Take this or leave this?

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Girl I used to work with years ago is recently single. She's been single for 3 months coming off a 7 year relationship.

I have her on Social Media and I asked her if she wanted to have lunch and she said she was busy and said if we could "Raincheck" it. I said okay. Today I sent her an article of a new day bar that opened in town and she replied back "we need to go check it out" but right after put "as friends though I'm not ready to date yet "

Would you take this or leave this? Any potential to take advantage of this situation or should I walk away and not waste time?

 

[cola]

Leave it. She isn’t interested in you romantically. it would be a waste of your time.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

What @cola said. If she had interest in an opportunity with you she would make time for you. She isn’t so she doesn’t have interest.

Leave her alone from here on out. Only explore if she reaches out unsolicited to you.

Period.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Thank you for the responses. Will do.

 

[Soldier King]

Listen to Iago's words:

There's nothing in the world, nothing in the whole wide world, there's nothing in the world quite like a friend.

She set your expectations low, now you have nothing promised, that gives no indication of what it could be. It could start as nothing and turn into something. And if she really has 0 interest in you after you've put in significant effort (which I doubt), she could be your wing and hype you up at a party or bar.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Listen to Iago's words:

There's nothing in the world, nothing in the whole wide world, there's nothing in the world quite like a friend.

She set your expectations low, now you have nothing promised, that gives no indication of what it could be. It could start as nothing and turn into something. And if she really has 0 interest in you after you've put in significant effort (which I doubt), she could be your wing and hype you up at a party or bar.

Well said. She does have a great job and a bunch of hot friends.

 

[Soldier King]

exactly, to be honest I wouldn't be mean enough to offend someone to ask to be my wing right away, even if she said she wants to be just my friend. She says that but she's going to a bar with you and she's single, so why couldn't you be the one you chooses? I would really try and get to know her and see if she if you guys have something. She could actually still be hurting from her relationship, you could show her you are not the man he was, of course don't act like that or say that if you're gonna hurt her too.

Anyways I was just saying that about her being your wingman so you would try I actually think you're gonna succeed if you really want it.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Girl I used to work with years ago is recently single. She's been single for 3 months coming off a 7 year relationship.

I have her on Social Media and I asked her if she wanted to have lunch and she said she was busy and said if we could "Raincheck" it. I said okay. Today I sent her an article of a new day bar that opened in town and she replied back "we need to go check it out" but right after put "as friends though I'm not ready to date yet "

Would you take this or leave this? Any potential to take advantage of this situation or should I walk away and not waste time?

Depends on your development. The fact that you have a question about it, then leave it.

Also, the invite over social media is weaker than a direct connect through phone.

If you wanted to push your limits, then she’s on the list of singles you are inviting to socialize with in whatever dynamic is the most fun. Lot’s of girls and just you to mixed outing with adventures you lead the group from there.

You have to expand your awareness though and include the needs of the group as a whole vs using it as a tactic to up your social value with any one girl. The event itself will up your social value by default. You also have the most freedom to move fluidly between participants.

I’ve only done it a handful of times and it’s an area of development for me to crack open.

One time I invited some women I was interested in over for a small party, the sexual tension in the air could be cut with a knife once they knew I was the only guy at the party, I wasn’t able to convert it into a wild romp with all three yet enjoyed having a super wet ***** for the first with one.

As men, we can always be pushing our envelope.

 

[teacha]

Take a hint.

She has no sexual interest in you. Move on.

 

[RangerMIke]

Three months after a 7 year relationship is too soon. She is right. @cola and @BeExcellent are correct... If you don't want to be friends just back off.

 

[Poonani Maker]

You could read a slew of books on attraction like I have (the most recent, the best btw PM me, will probably be re-reading it for the rest of my life and it's EASY to read thus for guys of all spectrums or grade-levels) and you'd come to the same conclusion to ignore this one from now on. Even if she didn't say "as friends" and you went on the "date" and she gave any hint of "as friends," then you nix any idea of being around her from then on. None of this "chummy" stuff with women. She's gotta go "oooooh" with you and when she sees you, like fix her hair kinda "ooooh" and smile right after, sly like a cat. Of course, she has dozens of other options as hot or attractive as you. This is just your foot-in-the-door moment. After she agrees to the date (without saying "friends") then you still have to maintain attraction, after marriage, maintain attraction meaning no weakness whatsoever. If she sees you as just her little brother or a brother, then you're done.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Advice from the old lady:

What @cola said. If she had interest in an opportunity with you she would make time for you. She isn’t so she doesn’t have interest.

Leave her alone from here on out. Only explore if she reaches out unsolicited to you.

Period.

Never diminish yourself, even as a joke, you know better.

 

[dude99]

Girl I used to work with years ago is recently single. She's been single for 3 months coming off a 7 year relationship.

I have her on Social Media and I asked her if she wanted to have lunch and she said she was busy and said if we could "Raincheck" it. I said okay. Today I sent her an article of a new day bar that opened in town and she replied back "we need to go check it out" but right after put "as friends though I'm not ready to date yet "

Would you take this or leave this? Any potential to take advantage of this situation or should I walk away and not waste time?

Yeah the preemptive shooting you down before she even knows your intentions is pretty forward on her part.

What she is essentially saying is "yes lets check the place out? You can even pay because i am agreeing to go out but i wont give any romantic interest in return."

Reply to her preemptive rejection. Keep it playful with " of course as friends. The first round is on you."

 

[MrWood]

could be salvaged... only if SHE becomes YOUR orbiter.
Back off for now, increase your social media presence that she follows to allow her to see how cool you are. Only mildly like or comment hers, better yet.. instead of leaving a comment or a like, send a PM "cute outfit" with the pic she posts etc etc.

You are a possibility for her, but its too soon. You might draw her in, more likely she will go fvck someone that is not in your circle.

 

[Glassguy]

My response would be simple:

"Yeah I am in no way shape or form wanting some serious relationship right now but Im also not interested in being "just friends" either since I find you sexually attractive. Just drinks and fun if I still like you after a few drinks . If you change your mind, hmu".

Then leave it. You are making your intent clear, she may in fact be interested in a FWB without the added stress of dealing with a new BF type situation with anyone.

She is willing to go out drinking with you. Throw that at her and either she bites on it or walk away.

 

[FJA]

I would back off for now since she broke up recently, short contact (flirty text, quick phone call, ask how she's doing, make a joke, send something funny) every 3 weeks, don't go for the weekly contactmoment, it's to predictable and you put yourself in the friendzone. After some months, ask her to get a drink again and than flirt with her. Can be that she is seeing other guys, but do as if you didn't hear that, it's about you and her going for a drink.

 

[Tilex]

ABORT

She's already set the tone right from the start and placed you in the friend zone.
It's a bad start and a very bad sign.

This is an uphill battle for you because she'll be very difficult to deal with.
I wouldn't waste my time on someone that says that to me.

 

[FJA]

ABORT

She's already set the tone right from the start and placed you in the friend zone.
It's a bad start and a very bad sign.

This is an uphill battle for you because she'll be very difficult to deal with.
I wouldn't waste my time on someone that says that to me.

Yep, but give at another try in some months, it worked for me sometimes when dealing with women who came recently from a break up. In the meanwhile, date other women.