Talkative Or Mystery: The Ultimate Discussion

[PiHiPlaya]

Hello fellow DJs! From reading this board I figured we need more quality posts and less questions in which the answers can be found in the bible. I also figured that instead of just giving the philosophy of one Don might not be the best either. So alas, what do we have? A Discussion!

Ok here is this weeks question.....

Being a Mystery, or being very friendly and talking to everyone.... What is better? On the side, your input of whether you can be both and how to accomplish it would be appreciated too

Many Dons talk about being a Mystery to lure in a girl, but on the flipside many Dons talk about being friendly and talking to everyone. I know this confuses many new DJs, so what is better? What kind of personality fits you better?

Everyone is encouraged to participate and give their 2 cents, the more the merrier.

Enjoy!

 

[DJ Girevik]

I just do whatever I'm in the mood for. If I'm in the mood to talk I talk a lot. If I'm in the mood not to talk I don't talk much, although I am still friendly. I don't do it for the sake of mystery either, it's just how I naturally am.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by DJ Girevik
I just do whatever I'm in the mood for. If I'm in the mood to talk I talk a lot. If I'm in the mood not to talk I don't talk much, although I am still friendly. I don't do it for the sake of mystery either, it's just how I naturally am.

Preach it. I think that people get too caught up in the fact that they think that they HAVE to do the things on this site and cant modify them the slightest bit.

 

[runna4]

Yeah exactly... sometimes you have to try and throw in some common sense; adapt.

At the same time, don't go spilling out all your emotions that you have for the girl on the first date, and freak her out.

As with everything, a lot of times you just learn the best from past experiences/situations.

A good rule of thumb, is to just offer information about yourself when asked... and are comfortable with it. Let the girl do the majority of the talking and you can always talk a lot, but that doesn't mean the conversation has to be about yourself and how you feel. Thus... you still have "concealed" things about yourself from her.

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

have you all ever seen james bond movies ...

omg this guy is a master, even if you look at his body its not that great and he gets chicks. well i know its just a movie but still a chick would fall for that..

but what im trying to say is , there was this one scene in a movie and he was approaching this chick. He said a brief comment like , beautiful view isnt it? and she was like yea yea or whet ever , but what i found out was that, he started it but during the convo it switched so that the girl was asking all the questions. You know what i mean, ..

somebody expand on this, haha

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Originally posted by RawkinKaoticStyle
have you all ever seen james bond movies ...

omg this guy is a master, even if you look at his body its not that great and he gets chicks. well i know its just a movie but still a chick would fall for that..

but what im trying to say is , there was this one scene in a movie and he was approaching this chick. He said a brief comment like , beautiful view isnt it? and she was like yea yea or whet ever , but what i found out was that, he started it but during the convo it switched so that the girl was asking all the questions. You know what i mean, ..

somebody expand on this, haha

To elaborate, Bond takes a normal situation and turns it into a very sexually tense situation for both of them. With his witty and smooth remarks, he gets the girl aroused just by looking and talking to her. He gracefully leads the conversation where he wants and then takes advantage of it. Although Bond is good looking, his aire of confidence and charm is intoxicating to women around him and seals the deal.

Watch Die Another Day and you'll know what I mean. Genius, pure genius. It's a much needed change from the wuss-bags of Star Wars Episode 2 and The Matrix: Reloaded (yes, neo was a puss in that movie).

 

[Jester]

i felt no need to even read the post, justf rom the topic u can know what to say.


In the wise words of Pop-Eye, "I yam who i yam".

If you talk a lot, talk a lot, if you dont talk so much, dont talk so much. Be who you wanna be, not what ppl say you should be or do what ppl say you should do.

Dont try to be anything but you, anything else is Anti-Dj.


*EDIT*

Hey i read ur reply Dj Girevik, nice mindset.

 

[PiHiPlaya]

Originally posted by Jester
i felt no need to even read the post, justf rom the topic u can know what to say.


In the wise words of Pop-Eye, "I yam who i yam".

If you talk a lot, talk a lot, if you dont talk so much, dont talk so much. Be who you wanna be, not what ppl say you should be or do what ppl say you should do.

Dont try to be anything but you, anything else is Anti-Dj.

That's a good point, but if it was true then we would all be AFCs that would be expressing ourselves by writing notes. When we read the bible, we learn things to change more or less of our personality and what to add to it. This discussion is merely a comparison on what would be better for you to be.

I do agree with you on some level though, if you are more talkative be talkative, and if your mysterious that's cool too.

 

[REDblueOI]

surprisingly... EVEN MORE PPL WHO HAVE NO CLUE WHAT MYSTERY IS...

man, christ, its not "who is he" its "what is he going to do next" how many times do I have to say it till u fela's get it straight?

So, the *REAL* answer is both. Duh.

 

[Eternal]

Not knowing what he's doing next is also being "spontaneous."

 

[Sax God]

Just be who you are. For instance, I talk to people a lot. It always seems, however, that I'm not telling them the whole story. I can tell a story from start to end, but then the person always seems to look at me and say that it seems like there's something about me that makes them feel like I've left something out.

It's both a blessing and a curse.

 

[cant think of a user name]

Originally posted by PiHiPlaya
That's a good point, but if it was true then we would all be AFCs that would be expressing ourselves by writing notes. When we read the bible, we learn things to change more or less of our personality and what to add to it.

Hmm this is my 200th post...

Anyway, the bible is basically there to guide you, get rid of all your "chump-ness" if you know what I mean.

From reading the bible and applying the mindset of a DJ, you become a better, improved person. From then on, you definately WONT be an AFC expressing yourself by writing notes, because that's not you. You would be a DJ, and thus being mysterious OR talkative would completely be up to you.

Mysterious is not better.
Talkative is not better.
They are different.

 

[El brujo]

Let the girl do the majority of the talking

What if this girl doesn't say much? How can you let her do all the talking? Like this situation:

We were smoking some weed in the bushes (me and her), and she was kind of in to me (don't think she wasn't, she definitely was), but she didn't say a fµcking word. What to do about that? Should I keep on talking till we get a conversation, or should I keep my mouth shut, hoping that she would say something? Maybe it was because she was high, but in general she's always quiet. I really felt stupid by saying something and the only thing I got back was some high-girl's laughter. And when I'm the only one talking, I really feel stupid and then I think "Should I keep my mouth shut? Am I boaring her? Is she even interested???? (most of the time I say interesting stuff... )

Hope I'll get some replies.

Bye

 

[Sammo]

So to conclude:

Be mysterious and talkative, its quite possible to be both. Of course dont be talkative let the girl do most the talking once she feels comfortable around you.

 

[Cloud-uk]

yea, this has hit the nail on the head. Being mysterious, sitting in the corner by yourself, does't get people interested in you. It might happen in movie, with the "mysterious stranger" keeping himslef to himself and attracting all the attention from the b1tches, but not in real life. They'll leave you there, and go for the extroverts, the guys that put themselves out there.

As with all things, there's overkill with being mysterious. Being spontanious, brooding, deep, are what we're going for. Put yourself out there, get the women, but don't let them think they've worked you out. You want to be a riddle, wrapped in a puzzle, wrapped in a question. Is this not what makes the AFC infatuated with women? It is they're suposed "in-undertandability" that starts the obsession.

So take them out for suprise meals, organise romantic evenings on a whim, cancel on something you planned to keep them guessing. Just dont sit in the corner like a fvcking wierdo.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

It is very possible to be a mystery and be very talkative @ the same time. Mystery deals with not what you say... but how you say it. I talk... a lot. If a girl is shy around me... I usually end up dominating the conversation. Now you may ask yourself... "How could you still be a mystery?" Well... because I talk a lot, but I say nothing @ all. Put it this way... it took my girlfriend of almost 11 months that I do this all of the time... I talk a lot of surface matters, but I really do not say much about me... if I do, I either tell the person something that's very small and unimportant (like my age) or something that is just flat out not true. My personality is a walking paradox, so I can do things like this. I agree with Jester when he simply said... be how and who you are.

The Matrix: Reloaded

 

[Julius_Caesar]

I strongly advocate the very social method, meeting and talking to many people, because it improves your social abilities and charm and it makes you have more worth in her eyes, social proof; I also think that you can say alot of stuff and have absolutely no meaning whatsoever in what you say, just constantly crack jokes, its what I do to keep conversations going. For instance, be a social butteryfly that everyone knows and then when your with her be a mystery. She will think, why is he not talking to me like the others......, blah blah, basically you get her thinking and reacting to you and you got her in the palm of your hand.

Mystery guys who sit in the corner don't get noticed, unless you are really good looking in which case you don't really need to be a mystery. You can also be the Mystery guy IF you manage to be the center of attention, like you know everybody in the room and they all like you but you just sit back and flow while they come up to you, people love that sort of thing, people love to think a guy is really cool and let him sit back and be cool. If you can be the center of attention and be a mystery at the same time, then my friend, you have reached the highest social standing possible. So basically you have to get people to notice you before you can pull the "mystery" thing out of your DJ hand bag.

 

[DJZAP]

Well what I have found to work really well is to talk, but don't talk about anything that has anything to do with you. By doing this i find that people become more interested and would rather learn about you one on one in a more intimate way.

 

[PiHiPlaya]

Bump, i figure as long as we have to contribute to this board i should do what AC/DC is doing

 

[Porky]

In the past week I've starte to say hi to people in the hallways who I haven't talked to for a year or even two. I've also started to go talk to my friends when they're in groups of people I don't know, and I say hi to everybody. How many friends have I made in the past week? I've lost count. How many numbers could I have gotten, had I been motivated (I still can't see myself with just any girl - high standards, go figure)? I'd say at least 2.

Most of these people are girls, but some are guys. What do they know about me? Nothing but what they hear from other people.

Part of this might be that I gave up IM, which I strongly suggest.