**** Test Shot Down

[drmeathead]

I just got a **** test from this girl I am talking to yesterday

Her "want to hear a funny story?"

Me "sure"

Her " Well last night I went out and got really drunk with my friends. including this one guy i had a semi crush on. we ended up going back to my place and he stayed over."

Me "you bang?"

Her " no i am not like that" (giggles)

Me " you should have, you had him right where you wanted him."

Her " We ended up sleeping in my bed but we didnt even kiss. He did put his arm around me though. He kept farting in his sleep and that turned me off. i dont even like him that much anymore he grossed me out."

Me "girls fart too you know.

 

[Vulpine]

...We ended up going back to my place and he stayed over."

Me "you bang?"

Her " no i am not like that" (giggles)
....

Her " We ended up sleeping in my bed but we didnt even kiss..."

We went back to my place? But, we didn't screw because I'm not like that? However, I am the type to let a guy sleep in my bed and fart on me all night?

WTF.
So many holes... a twist halfway through... *cough*bullsh!t*cough*
Uh, if he was sleeping... no wonder you didn't screw, or kiss... doesn't matter if you were turned on or not: he was sleeping.

"You wanna hear a funny story?"

???

I hate that. It's never a funny story; and when they finish talking I'm always sure to ask them: "So, THAT's the funny story? Exactly what part did you think was funny? I guess I had to be there." Then, I try to find something about the sorry to laugh at them about so as to "see the humor". In this case, I could be like... "Oh, wait, no that IS funny: you didn't get laid AND you got farted on all night! :crackup:"

Man, that story of hers is a gold mine. You should've teased the sh!t out of her about having a fart fettish. Accuse her of going to a **** club to find some random to help her with her stranger/farting/no sex/no kissing fantasy. Then ask her how often she endulges in her kink, if she made the guy wear a gimp suit, you know... tease the sh!t out of her.

 

[speed dawg]

Personally, I don't understand why any girl who you're dating would tell you about this. This is more than a simple sh!t test. My ex gf at college told me stuff like this, and it ended up she was actually fukking the other guy, and basically by her telling me this it was her running smack on me because she had no respect for me.

I'd drop that girl quick. Sounds like an attention ho.

Crap like that is the girl's business and if you're not serious, then she's done nothing wrong. But why tell you about it if she valued your relationship?

 

[jonwon]

I just got a **** test from this girl I am talking to yesterday

Her "want to hear a funny story?"

Me "sure"

Her " Well last night I went out and got really drunk with my friends. including this one guy i had a semi crush on. we ended up going back to my place and he stayed over."

Me "you bang?"

Her " no i am not like that" (giggles)

Me " you should have, you had him right where you wanted him."

Her " We ended up sleeping in my bed but we didnt even kiss. He did put his arm around me though. He kept farting in his sleep and that turned me off. i dont even like him that much anymore he grossed me out."

Me "girls fart too you know.

Shi* test not why she felt you needed to know this is behond me.

I hate this shi* about women and they do it more then i would like, i usually reply with something like 'what makes you think i wanted to know about you and some guy hooking up, you have your GF's for that'. change subject.

But only if she was FB status or i was simply trying to get a screw out of her as for LTR type, this women would have screwed it right there.

As for FB status vulpine hit the nail on the head, but thats all this chick would be.

 

[Vulpine]

Chill, dawg. He said he's "talking to" her, not "dating her".

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Sometimes a girl will tell you a story like this (sometimes a made-up one too) in effort to get you to hurry up.

"There are other guys interested in me, make a move already."

Don't know if this is truly the case here. She is probably just a b1tch.

How long have you two been "talking"? Did you ask her out or make a move yet? Do you think there is any truth to the other guy story?

 

[squirrels]

They probably fooled around, so don't flatter yourself. But very well-played.

Now give her an orgasm so awesome she'd be stupid to ever, EVER think of leaving you.

 

[thissucks003]

That whole story of hers was lame. I wouldn't consider that a sheet test nor would I even consider it funny.

I am more inclined to agree with JustDoItAlways! She wants to show her value by showing her desireability. It would have been a sheet test if you were actually dating and she was telling you a story about hanging out with her guy friend and yada yada yada...

 

[realsmoothie]

you guys are taking this little to personal.....she probably told the story so that she can feel wanted...to kinda say; "i'm desirable you know, and why arn't you getting all jaleous????....i need your attention.....bla bla bla"

you did good, could be better, but still very good.

imagine if you ware in her shoes; the only reason you would tell something like this is to make your self feel important and desirable. She pobably was sitting home watching tv all night.

Yeah, um, hello people, the original poster and her are just talking. If a girl tells a story like this it's more of a "I'm hot because guys come over" kind of thing. She's looking for attention, not busting his nads.

 

[whistler]

IF AN EX tells a story like that...

She's looking for jealousy on your part.

IF A PROSPECT says something like that...

She's very interested now but will give up soon unless you take her invitation to be more aggressive.

 

[drmeathead]

we have plans to get together to "party" next weekend. she wanted to know if when she comes if i would make her stay on the couch. i told her she could sleep on the floor but if she is nice to me she can have a beanbag chair. we will see what happens. this girl lives in a city 3 hours away so i dont expect anythnig long term. it could be a fun weekend though when she comes in.

as far as tests go, i think i can pass them all. my ex was nuts, literally, and her tests were so much worse. i probably should have walked away just becuase of the tests. oh well i learned. i have been vaccinated against the **** test. i may not get clever, but i wont get riled.

 

[drmeathead]

do you think i should get a boob job?...

i want to work at hooters...

this guy asked me to dance. he made eye contact and came right over.

i know you like blondes but i want to dye my hair brown

what if in the future i want to expericence different guys and new things

all i thought of all day long was that you were going to cheat on me

you only dated frumpy girls. that must mean you think i am frumpy too