Countless times, i've seen people advise others to never allow the girl to have the ball in her court by asking her to call. I believe that these people were well-meaning, but nevertheless, applying this advice would do a lot more harm than good.
The reasoning behind this course of action is that by asking the girl to make the next move, we hand over our power to her and leave ourselves in a position of uncertainty. No one wants to wait around wondering when the girl will call.
But here's the thing. If you're always the one making moves, you're fighting an uphill battle. You firmly set her up as the catch, and yourself as the one doing the chasing. After all, if YOU were the catch, wouldn't SHE be calling all the time?
And this is exactly the outcome you're after. You have to learn to set things up so that SHE has to do all the chasing because SHE doesn't want to be in a position of uncertainty any more than you do. Keep in mind that girls fear rejection a LOT more than guys!
Here's a scenario from earlier today. I called a girl to set up plans, but she asked me to call her back because her minutes are free only after 6PM. Instead, i told her that she should call me herself and she agreed.
Now, this is what a lot of beginners are afraid of. Leaving things up to her. They don't wanna end up not knowing if she'll call or not, waiting, etc. And this is understandable because no one wants to find out at the last second that their plans for the night fell through.
So this is what you do. Make other plans. Call up all your friends and find out what else they're all doing that night. Tell all of them that you MAY join them, but don't make any promises you can't keep.
All of a sudden, you've got options. You can go to a club with Mike, play pool with John, Steve and Frank, go to a bar with Jerry or... go on a date with Mary, if she calls. See how the focus is no longer ON Mary? You don't really care if she calls anymore, because you've got a bunch of other things to do that night.
What if you meet a girl even hotter than Mary when you go out clubbing with Mike? Ask yourself questions like that. Don't flat-out assume that going out with a chick is the absolutely best way to spend your night.
So what happens next? Mary calls back. Actually, she just did. I was shaving and didn't pick up the phone, so she left me a message asking me to call. Now SHE is sitting there all worried, not knowing if i'll call, not knowing what she's doing tonight.
And if she didn't call? That'd be the last time i ever called Mary. Like AD said, "success with women isn't being surrounded with women, its NOT being surrounded with uninterested women." Truly, its far better to be free than attached in any way to chicks who give you headaches.
So learn the lesson fellas. Give her an opportunity to go out with you, but set things up so that if she doesn't call, she won't get to see you. Make her think that you've got other things to do and that you're leaving the ball in her court because if she doesn't call, you won't really care. And you shouldn't.
The reasoning behind this course of action is that by asking the girl to make the next move, we hand over our power to her and leave ourselves in a position of uncertainty. No one wants to wait around wondering when the girl will call.
But here's the thing. If you're always the one making moves, you're fighting an uphill battle. You firmly set her up as the catch, and yourself as the one doing the chasing. After all, if YOU were the catch, wouldn't SHE be calling all the time?
And this is exactly the outcome you're after. You have to learn to set things up so that SHE has to do all the chasing because SHE doesn't want to be in a position of uncertainty any more than you do. Keep in mind that girls fear rejection a LOT more than guys!
Here's a scenario from earlier today. I called a girl to set up plans, but she asked me to call her back because her minutes are free only after 6PM. Instead, i told her that she should call me herself and she agreed.
Now, this is what a lot of beginners are afraid of. Leaving things up to her. They don't wanna end up not knowing if she'll call or not, waiting, etc. And this is understandable because no one wants to find out at the last second that their plans for the night fell through.
So this is what you do. Make other plans. Call up all your friends and find out what else they're all doing that night. Tell all of them that you MAY join them, but don't make any promises you can't keep.
All of a sudden, you've got options. You can go to a club with Mike, play pool with John, Steve and Frank, go to a bar with Jerry or... go on a date with Mary, if she calls. See how the focus is no longer ON Mary? You don't really care if she calls anymore, because you've got a bunch of other things to do that night.
What if you meet a girl even hotter than Mary when you go out clubbing with Mike? Ask yourself questions like that. Don't flat-out assume that going out with a chick is the absolutely best way to spend your night.
So what happens next? Mary calls back. Actually, she just did. I was shaving and didn't pick up the phone, so she left me a message asking me to call. Now SHE is sitting there all worried, not knowing if i'll call, not knowing what she's doing tonight.
And if she didn't call? That'd be the last time i ever called Mary. Like AD said, "success with women isn't being surrounded with women, its NOT being surrounded with uninterested women." Truly, its far better to be free than attached in any way to chicks who give you headaches.
So learn the lesson fellas. Give her an opportunity to go out with you, but set things up so that if she doesn't call, she won't get to see you. Make her think that you've got other things to do and that you're leaving the ball in her court because if she doesn't call, you won't really care. And you shouldn't.
