Texting me back with 1 liners

[GhengisT]

Hey guys,

I've been talking to a girl over the past few weeks. She's a former co-worker, so we've known eachother a few years. I invited her to a mutual friends BBQ/Party, which went very well. I think she wanted to kiss me that night, but she was drunker than I was, so I returned the kiss on the cheek she gave me, and played it cool. Next day she's texting me a lot. Tells me she had an amazing wknd, I said I did too. I let a couple days go by, called her & invited her kayaking. We kayak all day, followed by lunch. By the end of the day, were so tired were not too conversational.

I'm thinking the date went bad, but she surprises me w/ a comment on my FB wall saying "had a lot of fun today ". The next day she txts me happy easter, so I kick off some convo. She tells me she's surprised her arms aren't sore, had a really good time thanks for everything. My intoxicated dumb@ss responds w/ "haha yeah, good friends are hard to come by, we'll def. do something again soon.. out w/ the boys ill catch up with you later". She responds "K. Have fun & have gnite"

I know I effed up w/ the friends comment, I wait two days & call her- a bit of casual convo about how her week's going, then ask her if she wants to go downtown this weekend, dinner & dancing. She agrees to Saturday night, w/o hesitation, seems excited too. Told her I'd call her Friday.

A day later, I want to let her know she's on my mind in my quirky way, so I text her "serious question- spongebob or spiderman?" (Which I think is better than "hey I'm wearing spongebob boxers!") I was trying to make her laugh I guess. Were both 24yrs old.

Her: "spongebob why?"
Me: i was shopping, needed ur fashion opinion
Her: Uhu
Me: yohoo? Are you going salsa dancing tonite? (She goes wed nights)
Her: I am (3hrs later)

I know I'm over analysing, but w-tee-eff. She's been very talkative via text, so I'm thinking my quirky question may have done me in.. should I bother w/ sat, or NEXT her?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

1 liner = she is not interested/she is with the next dude

 

[GhengisT]

We're supposed to go out Saturday night. Should I cancel, or just assume she was busy last night?

My bro says I should tell her Friday, and smash it, but I don't wanna give her satisfaction of her 1 liners getting to me.

 

[Rubato]

We're supposed to go out Saturday night. Should I cancel, or just assume she was busy last night?

My bro says I should tell her Friday, and smash it, but I don't wanna give her satisfaction of her 1 liners getting to me.

If you're seriously spinning plates, this shouldn't be an issue because your other options will give you much less of a reason to worry about any one option. You are getting bent out of shape about "signs" putting meaning in things that you have absolutely no way of knowing whether they have any merit to them or not. You wanna know how to find out if a girl is in to you? If you can make out with the girl, she's in to you. If you can buy her dinner or take her on a date, who the h*ll knows? But if she'll let you get sexual with her, you definitely know that there is at least some interest present.

You probably know what it feels like for a girl to be totally in to a guy, and you probably wouldn't have posted here if you felt like she was totally in to you. You would be wise to accept the maxim "trust the gut".

I don't think you screwed anything up with your friends comment. What you did was accidentally perform a tactic we call "push/pull". You essentially preemptively disqualified the girl with your words as relationship material/something f*ckable (ie, rejection) while your actions are demonstrating otherwise, and this is powerful sh*t for a girl. I wouldn't worry about that comment, I would just make sure to reinforce with your actions the next time you see her that you do not see her as "just a friend".

As far as women go, what you will learn is that words do not mean very much and are a convenient tool for women to rationalize the things society scourges them for doing and for men to rationalize the things they wish they actually were doing. What you should focus on instead are her actions. And you have a few indicators of interest from the girl. She went on more than one date with you. She kissed you. She (it sounds like) preemptively texts you to talk about the fun she had with you.

I would say that if you screwed anything up (which remains to be seen because you really haven't tested the waters here) would have been when you didn't go for the kiss on the lips (a cheek kiss is a cop out kiss of a friends kiss), when you didn't get sexual with her on the kayaking date (dude, you were in water, possibly in bathing suits, doing a physical activity. You could have pushed her out of her kayak, gotten in the water with her, put your arms around her, told her how sh*tty she is at kayaking and use your arms on hers to "teach" her how to do it right... there are soooooooooo many opportunities here!) and when you felt the need to text her to let her know she's on your mind. Dude, who cares whether she's on your mind? She should be sitting at home stewing about it, freaking out about whether Ghengis is thinking about her! Definitely not the opposite. Give her the gift of missing you! (this is also easier to do if you're spinning plates)

What to do from here?

Don't call her or talk to her anymore unless she initiates it. Verify that your plans are still good a few hours before your date Saturday night. If they are, go.

And if you do go, you're gonna have to f*cking sexually escalate with this girl. Don't overanalyze it because if you do, it will come off sketchy and creepy. Don't think about it, just do it. You're a man. You have many generations of genes in you with all of the necessary information required to make a girl hott for you. Accept the fact that you might be uncomfortable with it, but you have to do it, because that's the only way to know if the girl is really in to you. It's better to attempt to sexually escalate and be sketchy about it than it is not to do it at all. If you don't do it, you will be her friend and out some cash. If you do do it, even if its sketchy, she could be receptive. If some girl wanted to get fresh with you but was a little uncomfortable with it, would it stop you from going? H*ll no! If she has interest, it won't matter.

She'll let a friend buy her dinner or take her kayaking (I would let a friend do that for me) but she probably won't let a friend make out with her. This is where you're failing. You take a girl out and show her a great time, but if you don't get sexual with her, you're just another friend she gets free stuff out of. Part of human intersexual relationships are the formation of pair bonds, and those bonds, at least the ones you want, are not going to get formed because you two had a good time together.

I don't see any reason for a hit and run here unless she starts treating you disrespectfully or if you are successful, doesn't start displaying a higher level of interest. If you get sexual with her, you have an option. Why would you go seek out an option just to throw it away? Don't do that unless you have a reason.

 

[GhengisT]

Rubato has spoken like a true DJ!

F***ing amazing!!!

There's merit to me not kissing her the first night-
1. All the girls at that party we're eating out of the palm of my hand (helps when you're best dressed, excellent communicator)

2. My dumb@ss friend was way too drunk- of course he thinks because he got a number, he can just walk up & try to force a makeout with her. He's got balls though- but she swiftly rejected him. I wasn't about to swap spit with him under those circumstances.

 

[nismo-4]

But if she's slvtty enough you might b able to hit it and quit it.

There's a better chance of somebody on this board winning the Powerball Lottery. :rock:

As for your question, this girl is either:

1. Not interested in you

2. A princess in another castle.

Regardless, move on and spin more plates. Judge nismo's orders.

Case closed.

 

[bigneil]

Has anyone else noticed that in this day and age, you can measure a woman's interest level by their text messaging statistics?

1) Average time to reply (in minutes).
2) Number of messages per day, average.
3) Number of words per day, average (nothing says high interest like 4 part messages).
4) Number of initiations per week (first text of the day).
5) Number of "text days" per week (that you communicate).
6) Use of keywords such as "excited", "horny", "<3", etc...
7) Number of sexy photos texted by her (you should get at least one!)

I was thinking we could write a computer program that takes text history as input and outputs (real time, daily) interest level, with graphs.

 

[spinaroonie]

Fellas, when it comes to texting proceed with caution.

You can’t text your way into a girl's pants, but you can text your way out.

Excellent article on phone & texting:

http://postmasculine.com/phone-numbers

 

[GhengisT]

There's a better chance of somebody on this board winning the Powerball Lottery. :rock:

As for your question, this girl is either:

1. Not interested in you

2. A princess in another castle.

Regardless, move on and spin more plates. Judge nismo's orders.

Case closed.

I made a recovery guys! She texted me this afternoon, so I consulted w/ young don, and longtime friend. I asked if I should respond, he said ya & he coached me.

Her: I am (last night's 1 liner)
Her: so what did you end up doing yesterday

Me: Took a big step towards world domination what did u do?
Her: what was that?

Me: I wanna see you, Let's bump our date up a day, what time can I pick you up tomorrow ?
Her: Hey that sounds good. How bout tomorrow any time after 6. I have work till 530

Me: Ill be there at 7. Be ready for a fun night!
Her: Hahaha sounds like a plan

 

[r0cky]

Has anyone else noticed that in this day and age, you can measure a woman's interest level by their text messaging statistics?

1) Average time to reply (in minutes).
2) Number of messages per day, average.
3) Number of words per day, average (nothing says high interest like 4 part messages).
4) Number of initiations per week (first text of the day).
5) Number of "text days" per week (that you communicate).
6) Use of keywords such as "excited", "horny", "<3", etc...
7) Number of sexy photos texted by her (you should get at least one!)

I was thinking we could write a computer program that takes text history as input and outputs (real time, daily) interest level, with graphs.

Yeah like an app that measures a person's interest in you. Good idea.

 

[r0cky]

I made a recovery guys! She texted me this afternoon, so I consulted w/ young don, and longtime friend. I asked if I should respond, he said ya & he coached me.

Her: I am (last night's 1 liner)

Never measure a woman's interest level simply from one thing. She might be busy or in a bad mood, etc.

Her: so what did you end up doing yesterday
Me: Took a big step towards world domination what did u do?

Awesome line. This is what texting should be all about, rapport-breaking phrases.

Her: what was that?

Me: I wanna see you, Let's bump our date up a day, what time can I pick you up tomorrow ?

That was risky as hell. Only works when her interest level is very high.

Her: Hey that sounds good. How bout tomorrow any time after 6. I have work till 530

Me: Ill be there at 7. Be ready for a fun night!
Her: Hahaha sounds like a plan

Looks like this girl is into you and you should able to capitalize if you dont make any stupid moves.

 

[GhengisT]

Yeah I asked him if that usually works for him.. the risky "I wanna see you" part. He said who cares- you're gonna NEXT her if she doesn't bite anyway.. I said good point.

Considering she's already attempted to detour any potential competition by use of FB comment on my wall "had a really good time today" and a picture of us. I think she's been flexible enough per Anti-Dump's Machine & I might have a keeper.

 

[Rubato]

You handled that text exchange well. That line was risky, but your friend was right. It was a solid gauge of interest and she's interested. So now, the only thing left to do is....

Sexually escalate! No excuses now... you know she likes you

Hit it!

 

[GhengisT]

Aiiight- here's an update.

Picked her up at 7pm. Went to bowling/billards/brewery (yeah we have one of those). Played a game of pool while we waited for a lane. I kicked her ass in pool & bowling. Then it was time to head downtown. I missed the onramp to the freeway & she asked me how close my work was, so i told her we'd drive by. Luckily for me we have a Spanish theme garden/patio "I wanted to show her. Finally closed the kissed! She had been waiting.

We went downtown, had sushi at a semi romantic place. It was packed so the patio worked out well for convo. Drove a bit further downtown, and went to a favorite spot. Turns out my friend was DJ so i got some social brownie points there. She bought the first 3 rounds of drinks, I got the last couple. A lot of heavy petting, making out, she loved the @$$ on crotch dancing. She told me she was gonna smack me after the 10th time of grabbing her @$$ tho.

After a couple hours we have to leave, she tells me there's something she's been wanting to ask me- "how long ago did you <name > break up?"

Me- I don't really want to talk about it
Her- just tell me
Me- grabs her for a kiss- what's it matter?
Her- just tell me!
Me- a few months ago (4 yr relationship, they had met once at a company party when we worked together)
Her- how long ago !?
Me- you think I'm rebounding or something?
Her- no, i m just curious.
Me- about 3 months, but we checked out about 6 months ago.

It was a good opportunity to put her on the spot, asked her when her last BF was. She said she broke up w/ him in Feb because he had a kid that she didn't tell him about (then she went on to tell me how she loves kids, and has very motherly nature, but not to somebody else's kid) I can respect that at age 24.

We made it back to my car and made out for a good 10-15. I went down the ear, down the neck, grabbed a handful of booty, but was promptly rejected. I suggested back seat as my center console was in the way, NO DICE. She was being a good girl tonight, but a lot of tongue on tongur, plus she went after my ear & neck a couple times. Got her back to her pad ( I live an hour away), little more make out, and bam. No more female, dam it.

She's a cool chick. Def. LTR material. Figured I would follow up with her in the later morning. I don't think the 2-3 day follow up rule applies here, she been flexible & open to all dates, plus we've been friends for 4+ yrs.

 

[SMS 48]

Your posts are kind of incomprehensible. First you didn't explain what led to the first kiss. Second "an bam. No more female" - What does this even mean? The ***** evaporated?

 

[GhengisT]

ok, just remember its more likely than not/preponderance of the evidence that she has another guy and thats why she was being short with you. Watch yourself and take her off the pedestal(ltr material).

I agree. But I was surprised that she was questioning my Ex & how long since we split. Seemed like it was something she had been wanting to ask for a bit. Hints at genuine IL. Another thing that I feel changes my scenario- she's not a native of the US. Moved here from Guatemala when she was 15, so she lacks a lot of the narcissism I see in American girls, and comes with very traditional values.

What are your recommendations for follow-up?

Your posts are kind of incomprehensible. First you didn't explain what led to the first kiss. Second "an bam. No more female" - What does this even mean? The ***** evaporated?

It was dark out, little drizzle from raining prior, and when we made it to the patio, she said "wow your company takes care of you"

I responded "yeah- great benefits package too." grabbed her at the same time & went for it. started with a tamer, long kiss. let her escalate the tongue aspect of it.

As for "an bam. No more female"- we said our good nights. She said she had a lot of fun, and was going to sleep well tonight. I should have said "not as well as if you had gotten laid" but i remembered my forwardness is what killed it for me a couple years ago. That- and she knew I was still with my girl. I got wasted & pissed her off with a sexual innuendo. Didn't talk to her for 2yrs.. But that would be another story, which I don't remember too well. When I started talking to her a few weeks back, I apologized for being too forward, she accepted & said I seem much more mature now.