Tactics NOT working, when trying to get EX back..

Andrew84 · Feb 3, 2008

Hi everyone, I'll try my best to make my situation brief as I can..

I am after some great advice on this so I'll share the main parts.. I read some stuff on here which relates and I do think I'm doing everything right, when I've gotten no results at all..

First of all. situation is I broke up with gf as she threw bratty behavior at me. which i didn't want to but it just came out as i was really angry. then we tried giving another shot for 2 months.. things went well until i started to show "UNATTRACTIVE BEHAVIOR" and then she gave me the flick saying she Cant be bothered having a man and wants to focus on her priorities and was REALLY harsh about it.

I realize now where i went wrong, after i bought "Attraction isn't a choice" .. and a book on gettin ur ex back.. and now know how to keep a relationship with her and her attitude problems, as everything else was GREAT.

- After that devistating day, i BARELY had contact with her. she never saw my depressed side at all. or BARELY. didnt really act needy.

- 2 weeks later she starts chasin this other guy who has a gf and told our mutual friends (more of her friends than mine) that she likes someone else now, and for me to move on as she has.. and that she doesnt wana talk or see me anymore

- i responded by askin her bestfriend to help me, who was the one who told me about it.. and so she tried to setup something so me and my ex could have a talk in tryin 2 work things out still, as she refused to wana see me.. but i man'ed up after a few days from takin advice from a book and then said to her best friend 'nah dont worry about it.. im fine how i am and im moving on' ..

- about 2 weeks later from that, bumped into my EX as she hung out with our mutual friends for a few hours and i kept the cool, happy attitude on. and at the end she goes 'catch up soon ok'

- then i started using tactics from instinct and books i've read. NO CONTACT.. flirting with other girls, going out heaps and having massive fun. and consistantly uploaded pics of me with mates and pics of me flirting with girls in my myspace.. and have girls flirting with me over my myspace comments..also with instinct, i deleted her off my phone and msn (but didnt block her)
So i don't have anything that reminds me of her.. and havent called her or made any intitiation to contact her ever since..

- 1 months later..I start hearing off our mutual friends that shes been saying alot about our breakup and bringing it up.. and trying to get them on her side..

and tellin them to not do things which will have me and her be at the same place with them as she finds it too akward being around me. and that she wasnt happy about the last outing as I was there and no one warned her.

- i continued being happy with my own life and becoming much stronger from this situation but started recently becomin depressed as everything i've been doing, hasn't gotten any emotion out of her and I havent seen any positive results.

and TODAY i bumped into her with those mutual friends again and shes flirting with 2 of the guys and completely snobbed me off this time. ignored me and just made things awkard in the group because of me and her. and LASTNIGHT i had gone clubbin and hooked up with a girl who gave me hickies all over my neck, so TODAY, I wanted my ex to see my hickies without makin it obvious..

So when i walked around, we ended up walkin past eachother and she snobbed me off again, so i said "aww what.. u gonna snob me off are u

"

and she goes.. nah, i was waving a little

- This is AS brief as i can make this situation, in order for you guys to atleast give me some advice and tell me if im doing something wrong here.. but i do know the kind of tactics im using does work..

as i gave this advice to my mate whos in the same boat. but his ex is with some otherdude. and its working like magic for him. but in my case,... IM seeing nothing.. its been 2 months now since i've been truley Man'ing up and using tactics but nothings come out of it.. and i was barely acting needy from the day where she pushed me away.. ONE MORE THING, the last emotions i got out of her was 1 week after that bad day for me, i had pushed the right buttons and then she goes "i'm so dissapointed in u right now.. why did this happen to us" and things seemed really positive.

MUCH appreciate any advice. Thanks

Last Man Standing · Feb 3, 2008

She doesn't want you - quit bothering her!! What else is there to say?

smooth guy · Feb 3, 2008

The tactics aren't working pal because you haven't moved on. Those tactics should be applied for yourself and not as an act to get back your ex (which ain't gonna happen).
Why don't you try do the same and meet new girls? Trying getting back with your ex and being needy about it means 90% of the time it ain't happening, and more importantly it's depressing. Why do you stress and feed your stomach pain for a girl who is apparently the man of this awkward relationship. Wake up and move on

KontrollerX · Feb 3, 2008

She is hurting but she knows its best to hide her feelings.

After all crying in public is not going to get her anywhere and she knows this.

Anyway dude the only mistake I see you making is you trying to get back with her.

You seem to have no trouble landing other babes and your relationship with your ex was going downhill anyway.

Just forget that dead end and move on to new and better horizons.

Honestly some of the people here are like cats in that they vomit up their food and then go and eat it again.

So yeah just leave this alone and start new.

Your ex is the type that is not going to forgive you for this and she's going to go brutal silent treatment because she's not going to want to show any hurt to you.

She is the type to hate her ex not fall back into the ex's arms no matter what tactics are used.

Prodigy746 · Feb 3, 2008

you should game her friend....

Sir Juanalot · Feb 3, 2008

She's an ex for a reason. Why do you want her back when there is an ocean out there teeming with women.

young_gun · Feb 3, 2008

You'd be happier if you just moved on. It seems like you're just delaying that pain that you don't want to feel, but know that you'll feel sometime soon. It sucks, man, but it's something that you're going to have to deal with.

MacAvoy · Feb 3, 2008

Although the stuff that can be learned his works wonders, its not a miracle and can't fix everything. Sometimes all the kings horse and all the kings men, can't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Why do you need someone else to be in charge of YOUR happiness? You need to learn to be happy by yourself before you can ever enter a successful relationship.

Andrew84 · Feb 3, 2008

I see, thanks for the advice everyone.

I know i put a bit too much faith into the 'get your ex back' tactics as it explains that any difficult situation is fixable. and mine didn't seem all that bad.

PRODIGY 746.. wat do u mean game her friend?

I am ofcourse trying my best to move on as i know thats the only way to get an ex back as well. so its kinda like a WIN , WIN situation but she still effects my about 20%

MacAvoy · Feb 3, 2008

Andrew84 said:
I am ofcourse trying my best to move on as i know thats the only way to get an ex back as well. so its kinda like a WIN , WIN situation but she still effects my about 20%

Well the good thing is your on the right track. Your night focussing 100% of your time trying to get your ex back. Your actually going in the right direction. Its just a matter of time before you feel 100% confident again.

Obsidian · Feb 3, 2008

Aboleo · Feb 4, 2008

What more could you possibly learn or experience from this relationship? Learn from your mistakes and move on to something better. It is the only way you will ever grow or learn to express yourself as an individual in reality. This is a process of self-actualization.

I know exactly how you are feeling in this situation and alot of other guys here probably do as well. It is hard to let go... just don't take it personal. Take a step back and allow yourself to 'fail' this time. Life is a process. It is full of twists and turns. You have to learn to be fluid and detached. It's like water under a bridge. I don't know about you, but I don't want tomorrow to be the same as yesterday. I want a fresh start everyday. I want an ever changing experience. The moment all that that stops, "I" cease to exist. "I" become a flesh puppet mirroring the motions and emotions of all those around me. I say **** that ****.

Instead of reading books on how to get your ex back, maybe you should try reading a book on Existentialism.

Remember: Learn as if you were going to live forever, live as if you were going to die tomorrow.

KontrollerX · Feb 4, 2008

Well said aboleo.

Andrew84 · Feb 4, 2008

I'll read up on those links..

and yes ur right in what ur say Aboleo.

thanks fellas. I was also hopin a girl could give me a good perspective on this

WC2 · Feb 4, 2008

Andrew,

I realize you are still in love with your ex. I've been there.. hell I was there a short while ago. Don't let her get the best of you. You may think all of this is YOUR fault as to why you broke up. In reality, you're probably just telling yourself this to give yourself an excuse to try and get back with her. Imagine, if she was in the wrong 100%, you would have to leave her.. so in a sense you're just convincing yourself that this is all on you to go back to her.

Look, I've been in relationships and have been banged up over breakups (from me, her, or mutual). But let me tell you.. there isn't one relationship I look back on now and regret leaving. And I have been with 5 women whom I all thought I loved. Ha.. spend a little time away (a few months) and see how you feel. Right now you probably feel like there's a bottomless pit in your stomach that needs to be filled with your ex. It's natural.. we all get it.

You have to understand that things didn't work out between you two for a reason. Whether she found someone new or she just stopped feeling for you, who knows. Most of the time a woman breaks up with a man because she thinks she has found something better, or believes she has.

Well, I've been broken up with my GF for almost a month now and let me tell you what she thought she found better, turned out to be her downfall. I cut off contact with her for awhile and now she's gradually crawling back to hang out. Nothing obsessive yet, but I'm sure if I keep giving her the cold shoulder she will start to get desperate.

The best thing about this is that I am OVER her. I can admit that I did love her and I was busted up about our breakup, but I no longer need her. We may use eachother for sex in the future, but that's because I'm mentally strong enough now not to get attached to her again. Trust me and leave this alone. One day you're going to wake up and feel like a million bucks with no thoughts of your ex anywhere. It may take awhile, but trust me.. the day will come.

good luck and let me know if you need help

Aboleo · Feb 4, 2008

WC2 said:
But let me tell you.. there isn't one relationship I look back on now and regret leaving. And I have been with 5 women whom I all thought I loved. Ha.. spend a little time away (a few months) and see how you feel. Right now you probably feel like there's a bottomless pit in your stomach that needs to be filled with your ex. It's natural.. we all get it.

You have to understand that things didn't work out between you two for a reason...

So true!:yes:

Andrew84 · Feb 5, 2008

Thanks HEAPS for sharing that WC2.

I know what i should be doing and i am trying my very best to move on.. NOT quite there yet =/

I just get pulled back every now and then as i feel the situation can easily be resolved, just that shes not letting it..

- I was explaining to my friend just before, that pretty much everygirl i go out with, they seem all wonderful, nice and genuine when you first meet them... but then once a breakup happens, you see an entirely new BAD side to them that you didnt see before.. they turn into *****es, act all fake to people around them and use others..

anyhow thanks heaps for everyones support

Tactics NOT working, when trying to get EX back..

Andrew84

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Last Man Standing

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smooth guy

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KontrollerX

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Prodigy746

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Sir Juanalot

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young_gun

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MacAvoy

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Andrew84

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MacAvoy

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Obsidian

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Aboleo

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KontrollerX

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Andrew84

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WC2

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Aboleo

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