synergy: Rate the importance of these aspects of an LTR

[jbbrain]

I'm very curious as to what u guys think...whats most important to you in an LTR???

Rate their importance and explain why:

-Challenge (not showing she has won u over completely (demonstrationg impending finality for instance), not seeing her everyday, not "saying" how much u enjoy her company")

-Confidence (I now this term is very much all encompassing; for that reason alone, it may deem as the most important: Just plain being happy with yourself and Life in general. Achieved through sel improvement , goal attainment ad fighting through your fears

-Control (Basically following the advice that if she knows she has more control than u do over the relationship, it's over I.e. having backbone:telling her no, not allowing disrespect etc.

-Fun (Just diving right in there, showing her the great guy you are, having amazing action dates, keeping her on her toes, laughing, weekend getaways etc)
-Communication (Some say this is the most important part of an LTR, I wont really explain what it is, u guys should know)

-Giving her the best sex you can possibly "afford", and maybe the best sex she's ever had.

-Unpredictability (maybe this goes both under "challenge" and "fun", but really just keeping her on her toes)

-Drama (Some would laugh at this aspect, but it's said tahgt for some women, they NEED drama in their lives to kleep them interested. That could mean starting fights for no real reason, making her cry, sometimes being downright disrespectful etc.

-Ambition (showing your woman your going places in life, with or without her)

-Assertiveness (You lead, she follows..basically taking the ltr by the horns, making all the date plans, telling her on occasion to do this, not to do that: I know many girls who LOVE being told what to do by their boyfriends

-Romance (this is a biggy: Showing her either through words or actions how much u enjoy her company, known to increase a womans already high IL, not create it (but that what were discussing here anyways)

Add more to the list if you want. Everybody here somehow thinks differently of what aspects make a good, long lasting LTR. What are your priorities???

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Hey not a bad list.

The answer is ...

... How would "she" rank the list.


If you know your woman, you should be able to reorder everything based on how she would rank it. Different women will order it differently. Some may not even like Drama for instance but others may need it.

And just remember that it is not what she says or her politically-correct answers, it's how she as a female actually reacts and responds to each one in the long-run.

 

[Chewy Bagel]

Ok, imagine your closest guy-friend. You hang out with him daily and go to clubs/parties/wherever with him on the weekends.

Now, my criteria for a LTR is to have a girl who is my best friend who I like doing everything with as well as get to fvck.

All the other stuff, control, romance, etc doesn't fit into the equation for me.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Chewy Bagel
Ok, imagine your closest guy-friend. You hang out with him daily and go to clubs/parties/wherever with him on the weekends.

Now, my criteria for a LTR is to have a girl who is my best friend who I like doing everything with as well as get to fvck.

All the other stuff, control, romance, etc doesn't fit into the equation for me.

that was beautiful man, seriously

the only other thing that shed be is just really nice, thus like a good friend of mine would be

 

[jbbrain]

bump

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Chewy Bagel
Ok, imagine your closest guy-friend. You hang out with him daily and go to clubs/parties/wherever with him on the weekends.

Now, my criteria for a LTR is to have a girl who is my best friend who I like doing everything with as well as get to fvck.

All the other stuff, control, romance, etc doesn't fit into the equation for me.

true true, but you do need the romance also, however the two most important things in a LTR are trust and communication!

 

[mrbreeze]

Make no mistake…

Control is the most important.

You got to let her know you won’t put up with games or s#it.

If she does things that make you uncomfortable or unhappy, she’s gotta know you will walk, otherwise she will walk all over you, thus losing respect, and therefore interest in you.

 

[jbbrain]

ok, more opinions!!

see, were seeing very different perspectives on this issue

im curious to see what other ppl think

 

[OpenMind]

im with Mr. breeze.. Control is #1, because control shows that you have Confidence and without it you cant be a Challenge... with these three taken care of your woman should have a damn high interest level.. all the other aspects will automatically fall into place when your woman has high interest! a woman with high interest will do anything for you! just my 2 cents!

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by OpenMind
im with Mr. breeze.. Control is #1, because control shows that you have Confidence and without it you cant be a Challenge... with these three taken care of your woman should have a damn high interest level.. all the other aspects will automatically fall into place when your woman has high interest! a woman with high interest will do anything for you! just my 2 cents!

Control can show insecurity. I know a few guys who tried to control their woman, and they ended up cheating on these guys! Other guys control their woman and yes it can lead to a good relationship if the woman is willing to be controlled. But most girls I date seem to be very independent and if I try to control them they go crazy and argue and argue and argue! No point, just let them have their freedom too, this way you can both have your own lives, and grow with eachother too!

 

[Chimps]

All these things are great to have in a LTR. I've been in a LTR now for 2 years. I think that all of these are important and I have them all with my fiancée and I will glady rank them.

Communication (Some say this is the most important part of an LTR, I wont really explain what it is, u guys should know)

Communication is by far the biggest aspect of a LTR. You gotta be able to communicate with the girl, talk things out if you have a disagreement, and get along really well. If there is no communication problems, then I consider the relationship to be excellent and stable.

Control (Basically following the advice that if she knows she has more control than u do over the relationship, it's over I.e. having backbone:telling her no, not allowing disrespect etc.

Control is the second most important aspect of a LTR. If you can't control the girl you are with its good as over. Sometimes there might be some control issues between me and my girl but overall, I have all the control.

Fun (Just diving right in there, showing her the great guy you are, having amazing action dates, keeping her on her toes, laughing, weekend getaways etc)

Fun is next on the list. If I can't enjoy the time that I spend with the girl, then the relationship is as good as over. With my fiancée, we've been together for 2 years now, and it is still fun. We love doing things together and it's great. I wouldn't change anything that I have done with her in the past.

Confidence (I now this term is very much all encompassing; for that reason alone, it may deem as the most important: Just plain being happy with yourself and Life in general. Achieved through sel improvement , goal attainment ad fighting through your fears

Confidence is next on the list. If she does not feel good about herself, or good in the relationship, then the LTR is not stable and is on going downhill. Confidence is very important.

Ambition (showing your woman your going places in life, with or without her)

Ambition is important. My fiancée knows that I will continue to move forward in my life whether she is with me or not. I recently got promoted to Vice Principal(I am a educator) and she knows I am on the move and that I will continue to do so with or without her. She also has her own ambition, as she is in medical school at an Ivy League school, so if she were to move on, she'd do so without me.

Giving her the best sex you can possibly "afford", and maybe the best sex she's ever had.

This is important. If you are not compatible with the girl with the things you enjoy in your sex life, its over. My fiancée has told me that the sex is great and it is by far the best she has ever had.

Assertiveness (You lead, she follows..basically taking the ltr by the horns, making all the date plans, telling her on occasion to do this, not to do that: I know many girls who LOVE being told what to do by their boyfriends

This is important but I really don't care about it. My girl knows I plan the dates, and what she should and shouldn't do at my house, because its mine(I bought my first house back in May). She has told me that she loves being told what to do by me, but I don't like to be a control freak who makes someone do their every move.

Romance (this is a biggy: Showing her either through words or actions how much u enjoy her company, known to increase a womans already high IL, not create it (but that what were discussing here anyways)

This is important in a LTR. We haven't had many romantic times together since I took on a second job, but we did have one last night. We lit some candles, put on some background music, and just held each other in our arms and made out. Fun time last night. It is good to have a night like this once and awhile.

Challenge (not showing she has won u over completely (demonstrationg impending finality for instance), not seeing her everyday, not "saying" how much u enjoy her company")

This is not important to me at all. She already knows she has won me over because I proposed to her. She lives with me so we see each other every day, and she know's I enjoy her company.

Unpredictability (maybe this goes both under "challenge" and "fun", but really just keeping her on her toes)

This is important in a relationship. I recently surprised her with a nice gift because of the new job she got. I won't say what I got her, because you guys would think I am nuts but oh well.

Drama (Some would laugh at this aspect, but it's said tahgt for some women, they NEED drama in their lives to kleep them interested. That could mean starting fights for no real reason, making her cry, sometimes being downright disrespectful etc.

I hate drama but it is also needed to liven up the relationship. I hear enough high school drama during the day at work.

 

[LJC]

My answer would be fun.

The best LTR I've had injected fun into almost every aspect of the above list. Fun with control, fun wih challange, fun with sex and romance, fun with spontinuity...

In so far as aspects like confidence and ambition, that's just for me. The girl is just along for the ride.

 

[OpenMind]

Clooney, Control is about controlling yourself and being a man, not about controlling your woman. it is self control.. the most important trait a DJ MUST have.. you are right, if you control your woman then you look insecure because you are insecure (you have no self control!) self control means not giving in to your desire to see your woman every waking moment of the day, not giving in to her every want and need, not getting jealous when she flirts with other men in front of you, doing what you have to do for yourself even when she disagreees with you, not letting her shyt tests get you upset and change your game plan, it also means letting your woman live her life as she wants as well but if she disrespects you, you have the balls to back off without getting upset and you can walk away if necessary. and importantly it means controlling yourself enough to give your 50% into the relationship that she is due...... Without self control you cannot be a challenge or confident. When you have control, confidence, and challenge, the rest becomes secondary.. not unnecessary..

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by OpenMind
Clooney, Control is about controlling yourself and being a man, not about controlling your woman. it is self control.. the most important trait a DJ MUST have.. you are right, if you control your woman then you look insecure because you are insecure (you have no self control!) self control means not giving in to your desire to see your woman every waking moment of the day, not giving in to her every want and need, not getting jealous when she flirts with other men in front of you, doing what you have to do for yourself even when she disagreees with you, not letting her shyt tests get you upset and change your game plan, it also means letting your woman live her life as she wants as well but if she disrespects you, you have the balls to back off without getting upset and you can walk away if necessary. and importantly it means controlling yourself enough to give your 50% into the relationship that she is due...... Without self control you cannot be a challenge or confident. When you have control, confidence, and challenge, the rest becomes secondary.. not unnecessary..

ok ok, I get ya! Misunderstanding!

 

[OpenMind]

lol

 

[MetalFortress]

bump

 

[quest]

Originally posted by jbbrain
I'm very curious as to what u guys think...whats most important to you in an LTR???

Rate their importance and explain why:

-Challenge (not showing she has won u over completely (demonstrationg impending finality for instance), not seeing her everyday, not "saying" how much u enjoy her company")

-Confidence (I now this term is very much all encompassing; for that reason alone, it may deem as the most important: Just plain being happy with yourself and Life in general. Achieved through sel improvement , goal attainment ad fighting through your fears

-Control (Basically following the advice that if she knows she has more control than u do over the relationship, it's over I.e. having backbone:telling her no, not allowing disrespect etc.

-Fun (Just diving right in there, showing her the great guy you are, having amazing action dates, keeping her on her toes, laughing, weekend getaways etc)
-Communication (Some say this is the most important part of an LTR, I wont really explain what it is, u guys should know)

-Giving her the best sex you can possibly "afford", and maybe the best sex she's ever had.

-Unpredictability (maybe this goes both under "challenge" and "fun", but really just keeping her on her toes)

-Drama (Some would laugh at this aspect, but it's said tahgt for some women, they NEED drama in their lives to kleep them interested. That could mean starting fights for no real reason, making her cry, sometimes being downright disrespectful etc.

-Ambition (showing your woman your going places in life, with or without her)

-Assertiveness (You lead, she follows..basically taking the ltr by the horns, making all the date plans, telling her on occasion to do this, not to do that: I know many girls who LOVE being told what to do by their boyfriends

-Romance (this is a biggy: Showing her either through words or actions how much u enjoy her company, known to increase a womans already high IL, not create it (but that what were discussing here anyways)

Add more to the list if you want. Everybody here somehow thinks differently of what aspects make a good, long lasting LTR. What are your priorities???

i'm scared...

challenge - i had that well under control, but now i'm seeing her every second day.

confidence - i'm performing well in, perhaps a little bit insecure, but more so 2 weeks ago then now.

control - got that, but i'm not an overly controlling person, and get worried she'll think the things i want to do are ****..

fun - yeah, she thinks i'm a blast..

sex - havent had in ages, (good reasons for not having it) but before that i was the only guy to have made her orgasm with my ****, hopefully she wasn't lying..

unpredicability - think i'm fairly predictable.

drama - she has plenty, not created by me. she's definently a drama queen, i normally take the others side, good or bad?

ambition - killing it.

assertiveness - 50/50 when i lead she follows, but i'm a reluctant leader.

romance - i think i'm pretty good.. but maybe AFC? dunno.. i cooked for her a while ago (we were house sitting/living together for a week).. she told me "u never send me any sweet txt messages" so i wrote her a poem etc.. not sure if these are afc or dj? i dunno.. she seems to like it.. i'll try to not overdo it..

i've tried to answer that stuff as honestly as i can, could anyone give me pointers where i really need to improve.