Talking about guys

[Heartagram]

Is it normal for a girl to talk about having sex with another guy... like, not too long after you meet?

It was really awkward.

EDIT: OK, details. We were talking and I really thought I got to her. She even mentioned that she likes to star gaze from her balcony and I was like, I'm so jealous... and she said, I'll show you someday. That seemed to hint to something to me... so it just appears to be mixed signals.

 

[King Turi]

Is this online or not?

She could have been testing you to see if you got jealous.

Or maybe she was in need of another girlfriend.

You didn't sit there and listen to her go on about banging some other dude did you?

'Cuz that's a nice way to the FZ.

 

[Heartagram]

I most definitely didn't.

All I said is, "Oh, heh."

Then she mentioned something about her not sleeping with guys much, so I half-jokingly asked if she sleeps with girls. She replied sarcastically. Then I said, "I'm confused. Lol, never mind." Then I went back and said, all I was asking about is your sexuality, but I guess that's none of my business. Then she said, oh, I guess I'm bi... then she said, but that was a man, not a woman (as if she was trying to drill it into my head). Then I said, very seriously, "yes, you mentioned." Then there was a bit of awkward silence, and I half-jokingly said "**awkward silence**."

 

[Igetit!]

I most definitely didn't.

All I said is, "Oh, heh."

Then she mentioned something about her not sleeping with guys much, so I half-jokingly asked if she sleeps with girls. She replied sarcastically. Then I said, "I'm confused. Lol, never mind." Then I went back and said, all I was asking about is your sexuality, but I guess that's none of my business. Then she said, oh, I guess I'm bi... then she said, but that was a man, not a woman (as if she was trying to drill it into my head). Then I said, very seriously, "yes, you mentioned." Then there was a bit of awkward silence, and I half-jokingly said "**awkward silence**."

There could be a few different reasons why she started talking about fooling around with other guys,but the thing I'd like to know is...

How did this topic of conversation even come up in the first place?

What were you two saying to each other that led down this road?

Something about the way you two were speaking to each other caused the convo to veer off into this direction.

You don't go from,"Hi,how are you?" to "I had sex with this guy the other night".

If this girl is different from the one you made the first thread about,then there's one thing I've noticed that both situations have in common--

You have a weak frame. That part is ABUNDANTLY CLEAR.

If you like a girl,then YOU NEED TO STIR THE CONVERSATION onto the two of you dating or possibly dating. If you don't,you get what you got here:CONFUSION.

I know because I've been in this situation thousands of times. I once was interested in a lady who was a manager at a restaurant. I was up there at her workplace and we were talking. I started out ok,but then somehow,I lost control of the convo,and we ended up talking about how much revenue her store generates in comparasion to the other stores (it's a franchise) in the surrounding area.


While it may have been a good talk if I was looking for a business to invest my money in,as far as dating and making her feel attracted to me...well,it didn't quite work out.

It's IMPORTANT that you direct the convo. If you allow the girl to do it,she may have you waaaaay off in left field somewhere. Then once you realize how far off track you are and try to correct the situation,it's too late.

Women date guys based on the attraction they feel towards them.

Well,if you're there with her talking about who knows what for an hour,that whole time the conversation is going on,SHE'S NOT FEELING ANYTHING.

Then once your conversation about "cherry pop-tarts" (or whatever) has ended and you try to ask her out,she'll pull out the "friends" thing,then you'll be stand there scratching your head wondering what happened.

Take control of your conversations with women. I'm not saying to dominate it and not let her get a word in edgewise,only to stir it in the direction you want it to go.

 

[Heartagram]

How did this topic of conversation even come up in the first place?

What were you two saying to each other that led down this road?

She was being slow and said, sorry, I'm slow, it's 'cause my friend's here, but she's leaving soon. Then, about ten minutes later, she came back and was like, she's gone... but the conversation had stopped, so I just said, so, how was your day... and she was like, well, I told you about all the exciting bits... then she went, oh, oh, I slept with a guy last night.

So, yeh, I guess it was just, "How are you?" "I had sex with a guy last night"...

And I don't get how I'm supposed direct the convo. What did I do wrong? As soon as she mentioned the boy, I directed the convo away from him.

Am I not supposed to make conversation from what she says? For example, she said, I don't sleep with boys much, to which I replied, so you sleep with girls?

I'm confused. How am I supposed to stir the convo into us dating or possibly dating?

 

[SleepyRangerMedic82D]

sounds to me like you are in the friend zone.. and I'm guessing this was online, yeah?

 

[Heartagram]

Yes.

And how can I be in the friend zone? I just met her, less than a week ago. And I flirted with her a lot. And she seemed to respond very well.

I'm so confused.

 

[Igetit!]

And I don't get how I'm supposed direct the convo. What did I do wrong?

I can only say what I've already said until you get it. You keep asking what you did wrong. Look,it's not always something you DO that causes problems,it's also what you DON'T DO,something you failed to do,a neglect.

As soon as she mentioned the boy, I directed the convo away from him.

This isn't enough. It's not enough to just direct the conversation away from something. You have to direct it onto something else.

Am I not supposed to make conversation from what she says?

Ha,ha,you still don't get it. Are you supposed to make conversation from what she says? Sure you are,but here's a thought: How about her making conversation from what you say?

Don't sit back like your playing a game of chess waiting on her to make a move. YOU make a move. You initiate the convo. Stop waiting on what she says so you can react to it. You're not supposed to be reactive,but proactive.

I'm confused. How am I supposed to stir the convo into us dating or possibly dating?

EASY!!!


you:Are you married?
her:No.
you: Do you have a boyfriend?
her:No.
You:Good,then we can go out.

Is that clear enough for ya? You think she'll have any confusion about what it is you want from her?

The way you stir a conversation onto a specific topic is like this...

you:So how was your weekend?
her:Well,I told you the exciting parts already...oh,and I slept with a guy.
You:Really? Well good for you. Hey,that reminds me of something. Have you ever...

Then you go off in another direction. You acknowledged what she said,then you used it as a springboard to a different subject.

You'll need to learn this. Otherwise,women will have you so bogged down and entangled in any and every subject other than you two dating.

Edit: A week is more than enough time to fall into the friendzone. You can fall into the friendzone in as little as 2 to 3 days.

 

[Heartagram]

**sigh**

OK, I get it. Thanks.

But is it definite that I'm in the FZ?

 

[Igetit!]

**sigh**

OK, I get it. Thanks.

But is it definite that I'm in the FZ?

It depends. If you talk to her a lot,and the convo contains absolutely nothing about the two you possibly seeing each other,only mudane topics,then more than likely yeah.

However,there's one surefire way to know for certain...

ASK HER OUT.

If she says,"Well,I think you're a really nice guy and all,but I think we should just be friends",then there's your answer.

You got to show your interest from the getgo.

"Well what if she rejects me??"

It doesn't matter. I asked a girl out before,and she rejected me...twice.

And I still ended up taking her out...after being turned down two times.

You know how many times I've taken out a girl who put me in the friendzone?

ZERO.


Rejection isn't the end.

Friendzone? That's a done deal baby.

 

[Heartagram]

Heh. She actually asked me out.

Basically, we're both into model photography, and she said I should join her 'cause she takes pics of her model friend.

EDIT: So should I ask her out, or is that enough?

 

[Igetit!]

Heh. She actually asked me out.

Basically, we're both into model photography, and she said I should join her 'cause she takes pics of her model friend.

EDIT: So should I ask her out, or is that enough?

Now you got me confused.

Let me see if I got this straight...

She asked you out,right? Something's fishy here.

Generally,it's the guy asking the girl out,not the other way around.

If she asked you out,then why are you asking if you should ask her out?

(Boy this is confusing.)

Why didn't you just say "yes" when she asked you out? And another thing...

This "date" she asked you out on,is it a date? Does it have a romantic vibe to it,or did she just invite you to come "hang out" with her?

You need to know the answer to this question because if it's just "hanging out",then you try or say something romantic/sexual to her,you're going to make her feel uncomfortable and creep her out.

So make FOR CERTAIN you know which.

However,once again,there's a way to avoid any embarrassment or uncomfortableness between you two NOW as opposed to trying to figure it out while you two are out together...

Ask her out...on a date...a ROMANTIC date.

Just tell her you're going to so and so place,and YOU WANT her to come with you. I HOPE she doesn't ask this question,but if she does,be honest.

I hope she doean't ask you,"Is this a date"? If she does,say yes,and TELL HER to wear something nice for you.

I don't have time to explain it all,but just trust me on what I said.

 

[Heartagram]

If she asked you out,then why are you asking if you should ask her out?

Like you said, to be sure it's a romantic thing.

Why didn't you just say "yes" when she asked you out?

I did.

This "date" she asked you out on,is it a date? Does it have a romantic vibe to it,or did she just invite you to come "hang out" with her?

I don't know... doesn't seem to be anything romantic. Which is why I asked if I should ask her out.

 

[Heartagram]

OK, I don't know what the hell is going on...

So I asked her out last night and she said yes. But I had to convince her that it'd be OK, 'cause she's afraid it'd be awkward. She's somewhat shy.

Basically, it went something like this:

"Hey, do you wanna go out...?"
"You mean on an awkward meeting?"
"You mean a date? Yes "
**pause**
"Yes for now."
"'for now'?"
"I might chicken out. I'm afraid it'd be awkward."
"It won't be. I'll make it unawkward."
"You're equally as awkward" (I mentioned to her that I can be awkward as well when she mentioned it first.)
"Don't worry about it. Wear something nice, we'll go out, have fun... Worse case scenario, it'll be something to laugh at."
"OK."
""

Then we talked. I felt she wasn't very comfortable; she didn't seem very responsive. But she said something that implied that she likes me. I smiled.

Anyway... after a while, she stopped talking. I asked if she was there, she didn't reply. Then she left. A while later, she came back. I asked if she's alright. No reply. I let her be.

Today, I went online for a bit and she was online, but we didn't talk. Then I left. Hours later, I came back, she was there, I said hello. Still no reply. I haven't said anything since.

I told my friend about it and she said she probably still feels weird and that I should give her time--a couple of days.

I dunno what to do. I know I should wait, but for how long? I wanna give her space, make sure she's comfortable and all... but I don't wanna lose her.

 

[King Turi]

Eh, seems like she might be a bit put off by you or somethin', I dunno.

Ask her when you can tap dat ass.

 

[Heartagram]

Why would she be put off?

I mean, it's quite odd that she told me she likes me, then a few minutes later, during a normal conversation, she just stopped talking and never talked back.

She's either feeling really awkward or is just fvcking with me.

 

[Heartagram]

Goddammit... she's just feeling down. She told me not to take it personally. I just told her that I was hurt, but then told her forget about her. Then I asked her if she wanted to talk or wanted me to leave her alone. She said she'll talk tomorrow. I just wished her well, she said thank you, and I left.

 

[King Valmont]

Is it normal for a girl to talk about having sex with another guy... like, not too long after you meet?

It was really awkward.

EDIT: OK, details. We were talking and I really thought I got to her. She even mentioned that she likes to star gaze from her balcony and I was like, I'm so jealous... and she said, I'll show you someday. That seemed to hint to something to me... so it just appears to be mixed signals.

It all depends....

If she starts talking about past relationships/bf's then it will be great information... the more you learn about her the better... to be able to seduce her this critical information on how they treated her, where they took her, what they did...

Girl's usually go for the same kind of guys. This information will give you the keys for what you need to do and how to adapt when seducing her. Not every girl can be seduced the same.

 

[Igetit!]

Goddammit... she's just feeling down. She told me not to take it personally. I just told her that I was hurt, but then told her forget about her. Then I asked her if she wanted to talk or wanted me to leave her alone. She said she'll talk tomorrow. I just wished her well, she said thank you, and I left.

Well this is over with. You told her you were hurt? HUGE MISTAKE.

You just killed any possible attraction she had for you. It's like dropping a glass on the floor. Bam,it shatters into a million pieces.

Whenever a girl gets into the mode of trying to "protect" you,it's over.

Women are attracted to superior men. Bigger,stronger,someone who can be her shield and protector. I can understand you breaking down if someone pulled a gun on you,but a girl not responding to you in a day or two?

You mean that's all it took for her (a woman) to hurt you?

Nope,nope,this one is done for. She'll still keep talking with you,and may even hang out with you,but internally,she has NO CONFIDENCE in you.

If you two go out somewhere,and some guy approaches her and threatens her,you think she'll feel safe with you? All she had to do was not respond to you over the internet and you had a breakdown,so what hope do you have with a guy standing in front of you ready to bash your face in?

This is over with.

I DO hope I'm wrong...but I doubt it.

 

[Heartagram]

I knew it might've been a mistake, but not that bad...

Is there anything I can do to lessen any damage done? =\

Whenever a girl gets into the mode of trying to "protect" you,it's over.

That's not necessarily true. Many girls want their guys to be more open to them. My ex was actually quite pissed when I didn't want to open up to her.

I mean, a guy can't be depressed and talk to his girlfriend about it?