tall dark handsome - to be her friend rather than lover

[rgeereda2nd]

I have a smooth true don juan friend who i hang out with when we go out. I do pretty good, be he is far beyond better. He is tall dark handsome, bout 6'5" 230 lbs of lean body mass. He comes off as very ****y, but at the same time funny. He has his **** together, with a great personality to boost. He was telling me, that he pursues women to be her friend rather than lover. He says that women always put a guy in the friendship zone, and to do it back to them. I notice when he meets these women, he doesnt really take them out on dates nor spend money on them. He'll go out as friends with them, to watch a movie, some coffee or go shopping etc..
He pays for his side and not hers. He doesnt call them, they call him basically in his words pursuing him saying women always want what they cant have. Eventually he's banging these women at his pad, sometimes with me there in the other room. They always call, but he tells me that they are just his friends and its his technique to bang women. He'll invite a couple and we go out as friends, and i watch as they flirt and touch with him, but he shows no feelings towards them. He says being tall dark handsome with his **** together, great personality is something almost all women want, and when they notice it, they want him, and he plays it that they cant have him, making them more intrigued, wondering why he's not pursuing them, when he actually is, and wanting him more, since women want what they cant have.
He says it makes the woman pursue the relationship in a way, rather than the man?
now im about 5'10" with a decent build since i work out. Not as good looking as him, and i have a roommate, but im funny and ****y. Im thinking about trying his technique. He's been doing it for years and is far dam successfull. I guess being tall dark handsome, you can get away with this and other things

what are your thoughts

 

[belividere]

Your friend is a natural. The first thing that jumped out from your post was this

He comes off as very ****y, but at the same time funny. He has his **** together, with a great personality to boost.

He has completed his inner game. To his advantage his outergame is probably on par.

He says that women always put a guy in the friendship zone, and to do it back to them.

Since I am assuming that he is a natural I am going to say that this is a great move on his part. He is building a bit of mystery and allure. Girls are attracted to what they cannot have as he claims. When he puts a girl in the friendzone before she can do the same to him it confuses her. It makes her want out of the friendzone and into his pants. A very wise move if performed correctly.

If I were you I would hang with this guy and continue to watch what it is he does. You will never be him but you can definetly learn some things from him. Really you can probably learn more from him than anyone on this board. And it seems like it is not his physical characteristics alone that make him unstoppable but it is a combo of those and his true attitude and outlook. I guess the take home message that I picked up on is that this guy has found his niche. He did so through trial and error which is the only real way.

 

[rgeere]

Actually, I might slighly disagree with the previous poster.

When he puts a girl in the friendzone before she can do the same to him it confuses her. It makes her want out of the friendzone and into his pants. A very wise move if performed correctly.

I don't think that there are any psychological mind games going on here, and the girl is not confused; what you have here is a man who is extreemly successful at keeping women very close to him. By insisting on being friends with girls, this is actually appealing to them in other aspects than just sexual and that is what it is drawing them in. The men who eventually fail with women are the ones who do not recognize that there is more to a woman than just her vagina. Players and Pick-up artist loose out in this aspect, but not your suave friend apparently.

 

[belividere]

rgeere, I think what I was trying to convey is very similar to what you said. I may be jaded or disturbed but I do think that most inter-personal experiences (relationships) can be somewhat determined psychologically.

It just seems to me that this guy has figured out how to turn girls into what many would consider AFC's on this site. They chase him, he does nothing. He puts girls into the friendzone and they expect more. Taking a good look at most of what the problems that guys encouter on this board, it seems that this guy has turned it around and worked it to his advantage. He did so by playing the girls games better than they could. In order to be successful he had to figure out those games. Either way he is doing what is natural and it works. I wish I knew someone like him in my own life.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by belividere
rgeere, I think what I was trying to convey is very similar to what you said. I may be jaded or disturbed but I do think that most inter-personal experiences (relationships) can be somewhat determined psychologically.

It just seems to me that this guy has figured out how to turn girls into what many would consider AFC's on this site. They chase him, he does nothing. He puts girls into the friendzone and they expect more. Taking a good look at most of what the problems that guys encouter on this board, it seems that this guy has turned it around and worked it to his advantage. He did so by playing the girls games better than they could. In order to be successful he had to figure out those games. Either way he is doing what is natural and it works. I wish I knew someone like him in my own life.

I still disagree, let me explain why ...

I don't think that this guy is really anything special, what he understands is that when you befriend a girl that does not automatically mean that there will be no sex. He is actually creating intimacy and closeness with these girls, and that forms a bond of trust with these girls. This is not a form of gameplay, and he is not turning the girls into AFCs. He is simply creating honest trust with them.

Many men are paranoid of being befriended, because saying 'let's just be friends' has been misused as a positive statement to cause distance between two people. What this man is doing is that he is not misusing the statement 'let's be friends,' and is using it in it's appropiate context which causes closeness and intimacy, and not distance. In turn, women feel that he is a man that is worthy of being with them and having sex every once in a while. It's not a difficult thing to understand.

 

[Life-Trainee]

Now my question is whether that can work for anyone. I know people who have tons of female friends but they can't get action worth a damn, and have to go into desperate efforts to get anything. Right now I have a couple of female friends but I don't see it getting anywhere further than just being friends. I flirt with them and not afraid to express my sexuality. There's something missing.

 

[DrSoSuave]

why would a guy want to hang around with a bunch of girls. Gay?

 

[Virtú]

Originally posted by rgeereda2nd
He is tall dark handsome, bout 6'5" 230 lbs of lean body mass. He comes off as very ****y, but at the same time funny. He has his **** together, with a great personality to boost.

Your friend is the man every woman fantasizes about (I must congratulate you for not succumbing to jealousy and murderous hate like I would).

His body alone gets them into a sexual state, and his personality and manner would have them sexually assaulting him if they weren't in a public space.

The fact that he seems to also want to be a friend, a sensitive guy who actually wants to spend time with them, is something no woman could even imagine, so it blows them out of the water.

He creates the emotional bond that women simply don't expect from superior specimens, and when these women realize that they're looking at having their cake and eating it too, there's nothing they won't do for him in order to keep him.

DO NOT DO AS HE DOES
Women assume average guys have the emotional bond part well in hand, so they're looking for proof of your worth as a sexual partner, that you're not as inferior as you look.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Aloof detachment, without being cold. Talk to them like they're a guy, almost.

I noticed this when I was in an LTR. I behaved as a guy in a relationship would - I talked to girls I knew, just like they were anyone else - no flirting, nothing. No indication of interest except in asking them about their life, goals, etc.

Amazingly, once my LTR ended, and word got out, I had at least 3 of them actively pursue me, with no effort on my part, two of those actually had boyfriends, yet I got down their pants.

I guess they figured I wasn't the type of guy to cheat on my girlfriend and that represented some type of value to them, but let me tell you, when they came at me, two of them were especially aggressive about it - the two that had boyfriends.

 

[rgeereda2nd]

I am jelous of him. He just does it with no effort while im over here trying when we go out. I been hanging with him for about 5 years now, and its the same dam thing with him. When me and him go out, its not that woman approach him. I assume they are intimidating because of his height and built and probably labeled easily as a player in the way he dresses. He still has to approach the ladies, but doesnt care how they react. He comes off as a friend to them. He doesnt go home with them. He get the number and calls them in a few days to hangout , get some coffee or something. He DOES NOT ask them out on dates..
He tells me he doesnt bang all of them. Just a couple of them. He has so much DAM PATIENCE with this

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by rgeereda2nd
I am jelous of him. He just does it with no effort while im over here trying when we go out. I been hanging with him for about 5 years now, and its the same dam thing with him. When me and him go out, its not that woman approach him. I assume they are intimidating because of his height and built and probably labeled easily as a player in the way he dresses. He still has to approach the ladies, but doesnt care how they react. He comes off as a friend to them. He doesnt go home with them. He get the number and calls them in a few days to hangout , get some coffee or something. He DOES NOT ask them out on dates..
He tells me he doesnt bang all of them. Just a couple of them. He has so much DAM PATIENCE with this

That's sort of what I thought, even though you wrote some biase origionally that made him sound more like a player; I saw through and knew that he was probably like that with his approaches.

I have said it once, and I will say it again. He bangs women because he is able to get intimate with them in that they have HONEST TRUST in him. This is very appealing to what women actually want in a man [sense of security, intimacy, closeness].

 

[Kaine]

This is something I have noticed no one has mentioned yet.

Just because a girl perceives that you have put them in your 'friends box' doesn't mean that she has put you in hers.

If you are charming, physically attractive, confident, mysterious and challenging. Do you think a girl will not be attracted to you?

In fact that's part of the challenge if are available and YOU put her in your friend's box.

Although she might not say it, but her initial impression of you will be "HELL YES" he's in my f#ckable box.

Learn from him

Kaine

 

[belividere]

any relation between rgeereda first and rgeerda2nd?

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Kaine
This is something I have noticed no one has mentioned yet.

Just because a girl perceives that you have put them in your 'friends box' doesn't mean that she has put you in hers.

If you are charming, physically attractive, confident, mysterious and challenging. Do you think a girl will not be attracted to you?

In fact that's part of the challenge if are available and YOU put her in your friend's box.

Although she might not say it, but her initial impression of you will be "HELL YES" he's in my f#ckable box.

Learn from him

Kaine

That is exactly what I have been saying all along, with the exception that the 'friend's box' in ******** can actually come to the terms of sex when it isn't abused to cause distance.

In the female world there is a formula:

intimacy + trust = sex

It's that simple.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by belividere
any relation between rgeereda first and rgeerda2nd?

No, I don't have a clue who he is since he popped up a few months ago. I think that he read some of my advice or comments and chose this name as a form of flattery; or, I could be wrong and it is just a coincidence.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I see no special powers in your friend - hors want to be had and he is having them!! This is a natural attraction amongst the two and hors have no rationale for being a hor aside from wanting a penis from a guy that tickles their fancy!! What this attraction is based on doesn't matter - it is what it is!!!

 

[belividere]

I see no special powers in your friend - hors want to be had and he is having them!! This is a natural attraction amongst the two and hors have no rationale for being a hor aside from wanting a penis from a guy that tickles their fancy!! What this attraction is based on doesn't matter - it is what it is!!!

yeah sounds great but the reality of the situation is that most, if not everyone, is here because they cannot do what this guy is doing naturally. This site is meant to guide people who need help not just assume that every girl is a hor and wants to be dic-slapped by any guy that will give it to her. Truth is the guy in question is attractive to girls on a certain level, why not try and decipher the reason. The reason does matter and is the whole basis of this site. It isn't just what it is and then drop it. It is what it is and then understand it.

 

[tmpgstx]

I bet these girls are flakey - that this guy is getting - by definition. These types will sleep and often do sleep with anyone. I bet these same girls are having sex with other guys also.

I would personally want someone more exclusive.

 

[rgeere]

PL is sharp in some ways, but he basically assumes that women naturally lack any form of self-worth that would redeem them from the wh0re status [some] girls give themselves. There are some respectful women are there that will respect you, but they are not a dime a dozen and especially if they are really quality looking girls. Not all girls give themselves out so easily.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
I bet these girls are flakey - that this guy is getting - by definition. These types will sleep and often do sleep with anyone. I bet these same girls are having sex with other guys also.

I would personally want someone more exclusive.

That could be true, but not always. Maybe they are exclusive with the guy; the thread starter didn't say.