Telling women you are unemployed

[Pandora]

I have a Canadian friend of mine who told me a story. He said that he was at the bar with his boss who is in his mid 30's. The boss is a great looking guy, has money, had a career, comes from a moderately well off family, owns a home downtown etc... So the boss is buying drinks for the group and he gets approached by a hot chick. They start talking and it looks like a sure thing. Somewhere during the convo she leaves. It turns out that he lied to her and told her that he was unemployed and she lost interest.

When my friends asked why he did that, he starts laughing and says that any woman that will leave becuz of that, is not what you want. The guy is now married to a woman and has a great family. But when he was single, always made sure to work into the convo that he was unemployed even when he wasn't.

Imagine the security with oneself that it takes to say that, when it is not true. Most men would try to brag about their job and status. Maybe saying that you are unemployed is the ultimate attraction filter. Assuming this story was true, maybe this guy was on to something?

 

[Warrior74]

When I had a decent job, we used to go to an upscale bar. When the gold diggers would come sniffing around and eventually ask what I did for a living (usually 2nd or 3rd question) I would tell them I was a garbage man for the city and had just gotten promoted from pick up to driver so we were out celebrating. The look on their faces. They couldn't get away fast enough.

A few women would laugh and prompt me for my real job, so I would just ramp it up. Clown college instructor, disco ball repair man, public telephone sanitizer. Those kind I liked because they had a sense of humor.

 

[Pandora]

I would tell them I was a garbage man for the city and had just gotten promoted from pick up to driver so we were out celebrating. The look on their faces. They couldn't get away fast enough.

Do you blame them for that? How do you feel about it? I mean i still haven't decided whether or not to feel any bitterness towards gold diggers even when you have a great job. On one had they are just looking out for their own survival. On the other hand they are opportunistic and disloyal. But dude, it takes alot of confidence to downplay your job, props to you.

 

[Slickster]

Haha Warrior, I was just about to post a similar tale.

My buddies and I used to use the pitiful job schtick as well. I've been a garbage man many times. I've used drywaller and sewer worker as well.

This is a good way to show ultra confidence as most dudes are trying too hard to impress chicks with their job title.

It's also a great qualifier to use on chicks. If she "gets it" you know you have a fun chick to hang with. If not you were probably wasting your time anyway.

I remember one chick going along with the garbage man ploy I was using. Eventually she asked, "So what do you REALLY do?" I told her "I don't like telling people what I do for work." She asked "why" and I responded with "I want people to like me for me, not my money." Her interest was piqued as if her imagination wanted to believe I was loaded. Too funny.

 

[betheman]

I dont readily agree with this, yeah you should screen out the gold diggers for sure but turn this around, would you date a gilr who hangs round bars and is unemployed?
if you had a Daughter, what would you want for her froma guy?

sorry but having a job is part of her screening you, its not neccessarily about being a gold digger.
I think the understating your job and earnings is a better approach.

 

[Who Dares Win]

What has been said make sense however job and status are for women what look is for us.

Would you be interested in a girl that you meet online that doesnt show you her picture? or with a bad look?
I realize its not exactly the same cause status is ONLY a part of us unlike look that is MOST of a woman but still we cannot expect anyone to go against nature.

I think the funny approach is more effective because it leaves the woman guessing who are you and she will guess according to her attraction for you.

 

[Warrior74]

Do you blame them for that? How do you feel about it? I mean i still haven't decided whether or not to feel any bitterness towards gold diggers even when you have a great job. On one had they are just looking out for their own survival. On the other hand they are opportunistic and disloyal. But dude, it takes alot of confidence to downplay your job, props to you.

No I don't blame them. Birds gotta fly, dogs gotta bark, chics gotta be chics. In my particular circumstances, it was a lack of any sort of social game that turned me off. I was raised to believe that it was rude to ask people what they do for a living at least in the first 30 seconds of meeting them. So I tend to not like women who approach me like that. It's the same as men who approach women and the first words out of their mouth is about how hot they are. Or immediately start fishing for her relationship status. Same thing. Weak game.

That being said, we did it for fun. It wasn't a tactic to get girls. It was a tactic to get those particular girls to go away.

 

[Zarky]

The only thing worse than telling women you're unemployed is telling them you're homeless.

I was in Berkeley bumming around for a year after college. Some cute girl and I were talking at the "Wall Berlin" coffee shop that's now long gone, but she had this huge cold sore on her lip so I wasn't really interested. She said "So tell me about yourself!" I said, "I'm homeless and unemployed." Her face literally fell and 30 seconds later she was out of there. It was funny as hell.

MOST women are hardwired to want resources in a mate. Unless you don't mind dating hippies. I know one girl who bums around the world travelling and doesn't give a sh*t what you own. In fact she's sort of "anti-middle-class" and the dumpier and more of a bum a guy is (as long as he's not too old) the more she likes him.

But those types are rare.

 

[Jitterbug]

Unless you work in one of those tingle-generating jobs, mentioning it is neutral at best and pvssy-drying at worst. My preferred method is being vague and changing topics:

Her: So what do you do?
Me: I dance for foods.
Her: No, your real job.
Me: Oh, I work in the city.
Her: What kind?
Me: No idea, they just keep paying me to show up. Who am I to question it? Hey, {new topic}

Gets their imagination running wild sometimes.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Pandora, I quite liked the post my man! Your boss must have been a really cool guy! If you are successful and say you are unemployed and know otherwise is still NOT the same as actually being unemployed. However, I do appreciate what he was trying to accomplish. It takes confidence to pull that off. If one came around he was really attracted to, I bet he would NOT have gone in the, "I am unemployed" direction.

I remember at the end of 2010/beginning of 2011, I was one of those unemployed folks...no fault of my own. Had a neck injury on the job that ruined me financially. I am way under employed now, but I still haven't recovered. That kind of $hit kills your self esteem...being jobless or under employed. Tomorrow I have to go test for a pretty decent job w/ outstanding benefits.. I am hoping this is my break!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Yup, direct answers are never good.

I always used to say "I put out oil well fires" and every single time they believed me. I was never questioned. But of course back then I had no game so I would say "I'm only kidding".

I've come a long way, men.

 

[Zarky]

Heres the thing, as mystery said, you can avoid the question "what do you do" once, but twice and she starts getting suspicious, and three times youre hiding something and she's done.

 

[AmIAFC]

I'm on the verge of being unemployed (company just got bought out, and I'm getting a fat severance check), and the girl I'm seeing knows this and has been unconcerned about it because she knows I'm a natural-born earner. If my upcoming employment status ever becomes an issue, she can simply bounce and my life will be just as fine.

 

[5string]

Tell 'em you own and operate a frisbee repair shop.

 

[FairShake]

I haven't been unemployed since I started working at the age of 13. I've never been fired and have worked absolutely every job there is. From caddying to driving cabs, washing dishes, prep chef, waiter, cutting grass, laying sheetrock, roofing, to being a carpenter and now a nurse. I am too proud and too well connected not to work if I need money.

What did I tell women when I was making minimum wage working 12 hours a day in a diner? I told her I was on the come up. Told her I was making moves. If they didn't want to be a part of THAT then they weren't a good fit for me.

That said, if a woman wants to reject you for being unemployed that's conditionally fine. Same if a man is looking at an unemployed woman. Nothing wrong with being unemployed by the way but if I'm going to date you you need to have the basic necessities of life taken care of. I'm not feeding and clothing you. I may maintain contact while you are struggling and give you encouragement but I am not putting in my all while you aren't bringing anything to the table.