay off any forums and anything online she's going to be associated with. Delete her from social media, delete her number, and delete her from your life. Forget about her. Start reading the DJ Bible asap.

Thx man. Yeah i know it was too much, but even just writing it down was a form of therapy.
And concering the new girl, im not sure, she drives 40 minutes just to see me and then gets super horny, but dont want to go all the way... i dont care, she is on the NEXT list anyways

I will stay of forums, it will be hard, since many of my friends are there, but its what must be done

 

[marmel75]

Thx man. Yeah i know it was too much, but even just writing it down was a form of therapy.
And concering the new girl, im not sure, she drives 40 minutes just to see me and then gets super horny, but dont want to go all the way... i dont care, she is on the NEXT list anyways

I will stay of forums, it will be hard, since many of my friends are there, but its what must be done

No offense, but a woman who drives 40 minutes to see you is wanting to get fvcked. You are preventing yourself from getting laid by not pushing the envelope far enough or trying hard enough. Next time she comes over and she doesn't want to go any further get up, walk to the door, look at her and calmly say "I think its time you leave."

If she is actually interested in you, she will put out.

 

[NSX-R]

Consider yourself lucky because you missed a bullet there since you were going to Merry her.

Every guy here started as a beta male that got dumped by the chick we thought that time to be like an ancient Greek goddess . The longer you stay in The Matrix, the harder it's going to be to adapt to the red pill.

Read the dj bible asap and adapt to the principles.

Forget this chick for ever . You lost 6 of the best years in your life.
Remember, whatever you are going to see in the dj bible might go against your beliefs but everything there is writer by people that went through the same experiences. Good luck.

 

[_Dream_]

"A shy , out of shape guy, that never had a girl, with low paying job, no social skills ( exept online ones) and mild form of autism."

You should change your way of thinking, obviously this guy did something right. Just focus on your ex, how she not worth your time and energy.

I know, he made her feel good, and he had time when i was too busy working. My ex suffered greatly from feeling not good enough and for him she will always be a pillar of success.
But i dont want to think about him, its is her that made all of this in ****.

Consider yourself lucky because you missed a bullet there since you were going to Merry her.

Every guy here started as a beta male that got dumped by the chick we thought that time to be like an ancient Greek goddess . The longer you stay in The Matrix, the harder it's going to be to adapt to the red pill.

Read the dj bible asap and adapt to the principles.

Forget this chick for ever . You lost 6 of the best years in your life.
Remember, whatever you are going to see in the dj bible might go against your beliefs but everything there is writer by people that went through the same experiences. Good luck.

IF she would do such a thing when we got married, you are right. I just cant help myself but to feel like if i just had more time on my hand while things were tought for her, i could have saved us...
But its time to forget about her, and move on.
If most of the guys started the same way as i did, then im on a good path of bettering myself. Just discovering the matrix was a huge step.
Thx for your support

 

[NSX-R]

IF she would do such a thing when we got married, you are right. I just cant help myself but to feel like if i just had more time on my hand while things were tought for her, i could have saved us...
But its time to forget about her, and move on.
If most of the guys started the same way as i did, then im on a good path of bettering myself. Just discovering the matrix was a huge step.
Thx for your support

If you try to take some examples you will see that most experienced people after many years they are settling for one woman which she's smart and more royal . Take George Clouney for example .He had any chick he wanted, basically tried everything but he ended up marrying a serious non famous woman instead for all the sexbombs he used to have.

In your part you thought that you were the lucky guy with the jackpot but many guys failed there . My ex gf was the perfect woman to merry but i chose to break up with her because i wanted to try things and get experience. If i lost the big prize? Time will tell but having a bigger picture brings you always the advantage.

 

[RangerMIke]

Sounds like your ex suffered from a serious case of low self esteem mixed with a serious sexual hangup.

When your ex left you, you see this as sudden, when she said she had wanted to leave for a while.... that is true. Women can fake interest for a long time... when she gets to the point where she can't stand you.... that's when she's gone. You can never go back...

Why she left... you got complacent and did not notice that her interest in you was dropping. You also indicated that you were better than her.... if that is how you felt than for sure she picked up on this. Women always know how you feel. It was killing her because she already had low self esteem problems. Make sure the next relationship you get into is with a woman you think you deserve.

She is with the guy she is with now because she gets admiration and respect from him... but this thing won't last with him either since it doesn't sound like he is doing all what he needs to to build her interest.

But hey... don't worry about any of that what she does now is not important. What is important is you have to kill the ego part of you that is bothered that she picked a lessor guy over you. To get really good with women you have to get to a point where you don't give a fvck what they think of you... lose all hint of approval seeking behavior.

 

[icantgetlaid]

I agree with a lot of what RangerMike said .. she probably wanted to leave for a while .. and too dependent to do it on her own so she's using this out of shape internet dweeb simply to break free from you while she figures sh1t out for herself ... he'll be the next victim of her craziness down the road ...

 

[marmel75]

You basically did self-imposed castration on yourself for 6 years? Dude, you are fvcking crazy. Fvck that sh!t. Talk about a woman literally holding your balls hostage. She must have felt like the most powerful chick on the planet! I'll bet after you broke up, she ended up getting fvcked within 2 months if not sooner.

I would have straight up told her that if we aren't having sex together then I would be having NSA sex on the side until she felt ready and if she wasn't good with that then she could walk. You never make it seem like you are getting angry and upset about not getting sex from a woman, you simply tell them and then show them by your actions that you will get it elsewhere and will walk away from them if need be. No woman will ever withhold sex from a man she really wants to be with because she knows he will get it elsewhere. Unless its you, and then they know you won't.

 

[icantgetlaid]

I would have straight up told her that if we aren't having sex together then I would be having NSA sex on the side until she felt ready and if she wasn't good with that then she could walk. You never make it seem like you are getting angry and upset about not getting sex from a woman, you simply tell them and then show them by your actions that you will get it elsewhere and will walk away from them if need be. No woman will ever withhold sex from a man she really wants to be with because she knows he will get it elsewhere. Unless its you, and then they know you won't.

You never tell a girl you are going to get laid elsewhere ... you simply communicate that by getting laid elsewhere and remaining cool/calm/collected when she doesn't put out. That will get the panties off real quick.

 

[marmel75]

You never tell a girl you are going to get laid elsewhere ... you simply communicate that by getting laid elsewhere and remaining cool/calm/collected when she doesn't put out. That will get the panties off real quick.

This is what happens when people read the DJ Bible and think it applies uniformly to all situations without understanding how to utilize it properly based on context.

In most cases I agree, but this wasn't some "random" chick, this was his girlfriend. That discussion needed to be had with her unless he just planned on cheating on her behind her back, which if he planned on doing that, might as well have broken up with her.

 

[icantgetlaid]

This is what happens when people read the DJ Bible and think it applies uniformly to all situations without understanding how to utilize it properly based on context.

In most cases I agree, but this wasn't some "random" chick, this was his girlfriend. That discussion needed to be had with her unless he just planned on cheating on her behind her back, which if he planned on doing that, might as well have broken up with her.

There was no respect/relationship to preserve from the get go: withholding sex, posting risque photos on the internet for attention, etc. is grounds for your man fvcking other girls in my book

 

[marmel75]

There was no respect/relationship to preserve from the get go: withholding sex, posting risque photos on the internet for attention, etc. is grounds for your man fvcking other girls in my book

That was after 5 1/2 years....the discussion I talked about needed to take place at the point he became frustrated with no sex...which by his admission was around 1 year. So he stuck around another 5 years and did nothing.

I'm not talking about what I think should have happened to start or what I would have done(we would have never made it past date 3 if there was no sex), I am talking about what should have happened once he realized he wanted sex and she wasn't willing to put out--they had already been in a relationship for a year, you can't just say "Oh, well that didn't actually mean anything", nor can you bring up something that happened 4 1/2 years later as reasoning for doing it...

 

[AttackFormation]

That was after 5 1/2 years....the discussion I talked about needed to take place at the point he became frustrated with no sex...which by his admission was around 1 year. So he stuck around another 5 years and did nothing.

I'm not talking about what I think should have happened to start or what I would have done(we would have never made it past date 3 if there was no sex), I am talking about what should have happened once he wanted sex and she wasn't willing to put out--they had already been in a relationship for a year, you can't just say "Oh, well that didn't actually mean anything", nor can you bring up something that happened 4 1/2 years later as reasoning for doing it...

6 freaking years... insane...

 

[_Dream_]

Sounds like your ex suffered from a serious case of low self esteem mixed with a serious sexual hangup.

When your ex left you, you see this as sudden, when she said she had wanted to leave for a while.... that is true. Women can fake interest for a long time... when she gets to the point where she can't stand you.... that's when she's gone. You can never go back...

Why she left... you got complacent and did not notice that her interest in you was dropping. You also indicated that you were better than her.... if that is how you felt than for sure she picked up on this. Women always know how you feel. It was killing her because she already had low self esteem problems. Make sure the next relationship you get into is with a woman you think you deserve.

She is with the guy she is with now because she gets admiration and respect from him... but this thing won't last with him either since it doesn't sound like he is doing all what he needs to to build her interest.

But hey... don't worry about any of that what she does now is not important. What is important is you have to kill the ego part of you that is bothered that she picked a lessor guy over you. To get really good with women you have to get to a point where you don't give a fvck what they think of you... lose all hint of approval seeking behavior.

I did try to make her feel better. Dont think im a doushe, i did my best into making her into best she could be, while i did same with myself.
I dont worry about my future, everything in my life except that break up is in perfect order. I am extremely motivated and my life moto is that if you ever stop improving you might as well be dead, its not a life worth living. So im never static.
I am a little mad because she was a mess when we met, and my unrelenting optimism and motivation changed her into a 10 times better person. She then simply walked away with all my work. I even saw her giving fitness and bodybuilding tips to girls using my exact words,using my exact words to motivate people feeling sad about their lives.
Like half the things she says are my own words

I knew something was a bit wrong...but i was working for 12 hours a day, i was too tired to do anything, to be fun and impulsive. I was putting all my hopes into having a good life after i finish this 6 months work hell... but nope

Im working hard on myself right now m8. I am reading books, forums, i am like a sponge .

 

[icantgetlaid]

I did try to make her feel better. Dont think im a doushe, i did my best into making her into best she could be, while i did same with myself.
I dont worry about my future, everything in my life except that break up is in perfect order. I am extremely motivated and my life moto is that if you ever stop improving you might as well be dead, its not a life worth living. So im never static.
I am a little mad because she was a mess when we met, and my unrelenting optimism and motivation changed her into a 10 times better person. She then simply walked away with all my work. I even saw her giving fitness and bodybuilding tips to girls using my exact words,using my exact words to motivate people feeling sad about their lives.
Like half the things she says are my own words

I knew something was a bit wrong...but i was working for 12 hours a day, i was too tired to do anything, to be fun and impulsive. I was putting all my hopes into having a good life after i finish this 6 months work hell... but nope

Im working hard on myself right now m8. I am reading books, forums, i am like a sponge .

get off the forums and out of the books and start executing on what you've learned already ..

 

[_Dream_]

I agree with a lot of what RangerMike said .. she probably wanted to leave for a while .. and too dependent to do it on her own so she's using this out of shape internet dweeb simply to break free from you while she figures sh1t out for herself ... he'll be the next victim of her craziness down the road ...

I kinda agree with you, i think he is just a tool to get her out of it. He lives in a different country and they only saw each other once..

You basically did self-imposed castration on yourself for 6 years? Dude, you are fvcking crazy. Fvck that sh!t. Talk about a woman literally holding your balls hostage. She must have felt like the most powerful chick on the planet! I'll bet after you broke up, she ended up getting fvcked within 2 months if not sooner.

I would have straight up told her that if we aren't having sex together then I would be having NSA sex on the side until she felt ready and if she wasn't good with that then she could walk. You never make it seem like you are getting angry and upset about not getting sex from a woman, you simply tell them and then show them by your actions that you will get it elsewhere and will walk away from them if need be. No woman will ever withhold sex from a man she really wants to be with because she knows he will get it elsewhere. Unless its you, and then they know you won't.

6 freaking years... insane...

While yes, i agree it sounds horrible. But i got one hour long *******s, titjobs, deepthroats... bunch of kinky stuff, being tied, doing it in public. She put very great effort into making me *** my brains. I was getting a god like treatment 3 times a week and mostly it would last for an hour or more.... so i cant complain about that, she knew how to make me feel good

 

[_Dream_]

get off the forums and out of the books and start executing on what you've learned already ..

I am.. i straight up asked a girl in the gym to go out with me. Im in a foreign country, she doesnt speak english well, but she drives 40 mins just to see me every seconds day hah.
I got it man, but i enjoy socializing here too

 

[marmel75]

I am.. i straight up asked a girl in the gym to go out with me. Im in a foreign country, she doesnt speak english well, but she drives 40 mins just to see me every seconds day hah.
I got it man, but i enjoy socializing here too

And yet you still haven't fvcked her. Going to let this one hold your balls hostage too? Man up bro.