Temporary Long Distance Relationship

[Fireballs]

Long story short. I have been with my current girlfriend for 8 months and before we met she booked an overseas holiday. I have just spent a month of that holiday with her and returned home a week ago and I'm about to move to a new town for work. She has another 6 weeks of travel with a girlfriend before she comes back and moves to where I will be.

I have been fully supportive of her travels and have been keeping myself busy and having fun since I have been back. Now, I'm not stupid and I know there is always a chance that she could cheat, but I trust her and she knows she is replaceable so I'm not worrying about that.

I would just like some advice on how to handle the distance, relationship wise, as being physically absent from eachother is probably going to somewhat detach her from me emotionally.

I have found that I can take things too far at times regarding the mindset that is learned on here and I tend to over-analyze. I'm just not sure how much attention to give her, what details to give about my day/nights out, if any at all, how available to be, if she knows I'm going out do I ignore her texts all night or reply to them etc..? I want her hamster to spin but I also don't want to drive her away if I am not fulfilling a need. Basically how to keep pressing the right buttons while I can't physically be with her? This has been harder than I thought to explain what I'm trying to ask, but I hope you guys can point me in the right direction as this whole temporary LDR thing is new to me, although I'm probably just over-thinking things.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Six weeks isn't very long. The fact that she had you along for part of the trip is encouraging. I think you're fine. I'd respond when she contacts you, but otherwise not worry about it and just wait the time out.

 

[El Payaso]

Only text when she texts you. Keep it to a maximum of three exchanges. A quick hello when she says hi...two more exchanges and close the conversation by telling her goodnight or to have a nice day.

If you're texting her and she starts telling you a lot of details and you cannot keep it to two exchanges then if possible, pick up the phone and call her. Only do this once in a while and not everyday. Talk for a maximum of 5 - 10 minutes. No more than that. Your time is precious. If you anticipate the conversation dying down, preemptively end it.

Make her invest in you and vie for your attention by having her send you a picture once or twice in a week. Be casual about it. If she mentions something, just say you want to have a picture of it and her.

 

[Fireballs]

Thanks for the replies.

That's good to hear as it's basically what I've been doing - Letting her initiate ALL calls and texts and keeping it short. It's funny actually, she called me this morning over FaceTime where you can see eachother and after about 10 mins I said I had to go and she sighed and pouted. Alot of guys would give in here and keep talking to her but I know better! *click*

Also I don't really understand the asking for pics from her bit? Would that come across as needy?

 

[LMFAO]

It is true that women on holiday are horny f**ks. I spent a few months in New York and every girl on my course, whether she had a "boyfriend back home" (probably most of them made it up anyway), engaged or even married they were all sleeping around with no guilt whatsoever.

Do yourself a favour and enjoy yourself as well. You are not married to her and there is nothing wrong with always exploring other options. Whether you decide to do so or not is down to you, a personal choice. Either way don't worry what she's up to and just enjoy your time.

 

[Soolaimon]

Some fear based comments in here I see.

When a woman is highly attracted to you she isn't going to cheat.

She spent a whole month with the guy on holiday. She is on Facetime with him. She is into him.

If she cheats she is going to cheat. There is nothing you can do about it. Useless boundaries and gimmicks isn't going to prevent it.

I'd say you're doing just fine with what you're doing.

Don't change anything or ask her for anything.

Keep in contact with her but keep it short like you're doing.

Don't get paranoid that leads to insecurity.

That will ruin your mind set and your frame.

If you notice a change in her attitude and behavior you know something is up.

Don't worry about it.

You're doing fine.

 

[salinechow]

Look, as usual all the advice here is good and well founded. Fireball, I think you even read my post and know that my situation was different but had some parallels as well. Do NOT engage in to much small talk! Allow her to miss you! Then every once in a while and I mean sparingly throw in something romantic (maybe a longer and sweet text that she can meditate on) and then don’t answer her back when she responds until hrs or even a day later. Also, having said that, I lived in a tropical place for a long time and co-owned a bar. Trust me, and the boys when we tell you, girls(not all but most) on vacation get loose(not necessarily sexually but judgment wise which can become sexually)I had HB9s and tell me about their doctor fiancés while they kissed me and my buddies. (Pictures upon request)Make her miss you! Because if she is comfortable that you are waiting for her she will be more prone to wander (don’t get crazy ideas about that could just be flirting or kissing, Im not saying defiantly more, just be aware). Yet, like you said, if she equally misses you and equally thinks you have as many opportunities as she does while she is away it will keep her sharp. It will keep her thinking ”Well if I do then he will, if I don’t he won’t” But if she KNOWS you won’t she might push the envelope. Chicks are nuts. I wish, once again, I would have taken my own advice when my most recent was away. Like everybody hinted at as well, our advice is like perfume, its ment to be smelled not swallowed, so only you can take it and apply it with your own guts. You got this bro.