Tell her you like her

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

Try to remember that logic goes right out the window when you're talking about how attraction works. If you do somehow trip up a woman's brain and make her go logical, guess what happens....attraction shuts down. Logic and attraction happen from different parts of the brain. That's why if one kicks on the other often kicks off. That's why dazzling them with bull**** can get you laid. That's the bottom line. "I like you", applied at the wrong time, can snap them out of that emotionally fulfilling vibe and make them come back to reality because it's such a powerful statement. That's bad because then attraction often goes out the door when that stark reality smacks them across the face.

I love the physiological answer here. Nice.

To the OP:

I was 16 when I joined this forum and I had silly questions and I was straightened out by the veterans on this forum. My questions were idiotic, and I was called an idiot.

Don't take it personally, it's all a part of the learning process. You'll look back and read your old questions and laugh or cringe at how moronic they were... I still cringe at how bad I was back then.

-----

But to your answer, it takes more balls to show a female your attraction to her than to tell her. I say that referencing to you saying: "I believe that if you can't tell a girl you like her, you are not enough of a man to be in a relationship with her."

"You aren't giving the girl any control, you're letting her decide what she thinks of you so she can tell you her feelings."

You said it yourself.

Why would you tell her you like her if it'll subconsciously make her decide on the spot of she likes you or not?

I don't know what mindset you're on... but this isn't grade school where you have your first girlfriend.

Taking "things" to another level doesn't automatically happen once both your "likings" are synched. Saying you both like each other doesn't automatically cut out the awkwardness. What are you going to do, say you like each other... then hold hands or something?

That reminds me of shows like The Simpsons making fun of socially-awkward people doing that on a park bench.

Telling her that you like her possibly might work when you're on a romantic or intimate level already. But, being on an intimate/romantic level already means you both understand your relationship, AKA: feelings for one another. So, what's the point when you're already passed the "usefulness" of telling her you like her?

-----

Think of this as a game. I like soccer, so I'll use it as a metaphor.

You have the ball in possession... and you want to score, right? You don't score by giving the other team the ball. You score by getting past their defense, and possibly making a long shot into the goal.

The ball symbolized who's in control of the "relationship" (a relationship doesn't strictly mean dating)... so this means you're in control of where everything is going--telling her you like her would be equivalent to you passing her team the ball. You WERE in control, until you passed her team the ball.

And the rest of the metaphor isn't as relevant.. but I'll write it out for amusement.

If you were to hold on to the ball, and out-maneuver her defense (her excuses, doubts, questioning, etc.) you can take a shot at the goal (phone number, kiss, etc). You won't make a goal if you don't have control of the ball.

 

[Nutz]

Here's an old quote that really seems to sum up the sentiment we're all trying to convey:

"A man who makes known his love by words is a fool" - Giacomo Casanova

 

[trd323]

Here's an old quote that really seems to sum up the sentiment we're all trying to convey:

"A man who makes known his love by words is a fool" - Giacomo Casanova

Biggest PIMP in history, But it was not how many lovers he had, but the love he SHOWED every single women that makes him a legend. I an guarantee you that wilt chamberlain(1000+ women) will be forgotten or tommy lee, but casanova will always be talked about.
Thay had a special on past lovers on the history channel.Check it out

 

[Igetit!]

To those of you who don't believe in using the phrase "I like you" with a woman:

Girls are people too. Imagine having a girl that you hang out with come out and tell you she likes you. How would that feel...

If a woman who I liked and was interested in told me that she likes me,it would make me feel good. Who wouldn't want to hear that from someone they like? But women are more emotional than we are. You say that to a woman,then she'll get an emotional/ego charge out of it,like Nutz said. You boosting her in this way will cause her to look down on you because it's like you praising her. Then it just turns into the whole pedistal thing,and you know how that turns out.
Saying "I like you" to a girl is like telling her she's hot,it doesn't effect her attraction level for you,it just fills her full of pride. She'll think she's somehow "above" you,then she'll seek out someone who's she feels is above her,someone she can look up to,someone stronger than she is.
If she somehow gets the impression or feeling that she's "above" you,yeah,she might feel good because of the ego thing,but the male/female attraction (from her perspective) will die,because women aren't attracted to men who they feel are beneath them.

I believe that if you can't tell a girl you like her, you are not enough of a man to be in a relationship with her.

Uhh.....where did you get this from? Look,if you want to tell some girl you like her,go for it dude. To me,the fact that you even made this thread in the first place means that somewhere in your mind,you have some reservations about it. You have some hesitation somewhere. If not,then why did you even bother to ask this question in the first place?

For those who believe in this disadvantage, do your thoughts come from personal experience and personal beliefs, or are they just restatements of an old "tip" you've read when you were starting out, with no definitive reason behind it all?

The thing that I don't understand is,why would this whole "I like you" thing even come up in/as a topic of conversation in the first place? I don't need a woman to tell me with words that she likes me for me to know it. If I ask her out on a date,and she says yes and actually shows up for the date,that's all I need right there.
If she tries to hold my hand,if she tries to kiss me,if she suggests us two getting together and hanging out and she follows through with those plans,that's all I need. In fact,I'd rather she do all these things instead of hearing her say "I like you" any day. If you actually have to get into a conversation about the two of you liking each other,then you're already off track somewhere.

If you have a pretty decent relationship with a girl you're interested in, tell her you like her already.

If you have a decent relationship,you wouldn't need to tell her you like her. You just be.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Think of this as a game. I like soccer, so I'll use it as a metaphor.

You have the ball in possession... and you want to score, right? You don't score by giving the other team the ball. You score by getting past their defense, and possibly making a long shot into the goal.

The ball symbolized who's in control of the "relationship" (a relationship doesn't strictly mean dating)... so this means you're in control of where everything is going--telling her you like her would be equivalent to you passing her team the ball. You WERE in control, until you passed her team the ball.

And the rest of the metaphor isn't as relevant.. but I'll write it out for amusement.

If you were to hold on to the ball, and out-maneuver her defense (her excuses, doubts, questioning, etc.) you can take a shot at the goal (phone number, kiss, etc). You won't make a goal if you don't have control of the ball.

This is so true! Love is definitely like a game in this way. Sure there are winners and losers, but the gameplan is up to the playa.

How does saying 'I like you' give control to a woman though?
In my mind when I made this thread I thought that statement would be harmless to a girl's interest level in you.

I consider "I like you" under the class of a compliment, but at the same time a trail for her to follow if she chooses to. I still think words and actions can be interchangable, so I see absolutely no negativity from this statement, unless the woman draws the conclusion that she really doesn't like you. Even so, it's not completely negative because that's a flag that she's uninterested and you won't end up getting mixed signs from her if she doesn't seem very attracted to you by her actions.


I really, really, really want to figure this one thing out though...
This is off-topic to "I like you," but is very important for a man to know.

In the above "soccer metaphor," how do you get past this defensive barrier that women have? Like how do you actually take control of the relationship?

You mentioned excuses, doubts, questioning... How do you maneuver past these blocks, without appearing like you're trying to hard?

This is something common for many guys, especially me in my opinion. How can you get something definitive from a woman and set up a date, with something already in mind for you two to do together?

I'm talking about a passage from those "I don't know" and "I can't, I'm busy" lines.

In other words, regarding the previous post, how do you gain this "control" and use it to present yourself as somebody who makes her feel is above her, somebody she can look up to you, and somebody who's stronger than her?

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

I consider "I like you" under the class of a compliment, but at the same time a trail for her to follow if she chooses to.

There are other ways to compliment a female. Read up on ****y&Funny type of compliments.

If your logic is "I still think words and actions can be interchangable", then phonesex and cybersex might be your thing.

The whole point of the answer to your question is that as a man, you want to escalate to the physical level. The point is to avoid saying phrases verbally if you are able to show it physically.

I'm not sure if you're asking this question for a future reference, or if theres a female you're interested in... but imagine a girl that you like, and you believe she likes you too. You can tell her you like her by easy, simple gestures: your hand on her arm, your hand on her waist, your hand on her lower back. They aren't threatening... and chances she will like having friendly physical contact.

Think of it this way, you are the typical guy who isn't schooled in this subject. Typical guys (and girls) are afraid of the opposite gender. This girl most likely doesn't get any physical contact other than from her girlfriends.

Hugging doesn't count, as it's the most non-intimate physical contact between high school kids.

It'll show that you are comfortable touching someone, and that you're probably comfortable being touched. She'll get a kick out of it, and will most likely mirror what you did back to you.

In the above "soccer metaphor," how do you get past this defensive barrier that women have? Like how do you actually take control of the relationship?

There's many ways to out manuever a girls excuses, doubts, and questionings.

If you played a sport like soccer or something and you were getting rocked with a score of 0-9, you'd know that the winning team with 9 will stop scoring and just play monkey in the middle with the losing team.

They're the winners because they know how to keep control of the ball. They can continue scoring goals if they wanted to, but they decide they want to set the pace for both of the teams. Sometimes the winning team would "accidentally" pass the losing team the ball because they feel sorry for them or because they want to have a "challenge"... but they quickly gain the ball back. They decided the fate of the game.

This metaphor is self-explanatory, so I'll move on to why I made that metaphor.

To out maneuver the defense, you have to keep control of the ball. The best way to keep control of a relationship, is to never even let the other person think they had control in the first place. But of course, don't be a jerk and in your face about it. How do you do that?

You make the decisions and set the times. You want to hang out for the first time? Flirt, joke, get the number and get her comfortable with you. Eventually she'll let her guard down about you (everyone is a weird stranger at first), then you can see if she's interested in going out for lunch or coffee (dinners are dates). Ask her what days is she not busy. Then, tell her that's great... but you'll let her know when a good day would be for you, but you'll get back to her "soon".

You just out-maneuvered her "I'm busy" excuse by knowing her schedule beforehand, yet keeping the ball in control.

You just out-maneuvered her "I don't know" doubts by getting her comfortable with you by her letting her guard down.

 

[Igetit!]

In my mind when I made this thread I thought that statement would be harmless to a girl's interest level in you.

Really? Wow. I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that you're only 16. You "don't get it",but I can't blame you because when I was 16,I didn't understand attraction for women either. But you're better off than I was,at least you have this forum.

I really, really, really want to figure this one thing out though...
This is off-topic to "I like you," but is very important for a man to know.

In the above "soccer metaphor," how do you get past this defensive barrier that women have? Like how do you actually take control of the relationship?

You just have to be a man,period. You have to put your pride,self-respect,your life and well-being above your desire for women.
For example,let's say you like a girl,but the girl disrespects you in some way. I'm not saying to yell or curse at the girl,but you have to make it clear to her that you're not going to allow her (or anyone) to mistreat you and you just sit back and take it. And if that means you kicking her to the curb,then so be it. The single most important thing a guy can have to make a woman look up to and respect him is what the majority of guys are scared to do....which is to have a wllingness to walk away. And to mean it.

Most guys are so desperate for a girl,that they'll let a woman talk down to them,mistreat them,and walk all over them simply because they think it they let her go,then they won't be able to find another girl. In other words,they stay with her out of fear...and women can sense this.

If you get nothing else out of this reply,GET THIS:IN ORDER TO HAVE ATTRACTION,IN ORDER TO HAVE HER RESPECT YOU,IN ORDER TO MAKE HER "LOOK UP" TO YOU,YOU HAVE TO RISK LOSING HER. In order to keep her,SHE HAS TO KNOW that you can and are willing to walk away at anytime if she blantantly disrespects you. She has to know this. If she thinks you'll stay with her no matter what she says or does,all attraction will go out the window for her.

In other words, regarding the previous post, how do you gain this "control" and use it to present yourself as somebody who makes her feel is above her, somebody she can look up to you, and somebody who's stronger than her?

Believe it or not,this is easier than you might think. Let me break this thing down a little:I learned a long time ago that women are attracted to "men who radiate superior power".
Well,what does that mean in english? Simple. A woman wants a man who is superior to her. It's just that simple. Think about it-I don't care how tall a woman is,she wants a guy who's taller than her. She can be a millionaire,but you know what? She wants a guy who's richer. She may be able to lift 100lbs.,but she still wants a guy who's stronger than her. Believe it or not,a woman is willing to submit herself to a man,she just won't submit herself to a WEAK man,someone she feels,feelsfeels,is inferior to her.

Check out these examples and tell me which one seems more masculine,more dominant for a man to say to a woman:

A man saying to a woman,"I want to be with you",or him TELLING her,"I want you to be with me". Image yourself saying both of these things to a woman. Which one do you think would make you seem more powerful,more masculine?

Here's another one:Let's say you ask her out and she says yes. Then you say,"What days do you have off?" or "When are you free?" You can say either of these two things or you can simply TELL HER when you're available. It's all about frame control. Don't get sucked into her life,draw her into yours. If you ask her out and she says yes,ask her what she's going to wear FOR YOU. Yeah,that's not a type-o,I said "FOR YOU".

Let me tell you something that happened to me that taught me a lesson a few years ago. I decided to try an experiement one time. Now generally,whenever I'd ask a girl out,and she'd tell me she had a boyfriend,I'd reply with,"Oh,you have a boyfriend. Oh,well that's cool,I understand. Well,it was nice meeting you.",then I'd leave. Well one day,I decided to do something a little different. So the next time I approached a girl and I got the boyfriend line,this is what happened:

me:Hey,you don't have a ring on your finger. Good. So when are we going out?
her:I have a boyfriend.
me: (in a more stern,direct tone) Look,I didn't ask you if you had a boyfriend. I ASKED YOU when we're going out.
her:Well,....I'm going to (name of a club) tonight.

Now when this happened,I was SHOCKED! Shocked to the max. I never had anything happen to me like that before. But I learned something that day.

Be strong,be agressive,be a man. Stand up for yourself. Do you understand why it's so important to stand up for yourself? It's because the way she sees you treat yourself is how she thinks you are with your like in general. If you won't stand up and protect yourself,then you won't stand up for your life and property. If you won't protect yourself,then you won't protect your car,house,and other things in your life. That's what she'll think. If you won't stand up for yourself,then she'll think you won't stand up for her. If you won't protect yourself and your belongings,then she'll think that you won't protect her if she were to get into a relationship with you.

She needs to see that you can and will stand up for yourself,and the FIRST PERSON you'll need to stand up to is HER....if she tries to disrespect or walk all over you.

Woo,I'm tired. That's a lot of typing for me man. Anyway,I hope I said something helpful to you man.

Peace.

 

[izza]

Why do you say it's doing something right?

I have observed and absolutely agree with something Juggler said, strength is speaking your mind openly and effectively. I have done what the OP is talking about and succeeded. Then again, I am an honest, open, sexual person.

I think it is dangerous to judge what will work for the inarticulate. We all need to learn to be more direct and more articulate.

Have any among you watched the videos in my signature?

Best,
Izza

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I want to be honest with everybody here and tell you that I do have oneitis for a girl and I'm currently in stage 4 with her, trying to hang out with her. I previously asked if she wanted to hang out with me during February vacation and she said that she was visiting a family member for the whole vacation.
I could care less if she's interested in me or not so I'm ready to take yes or no for an answer, but I will not take a maybe or and I don't know because I value the truth. Personally, I believe my chances with her have gone downhill abut even so, I still want to prep myself with knowledge so I can properly handle things.

Anyway...This is what I've collected so far:

-You show interest through friendly, unthreatening physical contact (except hugging.)
-You make decisions for the both of you - if you want to hang out, invite her to do something specific with you and ask her when she's available (great opportunity for number close after this if you say you'll get back to her.)
-Defend yourself if you feel disrespected, stand up for yourself.
-Here's a slight contradiction, but nothing too big - when preparing to set up a date, tell her when you're available - I'm gonna rephrase this idea to: make your word the final decision, leave her waiting for you to respond.

This has been extremely helpful, guys! Thank you for taking the time and wearing out your fingers for me lol.
I have a couple questions about these ideas though.

First, when you're outmaneuvering a girl, to avoid the "I don't know" response, you have to set up your questions to avoid yes/no answers, am I right?
Now for asking a girl questions that could have "no" answers, but rephrased(I'm busy, maybe later, etc.), you want to outmaneuver these by contradicting the "rephrased no" answers with a question that you would have asked if you knew her answer would be yes.
This second remark I made is obscure, but basically you want to go one step ahead with a set of questions you might ask, choosing one based on an assumed "yes" from the girl you're asking.
Wow my brain actually hurts now. Is this statement true though?

I'm addressing this "being the man in control of your relationship" technique simply because I totally SUCK at it!
What is the mindset that successful men have when addressing this?


My second question has to do with gaining a woman's respect and admiration.
Yes this is definitely not something I should be working towards, but I need to know what I can do to portray myself as a respectable and admirable man.

I'm confused about some of the stuff Igetit said about making her look up to you and risking losing her. Some of it sounds like it could come from a conceited guy, like asking a girl what she'll wear for you.
Should men fear being labeled conceited?

How do you put yourself out into the spotlight and make girls watch you like you're the star of the show, without seeming like you're self absorbed?
I don't understand how men can make girls respect and admire them without it being earned beforehand.

How do you acquire somebody's respect?
How do you acquire somebody's admiration?

I am totally lost at this point, because I don't know what woman in general respect and admire.

 

[izza]

nutz, aaagent, BBJ1083, San Jose California, Warrior74, MisterMcGee, lalahaha, Jitterbug, Leporello, jc.dunn, Michele, l'Arcangelo, trd323, Igetit!

Do any of you have any personal experience telling a girl directly that you like her?

I hear a lot of reasons and arguments about how it's not the most effective thing. But I just want to know if anyone here has any personal experience trying it.

I understand that most on this board don't think it's a good idea. I'm not saying you should have tried it. I'm not saying you don't necessarily have the "cajones" to try it. I'm asking if you have any personal experience trying this, and it failing.

I hate to break this to you all - but this is not something a high school kid made up. This is Juggler's method (the guy Neil liked in The Game).

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=9EDA1EF50BAFB5D7

Moreover, I've tried this, and it worked great for me. Women knew what I wanted, I expressed it in a mature way, and our sexual connection went up a lot. I highly recommend following Juggler's advice.

Again, those who reject Juggler's tips on theoretical grounds, I am not interested in a theoretical debate. Try Juggler's stuff, field test it. I'm only interested in personal stories. To be honest also, I'm not too interested in reasons why you're not going to try it. I absolutely respect your decision, and I'm sure you'll do what's best for you after watching these videos.

I trust you. No need to explain anything to me. I'm not here to debate. I'm here to exchange experience. Thanks for understanding.

Best wishes,
Izza

 

[Jitterbug]

nutz, aaagent, BBJ1083, San Jose California, Warrior74, MisterMcGee, lalahaha, Jitterbug, Leporello, jc.dunn, Michele, l'Arcangelo, trd323, Igetit!

Do any of you have any personal experience telling a girl directly that you like her?

I hear a lot of reasons and arguments about how it's not the most effective thing. But I just want to know if anyone here has any personal experience trying it.

Why do you think we told him not to? Of course it's from our personal experiences and not from some PUA's "Method".

As I stated in my earlier post, yes I've told a chick directly many times that I like her, when I'm kissing her or taking her clothes off.

Moreover, I've tried this, and it worked great for me. Women knew what I wanted, I expressed it in a mature way, and our sexual connection went up a lot. I highly recommend following Juggler's advice.

Aren't you the virgin who's obsessed with studying sexology or whatever the hell it's called? "Sexual connection went up a lot" - so did you fvck them or what?

To the rest with huge posts: yeah say "I like you" may work at times (so does saying pretty much anything, if the attraction is there) but "show, don't tell" is very very powerful and always works.

"I'm in the Mood" - if you ask a girl to hang out and she keeps making excuses not to, then she isn't keen. Go ask another girl.

As for the rest of it, I couldn't be bothered responding to every question but they're all the same: you're afraid of being seen as such & such by other people when you want to do X. Stop giving a flying rat's arse. Some of the things you do won't go down very well but it's all about learning & getting the experience. Allow yourself to fail. You're only 16, it's a great time to be stupid and fvcking things up! That's what chicks your age dig. Don't try to be mature too soon. You'll have plenty of time for that later!

 

[Igetit!]

nutz, aaagent, BBJ1083, San Jose California, Warrior74, MisterMcGee, lalahaha, Jitterbug, Leporello, jc.dunn, Michele, l'Arcangelo, trd323, Igetit!

Do any of you have any personal experience telling a girl directly that you like her?

Do I have any personal experience with the advice I gave I'm in the Mood? YES. I'm not telling I'm in the Mood some type of theory or something I read in a book,I'm telling him what I've actually done,and what I've experienced. Check out reply number 28 where I gave a breakdown of an actual interaction I had with a girl,one in which she gave me the "I have a boyfriend" line,and I persisted and then she told me about a club where the two of us could meet up later on that night. I'm not making this stuff up. Everything I told I'm in the Mood is what I do myself and have been successful with.

I hear a lot of reasons and arguments about how it's not the most effective thing. But I just want to know if anyone here has any personal experience trying it.

Well I have,but hey,I don't have the corner on this thing. If you are aware of something that may be better or more helpful that what I or some of the other members have been saying to the OP,let us know man. Hey,I'm here to learn just like everybody else.

Ok,now to the op: I didn't mean for what I said to come off as if it was coming from a place of conceitedness. I mean it to come from a place of confidence. And I didn't say to ask her what to wear,I said to TELL HER.
The whole purpose of everything I told you is to make her FEEL. The more masculine/manly you are,the more feminine she'll feel.
A woman had to feel.
A woman has to feel.
A woman has to feel!!!

If she doesn't "feel" anything when she's around you,everything else you do is for nothing.

I don't care how nice you are,I don't care how sweet,how handsome,how funny,how much you two have in common,I don't care how friendly she may seem,how good of a person you think you are to her,if she doesn't "FEEL" anything,all you'll accomplish is wasting your time. I can promise you that. And if you don't believe me,check out Maxtro's thread call "I completely and utterly failed". If you don't make her "feel",you might as well take Maxtro's name out of his thread and insert your own,because I guarantee you that that will be you. I guarantee it.

My thing is this:You made this thread because you need help,which means that what you are currently doing isn't working for you,right? Well if that's the case,then just try out what I said. Give it a try. If it doesn't,if it fails,well so what? You can always go back to your normal way of doing things,right?

Don't worry. You're not Adam. She's not Eve. She's not the only girl in the world. If things don't work out,there will ALWAYS be another girl.

But like I said,she to feel something when she's around you. Heck,it's better for her to feel anger than to feel nothing at all,and I'm serious about that,I'm not kidding. Just be more manly/masculine around her,and she'll automatically feel more like a woman around you. She can never,ever forget that you are a man and she is a woman.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

Do any of you have any personal experience telling a girl directly that you like her?

To be honest, no... not since finding this site. I have before finding this site, but my answer would be skewed since I never really told a female I liked her until we already knew we "liked" each other.

So it doesn't really count.

I think telling a girl you like her is just to get her to shut up when she asks the question of you liking her... you know when they're trying to be cute when you're getting close or something.

First, when you're outmaneuvering a girl, to avoid the "I don't know" response, you have to set up your questions to avoid yes/no answers, am I right?
Now for asking a girl questions that could have "no" answers, but rephrased(I'm busy, maybe later, etc.), you want to outmaneuver these by contradicting the "rephrased no" answers with a question that you would have asked if you knew her answer would be yes.
This second remark I made is obscure, but basically you want to go one step ahead with a set of questions you might ask, choosing one based on an assumed "yes" from the girl you're asking.
Wow my brain actually hurts now. Is this statement true though?

You know when that dorky kid tries talking to you during class by asking you all these yes or no questions? It bugs you, right? You actually aren't even looking at the kid. You're just saying yes or no while you're doing your work.

Think of all the wasted conversation going on by coming up with all these yes or no questions over and over.

That's what you would be doing to the girl you're trying to attract... you're boring her.

I'm addressing this "being the man in control of your relationship" technique simply because I totally SUCK at it!
What is the mindset that successful men have when addressing this?

My second question has to do with gaining a woman's respect and admiration.
Yes this is definitely not something I should be working towards, but I need to know what I can do to portray myself as a respectable and admirable man.
I'm confused about some of the stuff Igetit said about making her look up to you and risking losing her. Some of it sounds like it could come from a conceited guy, like asking a girl what she'll wear for you.
Should men fear being labeled conceited?

How do you put yourself out into the spotlight and make girls watch you like you're the star of the show, without seeming like you're self absorbed?
I don't understand how men can make girls respect and admire them without it being earned beforehand.

How do you acquire somebody's respect?
How do you acquire somebody's admiration?

I am totally lost at this point, because I don't know what woman in general respect and admire.

You probably haven't read some of the best articles on the main site. Also read all of the articles by Allen Thompson, the owner of the site I believe... they're my favorite ones.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/confidence.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/gaining.htm

"I'm in the Mood" - if you ask a girl to hang out and she keeps making excuses not to, then she isn't keen. Go ask another girl.

As for the rest of it, I couldn't be bothered responding to every question but they're all the same: you're afraid of being seen as such & such by other people when you want to do X. Stop giving a flying rat's arse. Some of the things you do won't go down very well but it's all about learning & getting the experience. Allow yourself to fail. You're only 16, it's a great time to be stupid and fvcking things up! That's what chicks your age dig. Don't try to be mature too soon. You'll have plenty of time for that later!

Agreed... it's funny because I was told the same sh1t when I joined this site. People were actually harsher to me because I had "oneitis" and kept saying "AFC" things without even being logical.

At least you're not as deep as I was.... not that I'm saying LTRs are bad.

Anyways, I moved schools to a TINY school the year after I learned things from this site... There weren't really any decent girls but one or two at the school worth pursuing. I got one of them until I was kicked out of the school. So I got my GED instead, and my high school "career" was over like that.

My point is, you want to soak up all the skills you can and put them into action while your means of finding females to game are easy and all around you.

Chances are you won't give a sh1t about them after graduation and vice-versa.

Get going.

 

[izza]

To all posters who seemed to be feeling some hysteria and defensiveness after my post:

I made a mistake that allowed your knickers to get into a knot. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase.

Have any of you watched the videos I posted and tried Juggler's method?

Juggler specifically recommends SOIs - Statements of Interest.

I have tried his method and had many instant dates within 15 minutes. I have tried it later on the phone and it has been very effective. But I usually SOI within 15 minutes to excellent results.

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...DA1EF50BAFB5D7

I understand you ninnies HAVE told women you like them. You all seem traumatized by these memories. It is obvious to me that you have tried this. If you hadn't, you wouldn't feel so much hysteria. I too have tried telling a girl I like her in the wrong way, and it didn't go well.

I didn't mean have you any experience. What I meant is, have you tried Juggler's method of SOIs?

I agree with you: there are right ways and wrong ways to tell women you like them.

You obviously have experienced the wrong way.

When I have tried the right way - within 15 minutes or less - and SOIs have consistently been very effective for me. Juggler will explain the exact reaction I have had.

Again, I learned this from watching the videos, and from speed seduction's Juggler archive.

Would someone please post a link to the speed seduction archive? (I would but I'm at work).

What In the Mood is recommending is part of Juggler's method. In the mood has not explained the rest of the method though, which is why you all seem to be completely against it. So to any of you who think Juggler's method is bad - please do your homework and learn about it before you judge it.

Again, Juggler agrees that there are ineffective ways to tell a girl you like her through words. But he lays out an easy, effective way to tell them.

And please, please, please, do not watch one video and then judge Juggler's method. That is such a waste of my time and yours. He has a whole philosophy that I think you would benefit anyone's toolbelt.

Again, thank you for learning as much as possible about this method before discussing this issue with me.

Best wishes,
Izza

 

[Nutz]

An SOI like calling her "sexy" is far different from slapping her across the face with the wet fish "I like you" is.

 

[russell]

To all posters who seemed to be feeling some hysteria and defensiveness after my post:

I made a mistake that allowed your knickers to get into a knot. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase.

Have any of you watched the videos I posted and tried Juggler's method?

Juggler specifically recommends SOIs - Statements of Interest.

I have tried his method and had many instant dates within 15 minutes. I have tried it later on the phone and it has been very effective. But I usually SOI within 15 minutes to excellent results.

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...DA1EF50BAFB5D7

I understand you ninnies HAVE told women you like them. You all seem traumatized by these memories. It is obvious to me that you have tried this. If you hadn't, you wouldn't feel so much hysteria. I too have tried telling a girl I like her in the wrong way, and it didn't go well.

I didn't mean have you any experience. What I meant is, have you tried Juggler's method of SOIs?

I agree with you: there are right ways and wrong ways to tell women you like them.

You obviously have experienced the wrong way.

When I have tried the right way - within 15 minutes or less - and SOIs have consistently been very effective for me. Juggler will explain the exact reaction I have had.

Again, I learned this from watching the videos, and from speed seduction's Juggler archive.

Would someone please post a link to the speed seduction archive? (I would but I'm at work).

What In the Mood is recommending is part of Juggler's method. In the mood has not explained the rest of the method though, which is why you all seem to be completely against it. So to any of you who think Juggler's method is bad - please do your homework and learn about it before you judge it.

Again, Juggler agrees that there are ineffective ways to tell a girl you like her through words. But he lays out an easy, effective way to tell them.

And please, please, please, do not watch one video and then judge Juggler's method. That is such a waste of my time and yours. He has a whole philosophy that I think you would benefit anyone's toolbelt.

Again, thank you for learning as much as possible about this method before discussing this issue with me.

Best wishes,
Izza

juggler is my favorite PUA, but that link doesn't work that you posted.

 

[izza]

An SOI like calling her "sexy" is far different from slapping her across the face with the wet fish "I like you" is.

I have said "I like you", and it worked fine. I had been discussing sex stuff a lot, so we had a good sexual chemistry by around the 15 minute mark.

I agree that the word sexy is more direct, though.

Izza

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

How does saying "I like you" harm you in any way?
If you say it she'll still want to find out how much you like her won't she?

No. In fact exactly the opposite. You're 16, so your natural impulse is to think of things in an overtly deductive manner. It seems apparent, and entirely logical, to go directly from point A to point B to achieve a desired result. This works fine in algebra, but it's far less effective with women.

Why? Have you ever played poker? You'd be foolish to lay your cards immediately on the table once they'd been dealt. There'd be no challenge, no bluffing, interplay amongst the players in fact. Once you take away that element of uncertainty, and confirm your intentions for a girl, the thrill is gone. I realize at your age this is hard to wrap your head around, but that anxiety is what you want to sustain.

That probably seems counterintuitive to your deductive reasoning. "Why play games, why not say what we mean and mean what we say?" But you're approaching this as a guy would, not a woman. Women have a need for intrigue and drama. When you embody this emotion for them you become a challenge and the feeling she associates with the drama gets transfered to you.

Stop seeing this as a negative - you want a woman to associate you with the rush that comes from being a challenge, that's what keeps the fish on the hook. Women don't want to read the cliff notes of your life or the synopsis of your story from the inside cover of the book that is you. They want to read you a chapter at a time because they get off on NOT knowing what to expect. In fact, you need to use this as a reward for them.

Let a woman's imagination work in your favor; this is a very powerful DJ tool that far too many AFCs automatically think is counterproductive. "Well if I'm not 100% honest and forthcoming with her I'll blow my chances" says the AFC and then wonders why he got LJBFed the day after his date.

Women need to be rewarded by finding out about you layer by layer, tidbit by tidbit, that's what keeps their imaginations working. It's when you vomit out your life's story all over the restaurant table on the first date that there ceases to be anything left for her to figure out and you're LJBFed.

Law 4: Always Say Less than Necessary
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open- ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

There are numerous ways to communicate, "I like you" without uttering a word.

 

[izza]

Does this work?

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=65A7E39AF4C82063&playnext=1

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Damn thats a lot of stuff coming on very fast.

First thing that comes to my mind is..What is a man like? What does a man do? How do you become this man?

I now see that being honest isn't something you should do unless you've already passed the point of asking her to hang out and you hang out together..but anyways.

I have a habit of messing up when I don't have to.
Why fail when you can learn how to do it right?

On my first oneitis I wrote a motherfvcking LOVE NOTE.
I should have had people yelling at me not to do this because this is the WORST SHT EVER.
You almost can't go lower than this. And I'm starting at the bottom, so I can and will learn more very fast.

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and he told me that I had very slim chances with this girl. He told me to "improv it," but only say something if I truly mean it. He actually told me that if you script something it won't work and it's kind of like that "pick-up thing." A very influential conversation, but it again leaves me on my own and leaves me confused.
Another friend that I talked to said that I need to ask to get the girl. This translates to asking her to hang out, because this answer to this question specifically determines if you could possibly get the girl or not.

Now this is a HUGE amount of information that I'm seeking, but I NEED it for the good of my being.

What do you do to make women FEEL? I have little to no experience with emotion, I only know truth and honesty because that was how I was raised.

I'm recalling something from the other day that she said to me: I had said "I hope you did better than me on this test." She said "Did you just say I doubt you did better than me on this test?"

I corrected her but like wow this is so interesting...She felt like I said something harsh to her so she spoke out and showed interest in finding out what I had said.
I believe, until it becomes natural, you actually need to analyze the emotions and interest levels of girls in order to make moves.

This is just something I don't realize, it's not natural for me yet. I only speak the language of words, not the language of emotions.
I want you guys to help me with this because it's completely fvcking up my game. Take the original "I like you" topic of this thread for example. I made this because I was frustrated that I couldn't make any progress with a girl emotionally, so I wanted to go in verbally.

I don't care how childish or un-manly or whatever you think I am, but I want to learn everything about women emotions and how to use them to make her FEEL.

From now on, instead of putting only words into a woman's ear, I genuinely want to put feelings into a woman's whole body.

How do people do this?