Take the Bait or Not

[sagexx]

Today my gf suddenly approach me and asked to break up, she says im not the type of man she wants. she is sick and tired of the feeling of insecurity. as a normal person i asked if i can change for her and stuff, and all that other stuff. she says without thinking " no". so i came here and read and joined the no contact challenge. midway through the day she dissappears from class and did not attend the last class. when i got home and ready to accept the fact. she comes out of no where and wants to hear my voice. and says how scrwewed up she is and yea. she wants to talk with me over the phone, but i limited to texting. we've been going out for 3 years now, i still miss her and dont want to let her go. any advice on how i should approach this? a wrong approach can mess this whole thing up.

 

[Kailex]

Today my gf suddenly approach me and asked to break up, she says im not the type of man she wants.

That's when you show her the door and tell her to GTFO.

she is sick and tired of the feeling of insecurity.

Tell her to go buy herself a dog then.

as a normal person i asked if i can change for her and stuff, and all that other stuff.

No, not as a normal person... as a WHIPPED AFC.
You don't change for anyone.

Look, if she says she wants to break up... she's saying it because she doesn't want to be with YOU anymore... so why do you want to change YOU for someone you think she wants? There are enough women willing to accept YOU for YOU.

she says without thinking " no". so i came here and read and joined the no contact challenge. midway through the day she dissappears from class and did not attend the last class. when i got home and ready to accept the fact. she comes out of no where and wants to hear my voice. and says how scrwewed up she is and yea. she wants to talk with me over the phone, but i limited to texting. we've been going out for 3 years now, i still miss her and dont want to let her go. any advice on how i should approach this? a wrong approach can mess this whole thing up.

Let her go.
She told you that she doesn't want to be with you. Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Ohhhh, she made a mistake?

Mistakes are when you write a 6 instead of a 9, or you colored outside of the lines in your favorite coloring book or when you accidentally burned the toast.
What she did wasn't a mistake. She knew what she was saying, and I'm just astounded by the fact that you could sit there and instead of kicking her to the curb, you ask to change for her?

HELL to the NO.

The whole thing IS messed up. And guess who messed it up... HER.
She's saying she fvcked up and now you are holding the frame unknowingly.

Oh, it's been 3 years? WHO CARES.
That means nothing. She was willing to throw away 3 years in 3 seconds and you are still considering sticking around with her. What happens when she pulls this crap again in 3 months? Are you going to offer to change for her again?

Grow a pair and then tell her to kiss that pair goodbye.
I wouldn't deal with this situation by trying to get back with her, neither should you.

 

[jophil28]

Today my gf suddenly approach me and asked to break up, she says im not the type of man she wants. she is sick and tired of the feeling of insecurity. as a normal person i asked if i can change for her and stuff, and all that other stuff. she says without thinking " no". so i came here and read and joined the no contact challenge. midway through the day she dissappears from class and did not attend the last class. when i got home and ready to accept the fact. she comes out of no where and wants to hear my voice. and says how scrwewed up she is and yea. she wants to talk with me over the phone, but i limited to texting. we've been going out for 3 years now, i still miss her and dont want to let her go. any advice on how i should approach this? a wrong approach can mess this whole thing up.

Kailex said most of what I would also advise you to do.

The first thing to remember is NOT to reward her lame attempts at keeping you around. Do not "communicate" with her about her thoughts and feelings. She has admitted that SHE is the one who is messed up - so what the F has that got to do with you ? It is her problem to handle her own mental issues.
WE have all been though this BS at least once with a woman who says that she wants to breakup and then does a 180 . The worst thing that you can do is allow yourself to be drawn into some attention whoring talkfest with her in which her "confusion" or her pissy "feelings" are the focus of every conversation.

IF she has emotional problems- she needs to get help .
IF she is just faking up drama in an attempt to get you to beg and plead with her to "give you one more chance", then YOU need to ignore her for at least three weeks to teach her that manufactured drama is going to achieve the exact opposite of her intentions.

NEVER pander to a woman's contrived drama... if you do, you will just get more drama.

 

[Donnie Darko]

Once this sh!t happens and the girlfriend breaks up with you and then wants to get back together, all it really means is that you are headed down an inevitable path that she is breaking up with you. She may come crawling back and try to reconcile but your relationship will never be the same and eventually she will break up with you again.

Do you want to continue with the highs and lows of your relationship with her? Will you be able to trust her or be secure with her that she isn't cheating or getting ready to break up with you again?

I'm telling you that it is highly probable that if you take her back she is just going to break up with you again. It might be in 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years. But eventually she will break up with you again.

 

[sagexx]

That's when you show her the door and tell her to GTFO.



Tell her to go buy herself a dog then.



No, not as a normal person... as a WHIPPED AFC.
You don't change for anyone.

Look, if she says she wants to break up... she's saying it because she doesn't want to be with YOU anymore... so why do you want to change YOU for someone you think she wants? There are enough women willing to accept YOU for YOU.



Let her go.
She told you that she doesn't want to be with you. Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Ohhhh, she made a mistake?

Mistakes are when you write a 6 instead of a 9, or you colored outside of the lines in your favorite coloring book or when you accidentally burned the toast.
What she did wasn't a mistake. She knew what she was saying, and I'm just astounded by the fact that you could sit there and instead of kicking her to the curb, you ask to change for her?

HELL to the NO.

The whole thing IS messed up. And guess who messed it up... HER.
She's saying she fvcked up and now you are holding the frame unknowingly.

Oh, it's been 3 years? WHO CARES.
That means nothing. She was willing to throw away 3 years in 3 seconds and you are still considering sticking around with her. What happens when she pulls this crap again in 3 months? Are you going to offer to change for her again?

Grow a pair and then tell her to kiss that pair goodbye.
I wouldn't deal with this situation by trying to get back with her, neither should you.

your right, i shouldve listened, now, im just a lowly whipped afc crying in the corner just cause i didnt listen and asked her if it was possible to get back together a few days she had given me false hope. without thinking she says no.

 

[J Roc]

shes a b*tch. go f*ck her best friend

 

[Zarky]

OP should be dating 2 other women too, and should have been for the past 3 years

 

[sagexx]

shes a b*tch. go f*ck her best friend

Problem now is that I can't think straight, I can't eat and most importantly I can't concentrate on my studyies. Its taking a lot of energy for me to stop thinking and bursting into tears. I'm gonna see her in class tonight. What should I do?
I still miss that b1tch tho since its my first LTR and its only been 4 days since she announced break up.