Tale of 3 plates

[Truebrit]

You're being greedy.

I've had 7 girlfriends at the same time and believe me it's no picnic. As you can imagine there's alot of lying and deception involved. You are smart enough to imagine some of the things that I had to do. Having more than one girlfriend is painful because you HAVE TO LIE. There is no getting around it.

I am paying for it now (Karma). Choose one and let the others go.

Me too man - spun 4 all blew up in my face. Being upfront now with ALL my plates.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

But so far - if it aint broke, don't fix it.

I can live with that

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I think the "problem" is that #3 is "like catnip" to you. Maybe if you could try to bump down your interest in her some you'd feel more on an even keel and be able to be with her as you are with Plate # 2?

I think the interest in #3 is partly because she's the new kid on the block. #2 has already slipped into a casual, easy situation. We had lunch on Monday, and lunch with benefits on Tuesday. #3 is still a challenge. Which is what makes her more interesting. I'd even venture to say she's gaming me, but she's so laid back about it that I don't feel any pressure. If she dropped off the radar, I'd be ok with it since I know I still have #1 and #2, and I'm not worried about adding anything more. And that is a turn on as well.

Just to spice things up, #1 will be in town this weekend. :cheer:

 

[Mr. Me]

I think the interest in #3 is partly because she's the new kid on the block.

All right, then mentally put on the perspective that she's your kid sister or Plate #2, so the shine of her newness doesn't affect you.

One of the things about human behavior is that how you feel influences everything you do. That is to say that your "appreciation" of her will spill over into other facets of what you say and do, or don't say or do, and how you say and do it - and often enough without you necessarily being aware of it, but she'll see it. And sometimes with you being aware of it as it's happening, if you don't have sufficient self control.

If she dropped off the radar, I'd be ok with it since I know I still have #1 and #2,

I think one of the main principles of Rollo's Plate Theory, if I'm not mistaken, is to help keep a guy balanced so as not too get too emotionally invested in any one woman.

Yet I think it best to get your head into a place where even if there were no other plates at the moment, you'd still be OK with that.

Of course, there may come a woman that separates herself from the pack and who makes your heart beat a little faster. If that turns out to be #3, then it's even more imperative for you to evaluate her slowly over time and keep yourself in check.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Yet I think it best to get your head into a place where even if there were no other plates at the moment, you'd still be OK with that.

Good point. Three plates today could be no plates tomorrow, and I would be ok with that too. There are always more plates out there waiting to be discovered...that is part of the fun.

Of course, there may come a woman that separates herself from the pack and who makes your heart beat a little faster. If that turns out to be #3, then it's even more imperative for you to evaluate her slowly over time and keep yourself in check.

Also agreed...and I don't plan on closing myself to the idea that anything is possible, over time.

 

[SoCalMike]

I disagree, I think most women will not be happy to hear that you're banging other women.

But it all depends on the context of the situation - if she wants to date other guys, she probably won't care. If she wants only you, you'd better either stop seeing her, pick her (be exlcusive), or not tell her until you've made up your mind which.

If you are a quality guy, most women will want you as LTR material and will NOT be cool with you banging other chicks while you decide what to do.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I don't disagree SoCal, but the point is that I am to be the one who makes the choice here. At this stage, I'm just qualifying these women, seeing them to determine whether or not I am interested in them as LTR material. If they all want me for that, then they will be on their best behavior and that is even better for me.

 

[Truebrit]

I disagree, I think most women will not be happy to hear that you're banging other women.

But it all depends on the context of the situation - if she wants to date other guys, she probably won't care. If she wants only you, you'd better either stop seeing her, pick her (be exlcusive), or not tell her until you've made up your mind which.

If you are a quality guy, most women will want you as LTR material and will NOT be cool with you banging other chicks while you decide what to do.

Your wrong man - to quote Rollo

"Most guys who read Plate Theory begin with an impression that no woman with a shred of self-respect would ever allow herself to knowingly be part of a guy's "harem". That's the first trepidation; most men are too fearful of losing their ONE mythological "quality woman" soulmate (who more often than not happens to be the most attractive woman he's capable of) that the idea of being non-exclusive is a foreign idea to them. That's the challenge of Plate Theory"

and Pook - "Women would rather share a successful man than be attached to a faithful loser".

Whether or not you accept this is down to you but this is FACT. That is how the the female population view the world. It goes against what your brought up with in the media etc and the feminised ideolgical view of the world thats contemporary - but trust me, women just simply are like this.

 

[jafyk]

I only made the drive once. She's come up here the other times. And I think everything else you said is spot-on.



Perfect. I'm with you %100.



Dude, you are so right about the one-itis possibilities. But here's a thing...when we were in bed Sunday morning, I told her I just wanted to rip her clothes off (some were off, not all) and she said "how about I will tell you when it is ok to rip my clothes off?" And I just said no problem, and we went back to making out.




What, me worry? Seriously, If I can keep this up for 3-4 months, it is going to be a GREAT fall! But I definitely agree that at some point, a decision will have to be made.

Yeah, it's gonna be a GREAT FALL hopefully you have something soft to cushion your landing, lol.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Yeah, it's gonna be a GREAT FALL hopefully you have something soft to cushion your landing, lol.

All too true...we're all lucky enough to get a little bit of happiness and fun mixed in with all the bad shyte that can happen in a lifetime, and it isn't all a picnic. Which is why it is even more important to work at making sure the people you choose to spend time with are not going to take advantage of you or are using you to solve some dysfunction of their own (without being honest about it).

 

[SoCalMike]

I don't disagree SoCal, but the point is that I am to be the one who makes the choice here. At this stage, I'm just qualifying these women, seeing them to determine whether or not I am interested in them as LTR material. If they all want me for that, then they will be on their best behavior and that is even better for me.

Nothing wrong with that. I think you're doing the right thing. Every guy needs to play the field, see what his options are, and only settle if he really finds a quality LTR type girl.

Just wouldn't mention the banging other women stuff if you don't have to.

 

[SoCalMike]

Your wrong man - to quote Rollo

"Most guys who read Plate Theory begin with an impression that no woman with a shred of self-respect would ever allow herself to knowingly be part of a guy's "harem". That's the first trepidation; most men are too fearful of losing their ONE mythological "quality woman" soulmate (who more often than not happens to be the most attractive woman he's capable of) that the idea of being non-exclusive is a foreign idea to them. That's the challenge of Plate Theory"

and Pook - "Women would rather share a successful man than be attached to a faithful loser".

Whether or not you accept this is down to you but this is FACT. That is how the the female population view the world. It goes against what your brought up with in the media etc and the feminised ideolgical view of the world thats contemporary - but trust me, women just simply are like this.

I'm talking from experience, not a textbook. I've done this twice and both times it did not go well at all.

As I have already said, it all depends on the situation.

There are the dudes with six pack abs, model looks, plays in a band, and no job. Girls will share guys like this because they just view them as living dildos and nothing more. Or they're immature low quality women who are in love with an ideal (e.g. the rocker dude ideal).

And it will only be temporary until some other guy who treats them better, has a job, etc (LTR material) - AND who satisfies their pvssy - comes into the picture. Or, until they outgrow the immature ideal they're in love with.

But me? No way. I have a high paying career, I'm intelligent, kind, generous... I make women happy when they're with me. I'm not bad looking either, so I get viewed as LTR/marriage material and women get extremely territorial with me.

But hey, you do what works for you. If you can maintain a harem, awesome. I know a guy who was literally sharing a bed every night with two girlfriends. But he was what I already described - the hot dude with no future/job

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Nothing wrong with that. I think you're doing the right thing. Every guy needs to play the field, see what his options are, and only settle if he really finds a quality LTR type girl.

When I think I'm a LTR kind of guy, then the rules will change.