"Talking" about your problems. [OP is a phaggot]

[Zion]

Disclaimers .

-OP will be a beta phaggot.
-OP will attempt to vent and blow some steam.
-OP will probably face palm when reading his post in the morning when he feels all better.
-OP is giving this a shot to see if it helps him.

End of disclaimers.

So this is a subject I really have mixed opinions about.


Do you guys "open up" about your problems to other people ? If so , who are they and how do you do it ?

Girlfriend ?

I , when I had a LTR , could never bring myself to tell her about my sh!t. Mainly because I've always faced my problems head on expecting no one to get me through them but myself. I see each and every of these problems as challenges which I have to overcome on my own. To me , asking for help = weakness. And I don't give a phuck if the person I'm asking for help is the one seeing me as weak , the issue is that if I do it , I see myself as weak. I feel as if I would let myself down for not being capable to hold my own ground.


She always insisted that she'd be there for me if I ever needed it. It was conforting to know. I never took her up on that , but I miss it now. Simply knowing she was there was enough.

Besides that , I always saw sharing your problems with the gf as a death trap. I'm a man. I'm supposed to be a leader. But if the leaders seems to crumble , why would you still follow him ?


Best friend ?

Man I remember getting together with my bro and talking about all sorts of sh!t. He was the only person I ever felt could teach me something. Always looked up to him. But we had different college choices so now we live 2 000 km apart. We're still bros and still talk , but we rarely have time for it , so when we do , we have fun and catch up. Don't really wanna waste that time with problems.




Being a college student , finances are so damn tight , it's really hard to go out. Consequently , making any real friends or establishing a strong social circle is not walk in the park either. I mean these guys spend more in 1 night out than I spend in 1 week.

I don't know man ,2013 so far has been the most sh!tties year I've ever had. Having my gf brake-up with me and my bro leaving for the UK , I basically lost the 2 people I really cared for most. I feel alone.

Feeling alone is the actual problem,I think. I never really had it easy nor did I ever catch a brake. But I was never alone either. Never felt like I was,anyway. Felt unstoppable no matter what. Now I catch fear lurking around. It's new to me.


I know I'm gonna make it. That I do not doubt.There's no way I'm gonna fail myself.And since I discovered SS I see my life improving each passing day. But as we know it's a gradual progression. It takes time. I often find myself fantasizing about future me one year from now, when I'll be collecting the seeds of my own sweat and blood.



Usually my "cure" is going to the gym and lifting.I love it so much because it gets me in that state I miss so much. For a while , after a good lifting session , I'm invincible again. I'm my former self. I'm the titan walking amongst the mere mortals.

Same feeling I get after a successful interaction with a girl. But then my brain decides it's a good idea to remember my ex and how warm and fuzzy my life was when she was around , so it's not always as rewarding.


So yeah,crawling outta hell is a walk in the park for me. Doing it alone however , now that's the first thing that ever got to me.



********************************
Life: Hey,Z ! Yo , wassup man.How's it going ?
Z: Oh sh!t. Phuck off ,life. You've been giving me nothing but sh!t this year.
Life: Nah man this is different.
Z: Let me guess. A meteorite will be landing on my house 1 minute from now.
Life: Nope.
Z: Zombie apocalypse starting and my weapon will be a lamp ?
Life: Nope.
Z: Velociraptor in my bathroom ? I swear if..-
Life: Crossed my mind,but no.
Z: Fine,amaze me.
Life: Check yo' phone brah.
Z: Ofcourse...ex is calling. Imagine that.
Life: Tissue ?
Z: Phuck you.

*********************************


So me ex calls today and invites me to her birthday party this weekend. Don't worry,I'm not an idiot. I obviously won't go , but I just fail to understand how she thought that would be a wise idea. What good could possibly come of it ? I mean her reasoning was :" You've been an exceptional part of my life during our 3 years together.Not to mention the most influential. Ofcourse I want you there."
Yeah. Tell me sh!t like that 3-4 months after we broke up. Ofcourse I wanna hear it. Also here's a flamethrower so you can burn me alive. Then use this salt all over me.Don't forget to use the meathook to peel my flesh off when you're done.




So yeah. That's my vent.

Feel free to bash OP for acting like a pussified little beta.

 

[dvjackson]

I can't stand talking to other people about my problems. Even if I know they're interested and want to help I always just feel like I'm whining. it really does feel like weakness.

but most of the time other people can't really help us any more than we can help ourselves, when we ask for advice we almost always already know the answer and it's just a matter of accepting it and doing that thing.

 

[Packers2010]

just chill man. everyone feel like this every once in awhile. and it's ok to do so.

you just want someone to care about you. you just loft your gf and your friends. that's going to be tough on anyone.

so you shouldn't feel bad about it.

if you want chat pm me.

 

[whatwg]

She's your girlfriend, not your friend, don't use her as your emotional tampon. or you'll become hers.

 

[TheStig]

Dude that's me for sure. I NEVER talk to anyone about any issues or problems I might be having. Sometimes I'll get so stressed out and sh1t I'll just feel like I wanna sit there and tell someone just to get it off my chest. Buuuut, I think about how I'd feel afterwards if I actually did (like a phaggot), and it's a good kick in the ass telling me to nut up and forget about it/face it like a man. I feel like I'd just be sitting there whining like a b1tch. Problem then clears up, or I proceed to to the gym to get the testosterone pumpin and feel like a badass. lol

 

[1-800-HellNo]

every single time i end up telling someone what's bothering me, i end up regretting it.
sometimes it happens, but i try to avoid it.

write stuff down, or go vent about it on some anonymous internet board.

 

[zinc4]

it's not a weakness to discuss something that is really troubling you with your GF if you are really close to her...however, it is a weakness to be scared of talking about something that is really troubling you for fear of appearing what you are talking about...and women can pick up on this type of insecurity...

Not saying it is ok to constantly be talking about your problems....but when something big comes up i would argue that it will strengthen your bond with her to share it with her and she will respect you for it and feel more intimate with you...

a real man isn't scared of looking weak but he also doesn't constantly unload his sh&t onto others to deal with...like everything else there is a fine line...it's not black and white like what so many say...and if you are scared of looking a certain way to your woman than i have to question your true strength in the first place...

And if she does judge you or act differently dump her immediately...that ain't a woman worth being in a ltr with.

 

[Zion]

it's not a weakness to discuss something that is really troubling you with your GF if you are really close to her...however, it is a weakness to be scared of talking about something that is really troubling you for fear of appearing what you are talking about...and women can pick up on this type of insecurity...
.

I'm not 'scared' of talking about something for fear of appearing a certain way. "What people think" is the least of my daily concerns.


I'm aware it's a fine line to walk but unloading any amount of your own sh!t on your girlfriend to me is simply a bad idea no matter how you look at it. Even if she's the most perfect gf ever , and she's there to support you and all that , she eventually , even if on an unconscious level , starts losing both attraction and respect towards you. If just happens ,even if over a longer period of time.

That's why I always reply with "Nothing I can't handle". I don't pretend like there's nothing ever wrong , I just state that whatever it is ,I can handle it.

I'm quite surprised that so many of you know these feels.

 

[balance33]

Definitely don't talk to someone you are trying to attract about your problems. But, this doesn't mean that you have to keep everything all pent up inside. You should have a male that you can trust that you can talk to. Maybe a brother or a close friend that you can bounce stuff off of.

 

[Mike32ct]

Definitely don't talk to someone you are trying to attract about your problems. But, this doesn't mean that you have to keep everything all pent up inside. You should have a male that you can trust that you can talk to. Maybe a brother or a close friend that you can bounce stuff off of.

This

 

[Shockwavedave]

Definitely don't talk to someone you are trying to attract about your problems. But, this doesn't mean that you have to keep everything all pent up inside. You should have a male that you can trust that you can talk to. Maybe a brother or a close friend that you can bounce stuff off of.

Definitely this

 

[zinc4]

I completely agree with the basic premise of what you are saying...but i am talking about a real LTR here not someone you are trying to attract...not a new chick....the way i look at it is if you can't tell your significant other the truth about something that is bothering you when she asks then you shouldn't be with her in the first place. In this case, she is either low quality or you are too insecure about turning her off....

It is mentally not healthy to hold everything inside and deal with everything yourself....that's why there are so many ticking time bombs of people....it becomes a pressure cooker....if i can't even trust a woman enough to tell her the truth about something when she asks...then why in the world would I want that person as anything remotely serious in my life in the first place...plate material at best....that's why i only engage real high quality women for LTRs and not shallow fickle sluts (99 percent of women)...i have never had a problem keeping them attracted to me after opening up to them at times when i was really down...i am always the one losing attraction so it hasn't phased me any...and if you are obviously bothered by something but you are never able to open up about it is another form of a weakness altogether in itself....

 

[namismybabe]

Yeah.... and mental health is evil. evil i tells ya!!!:rock:

lulz at the people here who hate mental wellness in this thread.