Talking about "game" in public

[OnTheWayUp]

Hi people,

Just wanted to find out: who do you talk about aspects of game with off this site? I'm talking here about "game" in the broadest sense of the term, so pick-up, but also self-esteem, how to keep a relationship healthy, the roles of men and women in society etc.

My experience with voicing the views advocated on here in public has nearly always been negative. I have 3/4 good male friends who are interested in pick-up (one has read the Mystery Method, for example), and they love it. But these friends are the exception rather than the rule. My parents (beta dad, controlling mum) think my attitude towards women is sexist and my opinion of ONSs "disgusting." Just about everybody I know subscribes to the Disney/ soulmate view of relationships, and some of my contemporaries (I'm 21) are even starting to settle down and get married. God help them. Talking to girls in bed about what they find attractive in a man is interesting, if only to see the extent to which they delude themselves, but ultimately counter-productive, since a woman (tacitly) expects a man to know how to express his sexuality.

Can we as men ever talk about these things in public? What are your experiences?

 

[3countriesPlan]

Ya, me and my wings always talk about it in public.. then again I'm in HK which means most people won't know what a "fclose that breezie in a tree" means. However, some people do know what we're saying and they just kinda huddle closer to us on the subway for example and soak up game. Even had some weird PUA open us to hash game. Naturally, he knew he had to leave within minutes.

 

[Mike32ct]

Only discuss it with like-minded guy friends or a trusted friend that is open-minded.

When I mentioned it to others, they found it interesting, but I was still met with a lot of skepticism. Their attitude was more like "That sh*t is ridiculous. It's mostly about looks anyway." In fact, she asked me if that "Mystery guy was good looking." (Actually there is a shred of truth to this view point. Even Mystery is 6'5". Tall is a form of good looking. But that's a whole other thread lol.)

The other problem is that it leads to bragging about your conquests. That's fine with when you are hanging out with like-minded or open-minded friends. But it's dangerous territory at work and should never be discussed there.

Most females (except for a rare trusted friend) will resent you when you discuss pickup and/or your conquests. You will either be a labeled disgusting player pig who uses women, or if they perceive you as AFC / nice guy, they either won't believe you, or think you are EVEN bigger loser desperate to try anything to get laid.

This is because women DO NOT WANT YOU TO SUCCEED in this game. You are either a naturally attractive guy or an AFC loser. They loath the idea that you could improve your attractiveness and change categories. So, you trying to "improve your attractiveness and game" is viewed a desperate exercise in futility. You should just accept your fate and marry that fat chick with three kids lol.

It's even worse if you're an older DJ like me. On top of all the above, you're a guy who won't "grow up." They assume that you are the creepy old dude who ONLY hangs out at college night clubs and hits on 18-21 year olds. (Little do they know that most of my targets are low 30s. I personally have NO problem with older guys and younger women thing. I'm talking about peoples' perceptions, not my own.)

F283000 said it best, "Women want James Bond. They just don't want you to BECOME James Bond."

 

[Aaron B]

most people are slaves to their social conditioning and are unable to consider the possibility that their internal beliefs are wrong and harmful to them in their interactions with women

in accordance with that knowledge, I generally keep my mouth shut about "game" and whatnot

I do get a kick out of calling women out when I hear them say blatantly sexist things like "oh if he said that to me, I'd SMACK him"

then I'll be like "oh wow I didn't realize you advocated physical abuse, that's really surprising" then shut up and enjoy the show while they fall all over themselves trying to backtrack

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I see dudes all the time whether it be at school, at a bar, or just on the bus in the city who have studied PUA methods. I can just sort of sense it in them. The way the sit or stand, the way they dress, and just the way the present themselves. I always think about saying something to them like "Hey check out that HB8 over there sitting down" just to see what their reaction might be haha..

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Thanks for the answers people, there's a pretty clear perspective emerging here, and sadly it's one I agree with:

As far as talking about game, I've learned it is best to keep my beliefs to myself.

Only discuss it with like-minded guy friends or a trusted friend that is open-minded.

It's just such a shame. I have so many male friends (including my own brother) who are successful in just about every other way in life, yet are terrorised by their gfs and subscribe to a oneitis mindset rather than one of abundance. They could learn so much. Perhaps I'm being naive expecting people (especially mainstream male opinion) to change so easily.

 

[Mike32ct]

I see dudes all the time whether it be at school, at a bar, or just on the bus in the city who have studied PUA methods. I can just sort of sense it in them. The way the sit or stand, the way they dress, and just the way the present themselves. I always think about saying something to them like "Hey check out that HB8 over there sitting down" just to see what their reaction might be haha..

Agreed. You can also tell when they use Community phrases or keywords.
A guy at a club told me he was "warming up to get into a social state.". I said "You're in the Community.". He said, "Yeah."

I should have replied, "That's what you were subcommunicating lol."

 

[pinhas]

I have learned that most of the male population is not ready for PUA and game. Its really the male ego fighting back saying that "learning how to be good with girls" is lame, weak and pathetic, all the while they stand in the corner of the club with a deer in the headlights look.

I have 1-2 friends that are into it, they understood that just like any other skill, being good with women is either something you are born with or you must learn it and get better. They are the only ones that I speak to about game and PUA; they get it, they understand it and they don't have pre-conceived notions about it. Unfortunately, my best friend, who needs more help than any is resistant to "learning" and he seems comfortable staying in his comfort zone and living out his life in complete safety and obscurity. I tried helping him and introducing him to the community, but to no avail. Unfortunately for him, im starting to care less and less; I dont even try to get him to come out anymore as its a lost case. Losing your taste for like at 25 is a sad sight to see..

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Agreed. You can also tell when they use Community phrases or keywords.
A guy at a club told me he was "warming up to get into a social state.". I said "You're in the Community.". He said, "Yeah."

I should have replied, "That's what you were subcommunicating lol."

Lol yeah, a friend of mine said something about "sexual tension building" when I was chatting up this girl the other night.. None of them know I read about stuff like this so I said back to him "What, did you get that out of cosmo magazine? you sound like a chick" lol.

 

[Konada]

My friends laughed at me when I purchased 'The Game' by Neil Strauss the other day. Yeah, the same guys that got LJBF'ed from 24/7 texting girls.

Have to agree with Espi here, most people are really close minded about trying to become good with the ladies. It doesn't pay to air your beliefs unless you're 100% sure the guy wants to help himself first.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Every random chump within earshot of your conversation about Game, about your 'changed' way of seeing inter-gender relations, about your most objective critical observations of how women 'are', etc. – understand, that chump waits everyday for an opportunity to "correct" you in as public a way as he's able to muster. That AFC who's been fed on a steady diet of noble intent, with ambitions of endearing a woman's intimacy through his unique form of chivalry; that guy, he's aching for an opportunity to prove his quality by publicly redressing a "villain" like you for your chauvinism. Even under the conditions of relative anonymity (like the internet), he'll still cling to that want of proving his uniqueness just on the off chance that a woman might read his rebuff and be fatefully attracted to him.

This is the bread and butter of the White Knight beta. It's best to assume that most guys who pick up on just your Game vibe, to say nothing of overtly talking about it, are going to side with the feminine imperative by default. For practitioners of Beta Game (which is to say the better part of 90% of guys) this is an organic opportunity to identify with women and engage in the same shaming conventions women use without the fear of having it seem contrived.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Good thread people. Rollo's developed his ideas a bit further on his blog (see his sig) if anyone else wants to read any further.