Talkativeness = Confidence?

[knglerxt]

I know women like confidence in a guy. Blah Blah Blah. But do you think women equate talkativeness with confidence? Do most girls think a guy's got low self-esteem just because he's quiet?

The reason I ask this is because I've always been a quiet guy. It's not that I'm scared of women or anything. I don't even talk that much around people I've known for years. It's just part of my personality.

Maybe some guys don't talk much because of self-esteem issues, but not all quiet guys are like that. Everybody's different. Some people are talkative, some aren't.


The only downside to it is that it really hinders my ability to meet and form relationships with women. I definitely think I can improve, but I don't think I'll ever be a "life of the party" type person, nor do I care to be.

It just seems like it's going to be hard for me to find the type of girl I'm attracted to that likes quiet guys. Most girls go after the really social, outgoing guys.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm a quiet guy, and I'm learning to let the women do all of the talking through my PRIMING date experiences. To be skilled at convo, you must learn to fluff talk, then ask questions and let her do all the talking, and when she is talking, listen, see if there is something you can captalise on to turn it romantic or sexual, or change the subject to something you can.

You do this by convo-extending questions, which are questions that trys to elicit her 'feelings' about things she is saying, like.
oh, how does that make you feel?
Amazing, have you felt that way since?
Wow, what was it about that that make ou feel best?
and stuff like that......

In principle, people who talk to much are likely to say something stupid or offensive to turn a prospect off, and the LEAST amount of talking as possible should be done - a propsect is either opening up to you or she isn't. If she doesn't trust you, dont waste your time.

You only need demonstrate to a woman when talking that you are not dangerous, and once that barrier is crossed, usually within the first few minutes of convo, then you can move to close her.

If she is you contact-close her and run and cut the convo off, or NEXT. I'm a contact-close phobic, so I am going to work on this myself.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I've been browsing through the fast seduction site. Read the Commonly asked questions - it will refer you to Maniac's site, which goes into detail about convos and stuff like that. I haven't seen it yet, but plan too. Check it out.

 

[KoalaKing]

Woman prefer charisma of which confidence is only one of the seven elements, you need the other six as well to fully attain an AlphaMale type status.

You don't have to talk a lot to be confident or have charisma, it is how you hold yourself, your body language, power talk, and a King type aura and personality that comes from within you that attracts the hottest babes to you, its not how much you talk, but what you say when you do.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

That's an interesting point. What's the stats on this, 60 % body language,
30 % tone, and 10% is what you say.

But, as another book (selling Real-Estate) has pointed out, if you already know what to say, and have some memorised canned selections, then you can free your brain to work on the other 90% of how you conduct yourself.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Be the light of the world.

 

[dannowillbookem]

im learning to talk alot less, which is good because if my mouth is open im usually fuccking myself over.

 

[Silverback82]

sometimes being talkative is a sign of being nervous

 

[Doggystyle]

I used to be very very quiet. The most quietest person you will ever meet!

I don't think it has anything to do with confidence. I was confident before coming to this site, but after reading many posts telling me how to be confident or be a man, i started to think that i wasn't confident or a man and had to learn it from scratch (maybe even buy some dvd's!), even though i was already.

Some people are talkative (talk about themselves a lot) and others aren't (don't like to talk about themselves).

The non talkative people get given advice on how to talk to people, by talkative people saying "ask her questions". All very good if you want to establish no value about yourself. The talkative people say this as they are already talking about themselves a lot maybe too much and so a question is ok therefore the person that is asked a question responds in a talkative way back (rapport)

Just asking questions all the time without giving anything back yourself is going to be like getting blood out of a stone, why would anyone just want to sit there answering your questions all day only to be followed by another question, its like an interrogation, getting no feed back!

The dynamic for rapport is sharing experiences, talking about yourself in relation to what she is saying.

So....
Talk about yourself a lot (its a wide subject)
Ask few questions and make more statements when she is talking

e.g.
don't say stuff like: Was that good?

say stuff like: wow that sounds good, reminds me of a time when I blah blah

Talk - Listen - Relate

 

[Rocko]

Talking a lot can be seen as a sign of weekness, that you are impatient because you can't stand silence and that the attention is not always on you. You should be the center of attention, but there are other ways. Simple listening (like Luke said) and making certain comments while you lay back all cool like will do the trick. Do not overdue it or underdue it.

 

[mcqueen207]

Clint Eastwood is a model of confidence. He is a man of few words.

Nuff said

 

[flexion_]

Nope.

 

[Tom Juan]

NO, IT'S NOT. If you are truly confidence, you do not even need to say anything. You will have a certain aura around you the women will immediately notice. I'm just like you, actually.

 

[AngelusPUA]

Talking too much is a sign of weakness.....

I talk really slowly and powerfully like Christopher Walken, my words get instant recognition from the people around me. I use to talk fast but I learnt the most powerful characters in history talked slowly and spoke few words.

-Clint Eastwood as just about any character her has played.
-James Bond
-Christopher Walken in most roles he is very powerful and dominating.

It is more about your tone, you have to get the right tone and speed, talking slowly makes people listen to you and hang on your every word. Talking slowly also give you time to think about what you are going to say, even an extra second of thinking can make all the difference between saying the wrong thing and the right thing.

People who talk too much get annoying and come off as insecure, they also often blurt out the wrong thing and make fools of themselves.

When you ask a girl what attributes she likes in a man a lot of them will say "a good listener", so you just listen and let people tell you about themselves, biggest mistake guys make on a date is to talk about themselves too much. Let the girl talk about everything and anything all you have to do is listen and obviously carry the conversation along.

The most important person in a person’s life is themselves, therefore women love to talk about themselves so you should let them. If you let a woman talk about herself and you look into her eyes and act interested she will appreciate it a lot more than a guy who talks about himself all night.

 

[fonderboy]

I talk really slowly and powerfully like Christopher Walken, my words get instant recognition from the people around me. I use to talk fast but I learnt the most powerful characters in history talked slowly and spoke few words.

Sorry to side-track this thread a little, but I saw this video today and it is simply too funny to pass up.
http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/christopher_walken_prank_call.html :crackup:

Anyway back to your question. It's all about how you carry yourself. Are you nervous and jittery? Do you speak fast? Do you speak slow? Are you relaxed? The former two make you seem less confident, while the lattero two make you seem more confident.

You could be the greatest talker in the world, but if you stare at the ground the whole time while talking and you stutter, you'll come off as insecure and weird. However, if you give strong eye contact and you talk in a relaxed and forceful tone, it doesn't matter how much you talk, you will still come off as confident.