Talking bad about Her Ex B/f .. Should I or not?

[toot86]

Is talking bad about a Ex boyfriend a bad thing to do.. Or is it the same as a Boyfriend destroyer pattern..



EXAMPLE..

Lets say iam talking to this chick I know .. and we end up talking about his ex boyfriend and how I saw him beinging soo .. Uptight and introspective... and boring.. Then i tell her how could you have dated that guy...



would that be a good thing or a bad thing and WHY?

 

[ManOMan]

I think the power of suggestion is a powerful tool (i.e. putting ideas in someone's mind that another guy is a loser or a dweeb)

even though the girl might not believe it, she will consider it (when she didnt consider it before)

but you have to be very careful and crafty not to come off as insecure

a safe way to do this is to talk about how someone else NEUTRAL is a geek/doofus (i.e. someone you see on the street or meet) then start talking about the characteristics of her ex

for example, if her ex was a AFC chump and sent her flowers and you see a guy with roses on the street you could say "Awww look how sweet, that guy has nothing to offer a girl , so he trys to buy her with flowers"

 

[Mr. Latte]

Why not just not care?
The quote that got me started on my trip away from AFC Land was this (after a breakup and some serious oneitis, and wanting to get back together)

"exes are exes for a reason"

 

[toot86]

Originally posted by ManOMan
I think the power of suggestion is a powerful tool (i.e. putting ideas in someone's mind that another guy is a loser or a dweeb)

even though the girl might not believe it, she will consider it (when she didnt consider it before)

but you have to be very careful and crafty not to come off as insecure

a safe way to do this is to talk about how someone else NEUTRAL is a geek/doofus (i.e. someone you see on the street or meet) then start talking about the characteristics of her ex

for example, if her ex was a AFC chump and sent her flowers and you see a guy with roses on the street you could say "Awww look how sweet, that guy has nothing to offer a girl , so he trys to buy her with flowers"

so i should suggest things.. but not blantly outright say them.. like the EXAMPLE above?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by toot86
Is talking bad about a Ex boyfriend a bad thing to do.. Or is it the same as a Boyfriend destroyer pattern..



EXAMPLE..

Lets say iam talking to this chick I know .. and we end up talking about his ex boyfriend and how I saw him beinging soo .. Uptight and introspective... and boring.. Then i tell her how could you have dated that guy...



would that be a good thing or a bad thing and WHY?

I wouldn't use that particular pattern, it's degrading to the woman. By asking her how she could have dated someone, you are in essence putting her down by implying that she only dates losers and is too stupid to stop doing so.

If you have to use put downs to make yourself look good, focus on the guys actions and not him personally. If he's boring, say something to the effect that YOU would not be able to be bored for long periods of time, that you would have to find something/someone more stimulating to do.

In this way, you do not put him nor her down directly and yet show yourself in a more positive light.

 

[DJZ]

wouldn't use that particular pattern, it's degrading to the woman. By asking her how she could have dated someone, you are in essence putting her down by implying that she only dates losers

I agree. My ex broke up with me to date this guy who really was a loser. I'm not joking, lost his license, no car, drugs, etc. Well eventually she got tired of him and came crawling back. Being the AFC that I was, I wanted her back. So I took her back, but I remember one time making a comment about how much of a loser he was. I also mentioned that every girl that I knew, that saw them out together, told me that he was ugly. (it was true, according to every girl I talked to that saw him, said he was ugly). So anyway, when I told her this, she got offended or maybe ashamed that people thought she was dating an ugly loser. She sorta got a little mad at me for saying it, but I didn't care, I hated the guy.

 

[Kodiac]

I personally wouldn't do it. But suggestive little hints like ManOMan suggested would be alright....

I remember i commented on how my gf's ex was umm... "fat" and she was like "he's not fat" i just grinned and she got all defensive and crap - it was a good laugh on my part - but in no way beneficial to my cause.

I befriended him (her ex) later on. He even backed me up when some AFC loser went psycho on me as he was jealous of me & my gf. I dumped the b*tch that night, still friends with her ex though.

Looks like she did have better taste in guys than i initially thought, he's kewl - but still a fatty

 

[crackhead]

bottom line it's a negative comment about another person

i have learned the hardway that this can turn a girl off

 

[MickeyOneil]

Her Ex BF has nothing to do with you.....the fact that you want to bring him up makes you less of a man in her mind. Don't bring him up.....you have no need to.

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

If you INSIST on doing something beta like bashing her ex, the best way to do it would be a THIRD-PERSON NEGHIT.

Example:

"He sounds so sweet and sensitive, I'm surprised more girls aren't friends with him."

This is a perfect neg; it says something ostensibly nice but there is a negative subtext, i.e., guys like that get 'befriended' by HB's.

This was just off the top of my head and obviously you will have to create new ones depending on what kind of situation arises. You would do well to follow my template . . .

. . . you would do even better to stop being such an insecure beta 'male' pvssy.

 

[toot86]

good stuff

First off let me say I didint say this .. but my competition did when i was at schoo... I just wanted to seem nuetral to all you to get the truth..

and another thing i liked is the advice the guy said..

NO NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT ANYONE..

tHAT IS bible material...

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

I have serious reservations about dating guys who talk bad about THEIR exes... because what are they going to do when I'm their ex? That's why I'm hesitant to ever talk bad about my exes to new guys... it's about respect. Just because you're not w/ that person anymore, doesn't mean they are horrible. So I don't think I'd want to date someoen who was talking bad about my ex either. Something simple maybe like "he totally didn't deserve you" which is more about how great the girl is, not how bad the guy is... that's ok. But not too much, it's just a bad idea I think.

 

[katoom]

Girls are still gonna have some emotional attachment to their ex's. I wouldnt out right bash the guy. Hell, this might not help my cause but alot of the time I even stick up for the ex if she starts bashing him too bad.

 

[CLOONEY]

Dont even mention the X, if she mentions him tell her to shut the fukc up!!

and yes, she will probably still have some emotional attatchment to her X, so it will prob get you nowhere. Once one of my X's started dating a guy a few months after we broke up, he started telling her I was an as*hole, this and that. He never got another date.