Talk to me about dangling the carrot

[Comatozed]

Went on a tinder date Friday night with a girl. It went really well and I agreed to go see her again on Sunday night.

She seems really into me and I'm pretty into her. She's the perfect mix of cute/insecure.

I want her to catch feels for me.

Am I right to think I should be ignoring her and taking ages to reply to her texts?

I know not to be too available at the start of dating and seeing her in such quick succession probably set the wrong tone, so I'm thinking now is the time to try to get her to worry a bit.

The thing is, purposefully playing girls like that doesn't come naturally to me, I want to talk to her and see her. But I've learnt in the past that that only leads to me getting burned.

So, DJ's, what's the best way to get her hooked? She already double texted monday eveing when I didn't reply to her morning message, she asked me did I want to go for a meal sometime, so she is def interested/quite invested even after just two dates. I was aware that women will start to pursue once they are invested, i'm just surprised it's happened so quick.

I don't want to **** this up, just cos she's into me now if I give in too easily she could just as easily go cold.

Keep texting to a minium and keep her guessing is the way right?

 

[Dutchy17872]

Mirror her communication rate and pace. If she's replying quick to you, give her the same courtesy to the extent it's not an inconvenience to you.

I suspect this one could be "over gamed" if you over do the delayed response thing. And really, do you want to spend any of your valuable time in analyzing when to respond?

I do find myself somewhat subconsciously being aware of who initiated the last communication. If I send a message I avoid another one until the woman reciprocates. No analysis needed it's just a natural tennis match.

Also don't underestimate a phone call in reply to some of her texts. Set yourself apart from the text guys.

Above all just lead her. Tell her your plans and invite her to join your world. Always escalate too. You have a limited window to bed her and make her head spin.

Always good to throw in your own sh*t test, as long as it's not contrived. Ask her to do something for you once in awhile.

 

[Alexandar]

I cant stress enough that you should always be escalating, have you not made out with her yet? if so hurry up just kiss her next time you see her its already too slow. You should never go on a first date without trying to kiss the girl.

but this one above post is all you need, very well said bro. you must have lurked these forums for a while?

 

[blind_one]

What others have said. Escalate. That way you get what you want and shift the dynamic. Set the logistics right, lead her from place to place and then seal the deal.

And foremost, have fun, its what its supposed to be about after all.

 

[Dutchy17872]

Thanks Alexandar! I was a longtime lurker. Between the posts, DJ Bible and Anti Dump, learned quite a bit. Wanted to absorb and apply the material before I was comfortable giving advice.

Wish info like this was around 25 or 30 years ago.

 

[Yewki]

She's the perfect mix of cute/insecure.

Don't do that.

 

[Comatozed]

Sorry shoulda stated, we've had sex twice on each date. First date sex is seen as a red flag for some but I don't read too much into it tbh. I can expand on my reasons for this if wanted.

I get the impression she's really into me right now, for example she will double or triple text until I respond, she's asked to go out again, prefxied with 'I mighta got the wrong idea here but do you wanna go for dinner'. She was clearly wondering if I just liked her for sex or anything more.

She was even like playfighting me to stay when I told her it was time to go last time, so everything is indicating she's really interested.

But I got burnt so badly a few years ago by my ex who was into me, I gave in, then she went cold extremely quick.

There are a lot of differences between now and then though, I **** better for one, I'm aware of game/not being needy, this girl is more insecure etc.

I just want her to maintain/increase interest, just cos she's the one initiating I still think I need to ignore her a bit to be scarce - girls will ruin relationships if you're not careful.

The fact we've ****ed and she's chasing means she's more invested, but I still need to be quite aloof if I really want her hamster spinning. I'm just thinking outloud at this point, bet any input is welcome!