Tell a girl you "really like" them and then it went sour?

[thedol]

Has anyone had an experience here where you've been seeing a girl for a few days or weeks and then something inside of you has made you say something mushy on the lines of -

I really like you / You give me energy..I don't know, something but something on the lines of being a wuss type of words of saying you are falling in love with this chick

And then after that, something happens where she backs off or loses interest...

Just happened to me when before I was busting and teasing her really badly and she was giving me good attention and playing the game, going out everywhere with me but then I went and did this...and she may be backing off.

 

[thedol]

And yes, I know this goes against the rules of everyone on this forum of what I did ;p

I'm still learning

 

[katatonia]

Yep, it's called throwing away the challenge, acting needy/desperate, seeming like a wuss and giving her all the power ALL IN 1 SENTENCE! No wonder her attraction for you vanished...

Learn and move on.

 

[thedol]

Yea' will do - she was a nice one too - sucks I blew this one

I see her everyday in the gym...moreless every day - she doesn't say anything and I feel like saying something like just be cool and say something "Are you cool?" but I don't know want to go to her and say something because I've done my part, if she wanted to do something she would have come to me which she isn't.

Whatever, like I said - I had her really badly because I was really busting her in the gym where I first met and she even said to me - No guy has called me a "witch" ... I called her one on the first time I met her

I had her real bad, she was following me everywhere then one night, 2 nights back I said the things to her that I shouldn't have - she just smiled and said thank you but since then, we havn't spoken and in the gym I saw her yesterday and the day before, we didn't say a word to each other...and the last week, every night after the gym she was following me around. Ouch - in a big way

 

[thedol]

My question is to the guys who have experience and know what to do -

I really need to change my style - How do you keep that **** inside though? When you feel you really like someone?

If you really like someone, how do you keep playing along or just being ****y/funny all the time?

I managed to do it for the first few times with her and it was working but then I "caved in" you can say and didn't know how to prolong it

 

[thedol]

I don't think I can do something to get this girls interest levels back though can I?...After I've said this **** to her and she's gone cold on me since

Just ignore her? See her everyday in the gym

 

[xdreamz]

it just takes a little practice... if someone said they really liked you wouldn't you be a little creeped out? you want to only tentatively qualify her like, "ur actually a cool person." but to maximize attraction (since people want what they cannot have) you would throw it away a little bit like "just a little wierd"

 

[Igetit!]

Tell her you like her in your actions, not your words. I don't know any examples though.

The examples are easy.

1)Ask her out on a date.
2)Tell her you like the way she looks in something.
3)Hold her hand.
4)Kiss her.


If a girl did any of these thing to me,I'd certainly be under the impression that she likes me.



I don't understand what would possess you to tell this girl you like her when everything was ALREADY going well.



What were you expecting her to do in response to you saying you liked her?


Katatonia has it EXACTLY RIGHT.



You took the challenge away from her. She wanted to work,to put some kind of effort into winning your affection..



If she had had to try,to invest some time and energy into winning you over,then you liking her would be more meaningful and have more value.




It's like if someone gave you a hundred dollars,then you lose it or it came up missing,you've be upset,but it wouldn't be that big of a deal because it just showed up out of the blue.



But if you had worked a full 8 or 9 hours for the money,and the work was difficult or grooling to do,then it came up missing,you'd REALLY be upset and angry because you invested something of yourself into obtaining it.




The money that was given to you,then lost was easy come,easy go.



The money you worked to get wasn't easy come,you had to work,and work hard to get it. It didn't just fall into you lap like the other money did.


You had to go out and make this happen.




Well.....you took the satisfaction out of this thing with her. She was just standing there,then all of the sudden,out of the blue,you say,"I like you".



It just fell into her lap without any effort on her part. And since she got it so easily,so effortlessly,since it didn't cost her anything,then it must not be worth anything.



So she just let it go.





You said you know that saying that goes against forum rules.


Well when did you find that out,after everything fell apart,or did you know it before?



Boy,I don't know why people think they can beat the system.


I guess you thought you'd be the one guy here who could break the rules without consequence. :crackup:



Oh well. At least you'll know better next time.

 

[Captin Krunch]

Sooo...for the guys that replied...

What if me and this female was on the phone...annd SHE came out the blue and told me she wanted to talk to me about something....and came out with the "I like you a lot" line...how would you go about in that situation? I didn't think it was cool to be a jerk and say "ooooo....ok sooo what did you do last night"....what would u say if u and ur girl was on the phone and she came out with it?

 

[horaholic]

C+F;
"yeah, You're not so bad yourself."

"If you were drowning in a pool, I'd jump in and save you...as long as Im not wearing my good shoes, that is."

"If you were drunk and puking... I'd hold hold your hair back for ya."

"If we woke up hungover and married... I'd wait at least a month before I divorced you."


Serious; "I enjoy your company." My ex used to say that to me, when we were just dating. Thats a good one, cuz it kept me guessing, at the time.

Downplay it, and keep her guessing.

 

[Weezy]

I don't think I can do something to get this girls interest levels back though can I?...After I've said this **** to her and she's gone cold on me since

Just ignore her? See her everyday in the gym

Damn, I've done this one too. Jumping the gun. Just learn that you never ever tell a chick how you feel, EVER, until she's begging for it and proclaiming her love for you.

Basically what I've learned is that you can never be the first to do anything. From a kiss to getting married, if you keep a strong frame, they'll let ya know.

When it's cold all you can do is back off, but it's really hard to get it back cause then you start to get worried and calculated, which makes it even tougher. It's almost better to next them for a while then they might come back.

 

[acehole]

Yea you never say sh1t like that espically in the beginning. Eventually they will tell you that sh1t first then you say it back.
Or you can keep busting on them then say something like yea youre a cool girl and I like hanging out with you most of the time. Something like that. This is good because they will question when you say most of the time.

If you see her in the gym everyday ignore her when you see her. Thats the easiest secnerio you have in your hands. You go to the gym anyways so its not like youre going out of your way to see her. Seriously ignore her or stop gong to the gym for a tiny bit atleast at different times. Shell come up to you and her IL will be back up.

 

[Nutz]

Yep, it's called throwing away the challenge, acting needy/desperate, seeming like a wuss and giving her all the power ALL IN 1 SENTENCE! No wonder her attraction for you vanished...

Learn and move on.

Indeed. Everything you need to know about this topic has been summed up in this single post. Consider it lesson learned and move on.

/thread