Texting vs. calling

[DonJuanabe]

Asked for and received a girl's number from online dating site. I *called* her. During our conversation she, out of the blue, said: "By the way, I like that you actually called me, most guys don't do that these days."

My point is this: if a girl gives you her number it is because she wants to talk with you. Many guys think it takes balls to call or talk to a girl so they wuss out by texting - it's easy, they don't have to get nervous, etc. Let me tell you what it is: WEAK.

 

[Valentino14]

You should call anyway. That is what people did before they had texting.

 

[alpha_ash]

The OP needs to look at his age. Calling is good for that age group, while texting is better for younger girls. Your objective when texting should be to setup a meet.

 

[The_Crack]

lol you're 41 bro. You can use the "back in my day.." line when calling but i've called and alot of girls don't answer and text you back asking what you want.
lame.

 

[Game617]

Have a date with a Russian girl this week. Haven't talked to her by phone. Didn't really want to which is what matters. Have another girl giving me massages, fked her in the a** for her first time. Tight as hell. I don't talk to her on the phone. Then another girl I was on the phone with for 20 minutes, asking her what kind of thongs she wears lol. Both work.

Still, I say the greatest chances to make or break the deal are through phone game. Much harder for a girl to BS and flake after talking to her for 15 minutes solid. Unless your lame. Really, it depends on the person, and what you find more effective and efficient.

Broke it off with this chick a month ago, already have a few I'm fking and other plates I'm spinning, far from a one girl game.

Sometimes it's about establishing comfort. Like DonJuanabe said, most guys can't handle a phone call. It's much harder to fake. Personally, with the Russian if she doesn't make the date as planned, I'll call her then and there to feel her out and maybe reschedule. It's not black or white.

Remember that 80% of communication is non-Verbal anyway. A guy can look good, carry himself like a man, but sound like Mike Tyson. The question is can you leverage that 15% to your benefit? Is it worth the risk? Sometimes the more you say, the more chance you have to FK things up. Other times you just met a girl and you're no more than letters on a screen to her...she doesn't know you and doesn't feel comfortable.

 

[zenaddict]

@op

you are 41, why do you still consider meeting women an achievement, or something that has to be surrounded with struggle, do you feel yourself better because you got to prove yourself in a perverse way

if you think that you are enough and you deserve that girl, you`ll probably make no melodrama out of everything

and a dating site, o`rlly?

most dating sites are full with fat insecure women, who are there to fish for compliments, a mentally sane, good looking woman already has a bunch of guys running after her, why would she need an extra source of sausage and just think of the social stigma she has to put up with

girl1: I met this guy on this dating site
girl2: why? isn`t there anybody else who`s hitting on you?
girl1: ummm, yeaaah
girl2: okay, is there something wrong with you? is it about your ex again? we need to talk
girl1: no, I`m over him, but I met this cool guy on a dating site
girl2: what do you know about him, he could be anything, just pretending
girl1: no, but you could be right, but this guy on the net is so nice
girl2: you know what, we gonna hit the club this saturday and see if we can find somebody good for you, if we can`t you can still meet this new guy
girl1: that seems fair enough for me

couple of days later after her drunken one nigh stand, she doesn`t even remember you

congratulations on getting hyped up on nothing

- numbers are nothing
- email is nothing
- fb is nothing
- meeting online is nothing
- dating is nothing

P in the V is everything

 

[Who Dares Win]

Calling her keeps her "busy" and force her to give you her full attention.

Nowadays anything above a 6.5 has such a high consideration of herself to let you "monopolize" her for a couple of minutes, happened the same thing to me regarding the rejected call followed from a "whazzup?" text.

And in all honesty I like texting myself more for the same reason, I can keep surfing some bodybuilding site or a softcore one while planning the following date.

 

[PapiChulo]

Calling doesnt matter anymore in certain situations. I used to be a strong supporter of calling, but it seems it is better to text now and easier for both parties. Younger people cant speak on the phone anymore, even more with strangers from POF. They get nervous and plastered, and you are more likely to screw up and ruin your chances going out with you. I ve called one woman who had a drunken stupor while in the bar, needless to say it went bad and turned me off. I ve called a few women and they were actually surprised that I call, like it is a thing of the past or something.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I strictly TEXT. I don't call a girl until after I've had sex with her. No exceptions.

Don't care if that is "WEAK" or not. Works for me.

 

[bigneil]

Asked for and received a girl's number from online dating site. I *called* her. During our conversation she, out of the blue, said: "By the way, I like that you actually called me, most guys don't do that these days."

My point is this: if a girl gives you her number it is because she wants to talk with you. Many guys think it takes balls to call or talk to a girl so they wuss out by texting - it's easy, they don't have to get nervous, etc. Let me tell you what it is: WEAK.

If the girl asks you to call and you don't, that might be weak, but nowadays complete relationships can be handled via text. Especially with younger women. Ideally she will call you, but I personally rarely call, unless I haven't spoken to her in a long time.

 

[PlayHer Man]

You are the MAN, you set the rules.

If you prefer texting, you text. If you prefer calling, you call. You can't make everyone happy. Some women will be happier if you call, others will be happier if you text. Make up your own rules, and stick with them. However, remember that the best rules have exceptions to them, and sometimes you might have to break them.

For example, if you decide that you will only text to set the first date and not bother yourself with calling, then good for you, do so. However, if you get a girl's number and she explicitly says she can't stand texting, you might want to consider breaking your own rule for this one, and give her a call instead.

You were spot on until that last sentence bro.

NO, NO, NO! You never compromise your values to appease a woman. This is what gets men in trouble over and over again. It starts small.. giving into small sh!t... then before you know it you are a typical p*ssy whipped faggot.

If a woman doesn't believe in sex before the 3rd date, but the guy she goes out with explicitly says: "I really don't like it when women wait later than the first date to have sex".. will she say.. "Oh.. I guess I'll make an exception for you then". F*CK NO she won't.

Be a man. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. End of story. Its the woman's job to change for the man, not the other way around. This is why men keep their last name in marriage and women give up theirs.

 

[Darth]

lol you're 41 bro. You can use the "back in my day.." line when calling but i've called and alot of girls don't answer and text you back asking what you want.
lame.

Next. She might as well wear a neon sign that says, "I am stupid." Great way to screen, for me at least.

NO, NO, NO! You never compromise your values to appease a woman. This is what gets men in trouble over and over again. It starts small.. giving into small sh!t... then before you know it you are a typical p*ssy whipped faggot.

Be a man. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. End of story. Its the woman's job to change for the man, not the other way around. This is why men keep their last name in marriage and women give up theirs.

:flowers:

Bingo. Whatever your values are, do not break them.

 

[Larry Lurex]

I text because I like to text flirtatiously (with varying degrees, depending on the target) at the outset, when they are at work. There is nothing else more exciting for a woman than to receive suggestive texts at work.

Receiving such texts are as thrilling as receiving a random bouquet of flowers in front of everyone at the office. The intention is to boost the ego of the woman, and make her feel good about herself. As such, calling would be impractical to achieve my means of building up any tension.

Be patient for her reply. Let it sink in her mind that someone finds her attractive, and it helps that you are a high-value person yourself.

If they don't like it, fine. She's hard to please. Move on to the next one.

If you manage to spark interest, she WILL respond in due time and she WILL initiate the first call. Thus I never call - texting works fine for me. My phone bill would be running in the four figures if I did.

 

[DonJuanabe]

First, I date women 8-12 years younger than me. Second, texting is used because it is a) convenient and b) for many guys a crutch because they are scared and nervous about calling a girl. Third, I call because a) I have a very easy time conversing with women and *making them laugh* - this is important because I'm not in the eye candy selection of guys doing online dating - I'm attractive enough to get numbers but can't rely solely on looks so I have to use my speaking ability to my advantage. Fourth, establishing rapport and making a girl laugh via phone call prior to date helps set the tone for the date itself - it carries over. In fact, you will often have insight about this because you've broken the ice already and when you give her a hug when you meet her, she is more likely to give you a sign of interest by pushing her t*ts into your chest. Fifth, calling makes you stand out compared to most guys, and with online dating that matters a lot. If you want to be like everyone else that's your right, but you're being foolish. If a girl's initial impression of you is that you do your own thing in a confident and strong manner you are far ahead of the pack.

 

[pdx1138]

I had a 3 month serious relationship with a girl and we never spoke on the phone during those 3 months. Just text only.

I don't have unlimited minutes and she didn't either.

We both hated wasting phone minutes and would
rather converse in person or over text.

Another girl I dated for 2 months last summer, same story.

One was 30, the other 26. I'm 39.

 

[DonJuanabe]

I'll make this clear since it might not be clear: I am strictly referring to calling a girl to ask her on a *first date*, not in general. I text a great deal with people I know, whether friends, colleagues, dating, whatever. It is fast and convenient. The point is that calling a girl to ask her on a *first date* stands out compared to texting her for a first date. Initial impression matters and there is a lot of strategy behind a phone call for the first date.

You don't just say "Hi, how's it going? Cool. Hey, so why don't we meet up at XYZ." On the first date she does not know you and in many cases will be nervous. There is no rapport when you first meet. Moreover, she might feel reserved simply because there are other people around. A phone conversation where she is, for example, in her apartment, allows her to feel at ease. You don't use the call for the simple purpose of providing a location. You use it to get her to feel comfortable and to laugh and really anticipate meeting you beyond how she already felt.

If that's not something you can do then stick with texting or get out of your comfort zone and learn how to do it.

 

[buzzin_frog]

This. There is so much out of date advice I took from this site that made me look like a fool. And yes, calling a girl you barely know is one of them.

The times they are a-Changin'

Texting is better because most of the time you call at the wrong time or when she is busy. Most chicks text anyway. There are vey few credible men on this site who give good advice. And the rest you should take with a grain of salt. Most of the time you are better off learning from your own mistakes rather than listening to someone else. And then changing what you are doing wrong until you get it right. Because you can keep making the same ones listening to the wrong advice.

 

[VladPatton]

All depends on the rapport established when you initially met. Women just love the damn texting, and when you call and they don't pick up and then text you with a message you feel stupid. IF you say "hey I'll call you on Tuesday" when you last spoke with her face to face, then you call, it's easy. People did date and reproduce before cell phones, so do whatever works for you in 2013.