Talking to a girl I've never met

[TheWhiteRondo]

Hey guys, first post here. I'm sure this has been discussed to death but my forum search wasn't working and I figured some personal advice would always be good.

Anyway, I'm a 17 year old Junior in high school and I'll just say that I haven't had much luck with the ladies. But up until recently, that's because I really hadn't wanted to be with a girl so I never bothered. Girls on the hotter side of the scale have told me I'm good looking and shouldn't have a problem getting a girlfriend, so there's that.

Problem is that even though I'm one of the more popular guys in my grade, I'm really shy when it comes to girls and now realize I have a major problem talking to a girl I'm interested in. I can talk to girls I have crushes on no problem, especially if they have a boyfriend , but there's just something that gets in the way of me going after a girl I am truly interested in. I really don't have much game. Now, my high school really doesn't have many options. Most girls are, truly, weird or ugly. There's probably 10 good ones in my grade and they're all taken. However, there was a cute sophomore girl I was interested in starting back around Christmastime. Needless to say it ended in disaster. Spent like 4 months working on her, barely ever could get the words out around her, and then she got snatched up by some tool in my grade.

I'll be honest, too -- I'd fall in the nice guy category. I'm kind of a romantic too. But, yknow, I've come to the point in my life where I want to step my game up from the ground floor. I'm not interested in the sexual side of picking up girls but I'd love to have a girlfriend.

There is one girl I have noticed that my friend has told me a lot about (he used to have a thing for her but there was no way on earth it was ever going to work for him, so he's kind of given me the rights to her if I can do it). She's awfully cute and I'd probably give her a 7 and I feel like she's in my league (but who the eff cares about leagues?). She's a sophomore, we're Facebook acquaintances and I played a Words with Friends game or two with her when I was on a binge with that, but that's it. No classes with her, never talked to her, but I feel like she's definitely aware of who I am. If I remember correctly she's smiled at me before in the hallway. But again, I mean, that's it.

For a shy guy who is interested in the girl scene now, how can I go about getting to know this girl, or truly any girl, I've never talked to before? Like I said there really aren't any girls to practice on or anything. This girl is pretty much the last hope of girls in my school for me, and I'm not exaggerating.

Any advice is appreciated, I'd like to step up my game or just get some tips from you guys for the future.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

lol gday.

You can either get girls or nothing man. You can't choose "Oh, I'll get this girl but like, I won't need the skills to get other girls or any experience or anything." You get good because you practice and you can't tailor your practice to be around one girl. You get the confidence to go for any one girl because you've already forced yourself to do it with other girls.

So go after some other girls, preferably randoms you'll only meet once. Parties are good for that. After a few you'll build the attitude it takes to go for it and go for this one. You'll know what to do by then.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Ah lol we in the same boat, I'm too much of a romantic sometimes unless that chick pisses me off then I'm ultra ultra direct.

Well you say you a shy guy right? Use that to your advantage? Ladies say you look good right? Take the damn advantage!

Go up to that girl, in the morning or whenever and tell her you want to meet up during break time, relax and think about what is it that you really want from her, at break, communicate that to her in the most upfront, direct and self-assured manner as possible. Go get her man, remember, stay smoove!

 

[LearningSlowly]

I don't know about this one man. The first step is to start talking to her though.

If you don't start talking to her, you can't ever get anything. Don't admire girls from afar, get sexual with the ones right in front of you. I think Jack is right, you should put yourself out there and explore options outside of school, so when a girl is right in front of you, you can get some.

Maybe you should poke her on facebook... could break the ice, who knows

 

[TheWhiteRondo]

Good advice, guys. Thanks. I'm torn between LearningSlowly's approach and Nino's super direct one. I feel like LearningSlowly's would be the easier way but Nino's might be the creepier one that might not be so smoove after all.

But hey, she could be a good opportunity to work on what Jack brought up if I do go with Nino's approach. Thanks guys.

 

[Nick1886]

If she's really your LAST CHANCE don't try and come on to her immediately, get to know her as a friend for a month or two while you practice your game on randomers e.g. in extra curricular clubs because that will help when it comes down to it in terms of having confidence and seeing if you'll actually work out as a couple.

 

[TheWhiteRondo]

If she's really your LAST CHANCE don't try and come on to her immediately, get to know her as a friend for a month or two while you practice your game on randomers e.g. in extra curricular clubs because that will help when it comes down to it in terms of having confidence and seeing if you'll actually work out as a couple.

True. I have gotten a lot better with random girls, it's the just the few that I like that give me a hard time. Good advice though, thanks.

She's not exactly my last chance anymore. The easier (I guess you could say) and preferred option is the girl I've pursued for a while now -- she broke up with her boyfriend over the weekend so I'm going to get back in touch with her in the next few days and try to get something going again (haven't talked to her in about a month). We had a little something but her attention ended up going toward this dbag she dated for like two months. I won't be the rebound guy but I'll make myself known to her again. Hopefully things will be good with her by the first week or two of summer.

 

[alxrose04]

Have you ever tried mixing in with her social circle? It sounds like you go to a small school so there is a good chance that you two may hav a mutual friend. If that is the case, why not try to set up some up after school where she's invited and then you can talk to her then.

If not, then I like the gday approach. In school, everyone knows everyone. They are just too in their own heads to notice or acknowledge the world. I feel she already knows who you are, especially if you're good looking and the pretty girls know you. Plus you're an upper classman. You're the man already! So just think about it like this, from what it seems, you're making her day. Giving her something to brag about to her other sophmore friends.

Best of luck champ!

 

[TheWhiteRondo]

Have you ever tried mixing in with her social circle? It sounds like you go to a small school so there is a good chance that you two may hav a mutual friend. If that is the case, why not try to set up some up after school where she's invited and then you can talk to her then.

If not, then I like the gday approach. In school, everyone knows everyone. They are just too in their own heads to notice or acknowledge the world. I feel she already knows who you are, especially if you're good looking and the pretty girls know you. Plus you're an upper classman. You're the man already! So just think about it like this, from what it seems, you're making her day. Giving her something to brag about to her other sophmore friends.

Best of luck champ!

Yeah, we do go to a small school. Sadly the social circle thing won't work, because the only mutual friend we have is my friend who pursued her for a while and it didn't work out, so he doesn't talk to her much anymore. But even then, they wouldn't have ever hung out in a setting like you kind of described.

I do like the "gday" approach too. You're absolutely right. I'll have to try this really soon!