**** test - She mentions other guys sometimes

[italostud]

This girl I've been dating is great except that she will strategically mention other guys whenever she has an opportunity. I won't go into detail, but I can tell that she's either trying to get a rise out of me, or covertly trying to let me know that there are other guys out there.

Now I've had other girls do this in the past. It always seems to be high IL women who may be slightly insecure.

What is the best way to deal with these subtle attacks? I know most will say to ignore them, but the problem with that is that they keep trying, hoping they will eventually get under your skin using this particular shyt test. I'm currently using the ignore tactic right now. Not showing that it irks me in the slightest.

The other option is to fight fire with fire and start doing the same thing back to her. Funny thing is that whenever I've used this tactic in the past, the girl will crack right away and freak out. They can always dish it out, but can't take it.

Your opinions? Because it just gets annoying after a while.

 

[KontrollerX]

Keep up the ignore method.

Another thing you could do is find some subtle way to reward her when she does behaviour that you enjoy but to not reward her somehow when she brings up this other guys garbage by maybe acting cold or distant to her when she does this or making some excuse that you have to leave her presence at that time because you had something important to do with friends maybe that you forgot all about until that moment.

This is something I read about in some psychology book.

I believe the tactic it described is called "response costs".

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Or...if the above tactics don't get you the reaction that you need you can always try THIS one:

HotBabe: "You know, ItaloStud, this guy at work is ALWAYS coming up to me flirting with me all the time..."

ItaloStud: With a big, confident smile, turns around and looks at her like she's a 10-year old little girl "Awww, I think it is SO sweet that you keep telling me about all those little boys who LIKE you...don't worry, HotBabe----"I" think you're kinda cute TOO..."

Responding to her THIS way could possibly communicate to her COVERTLY that you know what the hell she's doing by bringing up these random mutherfukkas-----and at the SAME time lets her know that YOU are above it all and NOT phased or threatened by these guys.

It will set YOU up as the prize and NOT her. It will also communicate to her that you are IMMUNE to her attempts to prick your DJ confidence with the "stick-pins" of JEALOUSY.


March on.

 

[jonwon]

Or...if the above tactics don't get you the reaction that you need you can always try THIS one:

HotBabe: "You know, ItaloStud, this guy at work is ALWAYS coming up to me flirting with me all the time..."

ItaloStud: With a big, confident smile, turns around and looks at her like she's a 10-year old little girl "Awww, I think it is SO sweet that you keep telling me about all those little boys who LIKE you...don't worry, HotBabe----"I" think you're kinda cute TOO..."

Responding to her THIS way could possibly communicate to her COVERTLY that you know what the hell she's doing by bringing up these random mutherfukkas-----and at the SAME time lets her know that YOU are above it all and NOT phased or threatened by these guys.

It will set YOU up as the prize and NOT her. It will also communicate to her that you are IMMUNE to her attempts to prick your DJ confidence with the "stick-pins" of JEALOUSY.


March on.

spot on.

Or how about:

Pat her on the back and say.

"thats really sweet babe, now go fetch me another beer"

Or

"Is he blind"

Or

"Dam he must not get out much"

Or

"another sucker i thought i was the only one"

Or

"you know i think its your perfume, yeh i kind-a sneaked some on the other day and DAM i was hounded to death, made me think about going a little 'gay' due to all the attention"

Or

"Why not invite them over for a threesome, but first we have to do it with me you and another girl first *wink*"

Or

"Thats cool babe, i am sure somewhere out there some-one would be greatly impressed with that"

Or

"Ahhh how cute, baby wants to make me jelouse"


Or

"Didn't i tell you before not to go out naked?, in fact did i not chain you to the kitchen sink last night"


E.t.c

 

[Nighthawk]

Ignore or tease. If you want to tease her about it, light-heartedly impersonate her saying 'oh and then Brad wanted to meet for a coffee and oh my god then Pete called because, like I'm so popular woohoo' or something.

 

[Centaurion]

I've been through something similar, but it was my female roommate that gave my all the sh!t-tests. The way I handled it was to ignore her pathetic validation attempts and played it cool. She finally threw a sissy fit when I did not allow myself to get riled up over some stupid sh!t.

Here is the thread I made about it :
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=89768

It all started last evening; I was watching dr Phil while relaxing with a beer when my female roommate walked in. We exchanged the usual pleasantries and she asked me what I've been up to for the last week or so since she hadn't seen me. I told her I was just doing the usual stuff, you know, drinking, smoking and fooling around.

I don't know what the **** came over her, but she suddenly started talking about all these guys that she has f*cked. She kept telling me about this guy she had picked up at a club and how she has f*cked 5 guys in our bathroom. She also showed me all these text messages from all these chumps had sent her.

I mean, what the **** is up with this sh*t!!? What makes that b!tch think I actually care about how she's whoring around. Stupid b!tch.

All through this I'm like : "uhuh" *sips beer and continuous watching dr Phil*

Suddenly I realized that she has gone silent for a minute or two. I turn around and go

Cent : "hmm what!?"
RM : "what do you think about this?"
Cent " "uhh good for ya..."

And then the b!tch just blows up and asks me if that's all I have to say. I reply with

Cent : "wtf do you want me to say? Want me to say that you've earned your money as a slut!?" *sips beer and continuous watching dr Phil*

Now she started throwing a sissy fit, she was seriously screaming that I'm such an ******* and a bad person.

 

[jophil28]

For god' sake, doesn't this attention wh0ring, drama queen ,faked up hissy fits EVER end. I swear that even women in their 40's and 50's pull this shyte. now and then. They especially like the game called ," lets try and make him jealous" ...It seems to be their favorite ..I like playing my followup game - its called "Goodbye."

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... I won't go into detail, but I can tell that she's either trying to get a rise out of me, or covertly trying to let me know that there are other guys out there. ...

Why do you think she's doing this? You mentioned that you've been with women in the past who did this and believe it's an insecurity of theirs yet you perceive it as a personal attack. Something isn't quite clear here.

 

[Vulpine]

Yahoo just had a little article on their site like "A Little Jealousy is Healthy", and then the little description says "4 ways to make him jealous".

I wanted to laugh, but...

4 ways? "A little" only requires "one". I can just imagine some bubbleheaded Barbie AW using all 4 methods, then using all 4 methods again, then repeating the cycle again because she wants her relationship to be "extra healthy".

Yahoo seriously needs to stop posting bullsh¡t.

 

[italostud]

Thanks for the good responses so far!

Why do you think she's doing this? You mentioned that you've been with women in the past who did this and believe it's an insecurity of theirs yet you perceive it as a personal attack. Something isn't quite clear here.

Francisco, I'm smart enough to know the difference when a girl just casually mentions another male in passing, without it being anything, and when a girl makes it a continuous habit to mention other guys, saying just enough to make you wonder, but not enough to get herself into trouble. Structuring her comments on them in such a way to make it seem like they may be interested in her or whatever. There's a few different tactics women use.

IE: "Oh it's funny you mentioned driving because my friend Billy has a ferarri and is a doctor. Yeah he's so cool. He keeps asking if I want to go for a cruise some time. We're such good friends. Oh yeah he just bought a mansion too, oh that Billy!"

Or

"Oh it's funny you mentioned music! Because my friend Mark is a DJ at the local club. He gets hit on all the time by women. Probably because he's like 6' whatever and has the body of a god. All of the girls talk about what a stud he is. Now that I think about it I haven't talked to him in a while. I should give him a call, you know cause we're friends and he'll be pissed that I've been talking to his buddies lately and not him."

I mean the subtext of these types of comments is very obvious - you better behave or else look who I have waiting in the wings. But yet, she hasn't made herself guilty of anything. Sneaky tactics. I believe that women do this out of insecurity because they know that other women want me and that I have a lot going for me, so they feel they have to even the playing field, or at least let me know that they are desired as well, so that I won't take her for granted.

 

[paintballz]

dude hit the "ignore" button or mock her in a witty way to crush her pedistal!!!!!!, she will eventually shut up about it.

 

[Dash Riprock]

What is the best way to deal with these subtle attacks? I know most will say to ignore them, but the problem with that is that they keep trying, hoping they will eventually get under your skin using this particular shyt test. I'm currently using the ignore tactic right now. Not showing that it irks me in the slightest.

This is the OLDEST s**t test in the book.

Jonwon's reply was funny as hell--this would be acceptable provided you didn't fire back ALL the time.

The tried and true DJ method for this is CONTROL. It's a close relative to CONFIDENCE--you don't give a fvck. As you mentioned, you ignore, change the subject, don't EVEN raise an eyebrow even though you're mad as hell.

Be "The Duck"...(yes, The Duck)

He looks smooth as hell as he glides on top of the pond, but underneath, he's paddling like hell.

The worst thing to do is get mad, overtly call her out, or play the game back.

You're WAY TOO DJ for that, remember, you don't give a fvck.

 

[Interceptor]

I would say something like:

"Yeah, well if you like them so much maybe you should go with them. But don't you think they'll eventually get tired of you mentioning all these other guys you want to hook up with constantly and they'll eventually drop you too?"

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
IE: "Oh it's funny you mentioned driving because my friend Billy has a ferarri and is a doctor. Yeah he's so cool. He keeps asking if I want to go for a cruise some time. We're such good friends. Oh yeah he just bought a mansion too, oh that Billy!"

Or

"Oh it's funny you mentioned music! Because my friend Mark is a DJ at the local club. He gets hit on all the time by women. Probably because he's like 6' whatever and has the body of a god. All of the girls talk about what a stud he is. Now that I think about it I haven't talked to him in a while. I should give him a call, you know cause we're friends and he'll be pissed that I've been talking to his buddies lately and not him."...

Alright, this isn't meant to be a slight but if these guys are so damn great, why is she dating you? What I'm trying to say is that these guys might as well be Matt Damon or whatever hot, unobtainable man women lust after nowadays. If the guys she's talking about actually exist, they aren't interested in enough to put up with her games.

Women will subtly poke you with a jealousy stick for their own reassurance, that you find them attractive enough not to leave them. From your examples this woman's intent is to see how much she can get out of you status wise (both social and financial). My gut tells me that she's one that keeps an eye out for the BBD.

 

[italostud]

Alright, this isn't meant to be a slight but if these guys are so damn great, why is she dating you? What I'm trying to say is that these guys might as well be Matt Damon or whatever hot, unobtainable man women lust after nowadays. If the guys she's talking about actually exist, they aren't interested in enough to put up with her games.

Women will subtly poke you with a jealousy stick for their own reassurance, that you find them attractive enough not to leave them. From your examples this woman's intent is to see how much she can get out of you status wise (both social and financial). My gut tells me that she's one that keeps an eye out for the BBD.

BBD? I love bell biv devoe. She better be keeping an eye out for them.

She doesn't seem like one to jump between branches too quickly/often. She's only been in one serious relationship, and she's been single for the past couple of years, only slept with a couple of guys. But I'm sure she doesn't want some loser, what woman doesn't want the best man she can get?

 

[Metro3pilot]

I had a girl pull this BS with me last week ...

I asked her out and instead of answering my question ... " when do you want to go out ? " she proceeds to tell me her whole schedule for the next few days ...... of course everything she was doing involved other guys ...

was it to make me jealous ? who cares ...she got pissed, when I smiled and blew her off ....

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times ....................

A GIRL WHO PLAYS GAMES, WILL NEVER STOP PLAYING GAMES ....THAT YOU CAN COUNT ON ......

starting looking for a higher qaulity girl .... for whatever reason this chick is mentioning other guys .... to make you jealous, maybe she really is screwing 6other guys, maybe she wants you to go away, maybe she really likes you .........WHO CARES .......

go for a more quality woman and let this chick play with chumps who don't mind her mentioning other guys ...

dude your dignity and self respect are worth more than any split tail ...now man up and don't settle for any ass that comes your way

that's my opinion ...for what its worth

:rockon:

 

[jonwon]

Think this thread is testiment to a rule i have developed.

It goes like this:

Never ever get too attached to 'any' women.

The more you hand over power (or balls) to a women the more 'you' get effected by there constant need for 'drama'.

when you get too attached you no longer see the 'drama' as something cute or funny or 'girly' you start to take it personal, on a personal level and that is then my friend a slippery slope to 'shi*'.

I can understand you would be pis*ed at what this girl is doing, but if we think about it:

If you had other girls on the go (i currently have 4 ) you would not be bothered about anything she does and INFACT it would be YOUR reality she enters instead of worrying about 'her' reality.

Keep spinning those plates and stuff like the OP mentioned is simply 'cute' of 'girly' or 'drama' attention, it is nothing but only becomes 'something' when you allow her to gain power over you due to your 'rising' interest level.

As for Yahoo Vulpine posting that thread, i agree but lets look at it.

The OP well its clearly working on him, this stuff is getting into his head which means he is 'thinking' about her when she is not there, or imagining scenariors, i.e bottom line she has 'got' him or is about to right where she wants him, i.e controlled by emotion creating and spinning him in her web.

The only way to avoid all that is simply look on her as a silly little girl who needs a man to not put up with her silly little girly games, but do it in a real man way and not thugish, i.e brush it off as some cute girl in a playground trying to play games, in that treat her like the little girl she is and give her a wammy.

Both Guys:

"They sound great, i think you should call them up and go on a date with them"

Or

"hey they sound like fun, get yourself off"

Or

"it would be great to meet them they sound like great guys"

Or

"haha cute"


But tbh about it, if this women is an attention whor* which seems very likley, eventually she will or MAY start turning this jelousy game up a notch.

If she starts going on 'dates' with random guys, telling you she is 'staying' at bobs house tonight as 'she cant get home for being too drunk'.

Then you have a problem.

Hence this girl does not sound too great tbh about it, too much drama for my liking BUT she would be a cute FB and i would use her to see exactly who is control as i go out on other dates with other women.

she can 'talk' about hot new men as much as she wants tbh about it, means nothing when your banging away some other cute blonde laugthing inside at the silly games this girl is playing, eventually you may even get 'bored' with it, i know i would.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Good post, JONWON.

Never ever get too attached to 'any' women.

You just dropped some serious KNOWLEDGE with THAT statement alone...

 

[italostud]

Sounds like there's a few different trains of thought on this topic. One is to just ignore it. Another is to use some of those C+F lines, some of which are very good. Others say to just withdraw from the situation when she does this.

I read up on 'Response Cost'. Seems to be basic psych 101 conditioning. May be worth a shot. Seems logical to me. Not sure which I'll try, because using response cost won't enable me to use the C+F lines. Actually, maybe I could give her a C+F line then jet.

You know, just for shyts and giggles, I googled "make him jealous" and found so many articles/posts written by women with tips on how to make their boyfriends jealous it made me sick.

Here's something I copied and pasted:

"trying to make your boyfriend jealous isnt a good idea but sometimes there's no other choice, so just look ur best and pretend ur not that into him and talk bout other guy friends alot. it will drive him crazy that he will put more time into you and he wont wanna let you go cos he thinks u already have a replacement!
good luck! "

Lol, I wonder if my gf read this. Seems to be common girly knowledge though.

 

[RogueWarrior]

Sometimes I wish women had a Tivo skip-the-damn-commercials-about-Cyalis button. Then you could get past the bullsh*t and get back to the show.

But, dude...what the F are you doing watching Dr Phil?! Feh.