Texting between dates

[BJP1991]

Girl I’ve seen twice has started initiating more with me between dates just getting text convo going, etc.


We have a date planned for the weekend (making dinner at home together). She hit me up today asking about my weekend, exchanged a few texts, told her I want to hear about this story she told me via text when I see her, didn’t ask a question just ended my text with a statement.

Wondering if it could come off as cold if I am saying anything like “Can’t wait to hear about it when I see you!”, rather than asking a different question or stating something else to keep convo open. I think it could be interpreted negatively, like I don’t want to text her until we see one another in person, which isn’t true.

Thoughts? When you text a girl between dates or hangouts, do you always try to keep it going? Or just make more statements than questions and do more conversating in person?


I’m also not huge on texting, but my texts are light/kind hearted and don’t usually waste time with nonsense/Bulls***.

Mostly just don’t want to come off like a **** or like I don’t want her texting me or whatever.

 

[MrWood]

she wants you to be interested in her... "does he like me or only want some "date?""
if you are strict about "date only" convo, that could be a red flag for her "he isnt interested in me, only the date"

you have seen her twice.
she knows date 3 is the tie breaker
do you like her, or not

text her, if you want
dont text her, if you want

decide to do something

 

[BJP1991]

Exactly. There are no sticking points. There’s no game. There’s no mountain you have to climb or ocean you have to cross.

There’s only high interest or low interest. And there is nothing you can do about it either. Your frame is completely embedded into your presence and women can smell their way to you or away from you.

The thing that gets most guys confused is that romance is a female game. They live for it. They love wasting your time and energy. But it don’t mean they like you.

So as a guy who plays the romance game, you are getting the short end of the stick.

The only thing a guy should pay attention to are highly interested women. The rest are a complete waste of time.

Agreed 100%. This girl does seem to have good IL, unlike some other girls I’ve dated in the past. It’s pretty easy to tell/get a feel for where they are at (in that moment) once you’ve had a few in both category, in my opinion. I understand IL and attraction fluctuate, however.

In the past I’ve had a girl or two lose interest because they thought I wasn’t invested or interested in them since I almost never texted. I recognize now that may or may not be 100% “why” they lost interest, but there is definitely some truth to it and I believe it to be true. Some women want attention and if you don’t give the amount they want, they’ll often assume you’re not interested, even if you are. I have another good thread about this (personal story) that I plan to share on this site someday about a past relationship that fizzled for that exact reason.

 

[Glassguy]

You can't increase her interest level through text but you can certainly kill it.

I'm a believer in some texting in between dates but be careful not to over text, show too much availability and dont sent anything emotional or mushy.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You can't increase her interest level through text but you can certainly kill it.

I'm a believer in some texting in between dates but be careful not to over text, show too much availability and dont sent anything emotional or mushy.

Setting a date 1-2 days out would help mitigate this problem too right? Less flakes and you wouldn't have to text nearly as much. Or so I hear, I need to field test this.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop texting her. We don’t text. The only purpose for texting is logistics to set up dates that lead to sex. Tell her to save it for the date.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Girl I’ve seen twice has started initiating more with me between dates just getting text convo going, etc.


We have a date planned for the weekend (making dinner at home together). She hit me up today asking about my weekend, exchanged a few texts, told her I want to hear about this story she told me via text when I see her, didn’t ask a question just ended my text with a statement.

Wondering if it could come off as cold if I am saying anything like “Can’t wait to hear about it when I see you!”, rather than asking a different question or stating something else to keep convo open. I think it could be interpreted negatively, like I don’t want to text her until we see one another in person, which isn’t true.

Thoughts? When you text a girl between dates or hangouts, do you always try to keep it going? Or just make more statements than questions and do more conversating in person?


I’m also not huge on texting, but my texts are light/kind hearted and don’t usually waste time with nonsense/Bulls***.

Mostly just don’t want to come off like a **** or like I don’t want her texting me or whatever.

to think you need to perform some certain sequence of actions in a certain way to achieve a particular goal with her is backwards thinking. that'll breed resentment and is a waste of your time. it's putting the cart before the horse.

you know you've got a good head on your shoulders, a healthy life trajectory, your value, how to be polite, and you know how to dismiss or disengage when disrespected, so whatever you choose to say or not say, just own it completely, trust your intuition, and maintain your self respect. she may lose interest or her interest may go up. in the end it will work itself out won't it? so why try to fake it or think 'too little' or 'too much'? at such an early stage in a relationship she needs to feel your vibe then decide whether she'll conform, as @stormrider says. you set the precedence, not her. ideally you set that precedence with confidence and accountability, not indecision and nervous energy.

maybe down the road after you've been with a girl for years and she says she feels like you don't text her enough, then maybe you can consider changing your habits a bit if you feel it's worth it.

 

[Dradventure]

A little texting is good, but I read somewhere that women should be doing the majority of the chasing..

 

[EyeBRollin]

A little texting is good, but I read somewhere that women should be doing the majority of the chasing..

No. A little texting is not “good.” Texting for the sake of texting accomplishes nothing.

 

[Glassguy]

Setting a date 1-2 days out would help mitigate this problem too right? Less flakes and you wouldn't have to text nearly as much. Or so I hear, I need to field test this.

Ideally yes. There will always be those that are 5-7 days out and those are the trickiest

 

[Dash Riprock]

I've found a high percentage of women get really p*issed when you don't text them back fast enough.

Sometimes I go days if it's someone I'm casually dating or had just a couple dates with, because I am a legitimately very busy guy. Just goes to show how used they are to over-eager guys (97%) who will do anything to date her. Mix in a guy who doesn't give a s*hit (Abundance Mentality), and it's really damaging to her little flawless princess self esteem. Some get p*issed and evaporate, lol. The ones that don't get all mad because I took a while are the ones that may have some potential. Kind of a Dash RR s*hit test.

 

[BJP1991]

Ideally yes. There will always be those that are 5-7 days out and those are the trickiest

My exact scenario.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Ideally yes. There will always be those that are 5-7 days out and those are the trickiest

Not tricky at all.

“Save it for the date.”

She will either respect it or drop you.

 

[Visionist]

Setting a date 1-2 days out would help mitigate this problem too right? Less flakes and you wouldn't have to text nearly as much. Or so I hear, I need to field test this.

Text her, on the morning of the day of the date, "Gonna be a busy day today, message me when you're headed to (wherever the date is set). Wouldn't wanna lose track of time".

If she doesn't reply at all, she's definitely gonna flake. If she does, she might still flake, but the chances go down. Saves you a lot of time showing up for no reason.