Talking about ex on first date

[Blacksheep]

I still have my doubts why some women like to talk about that. I went out on a first date with a 28yrs old girl. She went at my place and I cooked something and we talk and meet each other.

She plays a role of a girl who doesnt party, dont drink too much. Thats was a good sign at first.

We were talking, she asked if I had any relationship. I said yes, but last one doesn last so much (didnt get into details) and asked her back.

Then she talked about a guy she dated for a year, but they broke up because he was complaining that she spent most of her weekends on her family's ranch. So its a bit weird, but I kept listening...

Then she said that after they broke up, they kept talking on Instagram and following each other. He always sent her good morning and good night text, and she said because of that she kept talking. Then this guy started a new relationship. After that he texted her and said that he might have rushed himself taking that decision (showing that he still likes her). After that she said him to dont keep texting her to respect his girlfriend. He texted her one more time about her father.

And that time, his new girlfriend started to follow that girl on Instagram... It seems to stalk her.

Those are some red flags for me. And I like to keep observing without telling what I think about to avoid people to wear masks and hide their true self.

I just dont understand if it was a test or if she was trying to see how I would react to that.

I made a comment that I thought that guy wasnt being loyal to his actual girlfriend doing those things, and also that woman staying in that relationship and having to stalk his ex doesnt seems she have much self-love/self-worth.

Any ideas why some women like to talk about it?

Some women I dated didnt get in those conversations on first date. And I think its a common sense... It just seems weird.

 

[Billtx49]

Seems to me that anyone who talks about their past that soon, is not completely over their past yet…

 

[Blacksheep]

Seems to me that anyone who talks about their past that soon, is not completely over their past yet…

Believe that too. Probably she still like that guy

 

[Billtx49]

Believe that too. Probably she still like that guy

Could well be a rebound situation then …

 

[Blacksheep]

Could well be a rebound situation then …

It seems based on what she told me, that this guy was the one who broke up.

He was the one complaining about the situation. But she told me that both had a mature conversations and both agreed to broke up. I have my doubts on that.

Actually I'm not going to look for her anymore, like inviting for a date or anything else. If she text me and show interest I can go and have some fun, but Idk if she is for a long term relationship.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Sounds a bit alpha-widow-ish to me. When someone says the break up was "mutual", it was probably the other person who actually did the break up. She can be a plate but dont rush into any exclusivity.

 

[Blacksheep]

Sounds a bit alpha-widow-ish to me. When someone says the break up was "mutual", it was probably the other person who actually did the break up. She can be a plate but dont rush into any exclusivity.

Yep, it sounds to be something like that.

And yes, she will be only a plate, nothing more than that. I know where this story ends if I gave her any exclusivity.

Tonight I have a date with another girl. Hope this one didn't talk weird stories about ex haha

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

she would be demoted to plate material non-negotiable on sight. Whenever a woman starts yapping away about an ex cvck she used to bang in her recent past, I bust out my phone and make a quick business call in spanish.
After 2 minutes I hang up and change the subject.
Women who casually bring up an ex dude she used to fvck is because he is still fresh in her memory. Never ended "mutually" for me when a chick brings up an ex that quick. They get ditched to the curb real quick after a couple bangs.

 

[Blacksheep]

she would be demoted to plate material non-negotiable on sight. Whenever a woman starts yapping away about an ex cvck she used to bang in her recent past, I bust out my phone and make a quick business call in spanish.
After 2 minutes I hang up and change the subject.
Women who casually bring up an ex dude she used to fvck is because he is still fresh in her memory. Never ended "mutually" for me when a chick brings up an ex that quick. They get ditched to the curb real quick after a couple bangs.

Thats true! The one I dated tonight showed me how true it is.

This one we went to a bar and had a very good conversation, no ex talk at all. At the end we had some kiss and stayed hug at my car. She showed a lot of interest and those kisses were pretty hot.

A big contrast to what Ive experienced last night with that other girl.

 

[Alvafe]

well you have now good instints, follow then, have fun with her but never take her serious, and keep searching

 

[member160292]

Knowledge dropped here. For those that initially post here on why a chick would go silent after good times…you’re the rebound

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Thats true! The one I dated tonight showed me how true it is.

This one we went to a bar and had a very good conversation, no ex talk at all. At the end we had some kiss and stayed hug at my car. She showed a lot of interest and those kisses were pretty hot.

A big contrast to what Ive experienced last night with that other girl.

Females who constantly bring up an ex or any dude in general in your presence are no good. Especially in the beginning.
That just means that she is looking for the rebound and then she will drop you like a bad habit. Because that is what hves do.
Just have fun with her and when she leaves ,you won't even have felt that gust of wind.

A vet or two around here will reiterate that.


The second girl seems more disciplined and classy in that aspect. She was feeling your energy and you were feeling hers. chemistry in the smoke. No past brought up is a good sign.
Keep your head on a swivel and keep gaming her like you already are. Enjoy them for the time being because they can leave at any moment.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Nip that in the bud real fast:
“Ah, but this is a new era and a chance for exciting, new things to happen. I don’t believe in rehashing the past. There’s too much great stuff to look forward to.”
Next, you change the subject. If she doesn’t get the hint, then cut her loose.

 

[Blacksheep]

Nip that in the bud real fast:
“Ah, but this is a new era and a chance for exciting, new things to happen. I don’t believe in rehashing the past. There’s too much great stuff to look forward to.”
Next, you change the subject. If she doesn’t get the hint, then cut her loose.

Thats a good idea!

 

[bat soup]

I still have my doubts why some women like to talk about that. I went out on a first date with a 28yrs old girl. She went at my place and I cooked something and we talk and meet each other.

She plays a role of a girl who doesnt party, dont drink too much. Thats was a good sign at first.

We were talking, she asked if I had any relationship. I said yes, but last one doesn last so much (didnt get into details) and asked her back.

Then she talked about a guy she dated for a year, but they broke up because he was complaining that she spent most of her weekends on her family's ranch. So its a bit weird, but I kept listening...

Then she said that after they broke up, they kept talking on Instagram and following each other. He always sent her good morning and good night text, and she said because of that she kept talking. Then this guy started a new relationship. After that he texted her and said that he might have rushed himself taking that decision (showing that he still likes her). After that she said him to dont keep texting her to respect his girlfriend. He texted her one more time about her father.

And that time, his new girlfriend started to follow that girl on Instagram... It seems to stalk her.

Those are some red flags for me. And I like to keep observing without telling what I think about to avoid people to wear masks and hide their true self.

I just dont understand if it was a test or if she was trying to see how I would react to that.

I made a comment that I thought that guy wasnt being loyal to his actual girlfriend doing those things, and also that woman staying in that relationship and having to stalk his ex doesnt seems she have much self-love/self-worth.

Any ideas why some women like to talk about it?

Some women I dated didnt get in those conversations on first date. And I think its a common sense... It just seems weird.

It's a fairly stupid thing to do and the women that do it have to be a bit dumb to not realise what a turnoff it is.

It seems in this case the girl is not really over her past and uses anyone who listens as a therapist. Clearly she asked that question so that you'd ask back and she'd have the opportunity to talk about herself.

It's better if asked this question, not to ask back and to just move on to more productive topics.

 

[Blacksheep]

It's a fairly stupid thing to do and the women that do it have to be a bit dumb to not realise what a turnoff it is.

It seems in this case the girl is not really over her past and uses anyone who listens as a therapist. Clearly she asked that question so that you'd ask back and she'd have the opportunity to talk about herself.

It's better if asked this question, not to ask back and to just move on to more productive topics.

Thats a good point!

It definitely seemed like she was trying to prove someone that she was over her ex, but in her speech, it doesn't sound like that. It was like trying to prove herself she doesn't like him anymore.

 

[dark god]

I would ask her " Do I look like dr. Phil or something?" Using you as her emotional tampon/ therapist is not only disrepectful but shows her character. She should be asking questions about you not talking about her ex. I would cut her loose. Probably wont get better.

 

[Blacksheep]

I would ask her " Do I look like dr. Phil or something?" Using you as her emotional tampon/ therapist is not only disrepectful but shows her character. She should be asking questions about you not talking about her ex. I would cut her loose. Probably wont get better.

Hahaha that would be funny to say.

Actually I will stop talking to her. After this date she doesnt even sent any message to talk... I sent one yesterday just to see how she was going to answer me and she was cold. So Im not wasting my time on that.

The second girl I dated this weekend is showing high interest, so better to focus on her.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

OP it's a good thing. She's being honest and open with you while providing valuable information. I always ask questions about ex's and females past sexual experiences. You don't want any surprises about this girl if ya'll continue to spend time together. Every single girl I have dealt with in the past 3 years was open to sharing stories and experiences with other men. This also allows you to show her your genuine curiosity and conversation skills, while also getting her to talk about herself.

I've had girls tell me why her ex didn't satisfy her, which lead to us talking about what turns her on, which lead to me talking smooth and dirty to her, which she loved. I store this information for future reference and game plan. IT'S ALL GOOD. If she doesn't want to converse about past relationships that's fine, move on to the next topic.

Some of you guys kill me. Don't let the red pill disarm you from letting her be a woman in your presence. If you're taking her on dates and doin what you silly boys do with your indirect sub communication bull****, then conversing about past relationships should be right up your ally. Don't come off insecure or needy about her ex messaging her. Be understanding and indifferent. Make a light hearted, comical remark and keep it light and fun. "Well you're on to bigger and better things now " something like that...

YOU DON'T OWN A WOMAN'S *****. You aren't truly red pill until you understand this. This allows you to be indifferent to her promiscuous ways or past experiences. Women don't want a man who gets upset over a past boyfriend. Use it to your advantage. You same guys sayin "Oh I'd next her right away" blah blah blah blah. If you are so alpha and bad ass then why don't you just tell her you want to blow her back out? AHHHHHHH that's what I thought.

 

[Blacksheep]

OP it's a good thing. She's being honest and open with you while providing valuable information. I always ask questions about ex's and females past sexual experiences. You don't want any surprises about this girl if ya'll continue to spend time together. Every single girl I have dealt with in the past 3 years was open to sharing stories and experiences with other men. This also allows you to show her your genuine curiosity and conversation skills, while also getting her to talk about herself.

I've had girls tell me why her ex didn't satisfy her, which lead to us talking about what turns her on, which lead to me talking smooth and dirty to her, which she loved. I store this information for future reference and game plan. IT'S ALL GOOD. If she doesn't want to converse about past relationships that's fine, move on to the next topic.

Some of you guys kill me. Don't let the red pill disarm you from letting her be a woman in your presence. If you're taking her on dates and doin what you silly boys do with your indirect sub communication bull****, then conversing about past relationships should be right up your ally. Don't come off insecure or needy about her ex messaging her. Be understanding and indifferent. Make a light hearted, comical remark and keep it light and fun. "Well you're on to bigger and better things now " something like that...

YOU DON'T OWN A WOMAN'S *****. You aren't truly red pill until you understand this. This allows you to be indifferent to her promiscuous ways or past experiences. Women don't want a man who gets upset over a past boyfriend. Use it to your advantage. You same guys sayin "Oh I'd next her right away" blah blah blah blah. If you are so alpha and bad ass then why don't you just tell her you want to blow her back out? AHHHHHHH that's what I thought.

This is a interesting point! Thanks for sharing that!

I agree thats ok to talk about ex in some conversations. I just thought that context I described was weird since she still keeps following him on social media and also being open to talk to him. I would never commit to a woman like, cause I know it could be a problem in the future. As Im sure she would be very insecure if I have any contact or friendship with any ex gf.

When we just talk about past experiences and its done, most times we dont keep contact with ex. It could be disrespectful for a woman Im dating recently if I just kept being friend with an ex I used to have feelings and sex with. Some may be ok with that, but Im definitely dont accept that.

I dont get mad or angry, just move on to find another person more aligned with those values.