People are actually more honest when drunk. She probably does not respect you. Next her.
This is a great point - I both agree and disagree with it.
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions so what comes out is "honest" and it is "you" to a degree - but your inhibitions are also part of who you are. Your inhibitions are learned filters that your life experience has created. For example, maybe your natural state in childhood was to get really angry when you can't get your way and as a result, your emotions control your actions. Hopefully your life experiences combined with your IQ and your role models will help you learn to create filters you can consciously apply to inhibit your emotional reactions to not getting your way. But when alcohol enters the picture, your filters are removed and you begin acting in a very raw, emotional state without the benefit of your life's lessons and wisdom.
I have said and done things while intoxicated that I would not do if I was sober. Yes, I fully admit that the things I did came from ME, I understand why I did them, I understand the thought process that formed my actions and this was 100% ME and not the alcohol (the thought processes I had would be the same sober or drunk), so to your point, I was being very honest while drunk. However, emotions happen -
we cannot control our emotions, but we CAN control our reactions/actions to our emotions (through our learned-filters and conscious decision making) and this is where alcohol comes in and fvcks it up. I can experience the anger over certain things a girl does, but due to my learned-filters, I know there are certain things I should just let go, other things I should respond to with some silence and distance, and other things I should clearly communicate boundaries over. But when intoxicated, these filters are removed and my emotions drive me and I say and do things I shouldn't, and wouldn't if sober. It works the same with everyone - this is what alcohol does. This is one of the reasons I chose to quit drinking.
OP I mention all this in direct response to your experience. The girl in your story may have solid filters in place that would prevent her from acting that way while sober. There are two points to consider about her:
1. How strong are those filters? Are they strong enough that they will remain intact 99% of the time while sober? Or is she only able to apply the filters with a lot of effort, which would mean she can only apply them for a few weeks or months before her emotions finally get the better of her and she starts acting out? I have experienced both situations with women. People can hide who they are for a few months but generally not longer so just monitor this over time and don't over-invest in the first three months.
2. If she has demonstrated this behavior while drunk, you can be POSITIVE it will happen again if she drinks again. Maybe not every time, but her inability to moderate her drinking may be just due to being young and inexperienced with alcohol, or it may be due to her being an alcoholic. Bottom line, if a girl exhibits this behavior while drunk, the only way I would keep seeing this girl is if she quit drinking, and there's a very low chance a 19yo (or even a 40yo) is going to do that for you so the choice is pretty simple: Stay with her with the understanding she's going to act this way again soon, or next her now and waste no more time on her.
