Texting Nightmare

socjim86

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
14
Reaction score
1
Hey all what's up? I'm new to this site and didn't really fully read the rules about repeating threads so sorry if this is a repeat but I really need some advice (and am hoping at least half the responses I get are from successful males who have really crafted their game).
I met a girl at a party last weekend. We were chatting and she had to leave to go to work the next morning (She wasn't lying, she really did have to). I soon began texting her, and even got our conversations (rather quickly I might add) to transition into a fun and playful atmosphere. She even ended up saying that she'd let me know when comes back to the place where I party (the guys down the hall from me, I practically live there), and that she facebook creeped my profile pictures (though strangely no friend request). Yesterday I text her saying "Bored in class, tell me a good joke". No response. Thought things were going well. I am not sure where to go from here. Should I back off and just wait it out for a bit (perhaps she will show up this weekend to party again), be up front and ask if I'm bugging her or something? Should I come up with a playful whitty way to tease her for not responding to me? Keep in mind that option #3, while seeming the best, is still the very ACT of once again, being the initiator and texting her yet again, which I don't want to do too much. But I'm really into her. HELP!
 

LuisGarcia10

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
311
Reaction score
8
Location
England
Ok, firstly don't text her unless you have anything useful to say, "bored in class, text me a joke" translates as, "can't stop thinking about you, I want conversation," which, I assume is probably the case?
The very fact that you are asking for advice about a girl that you have met once, not even kissed, and have simply pinged a few texts back and forth suggests to me you have little experience with women?!
You already care far too much, I promise you of you keep this ip you'll push her away, if she was as into you as you are her, shed have replied by now. Whenever you text someone something pointless it means you're thinking about them, otherwise you wouldn't e testing them, make sense? So what you are doing is already showing her you like her, that you have a lot of time on your hands and that you want to speak to her as much as possible, this is an attraction killer.
In regards to where to go from here? Do not text her again unless she texts you, which she probably will at some stage. Defibately do not text her asking if you're bugging her, I promise you all that does is scream desperate and needy. Just delete her number, pretend she doesn't exist and if she likes you she will be in contact, under no circumstances persist with any more texts because it will be a complete waste of time.
And seriously, stop caring so much. If this is how you are with a girl you've met once then you'll be a nightmare after having sex with them a few times!
Don't take this as harsh, just i speak from experience, I've messed up a few good things by caring too much!
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,115
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
So you met her, in-person, at a party. You chatted her up. You got her number.

Why are you chit-chatting on text instead of asking her to meet you for a drink?

I believe in the use of text for setting up meetings, and MAYBE building some rapport every couple of days. I hate the idea of long, ongoing text conversations that have no purpose and go nowhere. They waste time, and they eliminate all mystery/desire.

But all that other bullsh*t aside, here's the bottom line....a number means absolutely nothing. I could get a girl's number on saturday...hell, I could make out with her in public....and by Monday, she might not return my phone call. That's just how it goes. Girls are flakey. Learn to live with it. That's why we preach the value of plate-spinning. Keep as many girls in your rotation as possible. And let the quality girls set themselves apart from the rest of the pack.
 

Chamber36

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
1,560
Reaction score
288
Location
Amsterdam
dude it sounds like you're thoroughly going to **** this up if you're so upset over not getting a reply.

When you can't do without a reply, you will only get an answer text if the girl is even more insecure than you are. So if she even replies to whatever following text you send, she is DTF. You will have to take her out on a date or 2 first though. And make sure you don't force LMR. She might really want an LTR. So don't waste too much time texting. Just use it to check up on her and to set up a date with her. You shouldn't be texting her for an ego boost.

Whatever you're doing though, don't get upset. Just text her positive texts and don't get upset if she doesn't reply. It doesn't matter if she didn't reply because she was busy and forgot or whether you said something ****ed up.

Just keep it positive yeah, but don't kiss her ass.

TBH I would bet 20 euro's that she won't be replying to your texts within the next few years. The only way I see it happening is if you work on yourself as a man for a few years and completely forget about her/learn to consider it a productive, positive experience. If you come back new and improved, or even transformed, she will suddenly be attracted.

But for now, the next 2 years, I would forget about this girl.
 

movistar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 19, 2004
Messages
208
Reaction score
7
I would have to dissagree with most of the comments about text here. I use texting almost exclusively to communicate, I may just be really adept at it but within a day or two I have chicks ready to blow upon site, and they normally do. I am also pretty fit and send pictures over text which gets them pretty excited.

I met a girl this summer lived in another state, we used (word with friends)iphone texting to keep in contact cause she had a boyfriend she didn't want to see the texts.
When she came to visit, she was blowing me with 20 minutes of us being alone...

Got one set up from match dot com this weekend.. I've only spoken to her once on the phone all other contact has been text. She already has told me she cant wait to find out how I taste.... She's gonna find out on friday, and I'll let you know;)
 

Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
862
Reaction score
58
movistar said:
I would have to dissagree with most of the comments about text here. I use texting almost exclusively to communicate, I may just be really adept at it but within a day or two I have chicks ready to blow upon site, and they normally do. I am also pretty fit and send pictures over text which gets them pretty excited.

I met a girl this summer lived in another state, we used (word with friends)iphone texting to keep in contact cause she had a boyfriend she didn't want to see the texts.
When she came to visit, she was blowing me with 20 minutes of us being alone...

Got one set up from match dot com this weekend.. I've only spoken to her once on the phone all other contact has been text. She already has told me she cant wait to find out how I taste.... She's gonna find out on friday, and I'll let you know;)
Oh man. Are you one of those "Takes pictures of himself flexing in the bathroom mirror" guys?

I mostly use text to communicate too. It's faster, and I don't have to stop cooking/working out/watching movies to communicate.

But with women, I rarely text without a purpose. If I go on a date, maybe I'll set it up by saying "Let's do drinks this Wed." And maybe a few days after, I'll keep some rapport by saying something funny about the night "...I can't believe you drink those girly ****tails." Some shyt like that. But a lot of these guys are the type who have conversations like:

Guy: Hey what's up
Girl: Nothin, u?
Guy: Chillin. Watchin TV.
(Guy waits 45 minutes for a response....)
Girl: Oh fun! What u watchin?

I see stuff like that, and I'm like...god damn...who has time for this? Set up a date, or say something quick and funny, and then END it. Stop having these long, pointless, old married couple conversations on text.

Maybe you have skills at text. But lots of these guys don't. So it's just easier to tell them to use text for quick purposes like setting up dates, rather then have them wasting time texting some female all day.
 

socjim86

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
14
Reaction score
1
Overall, I'd have to say that this is all a little ridiculous. I understand not wanting to look needy, but can't we all just be adults instead of playing this Hard to get BS?
Don't text or say anything truthful or somewhat emotional, you will look needy. Make it seem like you have a lot of other women to choose from to make her jelous.
Don't text unless you have a purpose. Blah blah blah.....
I am not going to send her anything anymore, but remember, women are in my experience, texting *****s through and through.
Besides, texting with a purpose is fine, I have no issue with that, but then if I did that and then she was hesitant about meeting up or something, I'd be right back here complaining about that and everyone would be telling me the opposite. Like "You should have baited her in instead of being too eager" or something. Seriously, it shouldn't be this complicated and hard. Then again, I am not new to dealing with women, just new to this DJ approach.
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,115
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
socjim86 said:
Besides, texting with a purpose is fine, I have no issue with that, but then if I did that and then she was hesitant about meeting up or something, I'd be right back here complaining about that and everyone would be telling me the opposite. Like "You should have baited her in instead of being too eager" or something. Seriously, it shouldn't be this complicated and hard. Then again, I am not new to dealing with women, just new to this DJ approach.

If you met a girl at a party, sat down with her, and had enough good conversation to get her number, then no....I would not call you "too eager" for simply texting her something like:

"Hey (girl). It's (you). How was your night after the party? What are you up to Wednesday? I was thinking about going to happy hour."

What is that gonna do....scare her away? A guy who she gave her number to at a party would like to meet for drinks. If that was "too much" or "too eager" for her, then she's a child, and you have no time for her.
 

tafakna

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
207
Reaction score
12
socjim86 said:
Overall, I'd have to say that this is all a little ridiculous. I understand not wanting to look needy, but can't we all just be adults instead of playing this Hard to get BS?
Don't text or say anything truthful or somewhat emotional, you will look needy. Make it seem like you have a lot of other women to choose from to make her jelous.
Don't text unless you have a purpose. Blah blah blah.....
People are only trying to help you as they had the same experience in the past. Like it or not, time will tell this is how it works.

And this is how it works BOTH ways by the way. You're more interested because she's acting aloof... If she was texting you all day long, after a few weeks you wouldn't stand her...
 

Alex DeLarge

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
845
Reaction score
25
Don't text her out of boredom. Text to set up dates, then.. Like the dude a few posts above said.. Maybe build some rapport through texting from things that happened on the date.
 

Ease

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
1,325
Reaction score
51
Dont hate on another mans game if it is working for him.

movistar said:
I would have to dissagree with most of the comments about text here. I use texting almost exclusively to communicate, I may just be really adept at it but within a day or two I have chicks ready to blow upon site, and they normally do. I am also pretty fit and send pictures over text which gets them pretty excited.

I met a girl this summer lived in another state, we used (word with friends)iphone texting to keep in contact cause she had a boyfriend she didn't want to see the texts.
When she came to visit, she was blowing me with 20 minutes of us being alone...

Got one set up from match dot com this weekend.. I've only spoken to her once on the phone all other contact has been text. She already has told me she cant wait to find out how I taste.... She's gonna find out on friday, and I'll let you know;)
Give us a transcript of a typical convo and **** you might say as an example. I want to learn this texting thing.
 

Deadly_Ripped

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2003
Messages
626
Reaction score
26
Texters gonna text...

I personally avoid texting until I've gotten balls deep. It leaves too much to be mis-read, ignored, unanswered, delivered in untimely fashion, etc.
 

movistar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 19, 2004
Messages
208
Reaction score
7
Mantis Toboggan said:
Oh man. Are you one of those "Takes pictures of himself flexing in the bathroom mirror" guys?

I AM one of those guys, with certain chicks. But I disguise it so I don't come off as one of those guys. I will tell them to send me a pic, they will say well send me one... Then I reply "well I was trying to get in shape and only have a recent pic with my shirt off is that ok?" bam! They see the abs and their next response is always damn! Ur hot when are we going to hook up?! It has worked on chicks from 22-40. I've only been I shape for about a year now, and has helped tremendously.

Fellas do yourself this favor... Get in top shape!
 
Top