Texting game is horrible, guidance on what to do next please!!

[tomwesten27]

Went to the local beach for 4th of July with a large group of friends. Towards the very end of the night before the fireworks started my friend invited one of his girls he was seeing and she came with a friend. A solid HB8.

The 4 of us sat on a blanket, watched fireworks, the HB8 was very close to me, some small kino rubbing up against me, and she was very interested to getting to know me asking questions etc. Fireworks finished and we had to leave. I got her number and texted her my name because her phone was dead.

2 hours later I got a text from her:

HB: "Phones on again got your number, nice meeting you"
1hr later
Me: "nice meeting you too, yeah my phone just turned back on lol. lets get together again."
HB: Yes definitely, I know my phone barely turned back on not long ago. At least we saw fireworks lol before everyone had to take off, all the wait for 2 mins :0 .. "
Me: "yeah fireworks were good, the car situation was just ridiculous lol. lets do something soon." no response back, it was after 1am at this time.

Now its the next day (saturday) my friend might hit up the girls friend to set up a double date situation again tonight or tomorrow but if he doesn't what should be my next move??

Wait until sunday/monday and ask when she is free during the week? Please advice guys I am DONE making the wrong moves. THANKS!

 

[Bingo-Player]

Went to the local beach for 4th of July with a large group of friends. Towards the very end of the night before the fireworks started my friend invited one of his girls he was seeing and she came with a friend. A solid HB8.

The 4 of us sat on a blanket, watched fireworks, the HB8 was very close to me, some small kino rubbing up against me, and she was very interested to getting to know me asking questions etc. Fireworks finished and we had to leave. I got her number and texted her my name because her phone was dead.

2 hours later I got a text from her:

HB: "Phones on again got your number, nice meeting you"
1hr later
Me: "nice meeting you too, yeah my phone just turned back on lol. lets get together again."
HB: Yes definitely, I know my phone barely turned back on not long ago. At least we saw fireworks lol before everyone had to take off, all the wait for 2 mins :0 .. "
Me: "yeah fireworks were good, the car situation was just ridiculous lol. lets do something soon." no response back, it was after 1am at this time.

Now its the next day (saturday) my friend might hit up the girls friend to set up a double date situation again tonight or tomorrow but if he doesn't what should be my next move??

Wait until sunday/monday and ask when she is free during the week? Please advice guys I am DONE making the wrong moves. THANKS!

well sorry to break it but you've already made some

you ask this chick to do something again twice within 3 text messages ,a couple of hours after you met her :crazy:

come on man how needy does that come off

i know you probably didn't mean it to come across that way but it does

the better move to make would have been to have given her YOUR number and let her text you

this would have forced her to invest slightly in you if she was at all interested in you

im assuming she hasn't replied to your last text ? thats fine but being the strong independent man that you are , you have a 100 million better things to be doing than chasing this chick

get your friend to arrange another meeting and just be cool see what happens

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Kudos on getting the digits from a girl at the beach on the 4th, you're already one step ahead of most dudes who would have either given her HIS number or not asked for it altogether.

The fact that she hit you back as soon as her phone turned on is a GREAT sign. And, while I don't tend to recommend doing text convos ('cause, y'know... texting KILLS relationships), at least you were smart enough not to keep trying to message her when she didn't message you back. BTW, don't take her not messaging you back as a BAD sign - eventually, a text convo has to end, and some times you'll have the last word...

Anyway - how to handle this situation (and it's one I've been in a bunch of times when I get girls' numbers at parties):

1. Don't hit her up ti' Tuesday
2. On Tuesday, CALL her first. If she doesn't pick up, either leave a short message or leave a short text. Either way, contact her and say "Heeeey, i'm going to (insert activity: see a movie, eat at this new place, check out some spots downtown, going to a comedy show) on (have the day picked out) at (have the time picked out), and was hoping I could take you with me if you're free."
3. After you say this, SHUT UP. Let her answer. Even if there's a pregnant pause in there, don't say anything else until she gives some kind of answer. She'll answer one of three ways: yes (great!), no (sucks, but oh well it happens) or she'll ask for more info. If it's "yes" or "more info", it's all systems go!

Hope this helps!

 

[TheWho]

Went to the local beach for 4th of July with a large group of friends. Towards the very end of the night before the fireworks started my friend invited one of his girls he was seeing and she came with a friend. A solid HB8.

The 4 of us sat on a blanket, watched fireworks, the HB8 was very close to me, some small kino rubbing up against me, and she was very interested to getting to know me asking questions etc. Fireworks finished and we had to leave. I got her number and texted her my name because her phone was dead.

2 hours later I got a text from her:

HB: "Phones on again got your number, nice meeting you"
1hr later
Me: "nice meeting you too, yeah my phone just turned back on lol. lets get together again."
HB: Yes definitely, I know my phone barely turned back on not long ago. At least we saw fireworks lol before everyone had to take off, all the wait for 2 mins :0 .. "
Me: "yeah fireworks were good, the car situation was just ridiculous lol. lets do something soon." no response back, it was after 1am at this time.

Now its the next day (saturday) my friend might hit up the girls friend to set up a double date situation again tonight or tomorrow but if he doesn't what should be my next move??

Wait until sunday/monday and ask when she is free during the week? Please advice guys I am DONE making the wrong moves. THANKS!

This is what I would do but everyone is free and i'm Europe so its different. Calling to ask someone out here is still a bit awkward IMO.

Sunday during daytime is good to text (I don't like the waiting thing, im going to text some girl who gave me her number Satureday 0200h when i'm done playing The Sims 3 so aproximately Sunday 0100h)

I would just do some small talk and then suggest a place and a time.
Something like: "this friday 1900h at ***, does this work for you?"

Just had a simular convo. But she flawked some lunchdate during work so i dunno if she'll flawk again. Asking her out really reased her interest though.

 

[mustfirstregister]

My translation:

HB: my phone is back on. Nice meeting u.
Guy: nice meeting u 2. Let's hook up
HB: sure. Fireworks were great.
Guy: yeah. Let's hook up immediately

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Just had a simular convo. But she flawked some lunchdate during work so i dunno if she'll flawk again. Asking her out really reased her interest though.

Soooo... in other words, your advice to contact her the next day resulted in you NOT getting the date? Hmm, very interesting...

 

[goldengoose]

I'm not sure why you guys ask a girl out right after you get her number. You did it twice. Every guy that does that winds up with nothing because you come across as a desperate needy AFC. Her interest level goes down to 0 after that because she knows that you are her only option. She can treat you anyway she wants to now and you will do what she wants. She now has the upper hand.

Quit asking these girls out the same night. You saw that she had interest with her actions, she gave you her number, texted you. Text her for a couple of days, talk with her, then ask her out. Don't be in such a rush to ask them out when there is already interest. She isn't going anywhere man.

I disagree with all of Harry's advice. You already showed yourself to be really needy with this girl. She knows you're interested in going out. You don't want to keep asking her out. That would be three times. You need to get her thinking different about you. You need to change your frame from looking like a needy to a guy having options.

Don't leave a voicemail or text asking her out, that is weak beta stuff. Ask her out over the phone as you're talking to her. I would hold off on asking her out when you talk. Interested girls won't lose interest.

If your buddy is going to set something up, let him do the work. That way you can hang out still with her and break away from them with her during the date and do your own thing.

If you do end up calling her, don't ask for a date right away. Just talk to her first and set up a date the next time you talk to her. If you keep asking her out you're going to appear more needy. She ignored your last text. Get a conversation going first before you ask her out again. That way you can gauge her interest first before you ask her out.

Girls lose intersst fast in needy men. If you do what Harry says, you will appear even more needy and won't get a date at all. You need to appear as not a needy guy. Leaving her voicemails and texts asking her out after she ignored your previous text will make you even more needy.

If she wants to go out with you, she will bring it up. She already said yes to you in your first text. Don't be in such a rush with these girls. If they like you they aren't going anywhere. Take your time and don't be in a hurry to get them out.

Calling to ask someone out here is still a bit awkward IMO.

Before text messaging was invented, guys called the girls and asked them out over the phone. This shouldn't be awkward at all. If it's too awkward, you shouldn't even bother to ask anybody out.

 

[tomwesten27]

I am great when I am on the date, talking in person etc. When it comes to texting and what/when to text I am awful. Its an emotionless way to communicate but I am 27 and all the girls I date are between 23-28. So texting is first choice of communication.

With that said:

When we were watching fireworks she was trying to get my friend and I to stay and go out drinking. Even offering us a ride home but the car situation was just a mess because I was commited to driving multiple people home.

She said to me "maybe we can do something tomorrow or do a sunday funday, I'm pretty free this weekend"

Then the above text convo happened.

I dont know to wait to ask out, or just casually small talk her and feel out what shes doing tonight...

Strike while the irons hot? Or will I look desperate? What do you think?

 

[FBJ]

No one talks on the phone anymore?

 

[goldengoose]

I am great when I am on the date, talking in person etc. When it comes to texting and what/when to text I am awful. Its an emotionless way to communicate but I am 27 and all the girls I date are between 23-28. So texting is first choice of communication.

With that said:

When we were watching fireworks she was trying to get my friend and I to stay and go out drinking. Even offering us a ride home but the car situation was just a mess because I was commited to driving multiple people home.

She said to me "maybe we can do something tomorrow or do a sunday funday, I'm pretty free this weekend"

Then the above text convo happened.

I dont know to wait to ask out, or just casually small talk her and feel out what shes doing tonight...

Strike while the irons hot? Or will I look desperate? What do you think?

You should be more clear when you write these threads so we know how to respond to your problem. How are we supposed to know the rest of the details when you don't provide them? This changes everything.

She is telling you she is free and wants to go out.

You don't need to tell her "let's do something soon" twice in a text. She already wants to do something soon because she is telling you that. Like I said before, most of dating is just plain common sense.

All you had to do was set something up with her.

Call her up and talk to her, then set something up for sunday. Don't do it in a text or voicemail. That is what weak betas do.

Don't do next day dates unless you really have to. Let her think about you for the night until sunday.

 

[TheWho]

Soooo... in other words, your advice to contact her the next day resulted in you NOT getting the date? Hmm, very interesting...

No didn't do that for the dinner date, dunno when i asked it. Probobly during work sometime.

But i don't have lunchbreak that much either so i don't think its something personal.

 

[tomwesten27]

Update

Sorry for not providing full details. Like goldengoose said I went with my gut and common sense and sent her a text. I am busy sunday so I went for tonight. Please tell me what you think.

Me: hey what you up to today?
Her: hey whats up, just running errands, what are you up to?
Me: just got home, was going to grab drinks tonight at xyz if your free you want to join me?
Her: yes what time?
Me: 930pm work for you? want me to sccop you up?
Her: thats good, I just have to leave at midnight or a little sooner because I work partime as a ****tail waitress for events..so its up to you
Me: no problem, whats your address Ill pick you up.
Her: 123 blah lane etc. if anything ill meet u, if I am still running errands.
Me: whatever you prefer is fine. call you on the way to the bar to see if you want to pick ya up.
Her: Ok


Regardless of her having "an event to work tonight" lol. She is making time go out which is a good sign right?

Any tips on tonight would be greatly appreciated! I am going to a lounge/bar real cool spot a mile from her house. (mapquest says its that close which I didn't realize)

 

[Desdinova]

Good stuff! The place where most chicks flake is between getting the number and the first date. Once you've crossed that bridge and got the first kiss, you should be smooth sailing.

 

[May_Day]

Sorry for not providing full details. Like goldengoose said I went with my gut and common sense and sent her a text. I am busy sunday so I went for tonight. Please tell me what you think.

Me: hey what you up to today?
Her: hey whats up, just running errands, what are you up to?
Me: just got home, was going to grab drinks tonight at xyz if your free you want to join me?
Her: yes what time?
Me: 930pm work for you? want me to sccop you up?
Her: thats good, I just have to leave at midnight or a little sooner because I work partime as a ****tail waitress for events..so its up to you
Me: no problem, whats your address Ill pick you up.
Her: 123 blah lane etc. if anything ill meet u, if I am still running errands.
Me: whatever you prefer is fine. call you on the way to the bar to see if you want to pick ya up.
Her: Ok


Regardless of her having "an event to work tonight" lol. She is making time go out which is a good sign right?

Any tips on tonight would be greatly appreciated! I am going to a lounge/bar real cool spot a mile from her house. (mapquest says its that close which I didn't realize)

Why didn't you go out on a night when she doesn't have to work? If things start getting hot she is going to need to leave right in the middle when things are getting good. I would want a whole night with her so sex can happen she will have to leave in the middle to sling drinks for some drunks.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I smell flake.
It'll be something like: "Heeey, sorry but I'm really tired after running errands and I've gotta work an early shift tomorrow."
Good luck.

 

[tomwesten27]

UPDATE what to do next?

Hey guys! Went and picked her up at 930pm and ended up going out to 2 different local spots. We really hit it off. We had some really great conversations and I found we were on the same page with what we were looking for/wanted. I'm 27 yrs old and ended up finding out she is almost 35! She made a joke that I was young but I convinced her other wise.

She engaged in a lot of Kino and man was she looking hot. She was talking VERY close to my face, touching me a lot, when we went to the bar I was holding her hand etc. I played it very cool and smooth. I was getting SOOO many looks from other women and other men at the bar it was actually a cool feeling haha.

She had to work at 12:30pm so when I drove her home she asked me to drive her into the garage of her building and when I got to her car bam right into a make out session. Really good kissing for a solid 60 seconds! She said after we kissed "I had a lot of fun tonight, I will call you tomorrow"

I just said yeah tonight was fun, sounds good, have fun at work.

What do you guys think!? Did I do good?

As far as the next move

Obviously I should wait for her to call me today like she said correct? If she doesn't would I reach out at all today??

 

[Desdinova]

What do you guys think!? Did I do good?

You got to the first kiss, so I would consider that success. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll get laid in no time

 

[tomwesten27]

You got to the first kiss, so I would consider that success. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll get laid in no time

Should I call her later tonight or wait for her to reach out like she said she would???

 

[No.Danny]

Should I call her later tonight or wait for her to reach out like she said she would???

Wait bruh. You're the PRIZE. so act like it!

 

[mustfirstregister]

My translation:

Me: hey what you up to today?
Her: hey whats up, just running errands, what are you up to?
Me: just got home, was going to grab drinks tonight at xyz if your free you want to join me?
Her: yes, what time you wanna hookup?
Me: 930pm work for you? want me to sccop you up?
Her: thats great, I will leave at midnight but we can hookup. so its up to you
Me: no problem, whats your address Ill pick you up.
Her: 123 blah lane etc. come ram me!
Me: whatever you prefer is fine. call you on the way to the bar to see if you want to pick ya up.
Her: Ok