Texting vs Calling in 2013 - after getting a number

[HappyHarryHardon]

I am getting confused. Almost everywhere I look these days, everyone is glued to their phones. Everyones head is facing down toward their phone, while they're walking, sitting, trains/buses, even at work on lunch breaks!

I've recently been getting a few numbers and I'm starting to wonder what the best way to contact is these days. It's almost like girls don't like to receive calls anymore. I mean I have nothing against texting, I enjoy it too and even probably wouldn't mind just using that instead for a while. I do enjoy phone calls too though. But for the first contact after getting the number, what is recommended these days? Does texting really hurt/affect the game? If they like you why would it matter which way you contact them, right?

I sometimes even feel like just texting them the same day, at night, saying "Nice meeting you. Catch up soon " - But I don't because I've always been told it's desperate and too soon (in reality I don't think it's true. What's the harm in a text the same day? what, I have no life and I must be desperate because I texted them? Instead of calling? And on the same day?) - why can't it just be easy? Send a text saying "Hey, let's catch up on blah blah." her: "Okay, sure!" and done deal. Always gotta think of this that what if blah blah. Turns me off from chasing girls.

Texting vs calling, does it really make a difference if the girl likes you?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I am getting confused. Almost everywhere I look these days, everyone is glued to their phones. Everyones head is facing down toward their phone, while they're walking, sitting, trains/buses, even at work on lunch breaks!

I've recently been getting a few numbers and I'm starting to wonder what the best way to contact is these days. It's almost like girls don't like to receive calls anymore. I mean I have nothing against texting, I enjoy it too and even probably wouldn't mind just using that instead for a while. I do enjoy phone calls too though. But for the first contact after getting the number, what is recommended these days? Does texting really hurt/affect the game? If they like you why would it matter which way you contact them, right?

I sometimes even feel like just texting them the same day, at night, saying "Nice meeting you. Catch up soon " - But I don't because I've always been told it's desperate and too soon (in reality I don't think it's true. What's the harm in a text the same day? what, I have no life and I must be desperate because I texted them? Instead of calling? And on the same day?) - why can't it just be easy? Send a text saying "Hey, let's catch up on blah blah." her: "Okay, sure!" and done deal. Always gotta think of this that what if blah blah. Turns me off from chasing girls.

Texting vs calling, does it really make a difference if the girl likes you?

When you text a girl that you don't really know, your texts should always be ACTION-ORIENTATED. Don't send open-ended "hey what's up?" or other meaningless type of texts. Leave those for her girlfriends to send her.

If you send her a text, make it count.

 

[Uncharted]

If I meet someone new and get their number, I always text something like this a few hours later:

"(her name) - nice meeting you tonight/today - (my name)"

Unless it's out at a bar, then I usually do that when I'm on the way home. That way when I call to ask her out she has my number. I try to avoid texting at all costs, especially about asking her out - unless that's the only way I can get ahold of her.

If I haven't heard from her the day of the date, sometimes I will text something like "hey I'm going to be a little late tonight" or if she texts me that day I will respond with short messages. Girls have sometimes flaked through text back this way, but it's better to know earlier than later that way you can make alternate plans.

 

[bigneil]

Nowadays calling is obsolete, and many young women will think you are stalking them if you call. Let them call you (and as Carlos Xuma says, avoid two-way cell phone talks, preferring land lines, as there is a slight delay and it's just not smooth, plus you might get cut off and not know what happened).

I usually text the next day and am sure to sign my name so they know who it is and can (hopefully) program me in.

 

[Vigs]

I never attempt to set up a first date on a text. You are an impersonal block of words that she can easily deny without feeling bad.

With calling at least you are a person at that point. Also you know faster if she is going or not....thats if she answers.

I tried texting for awhile but the flake rate between a call and a text is just too noticable.

 

[HedoRick]

I never attempt to set up a first date on a text. You are an impersonal block of words that she can easily deny without feeling bad.

With calling at least you are a person at that point. Also you know faster if she is going or not....thats if she answers.

I tried texting for awhile but the flake rate between a call and a text is just too noticable.

I totally agree with this. I used to get flaked on all the time, until I started picking up the phone and calling. Trying to build rapport over text is a lengthy process, that led to fail in quite a few instances for me anyways... The again, I am dating older women. I imagine the 18-22 crowd would require text game mostly.

 

[HedoRick]

I used to use the "**** or get off the pot" approach by asking them out via the first couple of texts. The amount of chicks that got off the pot bothered me enough to try something else.

However these women lately have been online chicks. The rapport cannot really be established online all that well. You have to build some sort of value in order for them to want to meet you. Then again, there's also the STD ridden chicks that are DTF. **** or get off the pot works well with them.

I guess I should have clarified further in my post, that in person pickups, **** or get off the pot approach works better. Online chicks, build some rapport unless they are the DTF hoes.

There's no cut and dry answer, in my opinion it is more situational.

 

[DonJuanabe]

It also depends how you got the number.

If you got it in person then I think texting is better than calling. Presumably you had a conversation with the girl, established some amount of rapport, and she has sufficient interest to give you her number.

If you got it online (online dating) then I think calling is better. You have not had an actual conversation with the girl and emails are basically long text messages anyway. If you have the ability to hold a conversation that is funny and friendly you are doing yourself a favor by calling her. If you can't hold a conversation because you're pathetic then don't do it. Additionally, since many guys default to texting because it is easier for them than to actually have to ad lib a conversation, women can be impressed by the phone call if the conversation goes well.

 

[j0504s]

I always call and leave a msg if they don't pick up...it works very well for me...my rule is always give the girl a nick name so u can work off that.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Yeah we have definitely built rapport and are interested in each other. Walked and talked, bit of touchy kino etc. I might just text her so she has my number at least. Then tell her to meet me for a coffee or something. I never understood that 2-3 day rule too much, I believe they wouldn't feel the same about you anymore after waiting so long. Better to catch them while the feelings are still fresh from the time you got their number no?

 

[BeDJ]

Text to remind them who you are. Give them a call to hang out if they text back. Next them if they don't return with a call/text.

 

[Trump]

I am getting confused. Almost everywhere I look these days, everyone is glued to their phones. Everyones head is facing down toward their phone, while they're walking, sitting, trains/buses, even at work on lunch breaks!

I sometimes even feel like just texting them the same day, at night, saying "Nice meeting you. Catch up soon " - But I don't because I've always been told it's desperate and too soon (in reality I don't think it's true. What's the harm in a text the same day? what, I have no life and I must be desperate because I texted them? Instead of calling? And on the same day?) - why can't it just be easy? Send a text saying "Hey, let's catch up on blah blah." her: "Okay, sure!" and done deal. Always gotta think of this that what if blah blah. Turns me off from chasing girls.

Texting vs calling, does it really make a difference if the girl likes you?

I would say call right away at the beginning. Texting has too many unknowns in the initial stages. Once you have settled in with her then you can text.

You send a text saying "What's up, wanna go for a drink?" She shows her boyfriend the text to increase her value with him. She doesn't care about you, she only cares what she can get out of you. Be very careful with texts.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Texting KILLS relationships.

Click the link in my signature - I have a free eBook out with 10 reasons why texting can cause you to lose women.

As for your other worries, let me just say this: in my experience, the girls that have a high interest in you will not forget who you are. You could call them in a week, a month, a year, etc. and they'll know who you are. Real talk: I had a friend who had a girl friend I was interested in, and contacted her on facebook to get her number. She replied with the number... and then I got back with my ex-gf for a few months, so I didn't contact her. When I stopped dating my ex again, I hit up the other girl in February, and not only was did she remember me, but she was jumping at the bit to meet up with me.

In case you weren't counting, that's FOUR months between when I got the number and when I CALLED her up for a date.

So, all this stuff you hear about having to call a girl the next day or else she'll forget you is pure B.S.. Don't be so desperate - I waited 4 months; waiting 3 days isn't a long enough time to forget you UNLESS SHE DOESN'T HAVE HIGH INTEREST IN YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Hope this helps!

 

[rhythmic]

I'm really not a fan of text-based communication, especially not text messaging or the dreaded Facebook. I keep my texts very short and to the point, with maybe very rare funny/mocking replies.

I much prefer talking on the phone - blocks and blocks of text are very impersonal and time consuming! A voice is more personal, plus a phone call puts the woman on the back foot because these days they are accustomed to guys using weak, non-committal texting. Screw that.

Harry, your site is so good. Loads of great stuff on there, so props on that! One question though: What did you say to the girl after four months of not contacting her?

 

[buzzin_frog]

Ok... You don't call a girl every second of the day. So why would you text them every second of the day? It doesn't make a difference as long you don't overdo any of it. I prefer to call but a text is just as good if you prefer to text. Girls with high interest will be receptive to your calls and your texts because they ARE interested in you.

the girls that have a high interest in you will not forget who you are.

Correct. And a text won't ruin the high interest either.

Click the link in my signature - I have a free eBook out with 10 reasons why texting can cause you to lose women.

Nice plug...The eBook sucks btw

 

[Zerro]

Texting vs calling, does it really make a difference if the girl likes you?

If she likes you then it won't matter. If she doesn't like you then it won't matter either.

I never attempt to set up a first date on a text. You are an impersonal block of words that she can easily deny without feeling bad.

With calling at least you are a person at that point. Also you know faster if she is going or not....thats if she answers.

I tried texting for awhile but the flake rate between a call and a text is just too noticable.

If she's going to flake then she's going to flake, the method of contact matters little. You can say "in my experience" but I can counter with that I've had a much higher success rate setting up dates over text, FB, and even email than over the phone. Is either of us more correct than the other?

 

[old_skoolr]

I prefer texting, only because, I have the mindset that like me, the girl thats worth my attention might be busy and unable to answer my phonecall. Whether at work or at home with family, it'd be awkward for her to recieve a call from the guy she hooked up with while shes with her family lol.

Though at the end of the day, it up to, each person has their own style that suits them best