Texting between dates

[BJP1991]

Hey All,

Went on a good first date on a Saturday that ended with kissing/heavy petting in my car as I drove her home/dropped her off. While I could have tried extending the date and asked to go inside her home with her, I chose not to. Upon getting home myself, she texted me asking to hangout again the following day. In my drunken stupor, I agreed and offered to make her dinner.

Next day rolls around and we make dinner together, more escalation, etc until things led to the bedroom. At the end of the night before she left, she asked me to do something the coming Friday, which I said I would check my schedule and let her know. All the while, I knew I was free and absolutely wanted to set plans on that Friday.

Now, my question is, which day should I reach out to make the definite plans for Friday? Is Wednesday too soon, but Thursday too late? This is a dumb question and likely a case of overthinking, but curious to hear how experienced DJs handle these situations.

Thanks!

 

[lamath]

I would not let her choose when we see each other

But that from a someone gett8ng back into the game.
But i th8nk thats what others will say

 

[Knight of Roses]

I've never been a big fan of letting girls choose when to meet up. I think you played it well. I would send her a text on Wednesday saying that your Friday evening is free and Im assuming you've had something in mind about what you plan to do.

 

[Glassguy]

My advice will differ from others.

If you want to see her Friday, make plans to see her Friday. If you have something else that you would rather do or have another date already set up for Friday, tell her you're busy and make plans for another evening.

Are you seriously going to sit at home this Friday instead of getting laid in a chick that you're obviously sexually attracted to just so you can follow a rule?

She offered. Just accept it. Go for a cheap date, maybe make dinner at your place or her place again and continue smashing.

This stuff is only complicated if you make it that way. Do what YOU want to do.

 

[BJP1991]

My advice will differ from others.

If you want to see her Friday, make plans to see her Friday. If you have something else that you would rather do or have another date already set up for Friday, tell her you're busy and make plans for another evening.

Are you seriously going to sit at home this Friday instead of getting laid in a chick that you're obviously sexually attracted to just so you can follow a rule?

She offered. Just accept it. Go for a cheap date, maybe make dinner at your place or her place again and continue smashing.

This stuff is only complicated if you make it that way. Do what YOU want to do.

Thanks for the great response. To be clear, I don’t mean to follow any rules necessarily. It’s moreso the way I operate with women all the time - early on (after only seeing her twice) I like to let her wonder if I’ll want to see her again, even though I know I definitely do. I sort of wonder if it comes across as too eager to jump at every chance you have to see her like that. Either way, I’ll be texting her shortly to set plans

 

[EyeBRollin]

Your game needs to tighten up immediately or this girl will get burned out and drop you. Right now you’re too available and not assertive enough with plans.

Mistake 1: when she offered to see you the next day, the correct response is to counter offer her invitation for a different day 4-7 days out. You have to have space. Your second date told her you have nothing else going on.

Mistake #2: when she suggested Friday to hang out again, you’re supposed to do the closing right there. Make the date for Friday or push it back to a later day like Sunday. Don’t end the conversation with you “checking your schedule.” That’s female ****. Men make definite plans. She asked you out, all you had to do was close.

When women ask you out, all you have to do is make it happen. Make plans immediately, don’t let it linger.

Tighten up quick. This one will get bored in the next date or two.

 

[BJP1991]

Your game needs to tighten up immediately or this girl will get burned out and drop you. Right now you’re too available and not assertive enough with plans.

Mistake 1: when she offered to see you the next day, the correct response is to counter offer her invitation for a different day 4-7 days out. You have to have space. Your second date told her you have nothing else going on.

Mistake #2: when she suggested Friday to hang out again, you’re supposed to do the closing right there. Make the date for Friday or push it back to a later day like Sunday. Don’t end the conversation with you “checking your schedule.” That’s female ****. Men make definite plans. She asked you out, all you had to do was close.

When women ask you out, all you have to do is make it happen. Make plans immediately, don’t let it linger.

Tighten up quick. This one will get bored in the next date or two.

I think you missed the part where we already smashed and she was asking for a third date. I don’t waste my time texting girls between dates like many newbies do. Phone is for setting dates/appointments only. How is agreeing to her Friday offer NOT too available, yet telling her I will check my schedule and let her know not building mystery or being too available? You contradicted yourself there

 

[BJP1991]

I think you are trying to adhere to a rule rather than play it accordingly for mystery, and here’s why:

You agreed to go out with her the very next day before sex.

You vanished after sex.

You’re not building mystery. You’re leading her into being more convinced by the day that you pumped and dumped.

She’s more likely getting more upset rather than more curious.

True, but I was hammered-drunk and her tongue was halfway down my throat a half hour earlier, so I closed the deal the following night in my bedroom. I don’t see how putting it off would have increased my chances of bringing her to bed, rather than just doing it the next evening.

 

[BJP1991]

I’m not saying you should have put off sex.

I’m saying you chose to go silent at the wrong time.

It’s been three days only...contacting her any sooner would be too soon, making me look way too available, according to what everyone is replying with.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I think you missed the part where we already smashed and she was asking for a third date. I don’t waste my time texting girls between dates like many newbies do. Phone is for setting dates/appointments only. How is agreeing to her Friday offer NOT too available, yet telling her I will check my schedule and let her know not building mystery or being too available? You contradicted yourself there

It doesn’t matter if you smashed that day. You are too available. You aren’t spacing your dates out. She’ll be over you in 2 weeks for the guy who actually has a life.

You don’t play games when a woman asks you out. That’s ***** ****. You make it happen. You become less available by creating space, not by rejecting her. This is a subtle difference most guys don’t understand.

Checking your schedule is like a car salesman telling the customer to come back another day because they haven’t thought their decision through enough. If she’s asking you out, she’s already sold on seeing you again. Come on, guy.

 

[marmel75]

My advice will differ from others.

If you want to see her Friday, make plans to see her Friday. If you have something else that you would rather do or have another date already set up for Friday, tell her you're busy and make plans for another evening.

Are you seriously going to sit at home this Friday instead of getting laid in a chick that you're obviously sexually attracted to just so you can follow a rule?

She offered. Just accept it. Go for a cheap date, maybe make dinner at your place or her place again and continue smashing.

This stuff is only complicated if you make it that way. Do what YOU want to do.

Exactly this. These rules people try and follow are just ridiculous. There are times a woman and I have texted every day from the time I first got her number pre date until we broke up over a year or two later after they became my girlfriend.

I'm not talking about all day texting sessions, I'm talking about a text or two back and forth a day, sometimes maybe 4 or 5 or whatever. Some days they initiated and other days I would. The bottom line is you can do whatever you feel like doing when you have the proper mindset in life with women and you wont come across as depserate or needy.

As far as them needing time to think about you, obviously when they text you first they are thinking of you so that argument falls by the wayside as well...

But again, what works for me might not work for another person. I am able to draw women in via texting more often whereas others might push them away. Why? I don't know. I'm assuming the content of what I text has a large part in it. Definitely fun and interesting stuff even if its only a few texts here and there, never lame stuff.

I just know things work far better for me when I text more frequently than when I text less frequently. Again, that is just ME. Others may not be able to pull this off.

 

[marmel75]

It’s been three days only...contacting her any sooner would be too soon, making me look way too available, according to what everyone is replying with.

Hahaha...these rules only limit you in the end and make your life harder. Its like trying to ride a bike really fast with training wheels on.

At first the training wheels help because they prevent you from falling but eventually once you dont need them you take them off and realize you can go much faster without them and you wont fall.

Same concept. In the end these rules hamstring you far more then they help you once you are past a certain point in your development.

 

[BJP1991]

Thanks for the input everyone. I want to remind you all, that as a busy, young professional who is starting my own business, I LEGITIMATELY did not know how free I was on that Friday she asked for. I later found out I happen to have a seminar scheduled until 630-7 on that Friday - so thank goodness I didn’t make dinner plans on the spot or whatever, right? Why schedule immediately when I genuinely was unsure how available I would be?

 

[BJP1991]

Has anyone here read 3% Man by Corey Wayne? All of your responses indicate you have not - it’s a good read and I don’t 100% but into the philosophy, but I do believe in the guidelines the book offers. I can tell most of you have not read it, which is totally fine

 

[sazc]

Has anyone here read 3% Man by Corey Wayne? All of your responses indicate you have not - it’s a good read and I don’t 100% but into the philosophy, but I do believe in the guidelines the book offers. I can tell most of you have not read it, which is totally fine

#micdrop

Lolz

 

[lamath]

Has anyone here read 3% Man by Corey Wayne? All of your responses indicate you have not - it’s a good read and I don’t 100% but into the philosophy, but I do believe in the guidelines the book offers. I can tell most of you have not read it, which is totally fine

I did read CW and ws not impress

CW is not that respected around here.
There is far better material than CW, you better off reading Mark Manson Models imo
Roosh V Game book
Rollo is a great book to understand inter gender dynamics

 

[BJP1991]

I did read CW and ws not impress

CW is not that respected around here.
There is far better material than CW, you better off reading Mark Manson Models imo
Roosh V Game book
Rollo is a great book to understand inter gender dynamics

Yeah, I get the impression that CW is not necessarily popular amongst the PUA community.

Thanks for the recommendations - I do find it interesting to read about this kind of stuff and human interactions in general (beneficial from a business standpoint as well).

 

[EyeBRollin]

Corey Wayne plagiarized Doc Love. Read the System, it’s more in depth than CWs book.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Thanks for the input everyone. I want to remind you all, that as a busy, young professional who is starting my own business, I LEGITIMATELY did not know how free I was on that Friday she asked for. I later found out I happen to have a seminar scheduled until 630-7 on that Friday - so thank goodness I didn’t make dinner plans on the spot or whatever, right? Why schedule immediately when I genuinely was unsure how available I would be?

Counter offer for a time when you know you are free. There is no excuse as a man to not know your own schedule. There is also no reason to answer her text immediately; you respond when you know for sure what day and time to make the definite date. If she asks you out in person, you must think on your feet right there.

 

[Skyline]

I don't think any mistakes were made because you're seeing each other and had sex.

Sex is a pretty big indicator of interest so let her know today if you want to meet up on Friday.

It really doesn't matter. You can reschedule, wait until tomorrow, don't respond at all, but as of right now the ball is rolling. I don't see why you would stop it especially if she's asking you.

She's clearly not playing any games so there's no reason to second guess yourself here. She's met up with you both times you have planned to get together.

Just try to give yourself some breathing room for next week. Meeting up 1-2 times a week is enough.

I wouldn't push 3...