Telling Whether a Girl Is Interested in You

[drawde]

Originally posted by Clint Eastwood

10. If you're silent, she asks, "What are you thinking?"

This is far beyond C&F gold.. more like platinum!
I'm droolin just thinkin of how many great ways there are to reply to that one, which makes me wonder if "planting" a silence like that in the middle of a date might be a good battle plan...(assuming you KNOW she has a high IL and will ask the question)
I may have to try that some time!

 

[StuartScott x 2]

Originally posted by REd-xL
Don't worry dawg, she'll be back.

Rx

Hey Red, I think she wants my "7.5 Inches"

Check it out. I worked today and I saw the girl's friend that came in on Saturday with the girl I liked. We'll call the girl I like Mary and the other girl Jane. So Jane comes in with her bf and some other guy and I get them and wait on them. As soon as I wait on them, I'm cracking jokes and what not and when it's slow I go sit with them. I say something like "hey Jane, who was that girl you came in with on Saturday, I think she's kind of cute". So Jane is like, "Oh mary, eevryone thinks she's cute, bla bla bla, this is her ex bf right here" He was the other guy there. I lok at him and subconsciously (I know this is shallow) say to myself, "I look better than this guy, I know I can get her." I talk to him and I'm like "if I hit on your ex, would you mind" and he's like "go for it, I don't care." Anyway I give Jane my number to give to this guy I've been trying to get in contact with, not to give to mary (that thought didn't even cross my mind) so anyway they leave or whatnot and my shift ended at 1. I get home at around 3, get on the computer and all of a sudden receive a phone call at 3:30 in the morning.

It's Mary calling to "straighten things out" riiiiiight. Apparently when I was waiting on them, the guys were saying stuff like, she wouldn't go for you, she only goes for hispanic and white dudes (the girl is black btw ....and I'm Black btw) so her friend hears this and tells her what the guys have been saying. So she calls me to get things straight saying stuff like "those guys are jealous bla bla bla". She also knew damn near everything I was saying to the table b/c jane told her everything, about me leaving in 2 weeks, how many ounces of hydro I have, I even joked about how she may know my SS #. I was kind of hoping for jane to tell mary what I said about her being cute and mary coming in on one of my shifts so I can close on her but Jane gave mary my phone number and I just got off the phone with her and I got her number, she wanted to go out with me TODAY but I have a date with another chick today so that's out of the question but WE WILL HOOK UP.


Once again great post. I dunno if you stop by anymore so I may post it in your journal. Peace.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Creating interest is better than this one, dont you guys agree?

Telling whether a girl is interested in you or not is fascinating. But don't you think the important thing here that we must do is to CREATE INTEREST to make sure they're interested in us.

Beyond that point, we dont have to look for clues, signs, and anything else to confirm whether she is interested in us cause we already knew they are.!

Why? Because we make them become interested in us.

 

[REd-xL]

Re: Creating interest is better than this one, dont you guys agree?

Originally posted by IntermediateDonJuaner
Telling whether a girl is interested in you or not is fascinating. But don't you think the important thing here that we must do is to CREATE INTEREST to make sure they're interested in us.

Beyond that point, we dont have to look for clues, signs, and anything else to confirm whether she is interested in us cause we already knew they are.!

Why? Because we make them become interested in us.

No, because attempts at creating interest aren't failproof. It's foolish to blindly assume success without looking for support (and unless you're straight-up going to ask her how she feels about you [AFC practice], you need to rely on reading her). Besides, it's very true: women do decide within the first short moments of meeting you whether they dig you or not.

Rx

 

[StockTrader]

These are great tips. I went to a sales seminar about 6 weeks ago, sat next to a cute 7.5 girl. She was the shyer type but still a hot little bod. We had the eye contact, she laughed at some of my silly jokes, and she even rubbed/massaged my hand to demonstrate something she had seen (the best 10 seconds of the seminar).

Being the AFC that I was, of course, I didn't take it any farther. One of the traps I've fallen into is waiting for all the planets to align themselves, then be certain that she likes me, then ask her out or for her phone number. But you could be waiting forever for her to show every type of interest possible.

If I had to rank the indicators of interest, the most obvious one is touch. Girls don't go around touching any random guy. Now, she might just be friendly. But if she touches you differently than touching others, then thats gold IMO. When that girl was massaging my palm, completely volunteerily, that should have been my cue. I don't know if any one indicator works perfectly 100% of the time, but you've gotta go for the percentages.

I probably don't place as much value in eye contact as I should. What's the different between "normal" everyday EC, and EC that shows her interested in you?

 

[becker]

This is a great thread, because it deals with one of the more interesting areas.

I agree about the touching part, especially if she's not a girl who goes around hugging and hanging off every guy she knows. There's this one girl I know who absolutely never touches anyone. She has a BF though, but she would put her hand on my shoulder, accidentally kick me repeatedly, touch elbows with me when we sat next to each other, etc. Nothing too blatant, but nevertheless, small hints. We also have a lot in common, and I remember I showed her pictures of when I was younger and I played sports (we both played the same sport and I was totally obsessive and she knew it) and the next day she would bring pictures of her, without me even asking, and then she tells me how she tells her parents about me and she even took home pictures of me to show her family.

Anyways, I digress.

As for the eye contact, it's pretty key. I've seen the pupils in a girl's eyes literally enlarge right before my eyes (let's say they're looking down at something, and they lift up to look at you, and you can see the pupils get larger). That's always a good sign.

As for holding eye contact, you have to be able to gaze deeply into a girl's eyes and hold it for a while, not just a quick glance and pull away. I've gotten extremely good at this since I've been able to be friends with hot girls that I'd actually be interested in if not for BFs. To me, this is a secret tactic that many here would not agree with because it seems to go against the DJ rules. To me, having girl friends who are hot but are in relationships allows you to practice eye contact with a hot girl without holding back because you know that she's involved, so there won't be any rejection to worry about. I think part of it is the empowering feeling you get when you know that you're single and she isn't, so she can't have you, but you can flirt all you want since you have no ball and chain. Just try it, because sometimes even girls who are involved start to feel that sense of intimidation (the good kind that attraction is sometimes based on) and have a hard time beating you at the eye contact game even though they might be totally hot. You learn to disarm the hot babe.

Then, after you've built up your comfort at looking deeply into a hot girl's eyes, you apply it to actual situations where you will need to do it without getting nervous. This is easy because with all the practice, you have become so used to it.

 

[Boono11]

First of all great post red. second my friend told me a good way to tell if a girl is interested in you at the end of a date is to tickle her. If she lets you then she is most likely interested in you. Just my 2 cents.

Boono11

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by becker
As for the eye contact, it's pretty key. I've seen the pupils in a girl's eyes literally enlarge right before my eyes (let's say they're looking down at something, and they lift up to look at you, and you can see the pupils get larger). That's always a good sign.

Yeah, Doc Love says that "women don't have Interest Level meters on their foreheads" but my old man swears that a girl's pupils are basically just that.

I have this female friend, she's really hot but I found from a third party she has a boyfriend. Anyway, I have always suspected that she has had a thing for me, and recently she invited me over to her apt., -- ostensibly to do homework but we ended up also having dinner and watching a movie -- and her pupils were jammed open against the stops for almost the entire time. Rather freaky. Because of other ways she was acting I figured she was interested. At the very end, I went for a kiss, and she didn't kiss back (I got the corner of her mouth) -- however, she didn't discourage me in any way, and looking back on it, I'm positive it was an ASD. It's possible that I can get somewhere with her, if I'm reading her behavior correctly.

BGMan

 

[REd-xL]

Originally posted by becker
To me, this is a secret tactic that many here would not agree with because it seems to go against the DJ rules. To me, having girl friends who are hot but are in relationships allows you to practice eye contact with a hot girl without holding back because you know that she's involved, so there won't be any rejection to worry about.

On the topic of hot female friends, they are an absolute goldmine! So you'll just have to settle for friends with a girl; big deal! Seriously, there's so many advantages to having a plethora of female friends, and if they're hot, it gets you noticed by other girls and you become a threat to other guys. My female friends give me all the tips I need to dress well, how to do my hair, how to behave with certain chicks, etc.

Here's the thing with the advice of girls, though. You've just got to find the ones that will be honest with you. My best friend, Bev, continually reminds me to play hard to get, not to be predictable, and it always works. But then you always have those girls that tell you to be "nice". But when you cop them out for being full of sh!t and hypocritical, then they become honest with you too. It's all a game of not taking their bullshi!t and forcing the truth out of them. If you play hardball, you'll get answers. If you just nod and accept what they tell you, you're just exemplifying the same door mat you are when you try flirting with girls.

Assertiveness applies to so many avenues of life. Don't allow yourself to be walked all over.

Rx

 

[becker]

Originally posted by BGMan
Yeah, Doc Love says that "women don't have Interest Level meters on their foreheads" but my old man swears that a girl's pupils are basically just that.

I have this female friend, she's really hot but I found from a third party she has a boyfriend. Anyway, I have always suspected that she has had a thing for me, and recently she invited me over to her apt., -- ostensibly to do homework but we ended up also having dinner and watching a movie -- and her pupils were jammed open against the stops for almost the entire time. Rather freaky. Because of other ways she was acting I figured she was interested. At the very end, I went for a kiss, and she didn't kiss back (I got the corner of her mouth) -- however, she didn't discourage me in any way, and looking back on it, I'm positive it was an ASD. It's possible that I can get somewhere with her, if I'm reading her behavior correctly.

BGMan

Be careful about the pupil dilation thing though, because as much as I think it's a great gauge, there are environmental factors to be taken into account. There's an old post with some good tips on this, but it was a while ago, so maybe you'll have to dig deep to find it. I believe I started it, and it's titled "eye contact", but not sure if it's in this forum or the discussions forum.

Anyways, if you're in a bright room, her pupils will tend to be smaller, but at the same time, if you make them dilate, it's definitely high percentage since you actually have factors weighing against pupil dilation. If light is not a factor, see if her pupils dilate just as much when she talks to other people. I've seen a girl whose pupils dilate when she talks to other people too, besides myself, and I'm waiting to see if they don't dilate for anyone. Last of all, if the topic of conversation is of particular interest to her, they might be dilated as well.

To me, the only real surefire test is the bright room test. If the lights are pretty bright, and her pupils dilate, you're as good as gold.

Even if they aren't dilated, look to hold eye contact too, since that's almost as good since it says a lot about your confidence.

I tend to find female friends useful mainly because you can practice your flirting, eye contact, etc. with them, and if you can do it without any ulterior motives, then they might even fall for you (which has happened). This is another reason why if you choose female friends, they should be girls that you'd actually consider going out with.

One thing that happened to me recently was that there was this girl who I was friends with who I was practicing all this flirty stuff with (eye contact, C+F, but not even kino!) and she was all over me. Too bad, because I was thinking that if it was a girl I was interested in, it would have been perfect.

 

[One on One]

13. She buys you condoms and suggests hanging out.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by becker
Anyways, if you're in a bright room, her pupils will tend to be smaller, but at the same time, if you make them dilate, it's definitely high percentage since you actually have factors weighing against pupil dilation. If light is not a factor, see if her pupils dilate just as much when she talks to other people. I've seen a girl whose pupils dilate when she talks to other people too, besides myself, and I'm waiting to see if they don't dilate for anyone. Last of all, if the topic of conversation is of particular interest to her, they might be dilated as well.

To me, the only real surefire test is the bright room test. If the lights are pretty bright, and her pupils dilate, you're as good as gold.

Even if they aren't dilated, look to hold eye contact too, since that's almost as good since it says a lot about your confidence.

Already did this test last week, actually! They dilated like crazy when I said something to her (and yes, the room was lit, with fluorescent lights and so on), but actually constricted when the instructor did. I have also noticed that recently, in two cases I can recall, she looks rather annoyed when I talk to other girls. Yesterday I was talking to this one girl and she walked over and stood a little ways off with a concerned expression on her face. Hehe.

Also, to anyone else who reads this, when I said she was a "female friend", I mean as a casual good-terms acquaintance -- in the DJ sense, in other words. I'm kinda out of practice being an AFC.

BGMan

 

[becker]

That's always a great feeling, because even if she wasn't particularly interested in you, dilated pupils is a good sign anyways.

In your case, there are all sorts of signals going off. I wish that this one girl I was interested in was like that. She acts exactly like her astrological sign says her type acts, which to me is scary.

 

[krd]

You guys should probably read this article:

http://acmelove.com/flirting/natural-flirts.php

 

[becker]

krd, interesting link. I've seen some of the posts there on this board as well. However, the one you pointed to seemed to be a little different in that it didn't mention pupil dilation, something that we supposedly don't have control over, as much as say doing flirtatious moves.

 

[StockTrader]

When I hold eye contact with a girl, I sometimes wonder if I'm doing it for too long. For example, let's say we're talking sitting across from each other. I'll just focus on one eye, look straight at it, and hold it until she breaks EC.

What's the longest number of seconds you should hold direct EC with a girl?

I use to be scared to death of direct EC with hotties, but its actually kinda fun now. Seeing if I can hold it longer than she can.

 

[krd]

Originally posted by becker
krd, interesting link. I've seen some of the posts there on this board as well. However, the one you pointed to seemed to be a little different in that it didn't mention pupil dilation, something that we supposedly don't have control over, as much as say doing flirtatious moves.

Yeah, but do you really think dialated pupils means much of anything? As you mentioned, it has a lot to do with environment as well. It could also just be an automatic physical reaction. If you're not ugly or anything, looking into her eyes may be somewhat of an intense moment for her. But it doesn't mean she's interested in you. Women are picky. They can afford to be. Any woman who's the slightest bit attractive usually has guys hitting on her all the time, so she has the luxury of holding out for the one she is really attracted to. Whereas a man, if he finds a woman attractive at all, it's almost certain he'd go out with her. We've got less options.

So it's probably a waste of time reading into all these subtle cues. Imagine a guy saying "I could have sworn she liked me, but then I saw her pupils weren't dilated" or vice versa. As the saying goes "Actions speak louder than those dots in the middle of your eyeballs." And with women, even actions don't always mean what we think they mean.

 

[PEACEDJ]

Thanks for the tips RedXL. It's always good to refresh your memory.

 

[Dee-Zy]

I'm like your friend - exceptionally good to read ppl but don't do sh!t. Mainly cuz I'm too picky ... dunno

but I have to warn about 'reading people' though. The curse is that if u find a girl that u are interested N she gives u all these signs ... it is very easy to act AFC. One day she is very warm N u'll be on top of the world N the next day she is cold N u fall in depression.

Always remember - it is YOUR interest that counts. YOU are interested in her so it doesn't matter if they are or not. You do what u do because you want to. To read girls will f#ck u over.

Learn from my mistakes.

Red - Read my post (link is the first one in my sig)

tell me watcha think - ol school to ol school.

GHOST

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Answering "What are you thinking?"

Originally posted by drawde
This is far beyond C&F gold.. more like platinum!
I'm droolin just thinkin of how many great ways there are to reply to that one, which makes me wonder if "planting" a silence like that in the middle of a date might be a good battle plan...(assuming you KNOW she has a high IL and will ask the question)
I may have to try that some time!

Strange - I hate that question, cos it's always, always something that I can't tell her straight out. So I'm interested in how you would answer it. Would all your answers be C&F? Or do you have any straight ones too?

Osc.